iceberg21
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Everything posted by iceberg21
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Awesome post, very uplifting. Happy birthday and have a blast tonite
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Had to Get rid of my phone
iceberg21 replied to Diggitydave's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Absolutely. I moved to a new city, met a girl a few months after, and being new and not knowing too many people, I fell pretty hard for her. Naturally I figured things were gonna be great, had delusions of grandeur and was thinking with my heart and not my head. It ended, I was crushed. It took me many months to really feel like myself, as I really thought she was IT. But I made a full recovery, and its now been 8 months since it all went down. So hang in there, no doubt it will get better. -
Continuing with your analogy there, careful how MUCH you water. Hanging on to the ideal that this girl MAY come back might be damaging to you. Based on her email it seems like she just realised that you may not be what she is after, and that is okay, it happens. There's no reason to shut her completely out of your life if you feel that way about her, just don't hold her on a pedestal because of the way you feel. Just be careful to not set yourself up for a big letdown. I do wish you the best of luck tho.
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My mother mentioned to me that men need more time...
iceberg21 replied to Memi's topic in Relationship Advice
I think you're mother is pretty close to the mark. I've fallen hard for women before, one or 2 within maybe a few weeks or a month of dating them. But I've been asked things like 'where is this relationship going", and answered 'I don't know" because I really truly didn't. Well that was taken as a bad sign and that was that. So I think in some instances its definetly true. Sometimes I don't think about those things until its brought up, and at that point there's no way I could give an answer one way or the other right at that moment. lol, apparently that doesn't sit well with a lot of women. -
I am a huge advocate of online dating. I had trouble meeting women for the longest time and got into online dating and it helped tremendously. I found it helped me not only find great women for both romantic and plutonic relationships, but it also developed my ability and confidence in the 'real world'. Its really a great tool, and if you're having trouble finding someone compatible with you, it should work great. You have absolutely nothing to lose by giving it a go. Best of luck to you!
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You miss 100% of the shots you never take. -Wayne Gretzky
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This CAN be true. I disagree as I've had all kinds of success with online dating, but no doubt some people are messed up and do things like that for kicks. I see no reason to go on the assumption that its all bad and discount it all together tho. As for the thread starters question, if you're both okay with it, I'd say do it, but BE CAREFUL. I'd suggest not getting into anything too serious, because not only are you dealing with a minor, but you have to take into consideration that she is only 15 in the end. Meaning you can't really expect a 'serious' relationship from someone who in all likelyhood would have a tough time committing to such. I don't mean to offend any 15 year olds here, as I'm just speaking generally, but being that she's just starting to change and develop, she's gonna be pretty different in the next couple of years. But I guess it all depends on what you want out of it. I have twin 16 year old nieces, so I know how unpredictable their minds can be
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I actually went thru kinda the same thing about 4 months ago. I was seeing this girl for about 3 months before things started to get really serious, because I'd just come out of a relationship and wanted to take it slow(took it so slow we were almost going backwards). Well about a month after it started to get serious, and about a week after a GREAT nite at a hotel for her work party, she decided we should be just friends. Like you (threadstarter) I was totally shocked, didn't see it coming, and just generally blown away. I actually haven't talked to her since, as I'm not one to be friends with an ex, but thats just me. So I never did find out exactly what went wrong or why she ended it, but I just let it go, decided that it would be better to just leave it at 'friends'. Anyway, moral of the story is that these things happen, and you'll likely have to get by as she probably won't even be able to explain why she did what she did. Sorry man, I know its a kick in the junk.
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lol, well I guess I did get away pretty lucky, and I realised that after 2 months of trying to get anything back it was petty and basically a waste of my time. We had actually planned on moving in together at one point, thank the good Lord it was cut of at the knees at $75, lol. Some people huh.
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I'm actually not sure why I'm still holding on to that stuff to be honest. But a million percent I'm over it all. I just really don't have a good reason for having it here still. I suppose it does give the impression that I'm still hanging on to a part of her, but thats not the case. I was keeping it originally as collateral for my stuff, but that idea has long since faded, and I just never got around to ditching it. Who knows, maybe subconsciously there are underlying reasons why?
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Hey alright, 2 replies. lol, yeah I'm a dork. Anyway, yeah I let it slide, cuz I knew I'd drive myself crazy trying to get it back. As far as her clothes go, I actually never though of donating them, thats a tremendous idea. Except for one that she used as a night shirt. It fits me awesome. As for the rest of em, anyone needs new clothes?
