trash mail
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scout thanks for your reply, We actually paid for the trips with our own money. Everything was split 50/50 except for special nights out when she or I would "treat" each other. So no, she didnt use me and she doesnt have to, cos she is one smart cookie and has the ability to strive and succeed on her own. As for asking me questons, i would lke to hear it as it gives me an opportunity to look at it from all points. Maybe, that is it, i am laid back, i work hard but i dont strive though i know that i have the potenial I suppose to me life is about love and the people you have around you. Thanks
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thanks for the quick reply DN , well if i really knew i wouldnt worry about this so much. I dont know. She knows that she has had a great time with me, actually i have had the greatest time of my life with her! This past year was an adventure of a life time and i want to have me adventures with her. for her part she said that she has never had such a great time in her life and that she loves me. I think that she has this problem with commitment or individualism. I dont know. I'm just shooting in the dark. Unfortunately, i am getting frustrated that i cant hit anything. I love her but if we cant move on, do you guys think i she move on? kafka, yes travelling was stressful and we did met some rel challenges but we were able to somehow het over it especially in places that didnt speak english at all! basically in the 3rd world country! That is my problem, we were able to get past that as a team, but she cant get past this is a team. frustrating!! I want her and i to be a team! HappyKat. No i havent proposed to her, she is definitely not ready for that and neother am i. I would never propose to someone i never lived with and really got to know. Which is what i want. To be a team and to get to know each other better
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Ok i have taken insult. It is not only men that do this, women do this all the time! It isnt a male thing only, it is accross ALL genders!!!. As someone said, REJECTION makes you do stupid things because it makes yo feel as if you are not good enough and thereforeeee you TRY to prove yourself by proving yourself of who you are, why you are worth while to him. IMO, to stop this process, you have to step back and say to yourself, you have nothing to prove as it wasnt a rejection that you are not good enough. It was the fact that he is married and has responsibilities which he ISNT going to give up for anyone. My dear it isnt personal (though it got personal for you.) It is time to realise that you are good enough for anyone, but he is taken and that you have to do the right thing and leave the MARRIED man alone to his family which you should have from the start! TAKE a look and do the right thing. He is married so why are you fiighting over him. Leave him alone
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Hey all, I am wondering if you guys can help me with an opinion. I have been dating this woman for slightly over a year and we have travelled all over the world together. As i last counted 14 locations in 12months. I have to say that i love her and she does love me. BUT, there is a reservation on her behalf. I want to move on to the next level with our relationship which is moving in together. For me it is fine for her to live wih me. I want her to meet my family but unfortunately we have been travelling alot we havent been able to do so. On her side, she thinks that i am moving too fast. Am i moving too fast? or is she moving too slow. If she has reservations after all this time we have been together is it better to end it? because as i see it, in one year you will know if the person is right for you thus if that is reservations the relationship had better not go further. We are both over 30.\ What do you think?
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question: my girlfriend is confused with our relaitonship and thus i am getting more doubts. She says that she loves me but she is confused whether she wants to take it to the next step. She has a commitment problems, what she is afraid of is that she is leading me on. She determenined that she loves me but terrified that she doesnt love me enough to take it to the next level. (living together). She doesnt want to hurt or to be hurt. SHe want to be with me but is terrified that she might be leading me on. She so confused and that makes me confused. Is she leading me on, or is the a legit problem with commitment or is she willing to take the step but to damn scared? your views pls.
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i would kindof agree with ROBO here. BUt i different words. He likes porn. Unless watching porn has afffected your sex lives it is an issue. Both of you have different principles. I dont htink you are going ever stop him from watching porn (because most guys i know watches porn). The fact the porn is fictional leaving it just a that. If he masterbates so much that it has effect your relationship ask him to cut down on watching porn. As for his brothers bachelor party, i suggerst that you tell him that you are insecure about him going to strip clubs and that you are afraid that he mine have a moment of weakness and cheat on your relationship. Suggest that he goes and you go as well but you intend to do your own thing. Setup a guide that he comes home to you at 4-5 am? THus you are not controlling him. I dont know if this will work but it is just a suggestion.
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thanks guys!!
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Dreaming of ex, needing to find alignment with the now bf
trash mail replied to itsallgrand's topic in Emotions and Feelings
Why is it so hard for you to let you bf in? y is it so hard to know if you are in love with him? do u know if you want him in you life? or do you really not know? Do you not want your boyfriend to be wtih you through this? These are the question i want to know. -
The way we think about a 'problem'. I am just wondering if there is a easier way of consciencely changing the way we look at things. What i mean is that at times we get so into thinking a certain way it causes a rut ( in which we see as a problem ) , but in fact if we had look upon it another way, there isn't a problem at all. What techiques do you guys use to change the way you look at things so it isn't so hard.
