iceberg21

99.9 % of the time, things will go down that road, when it starts out this way. All is not lost. You're going from one extreme to the other here, and its going to wreck you. You can't keep going from "We love eachother and everything is perfect" to "What if she doesn't feel the same?". Flip flopping back and forth is going to make you an emotional wreck. You're already coming apart at the seams here. Fact is, people do not like clinginess. It shows insecurity, neediness and all the things that turn women off. You can still turn this around. That said, you don't need to blow her off and disengage yourself from her. You just have to find the balance between being with her, and having your space. Somebody page Poco....he'll give you the best advice you'll get for free.

It sounds like you have a pretty great thing going. But, you're in danger of spoiling it. You're getting VERY emotional attached, which happens, no one can fault you for that. But you need to try and back it down a touch. Its hard, I know. But you're on the way to becoming very clingy, and nothing will destroy a relationship faster. So for your sake, you're going to need to address this and figure out a way to let her have her space. BTW, even if she doesn't say it EVERY TIME...she still loves you.

lol, true, very true. Lets face it, head is like pizza. Even when its bad, its still pretty good.

I did something similar with an ex. It was just kind of decided after 4 months that it wasn't gonna work as a romantic relationship, so I gave it about 3 months of NC and just sent her a message over msn one day. We get along great as plutonic friends, go on double dates every now and then and its turned out to be a pretty great friendship. You're circumstances might be a bit different, as it was quite a bit longer a relationship but in the end I say go for it.

Wow. That is one of the most incredible things I've ever read and almost parallels how I felt about an ex. My advice would be don't send it tho. As nice as that is and as much as I would be tempted to send that too, its best if you don't. You might end up regretting it, and chances are better that you will than won't. Very nice nonetheless.

I disagree to a point. Not saying thats not ever true, but I've dated plenty of girls who don't really break the touch barrier, then out of nowhere say "Why haven't you kissed me yet?" So I think some forwardness has to be initiated by the guy in most repects. You don't need to go all out, but I mean open a door for her, put your hand on the small of her back and "lead" her so to speak. There's plenty of things a guy can do to initiate contact without going creepy.

Best.....thread......ever. As far as oral goes, nothin beats 69. But thats obvious. Favourite has always been her on top. Facing away from me. lol, man work today is gonna go that much slower now. I've always liked doggie, but nobody I've dated likes it as much, so that ones lost on me. Also the spoon position is GREAT for lazy good morning sex (my favourite!). Weirdest place? Strangely also the funnest place was a beach. Tons of mosquistos and people driving by....lol, someone wanna send me home to think about what I've done?

Thats the best thing you can do. I've only had one relationship in which I didn't like her friends. We were just totally opposite, but I still put a smile on my face every time I saw them. Without a doubt, you want to keep your friends and still hang out with them a lot. That said, you obviously don't wanna entirely distance yourself from her and her own circle. You're gonna have to keep a good balance of spending time with your friends, still seeing her and that may include her friends. The main thing is making sure you don't alienate both your and her friends. All in all, I don't think she'd be too upset if you spent time away from her with your friends. It sounds like you've got a great thing going, and like you've got a good handle on girls. You're a helluva lot further along than I ever was at 17...or 18....or 19. Keep on truckin, you're in good shape.

Just to add a new perspective and maybe give single mothers with kids here new hope, I'm one of the guys who loves kids. I've dated 2 different women both with kids, and I loved it. Its a little tougher trying to get out and do things sometimes but was never a huge deal. I never went into trying to be a dad to the kids, and that expectation was never there on her side, and I think that is VERY important. But certainly your friend isn't in any position to never get another date.

What do you mean IF you try to continue it? Let's take a look at some things here. You were too shy to talk to her with her friends there. Okay, no big deal, most of us have been in that spot before. But then actually WENT OUT OF HER WAY to apologise to you for not having time to talk. Thats pure gold man. I'll bet all those other guys that talked to her never got an apology for her not talking to them very much. Now, the fact that she thinks its cute that you're shy is beautiful. But be careful with this one. That'll only get you so far before she thinks you don't like her. I'd venture to say she likes you as much as you like her, but you are gonna need to take advantage of this situation soon.

1. Depends on your own views, the date itself, and her views as well. If she was more or less giving you the right signals, then why not. But if you couldn't work up the nerve, no worries, been there before. 2. In my experience, no. I've been with women who just didn't understand when I was making a joke and everything kinda bottomed out from there. The humour aspect is a tough one to get over. Same with the friends thing. Its hard when you have zero in common with the people she likes to hang out with. Also been there. 3. Depends on the girl. For the most part, I'd have to say no. But if you mean taking things slow for the first 3 or 4 dates, that should be just fine. I once decided to take things slow, more for an experiment than anything, and by the time it started to pick up, she suddenly "didn't know what she wanted". So you kind of have to be careful with that one. Take your cues from her. If its too fast for you, you can let her know, but that may come back to bite you too. All depends on what you're comfortable with. A lot of what you're asking depends on the individual situation, and its hard to provide concrete answers. But if she's still down being out with you, I'd say you're in business.

