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About Me

Found 11 results

  1. I’m getting married in a few months. I don’t want a bachelor party. My fiancée wants me to have one. I have no interest in one. First I don’t want strippers. My fiancée says she is cool with it. I’m not. She said she has told my best man that I don’t want them, but she said there is a possibility they could get one anyways. She knows I’m the person who would just leave if one shows up, but told me not to leave. My best man and most of my friends live out of state. I don’t want to travel back home for a bachelor party. I don’t want to drag her brother out there with me either. He wants to go. I honestly would rather save the money. My fiancée has a birthday coming up and I want to take her out of state (a different state) for a concert. It would cost some money that we are trying to save up for our wedding and honeymoon. I really don’t know how to say to my best man I don’t want one, or tell my fiancée. I have already told her that I don’t want one at all, but She basically told me I need to have one. I think they are buying the plane tickets soon, but I don’t want to go. I don’t want to disappoint my friends and fiancée but I just don’t want to. It’s my choice right?
  2. I went on vacation with one of my friends to a resort. While there we met a group of 4 guys that were all in the Marines celebrating their leave together before they were all shipped different places around the world. I ended up instantly clicking with one of the guys and after only a week was head over heels. Knowing he was being stationed in Hawaii and I would be in North Carolina made it hard to think anything would come out of this. My heart started to break, knowing I felt something real. We talked for a few days after the resort. And he called me to inform me that the resort was actually his bachelor party. He'd never cheated before, couldn't believe what he'd done, but felt no guilt. He told me he was thinking of calling the wedding off because he essentially just settled for her and was realizing it now. I told him that if he were to call it off it shouldn't be because of me, because there was no guarantee this would work. He agreed and took a few days to think it over. Concluding that he would never be happy with her no matter what. He called off his wedding and spent $50k in cancellation fees, but there was one small problem. Being a marine, they had already signed the marriage liscense and been married in front of a judge, with an actually wedding at a later date when he got longer leave. Now my world was crushed. This guy I so longed for was married! His "wife" knew he cheated on her at the bachelor party, but didn't know we kept in contact. She pulled phone records of our conversations and found out we planned to see eachother again. She went off the deep end, messaging me, my friends and family. Threatening to turn the marine into his commander for adultery, essentially kicking him out of the marines. He was willing to take the risk, but I couldn't let him. She refused a divorce until december and threatened him to not talk to me until then. We have kept in contact by other means. She kind of has him in a corner... do you think after a few months she'll give it up? Is it still a good idea to try to meet up? I've pretty much already decided he's worth it. I need any advice that may calm my anxiety.
  3. Hi guys, I am getting married in 2 months. We had a long engagement and didn't really start planning until after a year of being engaged. I asked my best man and three close friends to be groomsmen. I never got around to asking the other three friends I planned on having if they would like to be groomsmen. We are going on a bachelor party next week (just the groomsmen and three other guys). Is it too late to ask them on the trip? I don't want them to think I waited to ask them last or that nobody else could be it and they are last resort (which is not true). Will this be awkward and will they feel pressured to say yes? Only reason I am worried is because it is so late in the game. Maybe I could ask them privately after the bachelor party at a dinner. I didn't want to text them or call, I wanted to ask them in person, and we all have been so busy I haven't got a chance to get the whole group together in awhile. I have seen them many times separately since the engagement, just not all together, and also we really didn't start planning until after some time. Thanks for any advice!
