OhJeeeez

First off, thanks Day_Walker, that made complete sense. Muneca: I don't know if she has issues about commitment. SHe told me that she doesnt want to be alone anymore and she wants to be in love. Shes even told me that she loves me. We've talked about the loosing independance thing too, she knows I wouldnt do that, at least I hope, i've told her that. Thanks to both of you for your adivce. I've tried to move on before, but she just wants me even more at that point, till we get back to where we are now. Totally driving me nutts, I'd marry this girl if she'd get her act together.

I have to understand something about the way women think, its totally driving me nutts. Hope someone can straighten this out for me. Ok, so you have this girl, totally stressed out in every part of her life right? No way she has time for a relationship. But she starts one anyways. Things go great for a while, almost too great and then she starts backing off because the stress of her life is too much. What's easier than getting rid of the new relationship? Ok, so here is where my question comes in. This girl has 3 kids, she's a single mom and really takes care of herself financially. She's not rich, but she's not poor. So in comes this guy, they hit it off so well that they get close. Close enough where she knows the guy is willing to take on all the responsibilities and emotional drains in her life. A guy that can step up and help make things easier. Most guys wouldn't take on 3 kids let alone want to be with someone with such a busy life. But this guy is one that doesn't require loads of attention. Just spending time with her and her kids is wonderful. So what makes a woman want to get rid of something because of the stress in her life, when that something can totally help relieve 50% of it? Is this some sort of secret women independence thing? It totally sucks.

I think you may be over reacting. You're not there, so you have no way of knowing whats going on. From what you've explained, sounds like two friend going to have fun at a football game. I mean come on, if they weren't just friends, you really think they would bring his aunt and uncle along? I wouldn't. Even the fact that she is telling you about it means she isn't hiding anything from you. Unless she is sick and twisted and she likes to rub it in your face? But you would know her enough to be sure that she isnt I bet. Chill out man, dont worry about it right now. Worry about it when you get down there and all she wants to do is spend time with him and not you.

Well first off, no one can make this desicion but you. But, if I were in that situation, what I would do is right down all the pro's and con's of getting back together with him. Don't think about it, write it down. Then read it over and over. You will find the answer right in front of you. This does take some deep thought though. And don't hold back, you are the only one reading it. Try that out and see if it helps. My opinion, move on, he hurt you inthe past, he may hurt you again. The other guy deserves a chance if you think there is something there worth trying. Robb x

Don't know if he will be upset, but its better not to lie. Lieing just leads to more lies. He's going to find out. He'd rather hear it now than later...

My suggestion, read it out loud, as if you were reading it to him, and then burn it. That would be closure to me.

Ok, I just went through this and made the decision to walk away, just about 4 hours ago. Let me first say, I am crazy in love with this girl, much like you are yours. But he pain of not knowing was just too great. How can you sit there and wait, while the love of your life is confused? It hurts, doesnt it? Well this is what I did, I told her that I loved her, that I wanted to be with her, but I wanted her to be totally concentrating on me. If she chose to break us off, then I'll get over it. But, that I needed space and no contact until she did. THIS was very hard for me to understand. But right now is definatly not the time to be needy by staying in contact. I suggest just telling her flat out how you feel about her and then back off and let her make the decision. If she wants you, she'll come back when her minds made up. If she doesnt, at least you said what you wanted and you have closure. So far this is working for me, I even decided to take a little road trip to the coast to get my mind off it all. Hope I helped a bit, I sure know that I feel better.

Did you just recently send him a picture? Guys are like that you know..

Whats with these men?? lol I love the taste. If you have friends old enough to get into sex shops, they make different flavors of stuff that you can put down there. Spice it up already!! ;p

You know, guys point of view here?? lol All you would have to say to me is "Get down there and lick my &^$*% you bad boy!!" I'd jump at the chance. But hey, thats me? lol My suggestion, is if you are not bold enough to say something like that to him just yet. Wait till he is on top, kissing you and then grab his shoulders and start pushing him down there. If he wants to do it, he'll be like RIGHT ON!.....serious

We are in Idaho, he is in the "Navy". That should explain it? haha No oceans over here for him to be stationed at.

I have so many issues going on in my life, a girl that loves someone else buts trying to get over him, keeps me in the balance until she does. I had major finacial problems that I am just now pulling myself out of. I have this one issue thats been hanging over my head. I'm not sure if this forum is the right place, but everyone here has been so nice and helpful, maybe someone can give me some good insight to this. First thing I want to explain, is that I am an awesome dad. I have a 4 year old son and a 9 year old daughter (not mine, but I've been her father for 6 years. I love my kids and would do anything in the world for them. Now when I split from thier mom almost a year ago, she was staying with 10 people in a 3 bedroom home (3 different familes). So I took her to court to get temporary custody of them till she got back on her feet. Things were very, very crazy between us. She denied me seeing my daughter, because she could, it was just hairy. So in desperation, she just married this guy that doesnt even live here, he lives about 8 hours away. This was in January. She turned her life around so quick when this happened and now the kids are doing just fine in thier own home. The problem is, this guy is in the Navy and is stationed away from here. He is getting ready to be transfered to California and she has been asking me for months to move her and the kids there. I feel very torn in this situation. The subject hasnt come up in months, but I feel as though she is going to make my life miserable until she gets her way. This woman hurt me worse than anyone ever has, she cheated on me twice. I dont care about her, I just want my kids to be happy. But on the other hand, I don't feel I can be happy with her around. My daughters real father is such a dead beat, he wouldnt care if she left with her. I actually want her to go, so I can get on with my life. I think I will still get to see the kids often enough, but I dont know. I am so confused. Does me wanting her to move make me a bad father?