Tough call. Personally, at 25, I've just recently started thinking about 'settling down'. I mean, at about 17 or 18 I guess I wanted a relationship, but how serious I couldn't say as I didn't start a relationship until I was 22. But a year and a half of that and I wanted out. Now I realise that I'm looking for more than just a fling, and I suppose that started within the last year or so. But I don't doubt it varies from person to person.

I sent a letter very similar to an ex after we broke up, basically pouring out my soul in said email feeling like you do, like I HAD to send something to feel like it was really over. I did feel better after I sent it, never got a reply as I expected, but about a week or so later, I wished with every part of me that I could take back what I wrote, because I no longer felt the way I did in the email and it was just the worst thing I could've done. Give it AT LEAST a week. If you still feel the same, send it, but for the love of mike, think about it some more.

I was recently on a date with a girl I've seen a few times now, we ended up going out for supper. It wasn't a buffet or anything, but we both ate A LOT. We were both complaining about it hurting. But it was alright cuz it gave me a good excuse to ask her to go for a walk with me to walk off the fullness. But assuming one isn't making a gigantic pig outta themselves, I don't think its a bad thing. If you can eat lots and manage to not get any food on yourself or the surrounding area, I say go it.

I'd say that when you hit the "comfort zone". Its not a bad thing, unless he is flat out refusing to go anywhere with you. Personally thats how I tend to get (not the refusing part..) after a while and I'd just sooner spend a couple nites on the couch than going out. Definetly settling down, and like I said, I don't think its a bad thing.

Actually thats a helluva question. Sometimes I'll write basically the same thing, tweak it a bit to the specific person and maybe half or less will respond. I don't know exactly what works but I'd say you've got a good jumping off point. I actually find that more women contact me first than actually respond when I email first. lol, sorry for the lack of help, but I think what you're doing is good. I actually like to try and throw as much humour into my emails or whatever the first time. Something of course that translates well in text, and just mix it in with, like you said, a question or a comment about what they said in their profiles.

Curves are NOT a bad thing. I like to keep myself in shape, and I think its fair to expect that a prospective romantic interest do the same. Do they have to be 'model thin'? No way. Nor do they have to look like aerobics instructors, because I understand that its not possible for some due to genetics. I don't think its unreasonable to want someone to look their best for both parties concerned. I'm pretty sure women feel the same way about men too. Trust me, the pressure isn't JUST on women to look good. In closing, no, all men do not want women to look like runway models (I personally think most of them need to eat a cheeseburger anyway, no offense to any runway models in here).

Well the weight gain thing is not a big deal. My weight routinely fluctuates sometimes by as much as 5 pounds within a day or 2, sometimes overnight. AntiLove_SuperStar is right. Its just water weight and not a big deal at all.

a) unquestionably do this b) you ARE interested right? c) see above d) if "a" fails, do this e) you have to be VERY careful with this one. Depends on her interest level. If she likes you enough, she MIGHT try harder to get you to notice her, or she may decide you're not worth it f) Do you normally over analyze things?

I don't see a problem with it. You're pretty close in age. I'm 25 and dating a 19 year old right now and nobody has a problem with it, so there ya go I say go to it, and have fun.

Isn't that the absolute best feeling? I remember when things ended for me last year, and just one random day after being pretty down, the realisation hit me and it was like "Holy Sh!t, I'm actually over it!" Tremendous breakthrough, its great to hear.

It sounds to me like rather than actively seeking out women with similar interests you are just waiting for her to come along. While that may happen, its not the best way to approach what you seek. You may need to try and find other things that are interesting to you, and be a little bit flexible. As the above poster said, odds are VERY slim that you will find a 15 year old girl who will ever be interested in physics and that sort of thing. Best of luck in your search tho.

It sounds to me like you really don't want to end this current relationship due to the fact that you've had so many break-ups. That whole break up and make up business is always rough, but in the end, if you can't trust him, you know you're better off breaking up for good. Ultimately that'll be less painful but that might take time. Thats the only way things will start to get better for you, and you know you deserve better. The fact that you DO deserve better, and you recognise this means that you WILL find someone who can provide it for you. Also, if you're not sure if you're the only one dealing with this sort of thing, all you need to do is read a few threads and you'll clearly see that there are a LOT of people who share your pain.

Fair enough, but you could drive yourself crazy with questions like that. Do you call her every day to make sure nobody has asked her out since the date? Obviously that would be pretty ridiculous, but how else do you know? What if she had another date later that nite? I don't mean to be a jacka$$, but you can't go thinking like that. Not only does it scream INSECURE, but like I said, you'd go crazy.

Sunday to wednesday is perfect timing. You don't want to wait any longer or you may appear uninterested. This is definetly not too soon to call her. Definetly don't hesitate. You've given it enough time so as not to appear desperate or obsessed or anything, but now you run the risk of appearing uninterested. I say go to it.