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Deviant_Kate

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  1. Deviant_Kate
    I just wanted to reassure you that your risk of cervical cancer right now is EXTREMELY low. Basically, you can't get cervical cancer if you aren't having intercourse - That's why devout nuns NEVER get it. My doctor reassured me at my last visit that I don't really need to worry about it since I don't have sex with men.
  2. Deviant_Kate
    My girlfriend didn't tell her parents about us (or about her sexuality) until we had been together 5-6 months. She let her non-work friends know right away, and wanted to show me off, but she didn't know how to tell her parents and she didn't want her crazy republican boss to find out. It didn't bug me. It gave her parents time to get to know me without knowing that I was having sex with their baby girl, and it gave her time to get used to the idea of being gay. She'd always suspected that she was bisexual, but she didn't KNOW until we got together. I'm her first (and hopefully last/only) girlfriend. Her folks took it really well. They love me and they take me out for dinner for my birthday and they get me Christmas presents and everything. They're fantastic parents.
  3. Deviant_Kate
    I considered it until I saw the "and refused to introduce you to their friends" part. I wouldn't mind if she didn't want to tell her parents or coworkers, but to be kept secret even from the friends is the same as being told "I'm ashamed of myself and of you. Deal with it."
  4. Deviant_Kate
    Female, and I guess a combination of C. and D. It's not for me, but I do understand it. It's like the Red Hot Chili Peppers lyric "I like pleasure spiked with pain. . ." I enjoy biting and scratching, so spanking doesn't seem very "out there" to me.
  5. Deviant_Kate
    I haven't read the other comments, so this might be repetetive. I just wanted to suggest you both go to couples counselling. I don't think her low sex drive has anything to do with how much she cares about you. I think it's a personal problem she has. Maybe look into a sex therapist. She could have a chemical imbalance that affects her libido, or maybe something to do with how she was raised makes her feel like sex is dirty and bad...I definitely recommend couples counselling with a sex therapist. Even if you have a completely normal libido, you need to be just as involved as she is or she's going to feel defensive. Anyway, you're a couple - you're in this together. Maybe you could both give a little and come up with a plan you're both happy with.
  6. Deviant_Kate
    The thought of sex with a stranger makes me feel a little sick...but I guess it depends on the people... I think sex would be pretty disgusting if it was with a disgusting person...like a toothless hooker with genital warts or a 600 lb. hairy guy who doesn't shower...
  7. Deviant_Kate
    Paul Cameron has been kicked out of the American Psychological Association AND the American Sociological Association for his fraudulent research practices. He's a NUT who's been devoting his life to making up crap about homosexuality and paying $27.50 per page to get it published in a bogus journal that is NOT peer reviewed. Then the religious wackos quote him, because he still has "Dr." out in front of his name, and people actually BELIEVE his garbage.
  8. Deviant_Kate
    While I love the boobs, and I'm generally pulled in by the face, if I'm going to discreetly stare at a body part, it would be the butt.
  9. Deviant_Kate
    Women are crazy. That's all I can come up with. We're raised that way. We're taught to act that way and think that way. It's a rare and special person who can look beyond the things they're raised to believe and see things from a more equal-minded, mature point of view.
  10. Deviant_Kate
    If she catches you looking at her as often as it seems she does, maybe when the semester is over, She'll ask YOU out for coffee. Maybe you should try some very light conversation with her on the way out of class once in a while (just a witty quip now and then) and you guys can develop enough of a friendship that it wouldn't be absolutely terrifying to see if she wants to go to lunch after the final. What could it hurt?
  11. Deviant_Kate
    It was almost two years from when I started having sex until someone actually gave me an orgasm.
  12. Deviant_Kate
    Not to be a copycat, but I wanted to tell you that it sounds like you're being WONDERFUL to this girl - exactly the kind of boyfriend she needs to show her that sex is NOT what she thinks it is. I don't know if she'd be open to therapy, and I know it's expensive, but maybe you guys could find a local support groups for victims of sexual abuse/assault, and maybe even a group that allows partners of the abused to attend as well. It could be really good for the both of you. When you're in love with a victim of sexual abuse, you become the second victim in the situation, 'cause there's no way you can love her and NOT be affected by what happened to her. My girlfriend can tell you that much She's spent about as much time crying over what happened to me as I have. As I got more comfortable in our relationship, I got more comfortable with sex. All I really needed was support and time. I hope you and your girlfriend turn out to be so lucky.
  13. Deviant_Kate
    A friend of mine can ONLY orgasm with a vibrator, even when she's masturbating. It's just a lot harder for some girls to get off than others. I've known girls who NEVER orgasm. I guess if I were you, I'd keep trying new things just in case, but I'd try not to take it personally if the vibrator is the only path to orgasm.
  14. Deviant_Kate
    Be careful about earlobes, actually. It drives some girls crazy (I love it), but others HATE it! Keep an eye and an ear out for her reactions.
  15. Deviant_Kate
    Same here. I prefer the orgasms from penetration to the kind I have with only clitoral stimulation. But it was probably a year or so into my relationship that I started having orgasms from penetration - it used to be impossible for me to have an orgasm through penetration. Maybe it just takes practice or a certain comfort level, or maybe it's just because her fingers can curl in a way a penis can't...I don't know.
  16. Deviant_Kate
    I've never seen a 17 year old guy say something so mature. I'm impressed, Element.
  17. Deviant_Kate
    I'm sure once you get used to having her lean on your or hold your hand, it'll stop triggering erections. I don't have a penis, but I know that in the beginning of my relationship, just being near my S.O. was enough to turn me on. I think it's pretty normal.
  18. Deviant_Kate
    I'm twenty three, and the thought of giving some stranger access to my vagina makes me shudder. I have ONE friend who doesn't seem to have a problem with it, but my particular circle of friends is fairly discerning. Your wife's behavior is pretty out there in comparison to the women I know, but that's just one group of women.
  19. Deviant_Kate
    Fantasies? I like losing myself in memories of past sexual encounters, and one thing that really gets me is fantasizing about my "partner" pressing me up against a wall and kissing me - assertive, but not aggressive.
  20. Deviant_Kate
    It REALLY sucks that you guys can't talk on the phone (my girlfriend and I always talk for about 20-40 minutes before bed when we have to spend nights apart, and it would be terribly sad if we couldn't...), but hopefully you guys will be able to use your phones in a night or two. When she's gone for longer periods...I study a lot, I spend time catching up with old friends...do you have a best friend you can hang out with all the time for the next few weeks? Find some fun stuff to do so you have less time to sit around and miss him. And if you can, you should sleep with a t-shirt or pillow that smells like him. It helps.
  21. Deviant_Kate
    I'm not surprised, since we're supposed to be pretty geared toward reproduction as far as evolution is concerned, but what sex I was attracted to never had anything to do with what part of my hormonal cycle I was at. I'm more likely to want to have sex at that time, but not specifically with a sperm-bearing person.
  22. Deviant_Kate
    Barring the use of date-rape drugs, here's my opinion: She chose to get drunk. He chose to take advantage of it. Both are at fault.
  23. Deviant_Kate
    We grow up learning to be ashamed of that part of our body - she probably thinks it's ugly because nobody has ever told her otherwise.
  24. Deviant_Kate
    That's what I was going to say! Sex is ranked differently in importance to each person and each couple.
  25. Deviant_Kate
    For the record, cross dressers are straight more often than gay.
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