Allie.

Dear Allie, i'll always remember you. ~*A-dawg.

Hang in there love. We're all here for you [= We all have our weak moments but u know...we can all post on here and let the pain go away. It GETS better! Allie.

what did she say red? And more importantly, wat did you say back?

Dearest Allie. I'm sorry you're having to suffer through this...I know he was your best-friend and that you trusted him with all of your life. But it didn't work out. Your heart is broken but it will mend. I'm sure it will because Allie, you are one of the strongest women I've ever met. I love you...with all of my heart...literally. [= You're young and you have a beautiful future ahead of you...and nothing in this world can stop you. You're hardworking, intelligent and one of the most unique and amazing people out in the world. Haha. Who else goes outside in the middle of the night and starts singing about...yes...cubes? and further adds the beautiful taste of "pixels" in the song. Not many people can come up with a jam for cubes and pixels at 12:30 at night...and get the neighbors to come out and sing with her! You're beautiful. Many people have told you that. Even some strangers. So you must be physically beautiful but what I love the most about you is the fact that you still have that inner child inside of you. Its alive and upbeat and living. When people grow older, they usually forget it but you still have it. You're constantly doing crazy things in the spur of the moment such as jumping into a pool when its 50 degrees outside. You still play in the rain whenever a rainstorm is around [= You would choose a day with a kid over a day with an adult. Forget it...you ARE a kid. After all, you do think Dr. Seuss is the most prophetic guy out there. You're so much fun and so different at the same time...if he wants to miss out on you...let him [= its HIS loss. You know many guys who would be more than happy to date you...but I suggest you stay away from them because I've sensed some vibes of immediately jumping into a rebound relationship from you silly girl. You know thats not fair. So don't do it. Either way Allie...you give great advice and that's why all of your friends call you when they need to talk to some one and you've always been the funniest one out of the group. You laugh and make those around you laugh. Many people have told you that you leave a trail of sunshine wherever you go. So keep making people happy and in turn become happy yourself [= You will get through this...because the purest hearts heal the fastest....and what heart is purer than the heart of a kid. [= iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou! ~*Allie

hmm. it seems to me that its becoming necessary that you talk to your friend about staying off that topic. I don't think he realizes FULLY how sensitive you are about this. I had to discuss that with all of my friends because my close friends did the same thing too. And...it sucked. So talk to him [= Believe it or not...people can't read minds =p! haha. So cheer yourself up and talk to him [= I know you guys are fighting but for your own benefit, I think you need someone to talk to and your best-friend seems like the one so I would talk to him and work things out. you're gonna be needing him sooner or later buddy. always, Allie.

Dearest Allie. I'm sorry you're having to suffer through this...I know he was your best-friend and that you trusted him with all of your life. But it didn't work out. Your heart is broken but it will mend. I'm sure it will because Allie, you are one of the strongest women I've ever met. I love you...with all of my heart...literally. [= You're young and you have a beautiful future ahead of you...and nothing in this world can stop you. You're hardworking, intelligent and one of the most unique and amazing people out in the world. Haha. Who else goes outside in the middle of the night and starts singing about...yes...cubes? and further adds the beautiful taste of "pixels" in the song. Not many people can come up with a jam for cubes and pixels at 12:30 at night...and get the neighbors to come out and sing with her! You're beautiful. Many people have told you that. Even some strangers. So you must be physically beautiful but what I love the most about you is the fact that you still have that inner child inside of you. Its alive and upbeat and living. When people grow older, they usually forget it but you still have it. You're constantly doing crazy things in the spur of the moment such as jumping into a pool when its 50 degrees outside. You still play in the rain whenever a rainstorm is around [= You would choose a day with a kid over a day with an adult. Forget it...you ARE a kid. After all, you do think Dr. Seuss is the most prophetic guy out there. You're so much fun and so different at the same time...if he wants to miss out on you...let him [= its HIS loss. You know many guys who would be more than happy to date you...but I suggest you stay away from them because I've sensed some vibes of immediately jumping into a rebound relationship from you silly girl. You know thats not fair. So don't do it. Either way Allie...you give great advice and that's why all of your friends call you when they need to talk to some one and you've always been the funniest one out of the group. You laugh and make those around you laugh. Many people have told you that you leave a trail of sunshine wherever you go. So keep making people happy and in turn become happy yourself [= You will get through this...because the purest hearts heal the fastest....and what heart is purer than the heart of a kid. [= iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou! ~*Allie

