iceberg21

David DeAngelo has some very interesting ideas. Some of what he says I don't necessarily agree with, but some of the things he does as far as self improvement, and things like that are pretty helpful. He's a reasonably intelligent man, and a lot of what he gets into goes far beyond picking up women. Worth checking out, and might enable you to get a handle on what it is you feel you're missing.

This is true, those of use with tattoos are just cooler. lol, yeah I'm kidding, but SOMEONE had to say it.

Big BIG fan of tattoos. Got my first one 4 years ago, and I can't get enough. I've got most of my left arm starting about 3 inches above my elbow covered. I dig tattoos on a girl. Whether its something small on their ankle or a whole sleeve, it doesn't matter(providing it didn't come from prison lol), I think it looks fantastic. I wouldn't say mine mean anything specifically, I just love the idea of tattoos, the artistry and the whole experience. I'm okay with the fact that they may not be "fashionable" in 10 years, thats not why I did it. I've also accepted the fact that one day I might be wrinkled, and they might look ridiculous. I expect to be senile some day, and maybe it'll be fun to look in the mirror and wonder how all those colours got on my arm, and why it won't come off. Tattoos; You either love em or hate em. There ain't no third direction.

Brad Pitt and Fat Bastard both approach you, who do you pick?

Basically I approached it as a friendly hang-out. I just felt it was pointless to go into it expecting more than some friendly "getting to know you better chit chat". There was never any conversation prior to make me think it would be anything else. I have no doubt it could potentially become more, but I have no intention of moving slower/faster than either of us are comfortable with. Wrong approach?

lol, okay, okay....maybe "hate" is a wee bit strong, but a ringing cell phone is a great way to get out of something you don't wanna be in. Basically my point is just that if she were desperate enough, she could've cut things way short. Yes, I'm horrible for disecting things (primarily women and what they may or may not be thinking), and I thought it might be fun to include other's opinions. I certainly do appreciate the input, and yous guys are pretty much on par with what I thought. I'm pretty confident we'll be going out again, and if not...whats another 3 months? :splat: Thnaks again.

Alright, so had a bit of mini-date (strictly friendly terms) with a girl last nite and it seemed to go well. We ended up going for an hour and a half walk by the river. Even tho I'm *reasonably* certain I know where I stand, here's what I'd like a few other opinions on. Firstly, her cell rang, she looked at it and shut it off. Obviously if she hated me, she would've answered it. Being that she didn't, sign of being more interested in talking with me, or just being polite? Secondly, she had to be somewhere at 8. We'd been walking for about 45 minutes, and it was almost 7:30. She was fully aware of the time, in fact I suggested we turn around so she wouldn't be late. She was willing to keep walking and said her friends would wait. (Kinda the big kicker for me) Is this just being nice to someone who hasn't been with a girl in 3 months, or possibly genuine interest? lol, I feel like a teenager. Opinions/thoughts welcome and much appreciated.

That stuff did wonders for me. Mine was getting to a point where it looked like I had a rash on my face. Horrible. Bought 5% benzoyl peroxide, and within a week the "rash" look was gone and I couldn't believe the results. Now aside from a couple spots a month, I'm clear. I pay 6 bucks CDN per tube, which lasts me almost 2 weeks. I use that stuff religiously. Plus a skin cleanser which lasts me at least a month. I use it 3 times a day, sometimes 4. 2.5% or 5% is ideal, just because you can use more and not have the dry-out that 10% gives you, and get equal or better results than the stronger stuff. If you haven't tried it, please do. Since we're on the topic, anyone know any non-surgical treatments for minor acne scarring?

One girl decided to use some sort of "numbing" gel or something for oral. It was mint flavour. I don't know if she used too much, but I actually had to tell her to stop because it burned so badly. EASILY the most pain I've ever had down there. End result was me booking it to the bathroom and splashing cold water on it. lol. So not funny at the time.

You guys rock. I've been telling him for the last couple days that he should definetly do this. I think a big part of the reason is that he briefly "dated" a girl we used to work with, REALLY fell hard for her and when she decided it wasn't gonna work it killed him. I know he is trying to avoid that same thing again, and from what he tells me this girl really digs him. They even talked on the phone for SEVEN hours the other nite. He usually listens to me, but can be very stubborn about things when he's set in his ways. He's talking about going some time this year if he even goes (his words, not mine) and I think it would be just awesome if he went. He doesn't really have any friends (I moved from there 2 years ago) and just needs something like this. I just see it going really well for him, but he pretty pessimistic and assumes the worst. I guess I'll keep on truckin and try my best to convince him to go. Thanks again, did I mention you all rock?

Hi. I have a buddy who's had no serious relationships, and is in an interesting LDR situation and I'd like to help him. He's been speaking with this woman who lives better than 2000 miles away (he's in canada, she's in florida) for almost 2 years now, both online and on the phone. Recently she's invited him to visit her. Now he's the type thats VERY shy, and his lack of relationship experience doesn't help him right now. I'm trying to help him out as best I can, but I've never had any kind of LDR so there's only so much I can help with. He's mostly concerned with things going really well, then having to deal with this kind of distance and all the things that go along with it. Which is a vaild point but I guess what I'm wondering, is for those who've had any experiences with it, what the heck can I say to him? I know he really wants to go, but I suspect he'll end up bailing on the idea because this is a pretty big deal and not something he'd normally do. I'd really like to see him go through with it because he needs some excitement and adventure in his life. Anyone have any magical words of wisdom that will remove all shred of doubt for him? Or just anything supportive that I can tell him so he leans more towards going than not going? Opinions welcome as always.

