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Thread: Married best friend stop talking to me because he thinks I told wife about his a

  1. #1
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    Married best friend stop talking to me because he thinks I told wife about his a

    My best friend who is married, has told me about his affairs In details.We talk about any and everything, so he is comfortable telling me these things.I donít agree with his actions, and have told him what he does is wrong and maybe he need professional help. Recently he stopped talking to me. He went on a trip with one of his male friend and a woman that he has been having an affair with. He had only told me about going with the guy, he never mention the female.
    After he got back from his trip I called and text multiple times but he never respond to my text nor call me back. Few weeks later I ran into him, he acted strange and didnít say much. He then later text asking ďwhy did you do it?Ē I was Clueless, so I asked what he was talking about. He accused me of pretending not to know. About a week ago I found out he accidentally exposed a woman in his room to his wife on video call while on his trip. And that the wife then got details about his affair with the woman.
    And confronted him after he got home. All of this I didnít even knew happen.

    But somehow now my friend thinks that I am the person who told on him.

    He is the type of person who sometimes donít take accountability for things but rather look to blame others. I donít think of him as the one who has gotten betrayed, his wife is the betrayed one.

    Whatever my feelings are about his actions, I did not told on him, as messed up of a person that he is for all his cheating he also have good ways and we've been friends for a very long time ,we both have been there for each other in some very tough times. It bothers me that he would think I told on him after He confided those things to me.

    We have a mutual acquaintance who had over heard me talking to him on phone about some of his behavior she later question me about what she heard but I didnít give any info to her.. I sometimes wonder if it could be her that went to his wife.

    As well a few people also know of his affair. But Iím the only person who has spoke up to him in the past and let him know he needs to stop.

    He has now cut communication With me. Itís sad that our friendship is ending this way.

    I want him to know I did not out him. Any advice on how to go about convincing him is appreciated.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    This ď friend ď is a waste of space. No need to convince this type of person.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    You do realize that people will judge you for the company you keep, right? Why would you want to be friends with a creep who cheats on his wife and puts her life at risk with potentially incurable diseases. Get your head screwed on straight and maybe consider higher caliber friends in the future. Talk about good bye and good riddance situation.

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    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Why not ask yourself why you're calling this train wreck a friend? He's an adult whom you can't fix, therefore give him enough rope and he'll hang himself.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Cheaters are selfish people by nature. So it is hard for them to see anyone's perspective but their own.

    I think you are better off without this friend, but that's easy for me to say. I have reached a point in my own life, that I see how true that old adage, you are who you associate with, really is.

    I'd actually be mad, that he didn't believe me. But there again, he is not trustworthy, therefore has no trust. The funny part is, he might really believe it could only be you. But like most liars and cheaters, he thinks he is the smartest person here and that people are not putting two and two together....

    Be glad you're out of this situation.

  7. #6
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    Why do you want to convince this dumpster fire of a person to be your friend again?

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    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    You need new friends...

    Take this as a sign and forget about this lying pile.

    If you are married I wonder what your wife thinks of you being friends with and by association condoning his cheating?

    I think he did you a big favor and I am happy he got busted. Hopefully his wife gets tested for std's and kicks him out.

    Lost

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    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Buttery2
    We have a mutual acquaintance who had over heard me talking to him on phone about some of his behavior she later question me about what she heard but I didnít give any info to her.. I sometimes wonder if it could be her that went to his wife.
    It's also possible that his wife said that you told him rather than reveal her actual source.

    I don't think there's anything you can do about it. And I think you're probably better off.

    Your friend's poor choices have caused collateral damage to many people, including you.

    Why do you want someone like this in your life?

  10. #9
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    Every one is right in that it may serve me best to not have my friend in my life any more. But itís a lot of up and down as far as My emotions while I was shocked and disappointed in his decisions as far as cheating because Iíve never seen him as that person, and Iím upset and hurt about the fact he is blaming me wrong fully.

    The fact is He has been my friend for so many years since we were teens, We talk almost everyday.So itís hard not to miss our friendship
    I think I also want closure he never had a conversation with me about the situation apart from the text. And then cut communication.

    I had to hear from someone else about what happened with his wife and that he thinks itís me who told.

    I feel that once I have a conversation and say how I feel, Iíll be alright.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    You don't "need closure", not from him.

    Closure is...this guy is garbage and no friend to you. So you decide you want better quality friends.

    There's your closure.

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