-sigh- you're completely right. I'm not going to push friendship at all. Thank you so much. allie.

definitely. that's how it was for a year before we went out. we were great friends. we only dated for about two weeks and but we had liked eachother for months...I was there for him when he had girlfriends and he was there for me when I had boyfriends. Whenever something went wrong...I called him...and vice versa. his relationship meant a lot to me but so did his friendship.... and NC is not going to preventable por que we work at the same place and i'm going to have to talk to him. ]= What do I do then?

yes. I understand that. thats why i've been keeping NC for about 2 months now...I just wish that one day we could be friends again...when I'm ready...and I wish...that "one day" was sooner [= can't we speed this up? -le sigh- don't answer that.

Well, I do feel a bit alone today so I'm just going to ramble on a bit. I hope you don't mind. =/ hah. I think I need to do this probably because I was a) thinking about how there are going to be new girls present in our workplace next year and that he might go off with them or b) I was rummaging through some old stuff today and found a reminder of my PAST deepest relationship yet [not this current break-up i'm suffering from but the previou sone]. That relationship lasted for about a year but it was most perfect...till...he cheated on me. I had to get medical help after that relationship. I was SO heart-broken and today, I found some CD's his band had recorded for me and it reminded me of him and how perfect we were. I find this to be quite odd because I'm suffering from a break-up from another relationship so why is my past relationship bothering me so much? either way...let's ramble [= hahah. well...do you ever feel like the world is such an unfair place...hmm...why does this have to happen? So many broken hearts...etc...what does the devil get by wrecking hearts of the innocent. My relationship problem was a bit different because we had liked eachother for about a year but been in a relationship for about a two weeks because my guy had a "christian and white" girl only policy....so...since we had such little "official" couple time together...nothing ever really went wrong....everything [in the relationship]..was...literally...perfect. which leads me to say.... I KNOW the relationship didn't end because of something I said or did...it was because of...who i am. he was unsure of what he wanted in the first place and just sort of broke my heart even though he was unsure of a relationship with me in the first place...yet..he initated it. roar. either way...i just feel a bit alone these days. I know a few new girls are going to be "around" next year...and I just started thinking about what if he hooked up with them in front of me and i'd have to watch it all happen right in front of my eyes. I'm not nearly as afraid of the thought of him with another woman but rather the pain i will have to go through when i find out he is content with another woman. There is also a lot of pressure on me to be "friends" again. I was his best-friend for the previous year. Literally, no one knew us better than eachother. and we did have closure and ended on a fair note where i said we'd be friends again...with time. and soon enough when the summer is over...i'm going to have to see him constantly and i'm really worried about that because i won't be able to prevent NC...and believe it or not...i have full intentions to become his best-friend again. I know thats silly. But still...I really do want to become friends with him again even if it kills me....i mean, when we were best-friends...i watched him flit from girl to girl...i handled it quite well. I donno. I just wish he'd call and maybe just send me a message...but he can't call cuz a friend of mine scared him away by saying something like, "i wouldn't talk to her if i were you..." and i mean, if he sent me a message...i wont get it cuz i got a new e-address and don't go on myspace anymore. There is that little hope. I'm not killing myself over it but i mean...its there. I don't know...all in all...I wish that this "moving on" thing went faster. I want it all to end. Hmm? and YES, I know it takes time and seperation and thats what i'm giving it...but it scares me that...well, NC won't be preventable as soon as the summer's over so i was hoping i'd be over it before the summer is over. I mean, its just hard being different...and thats a whole other ball game so i won't go to there. but like the movie goes: "What I don't understand is why you're trying to fit in when you're BORN to stand out." always. Allie. P.S- Even though this is simply a "ramble"...any words of wisdom, any experiences, lessons learned, or merely words of comfort will be greatly. greatly. greatly appreciated.