My first kiss was when I was 9, then the french when I was 13 or 14, cant remember.

ditto ScorpGrl72... See? I knew you were sweet?? lol

Are you seriously 16 years old? You sure as heck don't act like it. As a matter of fact, there goes your point proven. I bet know one would know that you have this grand outlook on life just by looking at you, because you look like a kid. If I blocked your age out to the left and just read what you wrote, I'd think you were my age. hahaha

You know, there is the other thing about this forum too. You see someone for who they really are. I am sure there is some lies on this board, people looking for attention and whatnot, but I believe most are very very sincere.

I was just sitting here thinking, (ut oh) that alot of us on here are lonely, trying to get over someone, trying make things work out with the one we are with now or wondering where all the good women and men are. I don't know if you have noticed like I have, but me being a man, I've noticed that alot of women on here are the kind of women that I'd like to be in a relationship with. Most are so open and friendly and care about the person genuinely. Sometimes when I am reading womens posts, I wish I was the dumbass on the other end and show these women what a real man is about (not in that way you dirty minded people), lol. Just wondering if anyone else has ever noticed the same thing?

I'd say that you should at least stop by and leave him something, a surprise. Do it while he is sleeping and leave it on his door step. That way you can show that you aren't upset, that you are giving him his space and that even though you can't spend his b-day with him, you still care. I wouldn't be hurt at all. If the girl Im dating didn't know if she would be able to spend it with me and I got the impression that she wouldnt, Id make other plans. Even though could now make it, he tried to change them, "FOR YOU". You need to take that as a hint and not be upset. On another note, you sound like a very, very sweet girlfriend.

Man, I wish the girl I am dating would read this thread. She has an ex that she was in love with at one time that won't leave her alone. This messes things up for us because she can't fully move on till he leaves her alone.

From the sound of it, you may want to talk to her about becoming exclusive then. Heck, if you are both in love, that answer should be right in fornt of both of you.

You are insecure about yourself or you have low self esteem. A bit of jealousy is always a good thing in a relationship. It makes the other know that you are protective, you want to be with them and that they are something not worth loosing. But on the bad side, too much jealousy can cause a person to flee away. Thinking that you are controlling and possesive. When ever I am dating someone, I tell them to date other people. Heck, we both need to be happy to make it work right? If I'm not the best guy for her, she will tell me. But if I am, any other attempts by other guys will just be a waste of thier time. Be confident. There is always the exception that jealousy does flare when there are issues in the relationship though. You just need to learn to control them. Date other women, that always cures jealousy. You never really explained your relationship, so its hard to give you specific advise.

The problem with ceasing all contact is that she works with him and can't get away. He has to talk to her because of her job. Now what? And how long should I wait for the issue to resolve itself? I want to be with girl in 6 months and the same crap still going on...

Been dating this girl for a few months and I knew when we first met that she had just broken up with a guy that she was in love with. But she never really talked about it. She was with this guy for only a 11 months and he was also seeing another woman at the time and she knew about it. Now she has told me that she will get over it, which it will just take time and I am totally for giving her the space she needs. But the problem is, she always wants me around. I went to her house to pick something up last night and go home and ended up staying 4 hours because she didn't want me to leave. How is it that she wants space but never takes it? The other problem is that she works with this guy and he calls her everyday about stupid stuff, just to make sure he is on her mind. Will she ever be able to move on under these circumstances? The guy has stated for the last year that he was leaving the other girl, but never has, even after she broke it off and told him that she was seeing me. I'm not too worried about getting hurt here and I'm not against waiting, but it is really worth it? If I ever fall for this girl, I wouldn't be able to take this guy calling her every day. They aren't friends, these are not friendly conversations. I believe the motive is so he can make sure she is still thinking about him and doesn't get a chance to get over him. BTW, all her friends keep yelling her to tell this other guy to piss off because they know me and know I am a much better guy. Any advice?

Ok, this may sound silly and many may not agree with me, but I think you need to forgive him for what he did to you and move on as friends. The baby makes a whole world of difference in this case. I am a father of a 4 year old son who is my life. I broke up with my girlfriend, she came to me telling me she was pregnant so we tryed to work it out. 3 years later, she cheated on me. It took me a long time to get over what she did to me, but in the end, all it took was forgiveness. I realized that it wasnt my fault and I actually control how much pain I am in. What she did to me was the worst thing anyone has in my entire life. But, she is my mothers son and I had to find a way to get over it, for my sons sake. So I forgave her for what she did and I moved on. People make mistakes, we are only human. That doesn't mean you have to forget and run back to him. Never forget, that, makes you stronger. But forgiving him, lets you move on. Hope I helped you..

God I know that exact feeling. The one where you want to tell the other person how you feel but you know they dont want to hear it. It makes me sick to my stomach too. The sad fact is, you can only hope that he will turn around, you can't count on it. If you want to tell him how you feel and he doesnt want to talk about it, send him and email or a letter. But when you do, be serious about it, don't beg for him back, just tell him how you feel and say that you can only do what you are capbable of. Don't dwell on what he says or what he thinks. But you do need to get your feelings out, even if it is for closure. Being needy about it will probably drive him away farther. I should really take some of my own advise sometimes, lol.