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abitbroken last won the day on December 5 2020

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About abitbroken

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  1. How old are you? If you are 19, then 24 could be a huge gaping difference on where you are at in life. But if you are 23 and he is 27 - that's not that bad unless he has expressed that he is dating to find a wife and you are just out to go on casual dates and are only dating him because there is no one else around. Then you are wasting his time.
  2. Well, if you agreed with me, you would not be so insistent on talking to her. I mean, that's not normal that it has gotten to the point of obsessing about it so much that you are in therapy about it. It should not have gotten to the point where your wife has to talk you out of making contact with a young woman who acted a s a predator to you when you were 9. Say it aloud in front of a mirror "I can't stop thinking about a time when you would pretend to sleep and i would fondle your breasts...and i wanted to apologize" . Are you really think you would go up to a woman and say that?
  3. you only have been dating this guy 3 months and have only been official 6 weeks and you are already acting insecure. Stop it. So what if he doesn't have 1,000 pictures of a girl he just started dating.
  4. I think that you should NOT track down this young woman to bring up what happened when you were 9. It was not right of you to do it, but you are going to possibly upset and disturb her life. Instead, I would write a letter that you never send - apologizing to her, writing down what you realized since then, etc. And then burn it or throw it away. its hard to say -- sometimes kids experiment/play doctor at this age - and its possible that this is not at the top of her mind/something that didn't stick hard in her memory - not because she is "repressing it". It could be she felt violat
  5. There is no game. She was forthright and direct with you. She just chose someone else. It would be a game if she strung you along. If someone doesn't feel a connection with you, its best if they don't accept another date so you can meet someone who suits you better, too
  6. Send flowers if you want a restraining order. Are you on some level wanting the guy she clicked with to see them and make him think she is entertaining other men?
  7. I do understand. Don't enter any other FWB agreements. A woman (or man) who is willing to "accept" a no relationship relationship instead of believing they have tons of worth and deserve an actual relationship or have the self worth to just not have sex for awhile if all that is offered is no strings -- they don't make good relationship material. Or if they do, she or you accepted sex from someone that is not compatible -- because if you were, you would have just had a relationship instead of a sex agreement
  8. BTW, a man who is 20 and goes back and forth about having kids -- NORMAL. A man who doesn't know in his heart of hearts that he would love to be a dad given the chance that is already a grownup man in his 30s and 40s ? His answer on kids is NO, but he likes the sex so is telling you what you want to hear. Plenty of 30-40 year old men in your dating range who already know that they are looking for a future wife if they are lucky enough to find her and wish for children as well or A LEAST can look someone in the eye and admits they DO NOT WANT KIDS and have the character to say it vs thi
  9. Yes, her personality can be replaced by someone with a personality that clicks with you even more. Because what good is her personality if she wasn't even into you? And what kind of scruples does she have if she likes stringing someone along "until she finds someone better?" Some personality, right?
  10. Oh honey, I was with Mr. "Marriages don't work." If he marries you, the marriage will be brief. Find a wonderful, emotionally available man who wants to be a dad. Take it from a woman older than you, "having kids someday" is yesterday. Don't wait until you are 40 to decide to try -- be infertile, struggle with $30 IVF and end up childless. If you meet a wonderful man who wants kids or is definitely open (not wanting a baby mama but if he should fall in love and marry the right woman, it would be great to try) . Its not sexist -- its a fact. He is LOUD AND CLEAR that
  11. Honestly, why on earth did you move in together? Both of you seem to want this kind of "therapy" of talking about your exes and it is an odd dynamic. I met an amazing man and we both had prior relationships. Do you know how often we talk about our exes? We don't. There is no rule against it, but we don't feel any need to. We moved on, healed,etc. , and were ready to be in a relationship when we met
  12. If you really wanted her, you would say "i have feelings for you, but i know you don't have the same for me. I can't be FWB anymore. I would like to either date you properly or i think its best to keep our distance so that we both can meet someone who thinks we are the one for them. " Having the moving on attitude is the best way to go.
  13. What happens if you were married? You can't "cool off" by not seeing/talking to your husband for a few days. You need to learn new coping mechanisms and learn them RIGHT NOW. Sure, deciding to leave a topic until you go have a nice hot shower or a good night's sleep, but stonewalling your spouse is the worst thing you can do. Healthy couples can decide to leave a topic and revisit it later, but in the meantime, watch a movie together, have normal conversations just not about that, etc. Either learn to go take a jog (but even that can be done at the wrong time), or learn to have productive
  14. It was his choice. He decided to end the friendship vs setting a boundary (not entertaining her problems, but accepting platonic former housemate friendship that only involved gaming) so you cannot turn this around on yourself and say "i didn't really mean for him to do that." Just be glad that he took your chat to heart. In truth, maybe it was easy to let go because he *truly* was not really that invested her. He liked being able to play video games with somebody, but maybe just "took" the rest because he felt awkward and didn't really know how to gracefully exit those conversations.
  15. Why the heck are you even "in the loop" to know all this. Drop all "friends" acting as "informants." Block her everywhere on social media not so she cannot reach out but so YOU DO NOT LOOK.
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