ahh. i feel quite lonely today. rawr. ]=

oh. that sounds very interesting. I wanna learn more about it =D I think all religions are simply fascinating. but at the same time...i think all religions are very over-rated too. =/ hahah!

explain druidism.

good for you redmage =D we are all very proud of you and are here for you!

OMG. Don't DO THAT! I just posted some advice for you on "Question for everyone doing NC." Don't BREAK NC!!! Allie.

Hey jeff! nice to have you back on this thread! [= either way...there is something awfully bad about today. I'm feeling really weak too. But we have to stay STRONG! we want to give in but we need to stay strong. Hmm? I think its cuz yesterday was July 4th and I was at the fireworks and about 30491483948 people in front of me were making out under the stars and I guess I really wanted to share it with someone...hmm? I don't know. I feel super weak too...and I've been doing NC for almost 2 months now and I haven't thought about my ex for a long time cuz I've been generally happy. Either way, your situation seems very sticky. It seems unavoidable to me. I mean, you need those business cards back but you could make it a tad bit better for you and your heart. Maybe, get her to mail them to you or just drive by and slip 'em in the mail...or maybe get one of your business partners to go and get them...there are several ways you can probably avoid a "direct" confrontation [sp?] with her because in every case, direct contact will be worse than indirect because it will 100x more. I hope I helped a little. Just keep posting and keep expressing! and a bit of advice for today...since its hard for both of us...lets remember that pain is our hearts' way of saying: "I'm healing." Allie.

oh my. yes. of course, I completely understand your pain. I mean, you just realized that your ex is with another guy. I'll give you an analogy...which will hopefully help you understand your grief a bit. ..If you broke your arm, would you try to arm-wrestle. You'll probably say, "Of course not!"...well, that sort of already happened to your heart. [haha don't worry, ur one of the few ppl whose posts i keep up with =D] I KNOW that your heart was broken before you found out that your ex had a new boyfriend and now its hurt more...without your consent. Cuz YOU didn't break NC. Your best-friend came and told you...WHY would he/she do that? Have you talked to them about how sensitive you are about this topic? Maybe you should do what I did...I talked to all my close friends and told them to not ever bring that topic up unless they talk to them and my ex says that he has feelings for me [now that'll never happen] so they never bring him up. even if they talk to him..etc. Oh dear. I'm so sorry about your pain. It must hurt so much because you were moving along just fine and all of a sudden, a situation uncalled for just goes "BAM!" in your face. But know that this isn't your fault. You have to think about it this way. "If she's over you, you're already over her. If its all been done, what is left to do? How can you hang up if the line is dead? If she wants to walk out, she better step ahead. if she's moving on, you're already gone if the light is off, then it isn't on. ^^ those are altered lyrics to fit your situation from a song that i despise but i love the lyrics. hahaha. But either way...its going to be hard these next few days but I will try my best to help you out with this. Just keep up the posting! and do you remember a few weeks ago, you were posting about how you felt SO AWFUL...and then your posts started becoming optimistic like, "Oh i'm gonna get over this...i have all the control..." [look at your posts in this thread] well, it DID get better. the PAIN did sort of get dull...not gone but dull. With time, the whole process will repeat again. You're going to be fine redmage. Allie.

Wow, there IS definitely something about today. Its super hard for me too and I haven't thought about my guy for like a week because I've been happy in general. Ugh. Just hang in there you guys. It will get better...it always does. Allie.

Haha. gaiden...i love your advice. Its always very very deep and meaningful. and it always seems to help me in the weirdest ways. haha. keep up the posting! Allie.

