Deviant_Kate

I was listening to my iPod at work today and that John Mayer song came on - Your Body is a Wonderland. It made me think of my advice on this one, and I thought I'd suggest also playing music - maybe make a mix CD with lovey/sexy songs on it, songs that were playing during significant moments in your relationship, songs that played during romantic scenes in movies you've watched together. Whatever Happy anniversary!

A very GOOD suggestion.

My guess? Lines = labia

That makes sense - salicylic acid is the active ingredient in acne fighting face washes.

Stolenshadow is right - premature ejaculation is usually related to LOTS of masturbation and sexual inexperience, not masturbating too infrequently. It could have to do with any number of things - it could be mental, it could be hormones, it could be the girl, it could be nerves. It might just be a lack of control.

I'm not left handed, and I don't know any other bi/homosexual people who are.

I wouldn't say INSTANTLY - you'd have to see someone write to know. Your classmate must have written an awesome thesis. It's too bad my subscription is so new. I thought about submitting a research paper on gay marriage, but I'm not sure they'd publish anything so bookish.

Online dating can go either way. You're going to get people that have been totally SCREWED by dating someone they met online, and you're going to find people who married someone they met online. All you can really do is weigh the pros and cons and decide for yourself. I understand not wanting to come out til you're sure. Maybe self-examination would help too? Are you just sick of men, or are you honestly not attracted to them? If you mentally walk through the process of having sex with a woman, are you excited, disgusted, aroused? If you fantasize when you masturbate, what gender do you fantasize about? If you can answer all these questions for yourself, you'll have a better idea of how serious you are about liking women. Every person's journey is different, but the internet is a fantastic tool that past generations didn't have. We can do searches and find all sorts of information on sexuality, we can join forums for support and advice, and we can connect with people who are halfway around the world. Just remember that the internet DOES span the globe and it won't be the easiest thing in the world to find a girl you can fall for who's close enough for a real, hands-on, face-to-face relationship. You might also want to do a search for LGBT resources in your area, LGBT groups and hang-outs, chat rooms for local LGBT youth, etcetera. Best of luck!

You can make the sex special without being kinky. Everything you have planned so far sounds very romantic, and "kinky" just doesn't say romance to me. Maybe plan to have the room full of candles (check in early, and set them up so you can light them quickly when you get there after dinner) and take the sex really slow - maybe give her a massage, make her feel like you worship her body - pay attention to every inch of her. Make sure she feels totally loved, and caress/nibble/kiss her all over until she's all but begging for sex. Hmm...giving myself ideas. I think my significant other will be getting a nice surprise tonight...

For the record, most doctors won't give an IUD (copper or mirena) to an 18 year old girl with no children. The pill or patch is probably your best bet as far as using something you don't have to insert every time you have sex. Spermicides can be already on the condom or you can buy them separately, but it is easier to just use a spermicidal condom. Nonoxynol-9 (the active ingredient in spermicide) can cause irritation of the vagina (especially if you use it more than 1-2 times in 24 hours), so just talk to your girlfriend about it so she knows that if she experiences some abnormal pain or burning, she can talk to you and/or her doc about it. Someone else said you two should go to Planned Parenthood together - EXCELLENT idea. They can let you know all about different kinds of birth control and their effectiveness, they usually have free condoms, she can get exams for little to no cost, and it's all confidential. Just Google them or check the phone book to find one in your area.

It very much depends on the girl. The G-spot is a tricky thing. In the beginning of my current relationship, no sex partner had EVER given me an orgasm. Even after my girlfriend was able to, there were only certain ways and certain positions that did it for me. Now, after 2+ years, she can make me come any which way, as many times as she wants, and within 10 seconds of penetration if she feels like it. Back to the actual topic - I suggest recommending that she try masturbating to orgasm - if she doesn't know if she's had one with you, she's probably never had one. If she learns how to have one by herself, she'll learn how to focus on the sensations and how to hold on to them, and she might be able to give you a few tips on how to help her out. Good luck to you both!

In case you need to hear it again, there's nothing wrong with you. Y'know how when you're on a rollercoaster or (insert exhilirating but scary ride) and all your muscles tense up? If you relax, things should work out. I don't really understand why your boyfriend doesn't want to use lube. Maybe he's afraid that too much lube will kill the friction, or maybe he just feels like he's not man enough if he can't get you wet without help. Talk to him about it - explain that EVERYBODY uses lube, and when you're nervous about sex, it's hard for your body to produce enough of its own lubricant, and how there's nothing shameful about it. I hear that Astroglide is the best lube out there. Give it a shot - just make sure you pick a lubricant that's water soluble (sp?) so it won't break down the condoms - which you should both just have on hand as a "just in case" type of thing. And definitely consider going on the pill if you haven't already thought about it. Talk to your doctor about it, learn the dangers involved and whatnot. One of the keys to good sex is EDUCATION! I took a human sexuality course in college, and it was the BEST class I ever took.

Coming out can be terrifying, and it's unfortunately something that's never really finished, because you meet new people all the time. You have to really trust someone to tell them, and even then it takes courage. You should be proud of yourself for mustering the courage to tell your friend. As for the more conservative friends back home - you don't have to rush into telling them. Spend some time with them, get back in the swing of things, and remember that there's no law saying you MUST be out to all your friends. You get to decide who knows and who doesn't. My long-time friends all know, but most of my friends from college don't, and my work friends don't. I've told most of my dad's side of the family, but not my mom's. My grandma knows, but my uncle (her son) does not. I get to pick and choose. Honestly, not everyone NEEDS to know. You get to pick your own in-crowd (or out in-crowd? In on being out crowd? Out to the in-crowd?). It's your life.