  4. This is my first post, I really felt the urge to tell what I have been going through, because I am aware of my problem, but unfortunately can't afford myself a therapist. The history of my snooping dates back from my previous relationship; after 9 wonderful, happy months of dating, one day I tried opening my fb page from his laptop (while he was at work) and because he hadn't logged out, I practically entered his fb. Until that moment I have never ever snooped on his phone, fb, emails, laptop, etc., because I was happily in love, I trusted him, I didn't suspect anything... But when his fb opened, it was this little devil standing on my shoulder that whispered open the message inbox and without hesitation I opened it. I was schocked - there were messages from different girls, with one of them he was talking about skype call and how she didn't send him hugs that night... I was grossed, my world crashed, I felt disappointed and betrayed... I didn't have the strength to keep on reading other messages because I felt very sick. I confronted him and he said that he was just having fun and there was nothing serious with those girls, just online fling... long story short I am not longer with him, I forgave him back then, but afterwards his fling with those girls continued and my addiction of snooping got worse, so we quit. As for now, I am in a relationship (2yrs) with a guy 5 years younger than me, he is very loving and he respects me a lot, he cares for me as noone ever did, he has never given me a reason not to trust him, but I still live with this little devil on my shoulder, who is constantly there, even wakes me up in the middle of the night and forces me to get up and snoop on my bf phone. How sick is that? I get shivers and my heart beats so fast as I run through the whatsapp msg, viber, fb, instagram, photo gallery, phone logs...you name it... then when I don't find anything I can feel this calming sensation and I go back to bed and hug him. Sometimes I find things, for example pictures of sexy, provocative girls that they send in the group of his friends, but I know most of the guys do that and I don't worry so much. The thing is in a month he is going on this bachelor's party (his brother is getting married) and they have this group on viber where they make plans for the trip. Well, you can guess, I have been reading most of the messages and though I haven't found any indecent comment from my bf, I read a msg from his brother saying that my bf would choose to be with any girl, except of jesscia (that is also my name) and that jessica will be the prettiest of all of them. There were no previous messages to this one, I guess my bf deleted the chat, maybe of fear that I might see it, and now I am left with all these scenarios in my head, surely he is talking about escort girls or I don't know... after his message there was no comment from my bf and since then I haven't open the chat. I feel really bad, first because I am addicted of snooping, second my low self esteem + the devil on my shoulder make me come up with the worst case scenarios, I can't sleep at night, all the time I think of that message and the fact that there would be escort girls... After I read the message I haven't even got near my bf phone, because I am afraid of finding out more information about the bachelor's party. I had conversation with my bf, just told him that I am afraid that he will cheat on me on the bachelor's party and he hugged me and told me that I was being silly, that no matter what he wouldn't ever think of hurting me. I know I have major problem, and I know that if I tell him that I have been constantly snooping on his phone he will be very hurt, and he will forever loose his trust in me... I just don't know how to continue this relationship. I feel like I need to go to CTB counseling, but currently I cannot afford it. Please, I need to hear your honest opinions and judgments.
  5. So, I think I need some perspective on a recent incident with my boyfriend. But first, a brief history on our relationship - we have been together for nearly 3 years now. About 2 years ago, I found out he had been cheating on me. Is there actual proof he hooked up with a few? I don't know, but I found out he had re-created a an account on OkCupid and other sites. I also found a few pictures on his photo gallery. I witnessed a girl texting him while we were out at dinner, he signed up to drive Lyft in hopes of picking up girls and such...but he begged and cried wanting to make this work. so it took a lot of therapy for me to learn how to get past and trust him again. We currently live together. The most recent event is - I found out he was at an all-nude gentlemen's club. I want to note that I don't have a problem with anyone going to strip clubs - people can do what they'd like and I understand going for bachelor parties, etc. He has for a friend's bachelor party before and I was good with that. But for him to go by himself, in the middle of the day, and spent an hour and a half...I confronted him about this and he admitted to it. He said he was sorry and he felt like he was good for a long time but had the impulse with his visual needs or something like that. I asked if he would've told me if I didn't find out, he said no... He said that there is nothing wrong with me but with him...he stayed to watch 4 girls dance and requested a private dance from one. If he felt bad, why did he stay so long? Now, I don't know how to feel about this or what to do...He apologized profusely, bought flowers, a card and made reached out to a psychologist's office to make an appointment... My feelings are a mix of sadness, confusion, anger, and some moments of "I don't give a f*ck" and will leave. I feel betrayed.But I also don't know if I'm overreacting? Is it reasonable for me to be upset? I've had some random moments where I just cry. I can barely look at him and the past weekend has been silent. Minimal small talk. He tries to kiss me but I give him my cheek...but we haven't really talked about it again...
