OhJeeeez

Well, I hope it doesnt come to that. But I feel like I am getting closer to her than she is to me. We both want the same things, she's even told thats what she wants, but when the subject even remotely comes up, she starts freaking out. So in turn, it freaks me out, defences start coming up and I back off too far. Like two nights ago, things we amazing, I was on my way over there and she called to tell me to hurry up because she missed me. I teased her all night once I got there, we had some amazing sex, I spent the night. The next day, we went to lunch, the she brought up the subject of being scared, we talked a bit, blah, blah. When I drpped her off, I offered to cook her dinner because she was so wore out. So last night, I made her dinner, we watched a movie and them bam, she practically asked me to go home. I havent heard from her since then. It's actually making me want to just throw in the towel cause this is causing me way to much stress. Life can be so crazy, lol.

I've been needy the majority of my life. When I am with someone, I feel I always need to be with them. I've been dating this one girl for over a month and it seems I just can't get enough of her. I've been staying the night there alot lately. Seems when I dont, I am sort of depressed about it all. We both love cuddling and falling asleep together, but she doesnt want me there all the time Im sure. I find my self going over there and just waiting to see if she gives a hint that she wants me to stay. I also sit by my email all day, just waiting to hear from her. This is all driving me crazy. She is a wonderfull woman, but is too scared right now to commit to even being a girlfriend, even though we already act like we are. We both want to be in love but have both been hurt. How can I stop being so needy before I screw things up. The chemistry between us is absolutly amazing, thats why things have moved so quick. I just don't want to ruin it by wanting too much. All my good friends have either left for Iraq in the last month, or are married and just don't have time to ever hang out. Going to hte bar by myself isn't very fun. I also am staying with relatives, so its hard to go home and just veg.

This reminds me of a poem I wrote once: You are a beautiful soul, changing everybody's life. You are a beautiful woman, stealing gazes all the time. You make the world a brighter place, You touch lives of ones you'll never see, You do it without knowing it, You've touched your friends as well as me. So put that smile back on your face, You deserve to be the happy one, Take yourself to that special place, And just stay there till the day is done. And when you open up your eyes, know that I'll be there for you. To guide you through the darkest times. Cause baby, I love you....

Ok, so Im dating this girl now for over a month. Im starting to realize that this girl is extremely aggressive sexually. Now, I know this is every mans dream and most wish for it, but now that its in front of me, I dont know what to do!!!! She is very, very aggressive, likes the whole domineering, spanking, punishing thing and I've never been that way. But Im starting to like this, heh. Any suggestions or advice from women or men that are experienced with this?

Hey, but we dont look like martians. I would wait till he gets back and see what he says...

Not to be mean, but this is coming from a guy. Is it possible he is just having too much fun? I mean, its only a week? Did you two make plans to contact each other while he was gone at all or did it never come up? I say, give the guy a break, if he was that into you before he left, a week away will only intensify that feeling. I agree with the other poster, don't be so quick to judge.

You know, I had this problem a few times. I was with a girl for 5 years and she was not able to get pregnant anymore (tubes tied). So of course, we never used a condom. After split up, the first time I had sex, I had a very difficult time keeping it hard with a condom on. Some guys need more stimulation than others to keep it hard. Now that I am used to it, its not an issue. Maybe he is having trouble with that?

Expressing my self through poetry is something I've forgotten how to do, this is my first try after a long time. This is my situation... The heart aches, the stomach hurts now, let new in to my heart, thats more than I'll allow. To be in more pain, which almost killed me before, I don't know what to, these feelings gallore. Man did she hurt me, much suffering and pain, cheated and lied, what did she really gain? I lost a son, a wonderfull boy who I love, I see him sometimes, but really nearly enough. She married some guy, just out of spite, a new man with my son? I felt so afright. But the past is the past, nothing I can do, But explain my pain and suffering to you. So I've tryed to move on, not in love anymore. But what do I do with this distrust from before? I met a new girl, who was hurt just like me. Things are so perfect, almost meant to be. But the pain from my hurt, lingers each day. What if she does this, I just cant be this way. She hurts just as much, from relationships past. Can we work together and really make this last? Can we grow together and heal ourselves now, SO many things about her, just make me say, WOW. We are not over our pain, I know it takes time to grow, But how can we stay together, with passion, I dont know. If we slow this down and go very slow, Will it cease to exsist and never grow? We cant give each other, what we really think of, which to both of us, is falling in love. I think we are lonely, and both of us lost, what do we do, to what end, what cost? We both start to fall, then pull our hearts back, commitment and trust is what we both lack. So tell me my friends, what do we do? In the end we dream, to say I love you.....