I think what you need is NC because NC helps us realize that we'll be "okay" without them. Not "great" but "okay". I posted a thread about NC a week ago or something. I'll give you the link and maybe it'll help =D always, Allie.

Hahaha. cute post. "her farting..etc.." haha. Of course. we ALL love the feeling of being loved and having someone to support us and love us through all the days of our lives. It is completely normal to feel that way. I miss lots of relationships. Even when I don't have a mere "crush" on anyone..I still miss the feeling of being loved and having a supportive partner. Its okay though. You'll find someone else who will be a supportive partner minus the cursing, farting and needyness.=D always, Allie.

Wow. Firstly, this is very well-written. It sounds a lot like narrative poetry. But back to the point, you know...I feel that way too today. I guess it just takes some time. I mean, think about it...there are so many things that do remind us and will continue reminding us of our ex's...their pictures, "our song" on the radio or merely the season...there will be times where we all miss our ex's and it will hurt...but always remember....that pain is our heart's way of saying: "I'm healing." Let it heal. One question: WHY DID YOU BREAK NC?!?!?! haha. shucks. now you have to start again. and of course you're hurt. You found out that your ex is happy with her new boyfriend. You're only human...with one heart...a heart that was already broken. Now let me give you a simple analogy that I saw here on ENA If you broke your arm...would you try to arm-wrestle again? You think: "Of course I wouldn't." Well...you just did that to your heart. Try to think about your heart the same way. If its broken...I would do anything to prevent further damage to it. why would you try to hurt it again? hmm. But i'm sort of glad that you did because at least now you know...that if you go back and break NC again...you can talk to her and figure out a) she's doing okay and she broke up with the other guy but still doesn't want you back and ur gonna get hurt because of that OR b) she's still with that other man and still doesn't want you back & you're gonna get hurt because of that TOO! So don't hurt yourself more. and start clean with NC and DON'T break it. If you feel like you're about to break--post here and I will try my best to reply to your posts and if i'm not here...then I KNOW that other people on ENA will help you get through this. we're all here for you! always, Allie.

All I have to say is: i think you need a lot of time to heal on your own too. I think I read your other posts and from the sounds of your situation...i think you need some time to heal. Be fair to yourself first. GIVE yourself that time. If you do that, then you'll also be fair to this "friend girl" because you'll have to tell her that you're not ready for another relationship. I was in this very situatione x-cept I was the "friend girl". I always stuck with the guy who had a recent break-up [which in this case is you]. It was very unfair to me. Please don't do the same thing my guy did to me to this "friend girl." She cares for you. a lot. just like I did with my guy. PLEASE respect that and LET HER GO for right now. Best o luck. Allie.

Hey all of you! Sorry I haven't been on lately...it looks to me as if all of us are moving on =D! Just keep on doing NC and u'll be just fine. And remember... there's ALWAYS a difference between what we want and what we need =D always. Allie.

No no no, you're definitely welcome here Leigh. You're on the right road Leigh but let me pass on to you a short piece of advice that our friend gaiden gave us =D I think it'll help. I know its very early in the healing process for you. I mean, I took his advice now...and i've been doing NC for over a month now. But I still think its healthier if you begin the healing process by looking at it not as: "oh, well i have no choice but to move on because HE'S the one that broke up with me and now HE'S gone!" but rather..."Well, he broke up with me...and yes he's gone..and may return...but...I'm gone for a long time." Don't put silly limits on your goals like "i'm gone forever" cuz we both know thats not true =D haha. And also, like gaiden said..when little things remind you of him, then he's not emotionally "gone". What if you see his picture. What if a friend brings him up? What if he calls about your stuff in the apartment?...i hope you get what i'm trying to say. haha. but its just a suggestion. You're headed STRAIGHT down the right road. But. I just think that it might be healthier if you view this situation as an "I'm-gone" situation. Always, Allie.