JAKESCHAIN

MAJOR QUESTION ~ Is it common for women in their early thrities to have a hightened sex drive? I can't seem to get enough and my husband doesn't know what to think of me. Am I a freak of nature? What are some intimate options between he and I? What do I do? HELP!!

---------------------------------------------- The advice I hear now is from a small circle of friends at work. I don't believe in divorce, at all. I lived through the wake of my grandparents divorce under similar circumstances and it brought nothing but pain for everyone involved, no matter the age. I have heard of compromises between the couples in these circumstances. Living in separate "wings"....sharing the home with the other man....a warped version of 'threes company'. I sincerely don't believe there are that many people out there who go through this. Or at least are willing to admit it. The support and resources for wives going through this is almost non-existant. A Christian perspective is to get out now, I have a right, but what about love, and fighting to make it work? My husband wants to change. He has never, nor does he choose to be the way he is. It just happens. I have done my research...and that is a fact. I want to remain with him. To see him through his battle. No matter what.

My husband and I celebrated our nine yr anniversary last Thurs. I have known for yrs about his same sex issues and his gay tendencies. I have been told by friends that I should leave him. We have two very young children involved. I have read all the laws, regulations, etc for divorce. But I don't feel it is right for me. I really want to make things work. But I want to honor my kids and myself as well. I have needs too that are not being met. It isn't that he doesn't want to, he just doesn't completely fulfill me~because he doesn't feel as passionately about me as i do him. I AM NOT A FAT COW, I am not unattractive. He just prefers men. How can you compete with that? Will I ever be happy? Am I cheating myself or my kids? I have no hope that I will ever find someone who will treat me right or cherish me. I deserve to have someone feel about me as my husband feels about his lover. PASSION, SOUL MATE, CHERISH, completely in love. Where can I go for resources to help me?

Yes, but we are safe. The gay community calls it playing. For us it is always 'playing safe'. I have been considered by his friends as a 'miracle'. Because I am so accepting. I don't know maybe I just like seeing him happy for a change. So free. Maybe I want to show these outcasts of society what the love of Jesus looks like. So many of them have even been shunned by their churches and ministers. I want to prove to them that not all christians are like that. To be sit apart.

Always ask. Never assume anything. Believe 1/2 of what you see and none of what you hear. I am living a life of a straight woman in a marriage with a gay man. It is not one that I recommend for ANYONE. Be honest to him, and MOSt OF ALL be honest to yourself. You are the one you will have to live with. **just think ~ what if your best friend were in your shoes, what would you tell them?**

I have been married to my DH for nine years. Unlike most I knew about his 'preference' when we were dating--in college. We were young and immature. After less then tem months of dating we were married. I thought I could change him. Or straighten him out. I was wrong. Well, nine years and two kids later, he has found that "one". That man who seems to understand him. That man who shares his struggle and even has an added burden of his own. This new man is HIV positive. He has become a part of our family. I have accepted this man because of what he has done for my husband. Made him confident, free and hopefilled. I want to die. I now feel totally obsolete. I do not feel needed, desired, or special. I feel like that the only reason I exist is for a second income and to tend to the children. I have never felt so alone in all my life. I have never felt so unfullfilled. I do not know what to do.