I just posted up here about things going so fast that it was scary. Both of us have been hurt by others and are dealing with learning to trust each other now. So monday night, we were just talking and I was looking at her. She made a comment that the way I look at her makes her feel I care about her more than I let on. Not knowing what to say, I said, well, I do care about you. Left it at that. Later that night I could tell something was bother her and she said that I scared her. I asked if someone caring about her scares her and she said yeah. After more talk, we were talking about how fast this was all going and she said that she doesnt think we are pushing things though. I didnt think we were either, things have been coming quite natural to us. So here is the problem. Since that night, I talked to her a little in email yesterday, just sending jokes and stuff, she was real busy and didnt reply much. Her son called and asked me to come over to dinner this saturday, I said yeah. I talked to her for two seconds and she had to go. So I call her later that night after class and we spoke for 5 minutes before her mom called and she had to go. SHe called me back an hour later just to say sorry that it took so long and that she was going to bed. She called me the next morning, said she just wanted to say hi, talked 5 minutes if that. Didnt talk to her all day. She called after work apologizing for being so busy. SHe had to go again, another 5 minute call. SHe said she would call me later. So 11:30 tonight, she calls to say sorry again that she didnt call earlier. 5 minutes, and she was off to bed. We are both needy people, and since the beginning, it felt like we talked so much more. I probably wont see her again till saturday now and at this rate, wont talk to her much either. Can anyone speak from experience with this? This were going so well and now all the sudden the super chemistry we had in the beginning seems to be fading away. I want to ask her if anything is wrong, but I dont know if I am just over anylyzing her being busy or if something is really wrong.

That man has feelings for you, been there done that hun. I can say for 100% certainty he does.

Well then I wouldnt even think about it, I would just do research yourself? Look her parents up in the phone book? Just call and ask if shes home?

Hurt is always hard to deal with. I found out my sons mother cheated on me while we were still together. The next relationship I had, the girl still had mixed feelings I didnt know about and cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend. I didnt date for a very long time. But I met a wonderful girl 3 weeks ago who I decide I would give a chance. I can't trust her, but I can't trust anyone with my heart at this point. But, with me learning to trust someone and her giving me a reason to, I think its helping alot. They say time heals all, well so does faith and love.

Or you could do this. Tell your mum about it, get her to call the girls mother and have her ask about her daughter, how shes doing, where shes working. Then you can STALK her. Just kidding. Mothers are funny, if you tell her about it, she may even try to set you two up?

You know, after I decided to really move on, I met a fantastic girl. Even the relationship that we are growing together helps me heal more and more each day.

You know, I feel that way alot. And I've come to realize that its not because I dont have a girlfriend. Heck, I have one. It's more to me that I don't have my personal life working the way I want. Maybe you're in the same boat? Are you happy with yourself? I know Im not and I know that is what causes it. Im slowing getting better..

Well, ok, now that does make it a little more difficult to overcome. But here I go again, the fact is, this is her issue, lol. She obviously knows you aren't the same as those men she works with. Maybe a girl can give a better approach to this than I?

This probably isn't the place to post this, but LOOK OUT!! If it wasnt greasy, well, I'd probably steal it and start rubin it all over her and then....... ok I wont go there... hehe It doesnt bother me, but If its just a kiss and I dont lick it all off, yes, I have to wipe it off because its annoying, lol.

hehe, cause its greasy? I kiss her and it just gets all over my lips too. Shes the one who "needs" it, not me Hers taste good though, so I just lick it all off, haha.

hahahah, what an innocent post, what a change. I personally hate that? But it does taste good? hehe My girlfriend puts in on after brushing her teeth, NO idea why. I just wear it off anyways.

Let me remind you that this is her issue. Men masturbate, its a fact of life. Do you know if she does? There are lots of articles online that may help to explain it to her if she doesnt. Not saying she needs to learn how, just that she needs to learn that its normal. Heck, my girlfriend actually likes to watch (and help), lol. Her issue, help her deal with it.

Are you saying that he is homosexual, dating another man and you are still married????? One thing that scares me, are you two still sexually active?? Hun, this is a bad situation...one you need to get out of, for yourself and your kids...

Well, I dont think you want to stick your foot in your mouth. I would let it go, if she wants to talk, she will. Smile at her if looks at you, act like your ok with the contact. I wouldnt get your hopes up though. You could be setting yourself up for failure. SHe may want to remain friends. By you being everywhere she was, she may have been uncomfortable. Her walking by, may just be her wanting you to know she is still there and is becoming more comfortable around you after the break up. I see this too often after breakups, the one who got thier heart broken dwells on the fact that it could still work and then stops living for themselves but for that day things will finally work again. Go on with your life, you wont regret it.

You know, the majority of us guys like to look at porn. Looking at naked women is a natural thing I believe. They are truly beatiful creatures. You could have hid it from her and been ok, but you sound like you are an honest guy. But the fact remains, you got caught, so what do you do now? One thing you need to remember, this is her issue, not yours. She has the right to be upset about it, but thats it. What I can suggest is that you really get in touch with yourself (mentally, lol) and try to figure out why you have these other urges. You haven't physically cheated, so I think its still salvagable. Once you figure out why you need that, maybe bring it up to her and talk about it in person ( not in email or chat, serious issues should never be discussed like that). Since you two are sexually active, maybe find a way that she can fill those fantasies for you? Adultry labeled pics probably look good, but if you are asking what I think you are, it could very well create distrust between you two even though you have never cheated. Its a natural thing for a man to do, don't beat yourself up. Just talk to her seriously, and explain why you do it and suggest ways for you to stop, if you really want to, thats your choice. She has to live with your desicion. Hope I helped...

Communication is key kiddo

Well, you had to have done something to trigger it at least. Maybe didnt call when you said, or didnt answer your phone? Sometimes people can start to distrust someone simply because it reminds them of someone who actually did break thier trust. If he is asking you out to dinner, he is obviously wanting to try. I say go, talk to him about this whole trust thing. If you would never do anything to break his trust, tell him that and asking what it was that made him not trust you. If he really wants to make it work, he'll talk. Good luck and let us know what happens..