Princess777

Wow Turboz, Well said. Coming from your male point of view, that was very insightful and honest!!! Kudos to you for telling us how men really think.... interesting, somewhat sad, but true!!! Princes777

Hello, Sorry to hear you are going through this! I've heard of the email thing happening to a lot of people I know..... she must have been floored! I think this happened for a reason... I think it is good that you found out. Try to take a step back from your relationship for a moment and look at it like it was your friend telling you this. What would you advise him to do? You didn't mention your age so I don't know how serious you are about her, but ultimately now you know that she messed around and forget the "not a good time" line.... she wasn't going to tell you, buddy. If she felt bad about it and didn't want to lose you, she would have told you immediately to clear the air. Look back at the timeline, when it happened and compare it to when things started going downhill for you two. I think you are better off without her,, "just a kiss".... you'll never know that for SURE.... how do you know that? You have to trust her NOW to believe that it was only a kiss. Besides, to me, a kiss is rather intimate. If she was talking about joking around with the guy about it, it evidently was funny to her. I'm telling you, I REALLY think she is feeding you a line and yeah, she probably DOES feel bad for doing it and seeing how much it hurt you, not to mention the embarrassment of being caught. I say you are worth more...... every time you think about how much you miss her, think about reading that email for the first time and how your jaw dropped on the floor. You are better than that... don't let her do this to ya!!! Princess777

Hello all, I wonder about this topic too, although I'm on the other end of the spectrum. My husband and I frequently argue or have misunderstandings. I think a lot of it has to do with how well you know someone too. I admit I should have dated my husband longer to get to know him better before marrying. I think with some couples who don't argue, there might be some things that they are not telling the other person, or there might be some things they're letting slide that might show up later on, once they've had enough. Maybe they're not being honest with themselves about what pet peeves bother them about their partner.... I don't know but I am sure that it is possible to have a wonderful, harmonious relationship without all the arguing, and if you can have that and you know in your heart that you are being honest about your feelings and so is he, then more power to you! I hope that you can maintain that throughout your relationship, and please give us other arguing people some lessons!!! I know I need them!!!! Consider yourself lucky but I would also keep my eyes wide open to ensure he's being honest. Princess777

OK I will interpret it further for you and I'll PM it to you. I think I can assure you your mind does not want you to die!!! This dream really represents a situation in your life that has caused great change. Death represents change in a dream, (unless it's pre-cognitive, which in this case I seriously doubt)...A way of your thinking about a situation may have changed or will change. I will interpret the dream fully and send it to you and then you can analyze it further. But please don't take it literally --- Dreams are called the Language of Mind and it can only talk to you the way it knows how. Think of it like a foreign language... not understandable unless it's interpreted. I hope I can help you stop having this dream by identifying what change you're going through. Princess777

Hello, Well I think you're really sweet to want to do that for her. If you really want to give her those things, only you know how you'll feel if you don't do it. Personally I think the watch might be a bit much, seeing as you are just friends but I guess it depends upon how close you are. A watch is pretty personal, I think.... BUT again, if you feel good about doing it, do it. You know the situation much better obviously and you know whether or not she would take it the wrong way. I'm concerned you might scare her off though.... although if she likes you just as much it could open a door to a much more involved relationship, which is a good thing for you. I would say, sit down and analyze how close you are, and think about if she gave you the same thing on your birthday. How would it make you feel? Would you feel obligated to like her more than you really do, or would you welcome it and be elated? How long have you known her, and do you only see her in this one class? If you decide to do it, I would not do it in class. I would ask her to meet you somewhere briefly because you need to talk to her. Then privately give her the gifts and tell her you just want her to have a wonderful birthday. And you're done! The rest is up to her. What do you think? Princess777

