doyle
-
Posts
77 -
Joined
doyle's Achievements
-
Hello all....!! have been on a little adventure for the last few weeks! well i have been out lightly dating which has been fun and a learning point. this is been the first time in my life that i can rememeber that i was so clear with how i was feeling. I am not out dating to find a girlfriend nor to just have sex i have been out to get out. It has been fun and expensive!! haha well i was kinda of slapped back the other day, my ex sent me an e-mail by "accident" that was also sent to some guy about how much fun that she had with him and that she will be back from her trip at the end of the week....so anyway, i sent an e-mail back saying something to the effect of please do not contact me and remove my e-mail address from her account! now is that breaking NC? i do not think so, at this point in all of this i do not want to hear from her... i am so greatful for this site it is great to see all the support!!
-
Man, it was a weird dream of that we were together and making all these plans to be together...It was one of those that you feel comfort while you are in the dream and then when you wake up you feel alone again! I am telling you I have not thought about her like that in some time, i can not figure it out it was not like there was one thing that reminded me of her that sparked anything...strange.
-
i can see i'm not alone...but i feel alone...
doyle replied to r3drobin's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Robin, I am just checking on you to make sure that you got some type of sleep? It makes it so much worse when you do not rest, you need all the energy that you can muster to get your head straight. As you feel comfortable, keep posting it really will allow those feelings to come out of you. This entire forum are passengers of the same roller coaster some have made it off and other are just getting on for the first time, but we have all experienced this ride some time in our life... just hold on a scream alot!! -
That is great!! I am telling you it takes alot of strenght to walk away completely...NC works the best when it is not your choice! How goes the new job?
-
I swear i am going to send everyone on here a gift after all of this...last night i had dreams of her for the first time in a long time...I was confused what it all meant, i have not thought about her for along time. Again it goes up and down, (the rollercoaster) however it is not the only ride that i am on anymore like I was before. I joined a gym the couple of weeks ago to keep the body weight that i loss off. It feels really good i feel like i am in the military again, running and lifting. just a reminder for all of us that have not been in the gym in awhile start slow!! haha...recovery gets harder has you get alittle older! other then that i think that i am feeling alot better...i really do believe that NC was what got me to were i am at now. thank you to everyone! Need2beme...you know what i found that helped with the "loner" piece of all of this was to goto public places, you can just blend in with everyone else but you are still around other people...
-
i can see i'm not alone...but i feel alone...
doyle replied to r3drobin's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Robin...I am glad that you are able to find some motivation to get out and to the gym. To be honest it does not help that much knowing that other are going through what you are right now because no one here can take away the pain that you have right now. I might be off on this but I can assume that you were not able to grieve your mother passing and once you turned to the one person that you saw as "stable" they too left. I can understand how your head must be all over the place and you feel unbalanced... I also understand the urge to send an e-mail him, i would send e-mails to my ex girlfriend, I found that I would pour my heart to her with no response from her end. It was like I was dealing with the breakup over and over again. At some point your mind and heart will be so tired of hurting that you will find some inner peace.....If this helps any I found that I would post on this site, instead of sending an e-mail to her, I did not post my feelings for her but at least it took care of the need to send something out... At some point when the fog of the pains lifts a few inches from your eyes, you will begin to find a direction...feel your feelings, and right now it is ok not to be ok trust me. you know i am in my 30's as well and all i could think about was why me why now!? It was stumping my healing I was looking towards tomorrow with out finding today. I think the loss of who i was, was greater with this relationship then any other relationship. I also believe that age and experiences contribute to that. -
i can see i'm not alone...but i feel alone...