  6. So recently I have been put into a position where I feel like I have become the self conscious and controlling wife, which I hate! I grew up in a very conservative family and though I disagreed with some of the things my parents did, one thing I always admired was their love and respect for each other. My Dad was the typical wild boy who drank and may have even done drugs from what I’ve heard and my Mother was the straight laced girl who never took a sip of alcohol in her life. Despite their differences my Dad loved her unconditionally and completely straighten himself up for her and growing up I can’t think of a single time my Dad did anything to disrespect my Mom That being said, I have always strived to be in a marriage like that. I know they are far in few, but after several failed relationships due to past BF’s cheating or me finding out about very inappropriate things that went down with other women when they were out of town, it caused me to have 0 tolerance for that in future relationships. So I made a pact with myself to never put up with a man treating me that way again. Fast forward to my marriage now, I am with a loving and affectionate husband who I would never dream of disrespecting or doing something that could potentially hurt him. However, one of the few things we have never came to agreement on even before we became engaged was how society has made bachelor and bachelorette parties an acceptable way to cheat on your significant other before tying the knot. And I told him how I felt about this before he proposed (because I knew it was coming) and I wanted to make sure he knew that’s where I stand before asking me to marry him. At the time he agreed and acted as if he understood. After he proposed we talked about doing a joint bachelor/bachelorette party out of town. Since I hadn’t met his friends before (he moved up here and all of his friends were still back in his home town) I thought it would be fun opportunity to get to know them and we could have a fun night partying together, and he agreed! Not long after our conversation about the joint parties, I find he is planning a bachelor party behind my back in Vegas and when I asked him about what we talked about, he said his brother was planning it so it was out of his control and his brother was not thrilled of the joint parties ideas. After arguing about this because I felt he lied to me about being on the same page regarding the issue, he then proceeded to tell me he just wanted one last night out with the guys to DO DRUGS and go to the club and party! Considering we have never done drugs in our relationship, I was really upset he would even tell me this thinking I wouldn’t care. Now I don’t know his friends well, but during this time his best friend was also planning a wedding the same week as ours and also planning a bachelor party in the Key West. Once again I had to FIND OUT about this one because his friend was blowing his phone up one morning while I was still in bed and he was in the shower. All I see is texts coming through about booking his plane ticket, what day he would be coming down, how there were going to be raunchy parties all weekend and he should just expect to stay high the entire time. This party was supposed to be taking place in a matter of weeks and I had heard nothing about it. Finally I broke down and became the girl I never wanted to be and told him we should just postpone the wedding so he could get his needed partying out before settling down. He didn’t want that, so I told him I wasn’t comfortable with these plans he had been making and at this point I wasn’t sure if I could marry him if he went on these trips . I was clear long before he proposed that my outlook on those types of parties were very unacceptable for people about to get married. Also I said this because about 90% of my good friends cheated on their spouses on their bachelor/bachelorette trips because they got entirely to messed up. I grew up being taught that you just don’t put yourself in situations where it’s easy to screw up by getting to drunk or high on drugs. However, I tried telling him I still wanted him to see his friends and if he wanted a little less of a hardcore party weekend with the guys I was fine with that m. But instead he just canceled his bachelor party and didn’t go on his friends. It was like if titty bars, clubs and drugs couldn’t be apart of his weekend, then he just didn’t want to have it. Now let me say I am about to turn 30 and my husband is 31. So going out of town and partying hard really doesn’t interest me like it used to. However, I have just been asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding and the bachelorette party planning began as soon as she asked me to be in the wedding. When I first mentioned it to my husband, he shot it down and acted almost resentful that I brought it up. I told him I had no intention of going since he gave up his bachelor party for me and I understood we had a mutual agreement in our marriage that participating in that wouldn’t be appropriate in our marriage. Well he completely blind sided me and then told me he honestly doesn’t care what I do. If I want to go party with the girls on the beach he isn’t worried about it. That definitely was not the response I expected. And when I asked him if he ever understood where I was coming from in the past about why I put my foot down on the parties he was planning, he completely denied all of it and said I remembered it wrong. And might I add one more time, I told him BEFORE HE PROPOSED where I stood on bachelor parties. So wether anyone thinks I’m unreasonable or controlling, I did express my feelings on the matter before he we ever made that big step. Now I don’t know what to do. I still stand in my beliefs that it’s a very bad situation for a married person to put themselves in a drunken/high situation at a club or strip club. I have thought of telling him I’m not going even though he doesn’t care because I don’t want our marriage to be possibly jeopardized by us getting to messed up out of town (at least I can be honest with myself, I know I’ll be pressured to get entirely to drunk on this trip). But I also thought of telling him I WANT him to plan a guys trip sometime soon. So maybe I can prove to him that I do trust him and I’m not controlling. I just want him to understand the bachelor party plans he’s made did not settle well with me in the past. Any thoughts? And please please don’t judge me for disagreeing with bachelor parties, I know many people have different views on the subject. I also based my decision off of how my husband has acted drunk in front of me in the past and he is a very different person. So it’s difficult for a girl to not worry at all when she knows how messed up her man acts when he’s to drunk and also doesn’t know the any of his friends he is out of town with. Any thoughts? Go on the trip or no? If I don’t go I really do want him to plan a guys trip so he doesn’t think I’m just clingy.