Gladiator, First of all, this is a wonderful site for help and a supporting crowd! When I give you my opinion, Please don't think I am belittling your problem - I realize that this problem is very real to you and no one is disputing that. 8) OK, so here goes....very few people who are 17 OR 19 know where they'll be later on or who they'll be with, or even what they want out of life. I think you are expecting guarantees about something that neither of you have control over right now. Actually a lot of people even older don't know what they want. I am not saying I know everything because I sure as heck don't!!! However I have been through a LOT. This doesn't mean that your relationship won't work!!!! Everybody is different and I hope it works out for you!!!! But I think you need to take a step back and realize that you are both very young and that if you try to make each other guarantees it might sound nice to hear and make you feel better, but you may be very disappointed later if for some reason it doesn't work out. Plus, you already said that she has given you her word that she loves you and won't leave you, etc. and you still don't feel any better. I think you are justified in fearing that it might not work, however, don't let that stop you from enjoying your relationship with her. I've found out the hard way that no matter how old someone is, try not to expect anything from anybody and then that way you don't get hurt so much. Take your relationship for what it is, a young, blossoming, fun time that might lead to something serious later on but don't rush things so much, there's no hurry, you've got plenty of time for the serious stuff later and she, at 17, is in no way ready for that. I think a lot of men choose younger women so they can "wear the pants" and so that the woman looks up to them, and that way the man is in control. However I know a lot of men who grew tired of that after awhile and ended up getting with someone closer to their own age and maturity. You two are only 2 years apart and that is not bad anyway. Everybody is different and you two may still be together 40 years from now! All you can do is show your love as much as you can and hope. Princess777

Babes, I can interpret this dream for you in detail if you desire. I studied dream interpretation for quite some time, metaphysically. Anyway, I'll give you the short version right now, and a more detailed one upon request... I don't have the tools right here that I need but I can get that to you later... The short version is that your dreams are always ONLY about you and no one else. They represent our waking thoughts. You have gone through or will shortly go through a major change in your life. The music that you make in the dream represents harmony that you had at one time but it is being interrupted by this change. The weapon used in the dream represents the tool for the change. What you think of your mother's boyfriend is also part of the cause of the change. The parts of your body that are hurt are very important in this dream too, so I need more details. I know this might sound a little weird but I'll bet I'm pretty accurate. I will be even more accurate when I print this off, take it home and do it properly..... a recurring dream usually happens one of two times 1) When you have been thinking about the same thing over and over, and you haven't figured out what to do, and your mind doesn't have any other easier way to tell you how to figure it out, or 2) When it is a pre-cognitive dream. I doubt it is number 2, let's hope to God that doesn't really happen!!! PM me if you don't want to post it... Princess777

vampyr, Hello! You are right, she is a nut case from the sound of it. Wow, I think she really is using you for an ego boost. She's probably getting bored of this new guy, and seeing that he has faults like everyone and that he does things that annoy her and she started to think of all the good things about you. It sounds like she is trying to just keep you on the back burner and is definitely playing with your emotions. I don't think she wants you back exclusively but rather wants to mess around. Otherwise I don't know why she would answer your questions so half-heartedly. When I wanted to avoid someone when I was single, I got caller ID and didn't answer the phone. That's the easiest way to deal with it - NOT TO!!!! Once you pick up the phone it opens the door for the lies and I am a firm believer in SHOW ME what you feel. Pay attention to what people actually DO, not what they say. It helps clear away all the fluff that they throw around to confuse you. Good luck!!! Princess777

Hello all again, I've had something on my mind lately and I absolutely don't know why! Most of you here know that I am married, and I've had my share of difficulties in this marriage. But that's not the issue here. When I was single and before I met my husband, I was seeing another guy. This other guy still acts like he likes me when I see him occasionally and may be a little remorseful for letting me go. I was thinking, do you think he liked me more than he let on when I was seeing him? You might ask why do I care and I really don't know, it's just something that's been bothering me lately.....Am I wrong to wonder about this? Princess777

I suggest you just keep a casual friendship with her (VERY casual). I wouldn't go out of your way to please her or care too much about what she thinks about your relationships that you might want to have, etc. Don't walk on eggshells around her so much!!! I think the more you relax around her the more attractive it would be. She will always be wondering what you've been doing or who you've been seeing, etc. that way. If you meet someone you really like, I wouldn't hold back your feelings but I also wouldn't put public display of affection out there unless you really mean it, and you are sure you are over your ex. I know it is so hard to see someone out and about after you've been with them, and they are with other people, etc. and you constantly wonder if they're looking at you and you wonder if they care what you've been doing. Try hard not to worry, we can only control some things, but not all. Princess777