doyle replied to r3drobin's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Robin, you have to remember that this is all a process, I once felt the same as my heart and mind were a battle field and I did not know which one would win. I am going into my second month of the breakup and I am not going to lie it still hurts sometimes, mostly the weekends. I agree with everyone on here that you need to keep yourself busy, open the blinds in your apartment, call everyone you know, sit in a public place, just get out of the apartment. with that being said give yourself time to grieve that is the only thing that is going to get you to the other end. If you get a chance take a look at my thread "lost in my mind" i had so much support on here. one day at a time... -
so it is funny the last couple of days I have missed my ex alot. I think that i am getting to the point were i am not busy every minute of the day and it gives me time to think. I do not dwell on things but she will pop into my head every once in awhile. I have gone out on a few dates, and i am sitting there comparing the girls that i am with to her....i am not looking for a new girlfriend at all, i am just getting out there...but it kinda of sucks. this last weekend i was with some buddies that were calling there wives and girlfriends while we were out "checking in on them", it was uncomfortable alittle because i was once that guy and miss those calls...i think that it is all the small stuff that i miss.
-
I know sorry i was taking a call while i was typing. I was saying that i feel like in my last post that i am getting forward then i am steping back alittle, so it is just a process! ahhh i hate that. yes we need to set up some time. I will contact you later! i am glad that you are doing well.... so what is the advise on here on going out on casual dates!
-
oh i hear you brother! how is the new job going? I hear you about wanting to experience things with your EX but this is time for you, no matter what happens...what did you check out? was it something that you will go back to? I am getting
-
Man i am still here for sure. I was feeling alittle better last week then the weekend hit and i was feeling really down. I do not know what it was it just happened that i was not feeling up to par. anyway, like someone said one step forward 5 back!! It is my own process on my own timeline... So she called huh? wow, why do you think that she called? do not try to justify why she called, she called for a reason...do you think that she is "forcing" you into a friendship? See you are gaining some power back with her because you said that she was alittle stressed that you did not call her back....if she felt like it was over then why would she care if you called back or not? I think that the last thing that she believes is that you do not love her, i think that it may be the opposite. that she knows that she has you by the B****? who knows, it sounds like you are doing what is right for you man that is good!
-
We can say "ok I'm better now, and now I know for sure that she's not coming back" oldboy; I feel like i am getting to this point now, i have found something in me that has as accepted that fact that she is gone, for me it was a blessing in disguise that she did not want to see me, or talk to me on the phone...I was forced to NC, even though i was able to e-mail her...it was better for me; i was able to get feelings out, i know now that i can still love her but if she is not willing to understand myfeeling then someone else will. like i said i am getting out of a box that i was in, i am out doing things that used to make me feel uncomfortable....i am starting to flirt alittle bit with people not looking for a serious relationship, but enjoying where i am in life right now.
-
I agree, I was sick of suffering and I need to face some demons that I had locked in me. This all has been such a great experience for me and I learning everyday about me and others. I really have been forcing myself to step out of a box that has kept me locked in for a long time. I have tried things that I have never done before, and some I am still working on. I found out how important my friends have always been to me, it is funny when you get into a relationship, you kinda of move away from friends, but they are true friends when you need them most! so it has been great. something weird happened, I had not checked my mail for a few days, in the box was a couple of mags to Maxium...so i called around to my friends and family...none of them got it for me...so now i am thinking that it was the ex...strange but i thought that i would share.... work still is alittle hard at times, and the holiday weekend at times was really tough....but i am alive so that is the good thing. Need2beme; you just keep on that track that you are on, I think that you are learning that NC might get you what you want, now it is time to define what you want!!!!
-
here is what my thought is on having the other person help us get over it, they are trying to pad their guilt for hurting your feelings, it is much better for you to find away to get over her without her. yes, my posted are starting to get a little more anger to them, YA!!! I am not waking up every morning thinking about her. I still think about the relationship but i think that i am learning alot more about myself. I want to thank everyone on here for that. So if you are reading thread for the first time, you will feel a little better over time for sure. Need2beme: I hope that you are doing well at your new job!!
-
anyone else working today? I hate the long weekends, however i have been able to fill more of my time up with things that were important to me...so i am feeling alittle better today, i woke up for the first time this morning with out thinking about everything....hmmmm, or was i and my mind is just so numb to it all? interesting? i hope that everyone is having a good weekend.....Need2beme: you are going to kick * * * in your new position...i have all the faith in the world for you man!