dylan saves

thanks for the quick replies. random strangers give the best advice.

i had a nice date with a girl on sunday afternoon. it is now wednesday night, and i'd like to see what she's up to. i'm afraid calling too soon might make me seem desperate. what's the word on the board?

this gentleman knows what he is talking about. breakups hurt, but things always work out in the end. if you're new to this site, don't question it, NC is hard but it works.

you make perfect sense, RC. but what should i say to her? should i just tell her flat out that i just need more time?

i'm sure this has been discussed to death in this forum, but here it goes anyway... i ran into my ex last night at a bar. it was a bit awkward, but we were friendly. when she left, i approached her to say goodbye and she asked me if i wanted to get together sometime. in many ways this would be harmless. but i am still not over her (she dumped me about a month ago) and I am on day nine of a self-imposed no contact. it was hard enough to see her at the bar, and i suspect meeting her for coffee might create big setbacks in my effort to get over her. but at the same time, i'd like to meet her for coffee. i still love her. what do all you guys think?

so i got through this okay. but man, passing her house every day just drives me insane. i refuse to worry/think about who she's with tonight, or where she is. day 8 and i'm gonna be great. every day i make up these stupid rhymes for my NC. lame, i know. so... before we started dating my ex and i had this thing where we would leave flowers and things in eachother's mailboxes. i have the urge to put some flowers in hers. i think this would be a nice gesture, show that i still care. but would this be a big turnoff in her eyes? does it make me seem needy? woul dit just push her away? and while you're at it, why do the most trivial things become such big issues once you've split from someone? thanks. -ds.

yeah, i guess it's all fun and games until her new boyfriend shows up. i think it's probably better to sit back and heal, and let her come to me. and if she doesn't, oh well.

that's a good question, i guess. i'm not sure why i'm in NC. i guess because it seems like the easiest way to move on, and to get through this hard period. but i'd like to be her friend still. we were still quite close initially after the split, and I liked it. Though it was painful at times. but was it painful because we had just broken up, or was it painful because i was not letting myself move on, and just torturing myself? i know i can be strong if i see her, and not talk about the relationship and just be friendly, and i would love to do this,but i'm scared it will just send me right back to square one. ugh. this sucks.

so my ex lives nextdoor, i can see when she's home from the light in her window. tonight i had the idea that i should throw some stones at her window and ask her if she'd like to hang out. i know i shouldn't, but it could be really fun, just like old times. right? i know its wrong, i'm on day seven of no contact, but it would be so fun just to hang out again. the breakup was amicable, about three weeks ago. what do you guys think?

should I even talk to her? or just smile and say hi and leave it at that? it seems like that would be awkward, because we're still kind of close. i feel like i should just chat with her as if we were friends. but will that ruin the effect of the no-contact? man, such panic.

what should I do? i'm going to see some bands with a mutual friend of ours. we've been broken up three weeks, and I'm on day 6 of NC. should I not go? or should I just go and play it cool, keep my emotions in check. be fun, seemingly happy and all that? any advice or anyone who has been in this situation let me know.

man, i'm going through the exact same things as you guys. i'm on day 6 of NC that I initiated after an unfortunate incident of me pleading with her. it's tough. really tough. some days are better than others, and today wasn't a good one. it's tough when your ex LIVES NEXT DOOR. it was great when we were dating, but now, it's a very awkward. she's also good friends with some of my roomates, so she's over here alot. which kills me because I just wish she was spending time with me, not them. but i just stay civil, say hi and make small talk if i see her, give no sign of hurting and then go about my business. what else can one do? just wait it out. i'm gonna go to school now, so that'll keep me away from the phone. we all just have to stay strong. thanks you guys.

thanks, man. that's a good point and something I haven't really considered. i don't want things to get 'weird' between us just because i'mnot talking to her. but at the same time, I need to move on, and get over the breakup, and seeing the other person is not a good way to do it.

i should clarify that this breakup is still really hard for me. though i want to be friends at some point, i know that that's not possible until I can clear my head, and get my emotions in check. i'm just worried that by the time that happens, she'll no longer want to be friends, or will have moved on.

hey. i'm new here, but have been reading posts for about a week now. just taking time to hear and learn from everyone's experiences. so here's my situation, and I'd love some advice. i think most of my friends and roomates are getting sick of hearing about it... I was broken up with about three weeks ago. We had a very intense relationship, and were very close. We never fought, and everything was really good. then we split. it seemed out of the blue then, but now I have had time to reflect on what may have caused the breakup. i respect her decision to leave the relationship, though it kills me inside. i asked her if we could still be friends, and she seemed surprised, but was happy to say yes. despite my heartache, we left on good terms. about a two weeks later, we started hanging out again, just as friends, not bringing up the relationship, no begging, just fun times. i could tell there was still a connection there. so the next day I asked her about it, which probably was a mistake. she said she didn't think that we could work things out and that she hadn't intended to lead me on. it was nice to get some closure, but hard to come to terms with the fact that it is time to move on. i've now decided that NC is the best route to go. just to heal myself. but the friendship we had going just after the breakup was really good, and i'm afraid that I may jeopordize that by not contacting her. i'd really like to stay friends, if our former relationship is not salvagable. so what should I do? as i side note, instead of constantly wanting to see her/ be with her, now i am scared of seeing her, afraid that's it's going to be awkward and horrible and hurtful. she lives nextdoor, and is really good friends with two of my roomates, so she's hard to avoid. i get so anxious when i see her, and though i keep our encounters breif and positive, it still drives me insane. and i don't want any of that, I just want to be friends.