Yes, let's hope that a Dissolution of Marriage is something that differs from state to state. I don't know what state you are in but let's hope that's the case! I had to wait 6 months of living in separate household from my husband in Illinois (only because it was a no-fault divorce that I did by myself and we both signed a waiver of the regular 2 year waiting period) before it was finalized with that paper. I couldn't believe it was regularly 2 years!!! I didn't want to wait that long! I think the easiest thing for you to do is to contact a divorce lawyer and tell them what the last paper you got from the court was, and ask them what it means. I sure hope it turns out okay and her lawyer just got his/her wires crossed. Weird!!!! Princess777

Lizaly, I've been through 2 divorces, one in Texas and one in Illinois. (not proud of that, of course!) Anyway, this is the strangest thing you are speaking of!!! I'm concerned because there is another form called a Dissolution of Marriage that you should have received, in court, when the divorce was final. In Illinois, there is a waiting period of several months of living apart from the former spouse before it's final. I hope you didn't get married before it was final because then he is in big trouble? Your husband would have had to have gone to court, not just got it in the mail. The judge would have pronounced him legally divorced, he would have signed the dissolution of marriage, and it would be stamped and you would have received a stamped copy of all of your forms from the Clerk all at once. Let me know what's going on!!! You need to consult your attorney for SURE. Princess777

Hello ripped, Nice work!!!! No, don't feel guilty at all!!!! You are her husband and you were totally in the right. She was sneaking around behind your back and you caught her, plain and simple. Being female, I would have freaked!!! I would have probably cried, ran into your arms, begging for forgiveness, admit I messed up and never do it again. Although I would never do that to my husband, I'm just imagining a hypothetical situation and how I would react. Wow, she should be proud that you love her so much to stand up for her. And, what a jerk that guy is for threatening you. I know my husband would have punched him out... Kudos for your self-control and staying out of trouble!!! I don't know if I would trust her anymore though.... trust is an extremely difficult thing to earn back. Be careful, OK????? What has happened since then? Princess777

Hello All, Been awhile since I've asked a question but I've got a good one.... I would like your opinions on how you effectively argue and make up with someone that you definitely know you will spend the rest of your life with? I am so committed to my husband and want my marriage to work SO BAD!!! I'm no spring chicken but I feel this is something I've always had a problem with. I've talked with him about this and he says that every time we make up, he loves me more and feels closer to me, and that he doesn't look at it like that, and that arguing is just something that has to occur and it's not a reflection of our love, it just happens and then we should forget about it. How do I just forget about it? That fear is still there. Any insights or suggestions out there? Thank you very much! Princess777

Dollface, It sounds like you are extremely bitter because he broke up with you, and that is completely understandable, but don't lower yourself to hurt him by trying to make him fall for you again with the intention of leaving him! That is bad karma, you will regret it later because it will come back at you. No, you need to look at this from a different perspective. What if you lost interest in HIM, and told HIM what he told you? You would have been honest, not cheated, and told him how you felt to spare his feelings later instead of cheating. Then what if he turned around and tried to win you back, you fell for him, and then he crapped on you? You HAVE to give the guy credit for telling you, believe me honey, he at least told you what's going on. Most guys just stop calling, ignore you, or go out with someone else when they want to drop you like a bad habit. I think you are hurt more than you want to believe, and it's OK to hurt!!!!! Just grieve for awhile, it's good for you to get it out, cry, pray, whatever you need to do, but get over him and leave him alone and move on.... you don't have to prove anything to him. You are ALREADY in control of your life.... you don't have to show him that. There's no shame in being broke up with.... it happens to all of us!!! I hope you feel better after reading this.... try to suppress those revengeful feelings!!! Princess777

Hello again, I would guess that he is not ready for a commitment (obviously) with anyone. I know that hurts but in reality, would you want to be with someone who cannot and who is not willing to give you the kind of relationship you want and deserve? You can't make him want it, he has to do that on his own. The drugs thing is a possibility too, he could possibly have slipped back into that, and that's a bad thing. If you're not sorry you sent the message, then that's okay but you might regret it later. I know I poured my heart out to people before and SO regretted it later when they never ever responded. I've trained myself to hold back a little more than I used to. That's not to say you shouldn't let someone know that you love them. But you know you have already done that. You know in your heart that he KNOWS that you love him. That's all you can do!!!! If you see him or speak to him again, I would just remain calm and collected and don't pour out anymore. There is really nothing you can say or do that will make him change his mind.... I am 33 and I have known a lot of people, I have never met a man who kept changing his mind... the ones I've known pretty much maintain the same outlook on life all the time. People rarely change unless a life-altering thing happens. Try to pick apart the way he is in your mind and ask yourself a bunch of questions about if he is really the ideal guy for you. Make a list of all the qualities you DO NOT want in a guy. See if he matches any of them. These are just suggestions to help you through this.... good luck. Princess777

