Deviant_Kate
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Everything posted by Deviant_Kate
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Never say never. Sex, when it's right (and sometimes even when it isn't), is great, and I hope you don't cut yourself off from the possibility. I wish all teenagers were smart enough to be abstinant, but if you're a healthy happy adult, there's no reason to deny yourself the pleasure, and in a good relationship, sex adds to the intimacy and the emotional connection. Don't ever have sex if you don't want to, but if you find yourself wanting to, remind yourself that it's healthy, it's normal, and it's fun!
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I'm hoping that in Key West next winter, we can find a secluded enough beach and I can get her off in the shallows without worrying about getting caught.
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Golden is definitely the word I'd use. I don't think you've got anything to worry about - he's got "perfect for you" written all over him. Go at whatever speed feels comfortable for the two of you - I'm sure things will work out.
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After coming out....
Deviant_Kate replied to adoracion's topic in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
They're great. They were upset that I didn't let them know my birthday was coming up, because they felt terrible for not getting me anything. They treat me better than my own family does - Which is not to say that my family has a problem with me having a girlfriend. My family doesn't seem to care that I'm with a girl, and they all seem to adore my girlfriend. They're just treat me terribly in most other aspects -
Dealing with Christians
Deviant_Kate replied to pianoguy's topic in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
I'm not going to read through seven pages of replies before posting. I don't have the time. I'm careful about who I come out to about my sexual orientation and about my religious beliefs. I typically don't steer any conversation in either of the two directions. If I find out a person that I typically enjoy spending time with is Christian, I typically don't care. I don't explain my beliefs and I don't ask them to defend theirs. I accept and respect them for who they are. I even have one friend who votes republican . But if I find out a person that I typically enjoy spending time with supports the federal marriage amendment or any similar amendments, you will not catch me with that person again if I can help it. I don't have the time or energy to spend my days convincing people that I have the right to be treated fairly, and I will NOT pretend that I'm okay with someone holding the belief that homosexuals aren't worthy of equal treatment. It seems so GLARINGLY obvious to me that sexual orientation should have NO BEARING WHATSOEVER on how our country treats its citizens, or how our citizens treat each other for that matter. The federal marriage amendment is no better than the laws that prohibited interracial marriage a few decades ago. Marriage should either be extended to ALL adult Americans, or to NONE. Fair is fair. And the FMA is NOT fair. -
After coming out....
Deviant_Kate replied to adoracion's topic in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
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First off, don't let someone tell you that your gay friend is going through a phase. It's demeaning to every gay person out there. Second, if you watch gay porn and it turns you on, that does NOT mean you're gay. In fact, nothing turns me on LESS than lesbian porn, even though I'm attracted to women. So pornography is not any kind of reliable measure of sexual orientation, especially not at fifteen. Just like your friend knows himself and knows that he is gay, nobody knows YOU better than YOU, so trust yourself. Remember, the reason the first encounter happened at all is because you got hard talking about a girl. MAYBE you're bisexual, MAYBE you're curious, but don't let anyone else decide what you are. Now, onto the issue at hand - your friend is being very disrespectful by making repeated advances when you've told him it makes you uncomfortable. You should let him know that he's your best friend and you don't want to hurt his feelings, but you're not attracted to him. Of course, if you ARE attracted to him (and there's nothing wrong with that), you can let him know that the whole situation makes you uncomfortable and you'd prefer he drop it for know while you figure things out. He's your best friend, and you need him to respect your feelings, regardless of what they are. And if you find yourself tempted by his offer, I simply suggest examining what kinds of feelings you may have for him, and figuring out what kinds of consequences, good or bad, this might have on your relationship as friends.
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If you've been dating for 5 months, it shouldn't be any problem to ask him if he's been tested or to ask him to get tested. Just tell him you wouldn't be comfortable becoming sexual with him otherwise. You could even toss in that whole "I love oral" part when you ask him to get tested- that should be incentive enough to get him to a clinic.
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A marriage without sex, is it divorce time?
Deviant_Kate replied to cranbers's topic in Sex and Romance
Do you really think a 2 year old should be exposed to the kind of arguments you've described having with your wife? If I were in your situation, I would leave her and file for custody of your son. Maybe the prospect of losing her family would get her to go on meds and stop puking her life away. You and your son can't possibly lead happy lives with that woman, and it has nothing to do with sex. I say get out. I can't believe she's kept you from seeing your family the whole time you've been married. You should never have let her take total control of your life. Stand up for yourself and your little boy! And remember that sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better - whether it's counselling or custody battles, it's going to be hard, but it will never get better if you allow things to keep going on as they have been. -
The pee taste was *probably* because the girl hadn't washed recently enough. I promise not all women taste like that, and if you're still scared, go ahead and try the minty fresh suggestions of other posters - sounds like some decent advice.
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seeking input on masturbation and relationships
Deviant_Kate replied to shelbymustang_fan's topic in Sex and Romance
It is a little odd that she's so unfamiliar with her own body, but beyond giving her time and encouragement to explore herself and her sexuality, I'd say don't worry about it. Maybe you should suggest she do some reading about female anatomy - from an actual BOOK, not just whatever she can find on the internet unless it's a medical website. "What Your Mother Never Told You About S-E-X" by Dr. Hilda Hutcherson is pretty good. It's full of good information. -
Generally 2-5 times per week, thanks to her stupid job. Back when she was still a student, it was more like 6-12 times per week...*sigh* As far as sexless marriages go, married people actually ON AVERAGE have more sex than un-married people as a whole, and married women are more likely than other groups of women to consistently have an orgasm (Human Sexuality: Diversity in Contemporary America, 5th Ed. Strong et al. 2005).
