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Allie.

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Everything posted by Allie.

  1. Allie.
    Hey, well..first of all, i wanna thank you all for being so supportive. you guys seem to be great at giving advice =D well...my ex was my best-friend for a whole year [before we got into a relationship]. We got into a relationship and he broke up with me because he prefers only dating [christian] girls [& its radical cuz we're only in highschool]. We still got into a relationship cuz we knew eachother so well and liked eachother a whole bunch. Everything was perfect. Yum. [we all love those "too-good-2-be-tru" times] and then...all of a sudden... In like a few weeks, he broke it off and said that he doesn't have ANY feelings for me because he gets the feeling that "God" doesn't want us to be together. [i understand he has this strange concept of "christian girls please" but what bothers me is the fact that he INITIATED a relationship with me...ie...first one to say "ilu"..etc.] I haven't contacted him for a WHOLE month today. thank god. haha. But I really really really do want to become friends with him again...eventually...[i mean he was my best-friend]...i wanna be over him hopefully b4 school starts..cuz there will be NO way of ignoring him then. His friendship was great. And we ended on a "fair" note where I told him I needed time [because he hurt me so much] but we could be best-friends again eventually. He agreed. So give me advice as to what to do when your best-friend breaks up with you and..u really wanna be friends. and all that good stuff...k thx. a.l.w.a.y.s. Allie.
  2. Allie.
    good good. looks like you got it all sorted out. now just go thru with the plan and keep me updated =D g'luck. Allie.
  3. Allie.
    Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I know what's going on here because I have done this before. [what the girl is doing] Why is the girl doing this? [i'm listing them in order from most likely reasons she's talking to you to least likely] a) I can bet that she probably posted on your myspace [and some other guys' myspace] because she wanted you guys to comment her back so that her ex boyfriend could see that there are "other guys" interested. [u should check up on how many guys she posted random comments to the same day she posted one on yours] b) When someone breaks up with us, it makes a valley-drop in self-esteem. Maybe she's commenting mostly everybody on her friends list because she needs to remind herself that she has many "friends" or people that care about her. b) Maybe she is suffering from the oh-boy-awful symptoms of love addiction. So she's rebounding off to several guys and getting the guys to give her compliments..advice...etc. Girls obviously can't satisfy that need because she broke up with her BOYfriend. haha. c) Well, after such a traumatic event, she probably needs someone to talk to about and maybe after being in a realtionship with that boy for so long, her best-friends probably became her second priority and now she's looking for a friend and maybe she wants to be your friend. [i think this is very unlikely considering you guys are just acquaintancs] d) She thinks you're cute and heard from some other ppl that you thought she was hot and she wants to spark of something. [this i think is VERY unlikely because she just broke up with her boyfriend...etc..] I think that you just need to a) stay away from her if you get more attracted to her which could lead to a further heart-break for YOU because she's still HEALING. and it'll take her a while..from what it seems. b) just be a friend. REMIND yourself that she's probably rebounding...etc...most girls do that. =D haha. c) ask her straight out if she likes you or not. G'luck. Allie.
  4. Allie.
    Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I know what's going on here because I have done this before. [what the girl is doing] Why is the girl doing this? [i'm listing them in order from most likely reasons she's talking to you to least likely] a) I can bet that she probably posted on your myspace [and some other guys' myspace] because she wanted you guys to comment her back so that her ex boyfriend could see that there are "other guys" interested. [u should check up on how many guys she posted random comments to the same day she posted one on yours] b) When someone breaks up with us, it makes a valley-drop in self-esteem. Maybe she's commenting mostly everybody on her friends list because she needs to remind herself that she has many "friends" or people that care about her. b) Maybe she is suffering from the oh-boy-awful symptoms of love addiction. So she's rebounding off to several guys and getting the guys to give her compliments..advice...etc. Girls obviously can't satisfy that need because she broke up with her BOYfriend. haha. c) Well, after such a traumatic event, she probably needs someone to talk to about and maybe after being in a realtionship with that boy for so long, her best-friends probably became her second priority and now she's looking for a friend and maybe she wants to be your friend. [i think this is very unlikely considering you guys are just acquaintancs] d) She thinks you're cute and heard from some other ppl that you thought she was hot and she wants to spark of something. [this i think is VERY unlikely because she just broke up with her boyfriend...etc..] I think that you just need to a) stay away from her if you get more attracted to her which could lead to a further heart-break for YOU because she's still HEALING. and it'll take her a while..from what it seems. b) just be a friend. REMIND yourself that she's probably rebounding...etc...most girls do that. =D haha. c) ask her straight out if she likes you or not. G'luck. Allie.
