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Skeptic76 last won the day on May 29 2020

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About Skeptic76

  • Birthday 10/13/1976

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  1. Sounds eerily similar to when I lost my mom 7 years ago this month. It was really hard for the first couple years, but these days when I think of her it’s usually with a smile and a chuckle, or that deep, warm love feeling and gratitude. Of course I still miss her and occasionally have a good cry, but it definitely gets easier. All she gave you is evident in the way you parent your children and conduct your relationships at home, work and so on... pass the best parts on and make her proud! All the best
  2. It seems like it was a good relationship, but if you aren’t okay with your partner watching pornography this might not be a good match? Of course being called “a pain in the ass” would hurt someone’s feelings, but you’ve never complained about him? The thing about venting to friends who don’t know you doesn’t seem too bad to me...better than poisoning the well with mutual friends. Seems like what he was DOING spoke louder than a hurtful remark he made, or how he spent alone time (if it wasn’t impacting your sex life?) That said you have every right to choose a partner who doesn’t watch pornography.
  3. I can understand what you are saying, but as a guy who is intentionally sterile (vasectomy) I can’t relate. It seems like you are the only one who is judging yourself as inferior? If other people are determining what it means to be a man for you then that’s the problem. You are the only person who gets to judge what it means to be you and how you should live your life. You can’t judge your insides by other people’s outsides. There are so many women who don’t want kids; if what you are looking for is a solid relationship then they should be your dating pool.
  4. I won’t pretend to know what’s best for you, but when I found myself in a similar situation I chose to leave the marriage and started my life over from scratch. Everything you’re saying about the hardships of divorce is true. Everyone hurts and finances are shot. The saying is “It’s cheaper to keep ‘er.” The other saying is that “divorce is so expensive because it’s WORTH IT.” I separated in 2013 and even though it was insanely painful I would do it all again. I took time away from dating and relationships to heal and learn to love myself. The insight and security I got from that experience has repaid the initial pain tenfold. Just my own path there...only you know what’s best for you. Best wishes!
  5. Personally I don’t see any reason to blow up the relationship over anything you’ve written. If you stay with him then you need to decide if it would be healthier to give him the benefit of the doubt, or to obsess and ruminate.
  6. It will only be “it” when you are no longer willing to tolerate his manipulative break ups.
  7. She went to his house drunk to “sober up” instead of coming home? That isn’t just dancing. Just dancing happens on the dance floor and then it’s over. Based on my own years on this earth and my own travels, there is no way I would trust that situation to be free from mutual desire.
  8. She’s your ex. You didn’t do anything to intentionally hurt her - let her manage her own feelings. And I agree with the other with other sentiments About staying off of OLD for a while until you get your feet u see you again.
  9. She had an affair. We couldn’t get past it. I also got sober two years before the divorce and she had a drinking problem so that creates a significant rift too. In my own case I am very glad we split up. She ended up getting sober to get me back, and even though we didn’t reconcile she remains sober to this day so that was a positive. Also the kids stopped being exposed to horrible fights. I was forced to truly “find myself” and so I’m a much happier person today and that was a big positive. We get along fine as co-parents and I would make the same choice if I had it to do again, despite the pain we all had to go through to get to “well.”
  10. I’m another man who behaved as your husband did. The third time I filed for divorce was the time that it “stuck.” We have been divorced for seven years now. Although the divorce was the worst pain I ever went through: my kids, my ex wife and myself are all happier now. I understand about the doom and gloom fear about “who would ever want me now?” I knew that financially I would be starting over from square one, single father, I have an STD, yadda, yadda, yadda... Like you I decided not to do any dating right off the bat. You’re smart for that. I took a year to be by myself and focus on my parenting and my healing. That helped SO much. Therapy, self-care and doing everything I could to be the best father I could possibly be were places to take my mind and be “productive” or positive when the pain was crushing me. As a result, I was a far more secure and confident person “on the other side.” I healed and GREW so much. And guess what, dating is actually fun and interesting WHEN YOU ARE READY for it! Plenty of great, single men are family oriented and in your age bracket. My experience is that if you want to find love after divorce, then you can make healthy choices along the way that will enable you to enjoy that. Don’t beat yourself up for staying in the marriage past the expiration date, and don’t feel guilty for making a difficult, but ultimately positive choice for yourself and your children. All the best!
  11. You’re having the worst night ever - I am so sorry. Good for you for posting before making any decisions. That is a wise move. As somebody who made many “cry for help” threats and actually failed one genuine suicide suicide attempt I wanted to let you know that you're not alone...and if you want to talk to somebody 800-273-TALK is 24/7 and anonymous. My life today is more full and wonderful than I EVER could have imagined when I was on the brink and I genuinely believe yours can be too. All my love.
  12. I’d move out toot sweet and try my best not to be punitive or passive aggressive about it. Like a “cheerful your loss” kind of attitude as best as I could muster. I’d likely continue dating her, albeit with a WAY dialed back approach. I’d be hopeful that she would keep on wanting to see me but totally prepared for a fizzle-out and dignified exit. Good luck man
  13. Haha, manipulators gon manipulate.
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