No, useYOURname

Capable of doing it once, she is capable of doing it again and again. It will be easier to her each time.

Thanks, for the support. I don't know where some of those last comments came from condemning me. I watched some of these videos years ago and I didn't really care for them ever. Sure, I like looking at hot naked chicks, but I couldn't believe what I was seeing. No, I never supported this kind of crap because I have never purchased any of these videos. I've seen ones that other people have purchased. If I'm focusing on anything, it's the fact that I'm concerned about the number of girls that appear to be wholesome and moral one day and then as soon as some guy says, "Hey, show me your goods down there" they do it. Holier than thou? Where does that come from? You know what, I have never pulled out my unit and flashed it at anyone in the middle of a spring break traffic jam. Nor have I gotten drunk and had sex with my best friend while some guy filmed it to sell on late night cable commercials. Has anybody been on the internet since it was popularized? There's no shortage of sites where daddy's girl gets paid $200 to do all sorts of things that would make Jenna Jameson blush. I'm sure there are plenty of girlfriends out there going behind there man's back to hook up with some porn producer for textbook money. I'm glad none of you seem to have any experience with this or know someone who has. I've just been shocked lately at the endless supply of 18 to 30 year old women who will do anything for a camera. I've been thinking it was probably more than a select few. Maybe, maybe not.

These are good replies, I guess. I hope I'm not right by my estimates above. I am actually appalled and saddened by the behavior I've seen in a lot of girls today. And by behavior I'm talking about morals and ethics and how they act when they "think" they can get away with things. I'm referencing girls I've known who come from fair to good backgrounds with parents who do their best to raise them right. I think some of you need to watch some of these videos, although not for pleasure's sake. A lot of these girls are well dressed, well spoken college girls riding around in the car that daddy bought them at 2 in the afternoon. Yeah, I sort of enjoyed watching these videos when I was 19 or 20. Now I get sick and change the channel whenever I see the ads on late at night. It's deplorable. It makes me never want to have a daughter and it makes me cringe at the thought of my ex engaging in damaging behavior like that. I think the last thing a society has is the quality and integrity of its women. If you've heard the phrase women and children first, that comes as a general univeral truth saying that if you lose the women and children you've lost everything. I just want a sexy girlfriend who's not a * * * *. I'm trying to hold out hope that one actually exists out there for me. I want to feel the way about her that I felt about my ex. Only this time I actually want the girl to be real person and not some vacant soul reflecting my own good qualities back at me.

This question comes from dealing with all the different types of pain and sadness that my ex gf left me with when she broke up with me and I found out she had been leading a double life. I found out about cheating, lying, and a non-stop parade of schizophrenic B.S. I don't know everything that she may have done behind my back, but what I did find out shook me to my core. My question concerns the general morals and self-respect of today's young women. Back in about 1999 when I was in college the "Girls Gone Wild" videos started to be advertised. Eventually someone I knew bought the first round and I watched them. I have to say it was surprising and I got a "rise" out of it. I was really shocked at the number of decent looking girls that I thought were genuinely attractive who would lift up their shirts or pull down their pants for some guys holding a camera. If you have never seen the videos there are some hot chicks who show everything they have to show while sitting in a car with friends. Now everybody knows about these so when girls show off their goods for the cameras they know it's going to be sold and viewed by anybody. It still haunts me to think that the one-time love of my life sort of acted (behind my back) like the girls in these videos. Ladies, be honest here: Are you all like that know? How many of you would spread your legs or jiggle your chest for some dorks standing in the middle of the road with a camera? I think it's sad, but I used to think that only a small percentage of sluts would stoop that low and now I think it must be 75% of girls today who would jump at the chance to get naked for free in some dark alley. How many of you do and what are your opinions?

Wow, these are good. Here's another that just made no sense to lie about. My ex said she was riding down a very busy stretch of highway when she saw a puppy on the side of the road. Now this highway is two four lanes in each direction making a total of 8 lanes. She said she saw the dog and had to help it so she pulled over and parked her truck. She then ran/dodged traffic and picked up the dog. After that she took the dog to the nearest Petsmart and while inside finding it some food she came accross an old man on a handicapped scooter (you know the kind) the man complemented her dog and she said here you go sir. The man was thrilled with his new pet. Every now and then she would tell me a story like this and I would fall for it. She would make up lies for no reason. There were others, but this is one I can't believe she even had the time to create. When you love someone, you'll believe anything.

I have felt the awful shock and pain of the worst so I know what I'm about to say. Not that I think I am 100% correct, I'm just saying be prepared. She is not as serious as you. She may have another guy she's seeing and if her parents even give a crap about her and her relationships, I bet they don't know or care to know much about you. My ex was very wealthy. They didn't flash it around like hip-hop moguls, but they definitely had nice stuff and plenty of it. Plenty of it. Basically my ex's father made his millions by concentrating on business year after year and my ex grew up in an environment of feeling 2nd rate to her father, sister, etc. Your situation seems awfully familiar. Is your gf selfish? Does she pour on the affection sometimes and seem distant at the drop of a hat? Are there other instances in your relationship that just don't add up? Try asking her a definite easy to answer but serious question. If she answers with some off the wall nonsense then press her with another question. If the answers just get worse and worse and more outrageous then find a new girlfriend.

You've got a girlfriend don't you. What's your problem? Why have her if you can't talk to her? You're only 17, wait until some time in your future when you don't have a gf or anyone to get close to. Then you will wish you had her in your life. Trust me, take advantage of this time to talk to her, pour it out. It can only strengthen you relationship with her and if it runs her off then she wasn't right for you anyway. I really thought your thread was going to end up wishing you could talk to or get a gf. Then you said you had one already. I'm sure your other problems are not fun, but your best shoulder is probably her "real" one and not the cyber ones you will find here.

