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arrrrffff

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Everything posted by arrrrffff

  1. arrrrffff
    Please take the advice of these replies. We understand it's incredibly hard to leave someone that you love, but you really do deserve better. I commend you on forgiving him and still caring for him, because that's what we all should do. However, that doesn't mean you have to continuously get hurt by him. It looks like he's having some issues right now. He's seeing other girls (he clearly doesn't think it's wrong), he's cheating on you, and he was on drugs (though he stopped thanks to you, so he can change). If you think he's worth it then stay with him. If he starts a fight and avoids the issue then that's degrading and you don't need someone like that when you want to talk.
  2. arrrrffff
    Online chatting and phone conversations are more indirect/ informal forms of communication. You can't see body language, nor their emotions. Alot of times your left guessing - "are they in the bathroom? they sure haven't responded in a while... maybe their ignoring me? etc..." Sometimes we rather talk in person and that's perfectly normal. Some people just don't like to be tied to the phone, or be holding a handset in their ears. I usually rather talk in person because I tend to gravitate towards my bed when I know it will be a long convo. I hate this because I start to fall alseep and it's the next morning when I'm awake, lol. I also find myself multi-tasking, so I'll tune out and read something or start making a meal/ eating, etc, and it's rude to the other person. I'd say keep it short and know when to end the convo before both of you experience dead air. Sit down and concentrate on them without distracting yourself. When your busy, then clearly and nicely state that.
  3. arrrrffff
    First, you have people that care for you here. That's a start. =] I get what your saying. Friends are rare. It's not just you. A friend is someone who is there for you when you least expect it. They don't judge you, and genuinly care for you. They will set aside time when you want to talk. Most people we hang around with do not fit that defination. The only way your are going to gain friends is to actually meet them. Don't fear rejection. Actively go out and find things you love to do, and you will find people. You also have to communicate - talk to the people around you. You can eneter a room, bus, mall etc... and you find most people do not talk. Stand out! Start talking, and you will find someone who will want to. PM sent.
  4. arrrrffff
    My ex left me and I found out that she cheated on me. She's become my innocent sweet girl into this party animal who can't stop drinking and doing the wild girl thing with guys twice her age. However not all girls are like this. It's such a generalization. Remember that some of these people are actors, or college kids who are paid to do something like this. It may not be genuine. Plus, the younger crowd does tend to get a lil' crazy and drunk at their age, so it's not a moral crime. It's true however, it may haunt them in the future when voters, their kids, co-workers, bosses, fans, etc... ask them "hey is this you?"
  5. arrrrffff
    It is certainly doable, but will need you to keep on a strict schedule until the 4th. Can you tell us what exactly your problem is? You haven't been able to concentrate for how long? is this a recurring problem? What affected this (a breakup, laziness...)? If it's medical related please got seek medical attention (family doctor, counsellor, psychiatrist, nurse, etc... all which are probably accesible through your school and all appointments are confidential) Your free to PM me if you don't feel like posting.
  6. arrrrffff
    "And it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else." "They say if you love somebody than you have got to set them free, but I would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery." It's what I live by and get confused when your partner doesn't recipricate. You tell them from your heart that I could take all this pain because being with you makes me happy. You tell them that no matter how successful, happy, how many friends you have or how many fans you have or the dream home/car/ career you have that your imcomplete without them. You want him/ her... but sometimes people just want more. She she/ he leaves. Deepak Chopra said that the person that your are with now is in all likeihood the person you need right now. He said why would you want to look elsewhere, when you have someone that loves you in front of you. Together you can make anything happen and resolve all issues and be loved. Instead your ex decides to leave you for someone/thing else.
  7. arrrrffff
    Mac is right, walk away. I know it hurts to do this NC thing and walk away, but it will hurt EVEN MORE if you stay and play her game. Do you see yourself as a guy who would brag to your ex about how GREAT your new [rebound] girl is? That's just pathetic and mean. If shes really 'happy' with such a great guy, she can stay 'happy.' Take care.
  8. arrrrffff
    definitely. I mean as FRIENDS she could come to you for advice, but relationship advice? It's a sign she could care less how you feel. She's hurting you. Whether she feels guilty or whatever the reason, she could easily call some other friend... maybe her GIRLfriends to talk to. Think about it... someone dumps you, and then selfishly calls you and says: "Hey I got a new partner!!! Let me describe them for you..." need2... tell it to her like Zomb did. Make it KNOWN that you do not want o hear about her love life.
  9. arrrrffff
    definitely think before you speak: "Is this going to be a negative statement?" The best thing you can do is listen and AGREE with the person. You will find you'll gain alot of trust that way and people will want to talk to you.
  10. arrrrffff
    "Well that's a rather unique question to ask. Let's see. He would be... whoever you were looking at before you posed me your question, of course."
  11. arrrrffff
    definitely Toastmasters. They will help you talk with ease and more confidently. They also teach effective ways to talk and use hands and body positions not just in business, but realtionships, and life in general. I am like Aurian. My hands are everywhere, they even scare me. So I have resorted to having my hands at my sides, and only occasionally use them (no sudden karate chopping motions as you'll scare your date or business person away).
  12. arrrrffff
    My ex brokeup with me because of some cheating guy flirting with her. It's both their faults. So now we have 2 lying cheating people together. I can tell you, you do NOT want this happening to your girlfriend, so why do it? There is absolutely no reason why you should be persuing a person that is UNAVAILABLE. It's crossing the fine line in relationships. Plus, you are totally selfish for thinking that way. She can make her own decisions, and frankly she doesn't see a reason to leave her boy. You can't judge people like that by calling him a moron or the like. He must have qualities that she likes, and you hate. Move on. Also, that losing 3 kids post was very scary. I wouldn't want to be with someone who thought like that.