You absolutely have to retract the foreskin to put the condom on. I know that without a condom, the foreskin wouldn't stay retracted, but I'm not sure how it works with a condom. Definitely do as some others have said - practice putting condoms on ahead of time - and maybe the best way to answer your question about your foreskin is to try masturbating with a condom on just to see what happens.

Don't you enjoy making out and fooling around? Why wouldn't he? Genital to genital contact is not the only way to derive sexual pleasure, and whether or not pleasure culminates in an orgasm, it still feels good. That's why it's called pleasure.

I KNEW I liked you!

Even athiests can get married, so marriage, while it might be rooted in religion, is very much a legal issue in todays society, not a religious one. Like I said, I don't think churches should have to perform same-sex marriages if they're religiously opposed to it, but legal marriage should be available to all adults, gay or straight.

To actually somewhat answer the intended question, I had to do a ton of research into why people oppose same-sex marriage, so I've got some websites I can give you. It's still crap reasoning if you ask me. This one is strictly anti-gay. It's excerpts from Dr. James Dobson's book "Marriage Under Fire: Why We Must Win This Battle" - link removed This one is by Scott Bidstrup, who is pro-gay marriage, but he goes into reasons why people are opposed - link removed And this one is kind of funny and sarcastic, making fun of the reasons people give for banning gay marriage - link removed Enjoy!

I think civil unions are crap - saying that gay people aren't REAL people, so they don't deserve a real marriage. Legalizing same-sex marriage should have absolutely nothing to do with religion because of the whole separation of church and state thing. Churches shouldn't have to perform any marriage that their religion teaches them is wrong, but government entities SHOULD have to treat everyone equally. Sorry if I come off as angry, but I'm incredibly passionate about this issue, as I am anytime someone tries to tell me that I don't deserve the same civil rights as everyone else. It really ticks me off that my idiotic irresponsible shallow siblings who only make bad choices are allowed to get married, and I (the only GROWN-UP adult of all my parents' children) am not. In some states, a 12 year old girl or a 14 year old boy can marry any opposite-sex person if they have their parents' consent. If CHILDREN can get married, why cant homosexuals?

Society teaches men that beautiful women are symbols of power, and power is what men are taught makes them manly. Women are groomed to seek security, so they go for wealthier guys, and guys that will stick around and help them raise babies. Obviously a generalization, but so is saying that men care about looks. Unfortunately, we're socialized to think of some things as attractive and other things as not, and we're taught that being with an unattractive person is something to be laughed at or pitied for. It's just the way our society is. To echo some other responses, a lot of women are looking for "hot" guys too. Men aren't the only shallow, visual creatures. The media kind of screws the less fortunate looking members of society by raising everybody's expectations. What girl didn't grow up reading TeenBeat magazine and being taught what kind of boy to want, and what guy didn't get his hands on a Playboy and get it in their head that those are the kind of women you want to be with? That said, physical attraction isn't everything, but it IS the thing that gets you interested in a person - you spot them from accross the room BECAUSE they're attractive, and that's what makes you want to meet them. It's not that you can't be attracted to the plain girl in the corner - she just didn't catch your attention, so the two of you never met.

I was thinking the same thing. It's not exactly the advice you were looking for, but it's healthier to pee after sex just to make sure you flush out any bacteria that could cause a UTI and whatnot. I'm not sure if it's the same for guys, but I don't see why it wouldn't be. As for the staying up til the wee hours in the computer room - talk to him about it, tell him it hurts your feelings, and tell him that the best gift he could give you is to be with you after sex - to make you feel important and loved and cherished.

Since you can't just ask people you meet "hey, are you a lesbian?" there's a good chance you've met more lesbians than you think and you just don't know it. Nobody meets me and thinks "hey, she's a lesbian!", because I don't wear flannel, I don't have a mullet or a shaved head, I'm not covered in rainbows, I don't wear men's clothing, I don't drive a truck or a motorcycle, etc. I've actually developed a distaste for the word lesbian because of the stereotype that's developed of what a lesbian is. I wear pink, I won't leave my apartment without eyeliner on, I hate it when my nails break, I have a bathroom stocked with Bath & Bodyworks products, and I hate getting dirty. Society is more likely to accept me if I say that I'm bisexual, but the fact is that I'm only truly sexually attracted to women, so I'm running out of adjectives. What you look like is NOT who you are. Just because the rest of the world wants you to have a convenient label so they can stuff you into one category or another doesn't mean that you have to make it any easier for them. Men don't have the monopoly on loving women, and you don't have to look like one of them to do so. If you had to look a certain way to be gay, we'd have come up with a uniform by now. Just be yourself.

My favorite thing/memory...(to give a little background, I'm female and in a same-sex relationship)...is when we find a way to be face-to-face and making out during sex - Once I accidentally bit her lip (not hard) when I started to come, and it was so incredibly hot that the memory is forever burned into my brain... Sometimes it's hard to believe that people can survive for months and years without sex. It's been 9 days and I'm going insane.

I love that every once in a while, sex is so beautiful that one or both people orgasm with tears in their eyes.