There is an old saying that goes, "Men marry a woman hoping she'll never change, and women marry a man thinking she can change him." Is that what happened here? Sounds like you might just need a romance booster in your marriage..... a weekend getaway, and more time alone with him. It sounds like you're bored - tell your husband you want some more spice in your lives and you want to always keep things spontaneous, for the sake of the marriage. Marriage involves doing things we don't always have time or money for, just for the sake of the marriage. The marriage itself is something that requires a certain amount of attention or it will suffer. When neglected, the union of marriage becomes two separate people with two separate lives.... the whole idea is to share your lives. Make dates with each other and stick to them. Even if it's a cheap picnic in the park, it's something. Call each other like you used to, just to say I love you. Don't let yourselves slip into the old routines.... And that supposedly inevitable feeling that one of you will have an affair will become a thing of the past. If you keep thinking that way, you will create it in your life. You can think positive about what you have, you are lucky! Princess777

It sounds to me like she is more comfortable in a non-committed relationship with you, and maybe feels relieved now that you are not exclusive, so she is more relaxed with you. Does any of that seem true? Being a huge fan of confronting people with what's really on my mind, I suggest you do the same, just ASK her... communication is key with this kind of thing. Tell her you deserve to know what her intentions are. Princess777

Heartbroken, You DID the right thing!!!! Now the ball is in her court, and you will not subject yourself to letting her throw your heart in a blender again. Good for you!!!! Keep up the strong attitude. She knows you love her because you told her what kind of relationship you want. There's no doubt about that. She just has to make a decision now. Go on with your life and don't worry about her any more.....Way to go. That took guts and a lot of emotional willpower. You should be proud. Princess777

Shaw, I doubt that she just woke up one morning and decided she didn't love you anymore... there's more to it than that. Is she a lot younger than you (hence the running around).... and I would venture to say that her medication has more to do with it than you both think.... Please try to convince her to go get another opinion on her medication, and share your concerns with her doctor - maybe he/she will call her and tell her that she needs to come in! I was on some prescription medicine in my twenties for several years, different kinds, for chronic headaches that were also used for anti-depressants and other things but some had bad effects on me, I was tired all the time, never wanted to have sex, was argumentative, was a real b*tch, and hated life!!! It was truly awful. I can't believe I stayed on them for so long. I finally quit taking all of them, and I got pretty sick for about a week but I have a lot less headaches now and I actually am able to love now. Read some articles on this site and the one that the other person suggested and I hope all of this helps you!!! It's so tragic that she is doing this to you.... it sounds like you might possibly be a workaholic??? That is SO hard for wives... she is human and needs you around more, it sounds like. Money cannot replace that. Let us know how you're progressing! Princess777

Shaw, That is so unfortunate. I suggest number one you tell her that you love her very much and that you have no intention of letting her go that easy! Then I would ask her if she would please go to a different doctor and get a second opinion on the medication she is taking for her depression. Definitely get marriage counseling!!!! Don't give up whatever you do.... that is too long to just throw away when there is really no reason given. I was married for almost 11 years once, he cheated on me though is why we split up. I was devastated at the loss of time and the failure..... it is awful to go through even when there is a good reason to split. I would also take her to quiet places and talk to her, and try to get her to open up and talk to you, about anything at all. Ask a lot of questions and, even though you might know a lot about her, maybe there's still something that happened in her past she's not telling you that has caused her depression. Having been married most of my life, I can tell you some common problems I experienced before: Boredom, physical tiredness, and being emotionally drained. The everyday stresses are very common and sometimes people just want to give up. Some questions to ask yourself: Have you asked her what she plans on doing? Are you spontaneous with her? (The surprise trip was great!)... Do you two have good chemistry? Do you help out with the kids and the housework? That was a HUGE thing for me that drove me nuts before!!! Just some ideas I'm throwing out there. I sure hope you can work it out!!!! Princess777