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She needs to head to a doc. It could be just about anything, and if it's painful to the point where you have to stop in the middle of sex, she DEFINITELY needs to go to the doctor. There's a good chance she just needs antibiotics, but you shouldn't take any chances.
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You just made my day! I wish I could adequately express the laughter you have inspired.
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I love the warm orange glow of a fire, but twinkle lights are pretty appealing too.
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Until recently, in several states, all homosexual acts were illegal. Homosexual acts can't produce messed up kids, so why were they illegal? Many MANY laws are based on society's idea of what is right and wrong. They have little to do with producing healthy children. If it were illegal to have sex with someone because of the possibility of creating a child with birth defects, it would be illegal to have sex with any fertile person, because ANYONE can have children with birth defects. Nobody with a genetic disorder would be allowed to have children and mentally retarded people would still be routinely sterilized. There's a fine line between what is "morally right" and what is a terrible restriction on personal freedoms. And I'm not the one to decide which side of the line incest falls on.
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The biggest reason incest has become so taboo is because it can mess up family heirarchies - confuse boundaries and cause sexual rivalries between family members. That was the reason so many ancient civilizations started frowning on incest. I learned all about it last semester. The whole "mutant babies" thing is just to scare people. The reason incest eventually causes birth defects is because family members tend to have the same recessive genes, and if you mix the same genes over and over, you've got a decent sized chance that a harmful recessive gene will rear its ugly head. It's honestly pretty common for children of incest to be physically healthy. I'm not advocating incest, but I'm not going to demonize it either. It certainly blurs some boundaries and makes me uncomfortable, but it isn't the heinous monster-producing act that people think it is. [Edit: forgive me if I've already posted this. I can't remember if I have or not.]
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Planned Parenthood won't let anybody else in the room for some reason or another, but I know that at least SOME other gynos will allow a friend or partner to come in with her. I had to get a gynocological exam when I was 4 (long story) and it traumatized me and made me absolutely TERRIFIED to go, so my girlfriend called around to find a gyno that would allow me to go in with her (on some serious anti-anxiety pills) so I'll know what to expect. Obviously I can't guarantee you'll find one that will allow that, but it's possible.
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Well, I guess if confidence is a turn-on, then insecurity is probably a bit of a turn-off. And if someone is physically attracted to you, doesn't it stand to reason that they would enjoy looking at you, especially during an act that was inspired by that physical attraction? Just let go and enjoy yourself. And take it as a compliment that he wants the lights on. A random thought . o O (A rope light or a string of clear christmas lights around the bedroom creates a really nice ambiance and allows you to see everything without being under harsh lighting or risking a fire from candles...)
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Well, after a while you realize you can still have the kids, the car, and the mortgage, just with some great girl instead. I feel like life is going to be a little more difficult than it would be if I was straight (although I'm sure straight couples have their own bag of problems), because I have to be discreet about my sexuality around people I don't know that well because I don't know how they'll react. But as for my home life - it IS normal, or at least it feels normal to me. We cook, we clean, we go out to dinner, we walk the dog, we feed the cat, we go grocery shopping, we watch movies, we send a holiday card to our property manager, we hang out with our friends, we go to work, we go to school...All very normal things. So you might get some weird looks if you're holding hands at the grocery store - that doesn't mean you can't have the life you've always wanted. Just...with a woman. And in my experience, between men and women, women are better in bed .
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Believe me, there's nothing you could tell me about cunnilingus that I don't already know. I've given and received it many a time.
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How funny that I would see this post on a day where I got some morning sex! I agree with everybody else - morning sex is a great way to start the day. I had my last two finals today, so it was GREAT to have the day start out so well. Morning sex might be my favorite sex. It's so warm and...I don't know...almost primal - we don't speak a word, we just know exactly what to do. Granted, there's no open mouth kissing, but it's no big deal. Morning sex is fantastic.
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What is the wierdest place you've ever had sex?
Deviant_Kate replied to SweetJane's topic in Sex and Romance
In my girlfriend's mom's car, in my girlfriend's parents' driveway. -
Routine infant circumcision is mutilation and abuse. Whether or not a boy keeps his foreskin should be HIS decision.
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How can you even KNOW someone in five days, let alone love them? I know your feelings were really intense, but you're fifteen years old. I went through the same thing, and I promise you're going to hit an age where you realize you never really knew her and all this energy you're using up pining over her isn't worth it. I don't mean to sound condescending, but you and the 16 year old who responded to your post with "love doesn't take years!" are both still just kids. You guys don't even know how to spell yet. You're definitely not old enough for serious relationships, and you're not old enough to understand what real love is. Real love is when you know everything about someone and you still want to wake up next to them every morning. If you've been together for years and you still want to know how her day was, and you send her flowers at work when she's having a bad day, when you do the dishes even though you HATE doing dishes, because a clean kitchen makes her happy. Love is all the little things you do for each other. She leaves for work before I even wake up in the morning, and she always pulls the blankets up over me and kisses me goodbye. THAT is love.