  5. Allie.
    Hmm. I just have one simple quote to add to this thread. So hopefully it'll be of some use. =D "Never leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love but the one you love will never leave you for the one they like." I think you need to decide who your love is and who your "like" is. If I were you, I would stick with the girlfriend and just merely inform her of what is going on because she obviously means a lot to you and I think she deserves to know what's going on. Best o' luck bro. Allie.
  6. Allie.
    Hey there, wow. your situation seems like an unavoidable sticky one. Props to you for trying to ignore him but of course, something reminded you of him. Well...If i were in your place, I would stay off of that link removed website as a whole because it definitely would tempt me to go and look but you might be more self-controlled than i am so it may be okay for you. Now, as for seeing his pro and etc...wow. yes, that of course hurts. So i suggest doing whatever you can to stay away from him. Logging onto the site just increases your chances of going and visiting his profile. I mean, let's observe the choices here. and even though we all hope that are ex's come back and beg us to take them back..its probably not going to happen becuase they already rationalized in their head why they broke up with you. So here we go...If you look at his pro...you may find out... a) that he's single but still doesn't want to be with you. b) that he's taken and still doesn't want to be with you. Either way, its a negative-negative deal. You're going to get hurt either way. So I suggest staying off that. As for it being too late. Amen to sad_now. its never too late! its the summer. oppurtunities are great. go live it up girl. you'll be fine! keep up the healing. Allie.
  7. Allie.
    ooo. thats a tough one. Hmm. well, honestly, different people heal at different rates. and for some...the healing is faster than others. It seems like if she blogged on myspace about how "she respects his wishes to be single"..etc...that she still likes him. I get the impression that she wants to maybe wait for him and respect him till he's ready to be in a relationship. Another thing to question is how much do you know about the break-up? Like, maybe...he said something to her like, "You're probably the girl i would want to be in a relationship with, if ever...but I need to be single right now." If my boyfriend said that to me, I would definitely respect his wishes to be single but WAIT for him. You know? I suggest inquiring more about the break-up and maybe the girl just needs nice soft shoulders to cry on and maybe you're the dude around =D so the quickest way to a girl's heart is...well, maybe...just be her friend right now..cuz if i was put in a place like that...i would definitely need a good friend...hmm? Keep me updated bro. Allie.
  8. Allie.
    Hahaha. psh. you owe me nothin girl. Just keep movin forward. =D g'luck chica.
  9. Allie.
    Hey backagain. Your situation sounds very confusing. The best thing I can tell you to do is actually go to the girl and tell her that "I have a feeling that you're lying and that if you tell me lies in the future, I'm going to have to cut this relationship off because trust is supposed to be a major issue in a relationship." I've pulled the whole "innocent" before and most guys have to live with it...but from what it sounds the girl is probably lying to you, I suggest either a) what i said before...confronting her about it with a "break-up" [trust me, she'll get scared] b) Take a break and completely ignore her till she comes begging because she will and etc...not a break-up sweetie, just a BREAK. so thats what i would suggest. I hope you get better. Allie.
  10. Allie.
    Hey Blu! Good for you girl. You go get 'em. And its completely normal to feel better knowing that he misses you. Well, that was mistake of mis-wording. He doesn't necessarily miss you but he definitely thinks of you. Because of NC thing...like he's gonna wonder, "Where is she? What is she doing?" complete human nature. I've been the dumper before and the feelings I felt during that were [guilt, loss, fear] and i'm sure he feels the same way. Because he DOES care for you but he doesn't necessarily care for you in the same way you want him to care for you. And you know what? That's his loss. If he doesn't care for you the way you want him to...he's missing out on a sweet girl =D [idiot] hahaha. Anyway, Keep up the healing. and just keep reminding urself that its over and that its the SUMMER and the oppurtunities are great and just have fun. Don't worry about it till you have to see him again =D. l.o.v.e Allie.
