adrenalyn-x

Take what away? You mean the porn? If that's what you meant, I don't think telling him not to do any of that is going to help. Firstly, you're right in saying that he may just want to keep going. Secondly, there is a way to work it out so that both of you get what you want and not feel pressured by the other, providing you're both willing to compromise.

One reason he is having his "private sessions" could be that he feels somewhat inadequate (maybe even embarrassed) around you (his very low sex drive). I would not jump straight to the conclusion that he is cheating just because he is masturbating alone. This can just mean that he is trying to better his sex drive, with some visual aids, some physical stimulation. Have you confronted him about this and told him your feelings? Did he come right out and tell you that he's been masturbating alone, etc, or did you find it out yourself? As with not having sex with you often, same thing - he could be feeling a little embarrassed that he can't keep up with your sexual drive. I think the threesome idea is one way to go, providing that you are both ready for it. Unfortunately, you don't seem to be ready for it, which is completely natural. My boyfriend has also suggested this idea for us (we both have a healthy level of sex drive - the only thing is that mine is a bit higher than his...), and I too don't feel very comfortable with actually going ahead with it. "its so hard to think that he wants othe people way more then me" I'm not entirely sure as I don't have the whole story, but I don't think that that is how he feels about the threesome. It could be his way of helping out your sexual relationship with a little boost. Bottom line: you both need to have a good talk about this issue. Once it's all out in the open, you will have a better understanding of him and his behaviour. "guys are not monogamous people, its in their nature to have sex with as many people as possible" That is a very strong statement to make. Not all guys cheat or will cheat. It's the same as saying that all girls are like that.

It seems you've done everything backwards here - sex first. Now I'm not saying that that's the wrong way of going about things, because I've been there and I know how it can happen with the online chatting. Like mahlina said, you should be careful. It's a generalisation, but when men are only after no-strings-attached sex, they will accept the first offer they get. If you're lucky, he might also have feelings for you, but if you are after a healthy relationship with this guy, or any other guy for that matter, there is no need to rush straight into the sex. When you wait, it can be sooo much better. You should definitely raise the subject with him, asking him to answer you honestly (sometimes men will say anything to get you into bed) - listen to your instincts. If he is not willing to wait, then you know where you stand. Never let a stranger talk you into sex. Get to know him a bit more, outside of the sex talk. See what kind of person he really is, if he is still boyfriend material. All the best!!

Always happy to help, bboyartist Love the website, by the way.

It's best to ask open-ended questions, questions that require more than one sentence in reply. For example, if you started a conversation with someone by saying "Nice day, isn't it?", chances are, they could reply with a simple "Yes", and the conversation could end right there and then. Here are some ideas on what you can say or ask: Where do you like to hang out? Seen any good movies/concerts lately? I like that perfume you're wearing. What is it? You've done something different to your hair... (if you have mutual friends) Did you hear what so-and-so is going to do? Also, listen to what they're telling you. These things give you a lot of hints as to what to ask/say next. They may have mentioned a person, a place, an event, etc. Follow-up by asking them about these things. The longer you've spent talking to someone, or the more often, it gets easier.

I agree with bullet in that you should spend a bit more time with the second girl, to get to know her better. In fact, you should spend the same amount of time with each girl to help you decide. However, remember not to rush anything. What you want to do is to get to know each girl with quality time, the way it should be. By the end of it, you will have a better idea as to which girl you choose. Not only that, but the time that they have spent with you, will also help them in deciding if they like you enough to start a relationship (ie. the first girl with whom you weren't too sure of her feelings for you), which will also help you along with your decision.

I stumbled upon this site one day while searching for some advice on a problem I had. I found that everyone was so helpful, had really good advice to offer, and it kind of made me feel no longer alone. I started reading other people's posts, found myself in the same situation in the past and could offer some help. Since then, I've been visiting regularly. I love this site because it brings people together. It's like one big happy family where everyone is there for each other. If you felt alone, there is always someone happy to listen. There is always a solution, even when you think you're all out of ideas.

I haven't dyed my hair for a couple of years now, but many years ago, I would do it often, along with changing my hair style. I did it because I loved constantly having a new image. I was still in my teens and experimenting with different looks, trying to find my self-image. If I did it now, it would be for a bit of fun, a little boost to my confidence and look. Just like buying new shoes, clothes or trying different makeup. Different people do it for different reasons. There is no doubt that quite a few guys do it too. I think it's great. It's another form of self-expression. Some will also agree that your body is like an empty canvas with which you can create a piece of artwork on to tell the world what kind of person you are, just like an artist does.