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Momene, thank you for replying, yes i could cheat on my travels but i make sure that she doesnt have a worry about it. I have made myself at her backing call.I make conditions where doubt doesnt occur in my relatinships. I am online 24/7 when i am away travelling. During office hours the phone and msn is switched on. outside working hours the webcam is on all the time so she can log in and see what i am doing. Anything in between i will mention it.( like company dinners etc. ) Dont mistake that we have to see and talk about everything and 'check up' on each other. I just make it a point that i am accessible and nothing is hidden, but that isnt the case with her. I suppose i have granted access and she hasnt so i feel she controls it. I supppose i dont want any doubt too.
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Itsallgrand & Heloladies, Thank you for your replies. I see where you are hitting at. I am stuck right in the middle and i want to approach this subject without coming accross like the DEMAND to know. I just want to know.I don't want to come accross accusing. I dont know, really how not to come accross like i am taking away her independence. Sigh.....
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Thanks... I needed that. Really i did.
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I have a girlfriend that is, somewhat 'independent'. I travel a lot but I make it a point that I talk to her everyday. (I figure it is just my family upbringing. Communication is the point of trust). So, here is my problem, when she goes out with friends, she will meet people. Sometimes they are guys and sometimes they are girls. I don’t disagree on having a social life outside our relationship. This is the sticky point. I want to know about the people she is hanging out with, this includes guys that she has met when she is out with the girls. She has developed some friendship with the guys she has met. She clearly states that she is in a relationship with me. Etc. It is about trust, I will not stop her from making friends with guys and girls, BUT I have an expectation for her to tell me everything about the people that she went out with. Name, career, etc and keep me up to date with her life. For me, when she does that, it gives me a feeling of security on what is going on in her life and any potential threat. In the end it is about me being secure in the relationship as I travel a lot. I think it is building trust in each other where there is no secrets. TO her, I think she feels that she has to report to me about her life. About the people she meets etc. I think that she feels that by doing that she is losing her independence. To me I see it as building trust, for her I think she see it as reporting and losing independence. What do you think?? Is it about trust, control or independence? How did you overcome this situation?
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gift is a great idea. like a welcome gift. Ask your boyfriend about his hobbies and read a little on it. At least you have a conversation starter and there is an opening for conversation. You have showed that you made an effort. GREAT IDEA!
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How do you know you are in love and ready t6 have a serious LONG term relationship? ie marriage?
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well.. if you dad has a high end theather system an di am assuming it is a projector system... one projector bulb can cost $600.00!! The life span of the blub is about 1000houts . So leaving your dads projector on over night is EXPENSIVE!! and irrisponsible. But that is assuming that it is a projector system. But irrigradeless, he is visiting your parents home, he should be more responsible. It is a GUY thing.
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y did you tell them?? They didnt need to know.
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i have heard that if you eat butter that it lines your stomach and thus the stomach doesnt digest the alcohol and it passes out through urine. Can anyone confirm this?
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Just wondering, if you where to have a BIG night out with the guys/girls and you knw that it is going to be a BIG on alcohol consumption wise. What tips can you give me on not getting totally smashed. Other then, "dont drink so much", are there other things that can be done like eating certains foods etc??
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Thank You Robowarrior!! You have saved us again with your good solid advice! I will try you advice and a new perspective
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Momene, how do you stop?
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hard question... i suppose straight up. dont say anything about the phone. ask her out for dinner/lunch. When she least expects it. Then drop the question in a controlled manner. " Have you been seeing or sleeping with someone else? and are you interested in another person?" and watch her face very carefully. You can see a lair if she looks up to the left side. If she tries to blow it off, ask the exact same question again, and when i say exact, i mean exact. Do not ask an open ended question. It is either a Yes or No answer. Do not tell her about the phone, do not tell her about anything u know.
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hi, I am having the same problem, as this post but i didnt want to hijack it. obsessed with relationship U] i just keep thinking and thinking about my gf. I am having a very hard time trying to stop fussing over her. I find it especially hard when i feel she doesnt give me the attention need, i feel like she loves me less. I feel that she isnt commited to the relationship. I just feel that it is consuming me! How do i stop this. I have tried but in myself i feel as if i am tearing her away from me. I have literalling deleted all her phone number and email just to stop myself from calling, IM'ing or sms'ing her. It has worked but not in a good way, i become distant (as if it hate her) and it doesnt do any good for the relationship. I know to her i am high maintaince, she did try to end it once be she came back to me. (i didnt beg, i let her go) She knows she loves me and i love her but i can be to 'needy' or 'easy'. Somehow i have to stop this obsession. Can Someone help me???