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Bit of a backstory, the relationship ended almost a year ago now, and I've long since moved on, so thats not an issue. While we were still dating, she borrowed books from the library using my card, which I knew about, that was fine. Well, the books ended up being overdue, basically right after it ended. I kept getting emails from the library telling me that I owed them money and such, and I'd forward them to her. She kept promising to take them back, and she did, but I still owed the library 75 bucks. Thats right, $75 for BOOKS. They eventually mailed me a letter threatening collection agencies being after be, blah blah blah. So I paid it. That was ummm, last august. The last time I emailed her was in august, got one back saying that she planned to pay me back when she had money. I knew she wouldn't, and I let it go. If anyone is still reading to this point, if you were in or have been in a similar situation, what would you have done? (or if you'd just like to put your 2 cents in, be my guest) PS> still has my discman and some movies, but have have a bunch of her clothes and cd's, lol.
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I think it depends on the type of person that he is. For me, I'd LOVE to know that my g/f is the object of desire for many men, but knowing that she's faithful enough to blow them off and stick around. But withoout knowing what type of person he is, its tough to give advice. The concensus here seems to be not to say anything, and that might be best.
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lol....I dated a girl for a year and half and it was the same way. I never did get used to it, and with all the girls I dated before, after and currently, that hasn't been an issue. I think it all comes down to how experienced the 2 folks making out are. Practice makes perfect, and if thats the worst part of the whole business, you're in pretty good shape. Have fun!
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Its actually rather refreshing to see someone not necesarily tell some what they wanna hear, rather what they need to hear. So many people beat around the bush and day things to please someone, even tho it doesn't necessarily help. In this case, it doesn't. So, nicely done. As far as the topic goes, looks do matter to an extent. If you can't be physically attracted to someone, you don't have much to go on. But that being said, I'm what I would consider myself to be rather average. Acne that may not be as bad as I think it is, but its there, and drives me crazy. For whatever reason, very very cute girls still find me attractive. Not the 450 pound Springer women as the threadstarter suggested either. Its hard not to judge someone based of their looks. I've done it, and regretted it because I think I've missed out on knowing some really great women. In the end, looks are NOT the end all be all of attracting people. If you're counting yourself out at just 24, Mr. Threadstarter, you might as well give up. SHOULD you give up? NO! You choose your attitude, and you've chosen poorly. I used to think the exact same way, and I don't know what changed for me, but something did and I'm only 25, and no better looking than you. But my mindset is not the same, and its made a huge difference for me in the last 4 years, not only with women but just in life in general. There's a lot of good advice in here, so don't blow it off as something that "just won't work for you". If you've tried it before, you're not trying hard enough.
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I think I now know what a heart attack feels like...
iceberg21 replied to Bambi's topic in Emotions and Feelings
lol....whats really sad is that I graduated 7 years ago and that stuff STILL doesn't make any sense to me, so I know how you feel. Chin up, you'll get it. -
Hang in there...it does get better
iceberg21 replied to rangerider's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
You know, its funny how you never actually realise that there are a lot of people who go thru the same feelings and things that you deal with after a breakup. I mean, of course I knew it happened to everyone, but reading the things on this site really makes me realise it. lol, reasonably certain that doesn't make much sense, sorry bout it. I only wish I'd known about this site after one particularly bad end to a relationship, but I still managed to get thru it all, and I'm glad I know this site is around if it happens again. In a way, I think that particular breakup was the best thing that could've happened to me, and made me realise a lot about myself, and I know I'm a MUCH better person than I was. Now I'm just rambling, but I honestly do think there are positives to be found in most breakups, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, make no mistake. /end ramble -
To tell you the truth, I don't know how some guys do it either. One thing that works like a hot damn is internet dating. Its worked wonders for my dating life. Even tho its still considered pretty dorky, and maybe a desperation tactic, that couldn't be further from the truth. Even if it doesn't happen right away, you meet a few girls and you'll have the confidence to talk to them before you know it. Most women care very little for looks, and trust me, even with a less than stellar complexion, it happens. The gorgeous girls are just as lonely as us, and they even have the same confidence issues. My advice, give the internet a go, good things will happen!
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I've been reading posts on this site for a while and felt compelled to post. I used to be extremely shy, and during high school I always DESPERATELY wanted a girlfriend. I've never considered myself especially attractive, and a lot of that was due to acne. Its an * * *-kicker. I'm 25 now and am still dealing with it. But you know what? I've found that it doesn't really matter. My first real relationship started when I was 22 and since then I've had all kinds of luck with women that I still consider out of my league. So trust me, looks don't matter as much as you might think. My attitude changed and its worked wonders for me. You know what the best feeling is in the world? Walking into a public place with a girl and having all the guys look at you thinking" How in the blue hell did he and up with HER?" So chin up fellas, it IS possible.