I remember this from another post I answered last night titled "A SECOND Chance?????????????" from the same author. Might be best to read this other one first? link removed

Yes, in the case where a girl likes the guy, some girls do wait for the guy to make the first move. This is mainly because she is shy, or she doesn't want to move too fast and scare him off in the process. From experience, this is how I am in that situation. The best moments to make the move is when you are both physically close, like sitting or standing side by side, or when you're saying goodnight (this is a very good excuse for a kiss if you're feeling awkward to make the move any other time). As well as what Beec said - an appropriate moment is important. If you sense by her body language that she is "closing up" when you move closer, this is not a good sign to go ahead with the kiss. Your instincts will help you with the rest

Happy 18th!! I didn't have my first real boyfriend until I was 19, so you're not alone. There is no right age or time to have a partner. It happens when it happens, when the time is right. While you are still single, go out there and have fun! Enjoy the single life while you still have it, because you never know, around the corner could be the girl you've been waiting for That's the beauty of love - you never know when it's going to hit you

Ok, it's obvious the partner doesn't like you in the picture, whether it be jealousy or another issue, but it's something that needs to be sorted out between her and the partner. There seems to be quite a bit of mistrust and level of control on the partner's part. By all means, ask her about her thoughts on your relationship and her feelings for you. You do have a right to know where you stand, especially when you are left feeling that you are jeopardising their relationship. However, in the end, she is the one who has to make the decision whether she wants to be with her partner, with you, or all parties come to a compromise where everyone can be happy.

Remember how you got her attention in the first place? By talking to her, paying her attention. This is how you're going to get her back, but don't mimic everything you did before. Just take it slow, be yourself like you've always been. Focus less on your shyness and more on her as a person. Take a deep breath and go for it You can do it!

Ask yourself honestly, in your heart, is this guy right for you in the long run? He has told you almost from the beginning that he does not want to commit. From your post, it sounds like he is still happy being single, living at home with his parents and relying on them for financial support. Can you picture yourself married to someone like him? You sound like a very patient girl, so maybe you can sort of lay low for awhile and see what he does, if he makes any moves/choices about your relationship, or does he just fade away from your life? Seeing as you have been making the first moves all this time, maybe leave the ball in his court for a change. If he has changed, he will make a decision, whether to continue the relationship or not. But remember, life is too short to play the waiting game. Ask yourself if you want to be with someone you have to wait around for. All the best to you with whatever path you take.

I think a little competition is a healthy part of life, but NOT when it evolves around your life. I think it comes down to self-esteem. If you have low self-esteem, aren't satisfied or happy with what you have, you start to feel jealousy towards the more "fortunate" individuals or groups of your gender. It's an unsaid thing. It's not something you admit to for fear of sounding weak. I totally agree with charmed. We have the media to blame for our distorted view on what is beautiful/acceptable. Everyday we are bombarded by images of size 6 women, selling everything from food to cars. We start to think that this is what we need to look like if we want to be somebody in this world. The secret to advertising is to sell you what you don't have, thereforeeee what we are constantly seeing is the unattainable image.

I was in the same situation. Been with my guy for years, and suddenly this really sweet, nice, guy comes along and made me think twice about my long-term relationship (which had gotten comfortable and lack-lustre). I was so confused at one stage because I've been with my guy for so long, we've become so comfortable in each other's company, we're practically best friends, etc, but there was no longer that spark in our relationship. Like XxXCherryliciousXxX said, sometimes it starts with just that. You find yourself subconsciously looking for that slice of excitement in your life, so when someone comes along and gets your curiosity up, it can blow out of proportion if you're not careful with what your priorities are. In the end, I decided that in the long run, I wanted to be with my guy. I'm still in the process of getting over my crush, but at least I have made my decision. It's just a matter of time. If deep down you think that your relationship with Alex is worth keeping, then don't ruin it with the Crush for the wrong reasons.