  7. So I am getting married in 6 months. I want nothing to do with having a stripper or going to a strip club for the bachelor party. Now my fiancé doesn't want it but her sister who is planning the party wants to have one anyway. We've talked and she says she will tell her no to doing it. But..I worry it'll happen anyway. To me it's awful close to cheating. I've heard what goes on- the guy putting his junk in women's faces, other women trying to pressure the bride into doing things with the stripper. It just seems like a bad situation to put yourself into. Am I wrong?
  8. 2 years together, a month or so apart. I was at a bachelor party last night, and she was at a hens party (different cities, different weddings) So, last night I got a drunk text from her saying "All I want to do is come home to you and it's not fair" Last night I replied with "Haha I'm drunk too! Hope those hens look after you and you're having fun (tried not to engage in drunken relationship talk, but still tried to sound friendly and happy" It's been almost 24 hours and she hasn't followed up with anything else and I haven't either. I want to know what she meant by "it's not fair"... But I shouldn't pick the scab right? Help me assuage my desire to contact her!! Thanks for reading!
  9. So, it's about three weeks out for my wedding (girl) to my bisexual fiance. Well, at the bachelor party, it slipped out that he was that way, and my brother was there, who had not known that. He was surprised, but was like it's all cool bro. He then told my sister, but they both promised they wouldn't tell my parents. Well, one of them broke that and now my Mom knows. She's a very holy person, and is telling me that "this isn't a heterosexual relationship" and "not a Covenant with God," and "how can you trust him not to go cheat with a guy and hurt you later in the marriage?" among a whole host of things. She's going to tell my Dad, who is way worse and is quick to anger. I'm not sure how to respond at this point if he wants to talk later. I just want to cry. I feel betrayed mostly, but like I did not need this stress with less than a month to go! :(
  10. I've been married for 2 years to my beautiful wife and we have a 2 month old baby. We have an amazing relationship and I always call or text my wife when I'm away from her as she has insecurity issues and constantly thinks that all men are evil. While away last week for a bachelor party, one of the night we decided to go out and my phone died around 7pm in the evening so I never sent her a text message and when I got back to house we were staying at I plugged it in and passed out. I should have used the house phone, or used a friends phone but I didn't. I tried to call her and text her the next day to explain what happened and to apologize for not calling or texting but she would not answer. It has been 4 days now and she is constantly crying and upset. She feels I broke her trust and that I might have cheated on her. The truth is that I have never and would never do that to my wife. I love her and my family so much that it wouldn't even cross my mind. Yes, I know that a lot of guys do bad stuff on bachelor parties. But I'm not one of those guys. I've tried to console her and comfort her but she has lost all trust in me and it has affected our marriage greatly. I feel terrible that she feels this way and I have no idea how to make her feel better. I've told her the absolute truth. Any advice would help me greatly.
  11. My fiancé went to his best friend bachelor party. He claimed they did not go to a strip club. He knows that I look at his phone (due to some issues in the past) and he has many group chats with his friends and he usually deletes his chats that are just one on one. But, I noticed that he kept a conversation where he messaged his friend jokingly that too bad they didn’t go to a strip club, but glad they had a good time. I can’t help but think he kept that message on purpose for me to see…why is he going out of his way to send a message like that? His best friend and him are the type that will cover for each other so I can’t help but think that message was just sent to make it seem like they did not go (knowing that I will see it) when in fact they did. Or he actually did not go and he kept that message to show it to me if I ever question him… Am I overthinking this? Guys what is your opinion? Thank you for your responses in advance.
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