  11. Allie.
    well all i can say is that if you want to take it, go for it. don't let a good oppurtunity go by. you have a tough decision to make...is your friendship more important to you or your relationship... if you want to get into a relationship, you should know, well before hand...that you are taking a risk...a risk to lose a friendship..and of course, taking a risk to gain a relationship...its ur choice chica. "The risks we take are us." Allie.
  12. Allie.
    hey Blu Break-ups alone are very hard but not having a sufficient reason of a break-up..where your ex states the [raw] classic statement of "its not anything you did..." etc... my point: its even harder when its not your fault but that they think that they don't want to "stick to one person" or "restrain themselves" or "don't wanna put up with the stress that you come from"..etc. So I completely understand where you're coming from sweetie, cuz I'm going through a very similar situation. But one thing that I learned [and continue learning] is the fact that...the reasons for the breakup don't matter...whether it be your fault or not or whether the other person wants to restrian themselves or not. The reasons don't matter. In the end...you're stuck with the cold hard bitter truth which is that...it ENDED. The reasons it ended aren't important, whats more important is the fact is that it ENDED. period. its gone. You have to keep reminding yourself that your ex is gone...and maybe things could work out for you guys in the future...but "if you love someone, let 'em go...if they were ever urs, they'll return...if they don't return, they were never urs"... So the reason doesn't matter. It seems to me as if your ex has already made it clear that anything you say or do is not going to make him change his mind. Sadly, I had to realize and that you have to realize too...that he probably isn't going to come back for a while. That is because before he broke it off with you, he rationalized in his head why he was doing it. I'm sure he thinks about you often and is like, "oh..well i sort of miss her" but then he is overcome with the thoughts that he rationalized to break up with you, for example, in your case, they might be, "but then again, its the summer and there's so many choices out there and i don't want a serious relationship." Darling, you have to understand that even though their [stupid ex's] reasons for break-ups don't make sense to the dumpees...we all have to come together and realize that...somewhere...deep...deep...yes, deeper...in their head, all of those reasons make sense in a heck of a twisted way. The very scary hard truth is that you can never have a relationship with someone who doesn't want to have a relationship with you and he doesn't want to have a relationship with you. and that hurts. [oh boy] haha. but its the truth. the break-up was his choice. you can't do anything but accept it. you have NO other choice. Sometimes life throws lemons at us...so go make your lemonade. =D Keep healing girl. and I'm here for you. If you need to talk, i'll be around some other forum here =D hahah! Allie.
  13. Allie.
    Another luverly song for us girls. The Middle by Jimmy Eat World Hey, don't write yourself off yet. It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on. Just try your best, try everything you can. And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away. It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle, it'll up the ride. Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright. Hey, you know they're all the same. You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in. Live right now. Yeah, just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else. It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride. Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright. It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride. Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright. Hey, don't write yourself off yet. It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on. Just do your best, do everything you can. And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say. It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride. Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright. It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride. Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright.