Hello again Donny, I am glad you realized you're not ready to get serious and that you're not completely over your ex. Do you ever have contact with your ex? If so, that may be fueling this anger that you feel toward your new girl, because it sounds like you are angry that she is not your ex, and that you fear you will be rejected again. And although the new girl wouldn't hurt you near as much as your ex, you seem to fear the actual thought of rejection by anyone right now. Unfortunately, life is full of rejection in many categories for all of us and it is something that is never easy to get used to. I think you are looking for acceptance right now from her or anyone more than anything. I think you are looking to her to show you that you are worth having. Well, she doesn't need to be around for you to know that! You are worth having! And just because some people don't appreciate that or you didn't have the perfect "fit" with them, doesn't mean you won't find someone later to share your love with. You wanted to know what is going through a female's mind when she is on the rebound, well, for me, I was married for a long time, then single and thought the world totally came to an end and I gave up on serious relationships for about a year. I wanted it so bad but knew that I needed to get my head on straight and stop being so naive. I just started taking everyone at face value and didn't believe anything they said until they SHOWED me their feelings. I hated the single life, and the games people play with each other. The only ones who showed me they cared for me were people I wasn't interested in.... it seems to always work like that. I told each one of them immediately that we were just going to be friends... I never wanted to hurt anybody. I just got into the mindset that I was going to have FUN in life, no matter if I was single or not. Once I stopped trying so hard to find someone, I was out having fun one night with some friends, and I saw a guy that I absolutely HAD to meet - I knew he was my type without even saying a word. And my hunch was right. I walked straight up to him, said something corny and we hit it off immediately, he fell head over heels for me, told me I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his life and he still tells me that to this day. He is my husband now, and even though we definitely have our problems, we love each other unconditionally and I hope we are always together. So you see, there IS hope for the future!!!! You will find her when you stop comparing your ex to everyone and decide that you can have a good time each day without her..... I hope that you can do this soon. I know it's hard.... talk to us here anytime!!! Princess777

Andrea, Have you EVER found your husband physically attractive? Did this issue ever come up while you were dating, have you been with other men that you were physically attracted to? Did you question it before and how your marriage would survive without this key component? I had that problem with my first husband... I realized after a few years of marriage that I just didn't enjoy sex with him at all, never was physically attracted to him and that I married him for the wrong reasons... too young, the security, wanted out of the house, etc... He ended up cheating on me. Most men cannot handle that and I hope you can come to a solution before that happens. I am sorry to disagree with one person who posted here, but I feel that chemistry is extremely important (not the most, but very important) in a marriage!!! Like it or not, we are human and we have those desires. If you ever had chemistry with him, try to rekindle that somehow with help to save your marriage. You might be surprised. Look at all the great things about him and maybe go to a sex therapist?.... I hope you can work it out with him. Princess777

Hello, I have felt this way before too about my current husband. It IS a strange feeling because even though he shows me no indication whatsoever of wanting any of them back, (as a matter of fact, he absolutely can't stand any of them) I know that they all were in love with HIM and I guess that is the threat I see...... that he is capable of being loved by other women and there is proof of that. Although he was never married before me and he and everyone who knows him confirms that he has never been in love before me, (a great plus for me!) he lived with some other girls and I admit that bothers me. I think for women like us, it's the thought that even though we are married, with all the cheating and internet relationships and what-not out there, we just want to hold on to what we've got. I also think that jealousy over our husband's pasts indicates that we want to ensure that we are now his number one, and will remain so. We don't want anyone to ever take that away from us. Does that sound familiar to you? Join the club with me, dear!!!! Princess777

Donny, Hello, sorry to hear you are having doubts about your relationship... let's see, these are pretty general questions you have but if you want my opinion..... It sounds to me like you're not really ready for another relationship right now, but rather she is a distraction from your grieving process from your last relationship. You sound more disturbed by the possible situation of her using you rather than the fact of losing her as a partner.... does that make any sense?? Maybe you should just do something as simple as taking her somewhere quiet and talking out these feelings, in a mature way. For instance you could say, "I can't help but feel that you may be thinking of getting back with your ex, and I feel that this is something we can talk about without hurting anybody".... maybe that way she'll tell you. If she's not she should reassure you and then everything should be fine in your mind. What do you think about doing that? Princess777