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Wilxen

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  1. It would depend how well you know them and what the prior relationship, if any is. Regardless communication skills and honesty would be essential for both parties. You should also give consideration to the following. 1) How often will you contact each other, who will contact who, over what medium, etc. Try to keep it realistic, while one of you calling the other every day might be sweet in your mind, it might be overbearing for them (or vice versa). 2) Issues of monogomy. You don't see each other, in many cases there will be temptations. Are you both willing to be monogomous? If neither of you wishes to be, what sort of "allowances" are granted? 3) Is there a long term plan? Do you plan to live in the same city at some point and be a "normal" couple then? What do you ultimately want out of this relationship, and is the distance factor worth fighting against to obtain that with this person? For some people and couples, LDR seems to work perfectly. For others like myself, we can't even really imagine it except in cases of utmost necessity. The key elements I've heard from others all seem to revolve around making absolutely sure you both have the same expectations and are willing to adhere to them (not merely pay lip service).
  2. I've had a problem in pretty much every relationship so far, which is that I keep shooting down what my partner brings up. Sometimes it's just something they are trying to share and not overly important, othertimes it is something they are excited about. It just seems to be my normal response to blurt out obvious statements or suggestions which end up making them feel dumb or like I am unwilling to hear them. I love my current partner dearly, and she knows I am trying to work on this, but my concern is by the time I fix it, if ever, she'll already be too afraid to share things with me. Does anyone have advice as to how I can more quickly improve this? I do value what they have to say, but I seem to not respond in ways which encourage more sharing.
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