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abitbroken

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abitbroken last won the day on December 5 2020

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  1. If you expect him to always stay home because you refuse to go out....he's going to go out. Its not even an introverted/extrovert thing. Many couples are very happy with together time, and some apart time. But if you NEVER EVER will go out with him and his family or friends even every so once in awhile, you cannot complain. I think you have no right to punish him - he tried to include you.
  2. The bolded. If the OP was my sister, i would not want to invite her either.
  3. sibling rivalry can extend into adulthood. They could be awful sisters. Or there could be a "it takes two to tango" thing. Maybe you are a jerk to them, too. Or maybe you complain about not being inccluded other times at events you are included on. I really think you should not go over to mom's house and complain about your sisters. Have a relationship with your mom and don't expect her to "make" your sisters do anything. Mom set a boundary. So go over there but stop ragging on your sisters. If your sister is in the other's sisters wedding party and you are not - i get why you were not invited. If they both have 9-12 year old girls and you have a 4 year old boy or you have a 15 year old girl and they have 5-7 year old boys i get why they would not think of inviting you to a vacation. There are two of my siblings who are especially close - their kids are close in age andt hey do things together without always inviting me. Big deal. So control what you can --- and don't bother with what you can't. Also, when you do see them - are you fun to be around? Or do you only rag on them about what they do?
  4. Its doesn't mean you are gay because you come late to the table of having a first crush. Everyone matures in their own time. Do you think the fact that your first crush not being interested makes you doubt yourself a bit (its a numbers game, you are going to have crushes, awkwardly try to show interest and its not going to always land. You could crush on 5-10 different guys before finding someone who feels the same. I really did some awkward things when i had a crush when i was 18/19 when all the other young women already had boyfriends. It was really cringey. No, he didn't return my interest nor do i believe one bit he knew i was interested, either. But other young women were quite cruel about it) Actually, in the end, i found that crushes went nowhere. When i actually did date someone, i was 21 and i really didn't know him before or have this big build up to it because i had a crush.
  5. If he said "are we really doing this?" it makes me think you were giving him mixed messages about your interest. you talked about exclusive - and then ask if you are dating or are gf/bf in your mind. Or if you didn't Being exclusive is being exclusive. it means you have paired off and are dating just eachother. A boyfriend/girlfriend label comes over time.
  6. If there is a silver lining - you don't own a home together. There is no "don't leave, because you will lose the house" thing. You will both lose the apartment at the end of the lease. I still would not leave to keep the kids routines the same for now until you establish everything. You don't want to go live with a friend and make it easy for her to get 100% physical custody. Set up custody groundrules about the kids not being able to stay with a boyfriend, etc, though.
  7. Do not buy a house with him. Only buy a house with a man you are marrying (there is a wedding date plannned). Otherwise, buy your own house, or he buys his (whether you both live there, or one of you does). Many people stay in relatonships just because of a house. Its a red flag to me that you are worried his mental health is dependent on what you do or say. I think you feel obligated and trapped - you are so worried about him being upset at you for things that you shouldn't worry about if you were with a mentally healthy person. You are walking on eggshells. I think you honestly need to seek counseling - DO NOT BUY A HOUSE WITH HIM and maybe even take a break to figure out what is mentally healthy.
  8. Oh, i was soooo upset when i had my first period. I was weeping in the bathroom. I was bullied by supposed friends because i matured faster (was the first in the friend group to need to wear a bra.) - and i wished i could just stay a kid a little longer. I am really glad i am a woman but up until your early 20s sometimes you don't really feel like you come into your own -- your body might still feel awkward, your whole self could feel awkward etc -- its normal!!!
  9. She is a girl who doesn't like girly things whose parent is inappropriate for foisting "boy" treatment on her. Its not her own conclusion. When i was younger, kids would say "oh, you don't have a boyfriend/you won't tell me what boy you like, maybe you are gay" Honestly, boys still had cooties when i was 12. I wasn't "interested" in boys as far as wanting to kiss them or date them or something, - i really wasn't interested until my senior year --being a late bloomer or the absence of attraction doesn't mean you are nonbinary, fluid, demisexual --- you just haven't hit that part of your life yet. Its sad that a young woman has to wonder if she is really a gay guy because she likes girls and doesn't like pink ruffles and someone in their life is nudging her towards boy pronouns if that is truly the case. She should be fearlessly living as a girl - who hates pink dresses -- vs trying to shrink herself or bend to what someone else is telling her. Tons of awesome straight women out there who are into cars, rock climbing and such and wear sneakers or boots on their wedding day. Heck you could not bribe me to put a dress on from the ages of 5 to 17. I am really into having different purses and i like dresses now - granted they are tailored with zippers and stuff on them -- nothing Barbie would ever pick.
  10. You know -- i had short hair and liked frogs and turtles when i was a teenager. Short hair does not make you "gender fluid". you are simply a girl or a woman with short hair. It didn't matter if we did or didn't like frilly princess things. It did not make us boys or gay. The problem now is that people jump on every fashion choice or interest and say "oh that means you are really a boy!" Dads like their sons AND daughters to be confident. Its not something one gender is and one is not. Poor treatment by a parent (referring to a girl as a boy if they really wanted a boy) doesn't mean you are anything other than the way you were born. Enjoy being a girl who likes her hair short because its more comfortable or fashionable that way and don't question yourself so much. SPend time with people who love you just the way you are
  11. You indicated that you have nothing to worry about because you are way more attractive than her. So right, its not about looks. Because you see yourself as more attractive does not mean that your good looks means that he is not interested in her. "time stops when i am with you" is a really big load of crap and you are buying it. "the world stopped when i saw you from across the room" soo many schmoozey lines. usually "he told me he loooooved me so he doesn't mean anything.." If you believe that, then i have a bridge to sell you...
  12. Stay off the internet chat boards. If people don't know you, why do they have anything to bully you about. Are you sure you are being bullied by every single person, or does when someone not agree with you, you don't compute that and take it as meanness, when its not? Sometimes people who are autistic can't always read social situations or tones of voice. Are you sure *everyone* is really bullying you? What kind of ulterior motive do they think you have? I doubt if all therapists actually yell at you....
  13. Look at all the supermodels who have their boyfriends and husbands cheat on them. Was the other woman more attractive? 99% of the time -- nope. Most of the time, the other woman is a quite ordinary looking woman. Its Nooooot about looks.
  14. They say he's good for you because then they are off the hook from listening to you and spending time with you.
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