  13. arrrrffff
    Thank-you all. I didn't think it would make me look bad. Now I know because I don't need that especially from her. Caterina - The break is still in it's infancy so Id be lying if I said I'm 100% healed. Sure I'd miss these objects, but it basically says: "I miss her." I just feel it's wrong to trash all these things. laboheme - your correct. My heart would look for a reply/ response/ reaction. However, my NC has shown me I don't dwell on this to happen as it hasn't and don't think will anytime soon. My doors open, her's is not. cc and cc2006 - tacky, jerk, cold, heartless... yea I don't want to be thought of that way. Tho I like the 'rubbing it in her face notion' hehe. No there's nothing of value to other people - only the anniversary pendant. I don;t have stuff she left behind she needs either. They're all sentimental things.
  14. arrrrffff
    Wow, very uplifting. daletroN you are right. If your had a bad relationship then your ex won't be thinking like that of you. However, Im sure she will miss some of the good things about you.
  15. arrrrffff
    lol. I'd take the TV too. =] But I'm talking personal items here, hehe. My lil' treasure chest of memories. I'm not a mean guy. I know this is in someways mean. However, I'm trying to passively say: "Here's all the sweet talk and lies you gave me." So essentially what I'll be left with is no txt messages left, no e-mails, no photos, no keepsakes, letters etc... Basically, "you don't even exist here in my life anymore."
  16. arrrrffff
    So I have this special place where I have kept every ticket, gift, receipt, letter, photo, journal, blanket, stuffed toys, ad infinitum since the beginning of my relationship with my long-term ex. She is now going out with the guy she cheated me on, who in turn cheated on his long term gf. I feel so bad for his poor girl who hasn't even found out yet. NC has been done for 2 + months now and I will remain in NC because I really do not need someone like that, although i still care for her. Anyways enough of that story, you can read my 1st post for more info on that. What do you think of me returning every single one of the items associated with us back to her. I'm just going to box them up and put in on her front doorstep when I am in the area and leave. This has nothing to do with getting her back, or my ego. I just do not want this stuff near me anymore, but I don't want to trash them (just doesn't feel right). She still has all our stuff on her walls and room according to my friends. It's up to her what she wants to do with it. She can peruse through all those good memories and see how she's changed for the worse - all that she left behind. Has anyone here acutally gave everything back?
  17. arrrrffff
    I would actually really love the doggy. If a 'cute' girl isn't someone you want then you have to think if this girl is right for you. In no way does it show your soft and weak. You really should NOT be complaining what you got as a GIFT.
  18. arrrrffff
    FA18, Merry Christmas. Okay so she said that... so what? Fuggitaboutit. It needs no reply whatsoever. Believe me, by doing this you are NOT showing any weakness, nor being mean at all. Your are doing yourself a favour, and displaying strength. Very few people will be able to maintain NC early in the breakup, but you have, keep it up. It SEEMS like she forgot about you, but think about it. You had a good relationship. She can't forget about you. It's impossible to. She's acting this way cuz shes moving on, and/ or wants to feel less guilty.
  19. arrrrffff
    I'm military so my hairstyle has got from short to short, lol. I find I am much much stronger emotionally. I use to cry alot, and now nothing seems to make me want to. I guess it's a protective mechanism, being more closed and all. I don't know if it's a bad thing, but I am less the playful youth I use to be and more professional and serious now.
  20. arrrrffff
    That's basically what my ex said to me over the phone. drum4., my relationship was for 3.16 years, and it's been 9 weeks, going on 10. I know it hurts, and you feel kind of angry right now. I think she did love you after your breakup, but something made the flame fade. Anyways, you WILL feel sadness, pain, anger etc... but you will find someone who truley loves you. Don't waste your time and energy on something that is broken now. Happy Holidays.
  21. arrrrffff
    Everyone here is right when they say let it pass. Would you really want an e-mail? Your not looking for a "Merry Christmas" message. Your looking for a "baby I want you back" one. My ex hasn't contacted me this holiday season. And you know what? That shows how much you mean to them. It shows how much they care about you. You DO NOT DESERVE to be treated that way. If you have kids and your ex doesn't see them, then that just shows their real character. Happy Holidays.
  22. arrrrffff
    Style my hair every single day even when I'm exercising Look like a bachelor because of all the new clothes I've bought ($1000+ worth) more confident see my future more clearly do new things (exercise ALOT, guitar, volunteer, organ donation sign-up, blood donation, new business, study alot, better prepared, ad infinitum) Even through all that, I'm still thinking of her even though I would rather not. However, looking your best and being your best helps yourself, the people around you, and if you bump into your ex one day. Happy Holidays.
  23. arrrrffff
    Me= guy. You would notice that I am spending my time with you more than everyone else. I can also be happier than normal when your around. What about the guy looking different? He's in school clothes, and suddenly he's well groomed, dressed nice whenever your around each other.
  24. arrrrffff
    Why do you want to be with a guy who is not there for you or your baby? What makes it worse is the fact he is shacking up with a girl who is ALREADY in a realtionship, so he clearly does not have his morals straight. I know it hurts to read this. You need to be around family and friends. Plus, were always here to talk too. * how do you have his phone records? Stop torturing yourself.
  25. arrrrffff
    dave, is correct. I know it's been eternity for you, but for her, the dumper, it will only push her away because she already made her decision. Give her what she wants... strict NC. If she really loves you, then she will have to live with that decision. That also means, she will also have to live through Christmas without you. Stop pestering yourself with self-pity because it is in the past now. dnozzle, enough time = when she clearly wants to get back and she contacts you to tell you this OR you bump into each other in the future and it becomes a 'first' date.
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