Okay, not implying that you are or meaning anything negative by it (so don't take it the wrong way. I just want to understand the situation), but currently, are you just getting to know people for the pure fact that hopefully one day, they will ask you out for drinks ,etc? Are you genuinely interested in people? I think that it has now come to the point where if you do get an invitation somewhere, whether you think it would be fun or not, like that clubbing invitiation, say yes. You never know, it could actually turn out to be fun, and they could lead to more invites down the track, etc. Just turn up. If it's not your style, you could always leave. The difference between acquaintances and friends, I think, is that friends know more about each other, their emotions, their thoughts, their secrets. How much have you opened up to the people you have met?

From what you said, sounds like there is definitely potential. Like Hair_Metal_4_Life said, some people are just shy, so they find it harder to call back. Pursue her for sure, because girls love that, but only for the first several times (so that she can confirm your interest), because depending on what she is like, she may not like the constant chase. Some girls love it all the time - other girls don't. Once she knows that you are interested, the ball's in her court (to call back). I think one way around the "serious advance" towards her, is if you just get comfortable being alone in each other's company, something casual, like the jogging or some excuse to ask her out to lunch. If things look promising after that, you will know which way she wants to go with you.

I'm a bit confused about this too. I don't open up easily to people I don't trust or know very well. When you say you talk about "me, myself and all my problems" to people, it sounds like you might be trying to work out what kind of person they are by telling them what you are really like and then seeing what their responses are?? Am I right? "All my problems" - do you mean problems about trusting people? What is it that makes you think "I don't get what people want from me"?

Listen to what your instincts are telling you - everything you said he does, it sounds like he has at least some interest in you (ie. noticing subtle differences on you like your haircut). Are you interested in him too?

Well I'm female and quite shy too (I used to be worse), but I think in general terms, the same applies for both genders. You want to speak up, but fear sounding like a fool to strangers, so you keep quiet. Of course you open up around friends because you know what they're like and what kind of response you will get. In order to break out of this, you just have to not care what others think - after all, you are just being yourself, and if they don't like that, there are plenty of other people to make friends with. And so what if you say something stupid - laugh at yourself and move on. Say what you want (with tact, of course), tell people about yourself, find something you have in common with them that you can both relate to so that it's more comfortable to converse. Even if you have nothing in common, the fun part about talking with strangers is that you find out new things all the time. Concentrate on the person, instead on yourself, and you will feel less self-conscious and eventually open up to the person. If you feel uncomfortable talking in a group, then pick one person out of it and have a small one-on-one with them. Once you've done that with several people in the group, things will move along and before you know it, you will have made a few friends! This also applies when you are talking to the opposite sex. Hope that helps you with your friend

In regards to the Shy vs Confidence thing in guys that girls go for, well personally I think Shy overrules, because Shy is mysterious. It's sexy, and you just know there's a wild side to him beneath the surface that's waiting to come out. But then it can also work the opposite. Like a confident, wild guy could be just a softy, a romantic on the inside, and that is so sweet But Shy doesn't mean overly-sensitive or emotional, because, like with both sexes, no one enjoys being with someone who is constantly negative.

Verbal flirting is when: * you laugh at their jokes, even when they're not funny * you give them compliments on anything you can think of * you're trying to make them laugh * you ask them a lot of questions about themselves (this one probably has to have a combination of another behaviour for it to be flirting)

What you can do to help is be very patient with her, help her relax, and try not to focus on the orgasm itself, but rather in the pleasure. Talk to each other during the sex, etc, and like you said, move on to something else if one place doesn't work. If it doesn't work, there is always next time. The most important thing is that you both enjoy yourselves. Does she masturbate by herself? If she does that, at least the pressure is off both of you. She can relax and take all the time in the world, and practice in trying to have the orgasm without having to worry.

This guy is definitely very shy, whether just around girls or people in general. It sounds like he is interested because why else would he keep walking past your office? The fact that he keeps doing that is saying that he wants to be near you, and is trying to make some kind of contact in his own way. Like tough_girl said, if he was trying to avoid you, he would be choosing another route, instead of passing your office. Another reason why he gets all nervous while talking to you could be that he really really likes you. He is self-conscious and fears looking like a fool to you. Don't worry, you have not done anything wrong. It's not that you are intimidating him - it's his shyness. All you can do is be patient, take things slowly, and eventually he will open up and relax around you. Make him laugh, loosen him up. Initially maybe be a little "shy" with him (during your conversations), so that he will feel more at ease. Talk to him about things he is interested in, and find something you both have in common. Just make sure there are plenty of non-threatening opportunities for him to approach you when he feels comfortable to. Hope it all works out