  14. Allie.
    Here's some really helpful lyrics ladies. Hold On~ B*Witched Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on..... You've always been a tough girl, but you feel you're about to break You're feeling stuck and out of love watching your dreams all slip away been working mornings in the kitchen and working nights at the corner store as your life goes by, you wonder why and you know that there's got to be something more. Hold on, but don't hold too tight let go, it's going to be allright don't run away from what your heart is sayin' oh be strong, and face what you're afraid of Come on, show them what you're made of I know it's hard when your hope is gone but you've gotta keep holding on. You hear a voice that is calling and it's telling you to make a change it's time to fly, and say goodbye and move on to a better place you know you've got to take the first step to get to where you wanna be just get on track, and don't look back 'cause it's the only way that you're gona be free. Hold on, but don't hold too tight let go, it's going to be allright don't run away from what your heart is sayin' oh be strong, and face what you're afraid of Come on, show them what you're made of I know it's hard when your hope is gone but you've gotta keep holding on. (Bridge) Hold on...... you're gonna make it,you're gonna be stronger hold on...... hang in there baby, just a little bit longer hold on...... yeah, you're gonna be fine don't give up, be strong when the going get's though you gotta hold on Hold on, but don't hold too tight let go, it's going to be allright don't run away from what your heart is sayin' oh be strong, and face what you're afraid of Come on, show them what you're made of I know it's hard when your hope is gone but you've gotta keep holding on. Hold on, but don't hold too tight let go, it's going to be allright don't run away from what your heart is sayin' oh be strong, and face what you're afraid of Come on, show them what you're made of I know it's hard when your hope is gone (3x) but you've gotta keep yeah, holding on.......... Hold on........., hold on, hold on...
  15. Allie.
    hmm. well. i have nothing to say but stick through it. don't call him. let him come to you. allie.
  16. Allie.
    Hmm. oh the silly myspace. I have one too. and I'm in a similar position. not completely the same. because i don't know if my ex has another girl in his life. and i choose not to. my advice to you is to keep away from myspace. even though its tempting to go and look. and look. and look. but still. just force yourself thru one day and the next day will be easier...etc. Let's look at the situation this way. You obviously have strong feelings for this girl. and she has broken up with you and apparently moved on. Now...if you go and try to talk to her about it...etc....you can a) talk to her and get really hurt because you realize that she still doesn't like you. b) talk to her and find out how much she's in love with this other guy and get really hurt. The two choices don't seem so good. if its someone she has potential to get married to, as you say, [though i may suggest] that some obsessive girls out there to declare "in a relationship" as "married"...either way, she has really strong feelings for this guy so you're prolly not gonna be able to get in the game. These silly things like the season or an internet site or a restricted phone call or seeing couples everywhere we go...remind us of our loss and that's normal. but its always important to disassociate ourselves with these loss symptoms and move on. Keep up the healing. Allie.
  17. Allie.
    Wow. That was great! Thanks so much. You have no idea how much that actually helped me and so many other people out there =D. Keep up the great posting. Allie.
  18. Allie.
    hmm. that sounds really tough. but honestly, I think that this guy was in it for a lot of girls. the whole time. i mean, i think he definitely got attatched to you. i'm sure thats a possibility. but seriously, this guy isn't good for YOU. it doesn't matter why he chatted with women..etc. the reasons don't matter. The fact is that he DID it. and you deserved better than that. i think you did the right thing personally =D hang in there kid.
  19. Allie.
    so yes. this is pretty ridiculous. but of course i'm hurt and etc. but...ahh...i wouldn't mind if it would be some random kid on the street being prejudiced or whatev but this was one of my best-friends. curazee. him saying that "my feelings for you went p.o.o.f" hurt enough but more than that was the reason that they went away. rawr. everything happens for a reason. hopefully.
  20. Allie.
    its gonna be hard but just keep reminding yourself that this was her decision. and that she decided to leave you. you HAVE no choice but to move on...or the other alternative being killing yourself. [but thats raw] and lets not go there. But just know that in the overall picture of life...all the negatives eventually lead to a positive and trust me, i know how hard it is doing that...but i think you can do it =D Final words: Just know that there's nothing you can do. You could've never made it better if it never belonged. hmm? Allie.
  21. Allie.
    hahahaha. you guys are great =D and of course...maybe, we could be friendss...but not right now. once i'm ready =D
  22. Allie.
    Hahaha. yup. 101th reason to let this guy be- maturity levels vary. greatly.
  23. Allie.
    haha. my reason. im sure will get the "Dumbest reason award"...being in highschool. he says, "i get the feeling god doesn't want us together". eye-rolls allowed.
  24. Allie.
    hmm. yeahh mann. thats one of those things that guys also say to make the "break-up" easier?! * * *?! it doesn't make it easier. haha. its like the occasional "no offense" added to a comment.
  25. Allie.
    oo. uno more pregunta ya'll... there is a best-friendship at stake here. hmm?
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