I thought it might be fun to post some of the horror stories about what an evil ex might have done to you. This is the "healing" forum after all, so maybe a once sad but now somewhat funny story of mine can induce others to post some more. I met my now ex in April 2003. We had 2 months of a courtship game that went up and down. After another 2 months of no contact we finally started a relationship in early September 2003. At the beginning of this relationship she gave me a handmade ceramic bowl. She said she made the bowl earlier in the summer at a local cafe/arts and crafts store. Being familiar with the store and understanding that she had feelings for me all summer I believed her. I kept this bowl in my bedroom for almost 2.5 years until she broke up with me earlier this year. When she broke up with me I spent $76 at UPS mailing her everything she had ever given me - I mean everything. This bowl was one of the items. After she broke up with me I found out she had been cheating on me with this unsuspecting guy for 10 months. I tracked him down via a lot of research and crazy obsession at that time and we talked for about a week. Here's the kicker. My ex broke up with me on Valentine's day this year. That's when I sent her all the stuff via UPS including the bowl. When I was talking to the guy she cheated on me with for so long he told me what she gave him for Valentine's Day. A handmade ceramic bowl - he described it's unique color - it was the same one she gave to me 2.5 years earlier that she said she made for me. When she gave it to him she said I made this for you. What happened is she went and got my big box of memories from our time together opened it up and saw that bowl. She apparently thought of how she hadn't bought anything for her bf for Valentine's Day and she delivered it to him that very day that it arrived at her house. I won't mention the fact that she was already cheating on him at the time and actually broke up with him about 2 weeks after this incident. The guy she started seeing before she split with both of us is now her fiance. I've got more.

I feel like going with the flow means totally trusting your partner at the beginning of the relationship and waiting to see if things work out or collapse. I know, I know, there are no guarantees when dealing with relationships. I just want to avoid the problems I've had in the past and I want to avoid them in a respectful but proactive way. Funny thing about Crazyaboutdogs' above comment as it pertains to my ex gf is that she never really gave herself a past, present, and future. She didn't get rid of her past simultaneous boyfriends (me being one of them) until she was a few weeks into the relationship with her now fiance. Her past, present, and future overlapped in one big ball of lies. I guess I've developed a fear almost like a phobia of thinking any girl I want in my future will do the same thing to me, and if it happens again I don't know how I'm going to handle it.

A good friend of mine married a girl with a terrible past. I'm surprised he even sleeps next to her, but she told him EVERYTHING and doesn't try to hide her past from anyone. What I'm trying to avoid in the future is long term love that ends due to issues that could have been brought to light at the start of the relationship. For example my ex is now engaged. What her fiance doesn't know is that when he started with her back in January, she was still with me and was cheating with another guy I didn't even know about. He thought he was starting of with a girl all his own but the opposite was true and unknown to him their relationship started off with complete misrepresentation of her real situation. Maybe she can be true (doubtful) but she will always know that she got him by lying to him and his friends. I guess my question is: Can a marriage or a long term commitment develop when a relationship started out under false pretenses? I don't want to have this happen to me again, but if I question the girl all she has to do is lie?

I think that's called luck. Congrats. As far as not trusting your ex's sexual past; I say you were probably right to let her go. I have had trouble result from being lied to and am actually seeing that resurface with others now.

Contiki was the company I found. I might give them a try, but I would be going alone. I wouldn't even be going with friends or a group at all. None of my friends ever want to do anything and it's such a pain.

I've waited to call a girl until I couldn't stand to wait any longer. I think that's a good thing. Maybe once every two or three days at first and then hopefully she will call you. Hope it works out for you.

Lately, I and some people I know have been tossing around some of the same ideas. I'm also asking this as an idea if I'm ever lucky enough to start things off with another girl. If a relationship starts of with lies can it last? The lies I'm talking about are lies about your past such as relationships, drugs, sex, behavior, etc. I have had a terrible experience with my now ex having started off our relationship by totally lying about and misrepresenting herself. If I ever get another girl's attention I know I'm going to worry about her past and I'm going to want to know about it. All she has to do is lie though, and then I'll be right back where I was with the last girl. So if a relationship starts off with a girl lying to me and telling me what she thinks I want to hear, can there be a future for us? Is the phrase, "What he doesn't know won't hurt us," a possibility or will all lies eventually cause you trouble? By the way, I'm not talking about telling someone you like Pepsi when you actually hate it. I'm talking about totally misrepresenting your past and lying about the kinds of things that would send most any guy running in the opposite direction of you.

Good advice. Thanks. I actually never thought my life could get so bad. The weird thing is I have almost no debt and I am making more money than ever. I don't say that to brag, trust me. I'm just saying that I have obtained many of the things I worked so hard to obtain like a high-paying job and financial stability. The kicker is that I worked so hard to have this WITH my now ex gf. I'm sort of left holding the bag. It's a nice bag, but I just don't have any interest in holding it anymore. Papa needs a new bag to paraphrase James Brown may he R.I.P. I often feel like I need to start over and leave my current career behind. I would love to get back into welding and making things with my hands as opposed to my current white-collar job. Right now everyday, it is a disappointment to wake up in the morning. I can't remember the last time I had a fun day or I had something I genuinely was looking forward to. It's scary to think I may have to rebuild from the ground up, but if I do that can be a topic for another thread. Thanks for the great advice.