I'm confused. Clearly you've made a conscious decision that you would just as soon be single and "happy" with having more money, freedom etc. Yet I still suspect its because thus far Plan "A" has failed, and you felt you needed to rationalize the backup plan. Why is anyones guess, personally I think you're tapping out a little too early, but thats me. Where my confusion lies is this - No later than yesterday, you created a thread on how to ask someone out, and continue to post in it, while at the same time declaring that you've given up all hope in this one. Not that that's a bad thing, because as far as I can tell you're still trying to figure out which way to go. I'm not gonna say that "everybody gets hurt, but they move on", etc etc because obviously everyone has varying degrees at which they deal with and hopefully get over said hurt. I just wouldn't be so quick to try and rationalize this ideal of being single and being happy, because clearly it WON'T make you happy. Happier than being hurt again? Sure. But as you said, you need to figure out whether the risks outweigh the rewards. I'd just do a little more figuring.

First off, I appreciate all the different points. shes2smart - I wholeheartedly agree. When I was with my first serious girlfriend, sure at some point I would've married her. Later on, not so much then I kind of realised I wasn't ready to be in a long term relationship at 21. Granted my friend is 24 and has an established career doing very well for himself, which I didn't at 21. Its just that being in the dating world has taught me so much about myself and want I want in a prospective wife. Even just in this last year I've gone thru some pretty bad short term relationships. I guess part of my concern is that if this ends up going bad for him, he's not going to have any idea how to cope with it. Thats definetly not the case. As I said, I really haven't had the chance to get to know her all that well, so a lot of what I get is heresay. It may not be like it was, but she kept him on a very short leash. ex. If he was going out for a beer or whatever after a hockey game, he'd better call. She would tend to get upset if he in fact drank said beer. It just seemed like a bad situation to me. One thing I did forget to mention is that they moved VERY fast at the beginning. Within 2 weeks of dating, they got an apartment and moved in together. At some point within the last 6 months or so, they've bough a house. So this is all inside of the 2 year mark, just after their 1 year in fact. I'm glad they're holding off the wedding for another year, but I don't know, I guess I'm just looking out for my buddy and just hoping for his sake that it works. But I'm sorry to say, I have my doubts. And believe me, nothing would make me happier then to have them prove me wrong. Thnaks again for all your replies and some very interesting points.

I'd like some opinions on a situation my buddy has got himself in to. He met this girl almost about a year and a half ago, and I just found out they are engaged to be maried next july. I moved away from my friends shortly before they started dating so I haven't had much time to get to know her, but she seems alright, if a bit controlling. Anyway, I digress. Obviously I'm not gonna judge him or her on getting married, I think its great that they found eachother, but I'm a bit concerned that at least HE hasn't has the chance to experience the whole dating life and that sorta thing. Personally, looking back I would be in a bad place now if I married my first long term g/f. What I'm wondering is how many of you would marry or have married your first gf/bf? Or just whether generally speaking its a good idea. Please note that I've accepted this and am certainly not going to try and talk him out of this when I see him again, but I just wish he had a bit more experience. Thanks.

As long as its not too heavy and in the shower, I have zero problem with it. Shower sex is fantastic and its a great excuse. Plus, who wants their bedroom looking like a murder scene?

For all you southern US women that I speak to on the phone on a daily basis, your accents are far and away my favourite. Followed closely by Austrailian.

I HATE anesthesia. When I had mine done, I just had them stick me with a needle. Not only would being put under cost me an arm and a leg, those are precisely the after/side effects I didn't wanna deal with. The only downside to getting the needle is being aware of whats going on and hearing your own teeth being ripped from your head. lol, and thats a pretty big downside. But I was able to drive myself to and from the surgeons office, and was no more useless after than I was before. As far as the original questions go, I think the 'loose' stitches are just fine. Could just be the end wasn't cut off completely?

heh. That sounds familiar. Been there before. Its really too bad that you sometimes have to go thru a breakup in order to find out the way someone really is. As for the original question, I suppose I've never been there. Thought so a few times but as it turns out I haven't felt what I view "love" as being. As far as being 24 and never been in love, don't worry. I'm 25 (26 very soon) and pretty sure I've never gone beyond infatuation, and I have zero problem with it.

I dated a girl with a 3 year old a little while ago. The first time I met her daughter it was REALLY awkward for me, because like you, I wanted her to like me. What worked for me was to just let her come to me. I just sat back, never got anywhere near the girl I dated while the kid was around just because I didn't want to impose on that little girl's "territory" if you will. Within just a few times of seeing her (the child), she LOVED me. But I didn't force the issue, I just hung back and let her come to me when she was comfortable, so that would be my suggestion.

Its not really a case of "smothering" I don't think. It just seems, from what you describe that she's enjoying playing with you. When things get a little closer, she pulls away. I think she's just having fun toying with you, and you're making it easy for her. All that chai means is that you should make it less easy for her, don't be all over her as much when you're together. Just see how she reacts. It might surprise you.

This sounds familiar. Trust me, he's thought about it every time you two say goodnite, hello, thank you, etc. Before he sees you, he tells himself he's going to do it THIS time for sure. Then.....he bails at the last second. Then he kicks himself all the way home, says next time. Rinse. Repeat. Moral of the story is, he wants to do it, just needs a kick in the * * * * *. Thats where you come on in. As syrix said, you'll have to TELL him.

Actually this happened to me once. My g/f at the time was going down on me, and she stopped for just a second at the WORST possible time. Well I had one helluva orgasm, and to my shock...nothing came out. I thought I was broken, lol. I tried awfully hard to re-create it but it never happened. If this is the key to that, I am a very happy man. Pretty sure you (in your all knowing wisom) should make a thread on how to leave work early now

Thnaks everyone. I don't necessarily find her comments sleazy tho. Perhaps its the way she says them, but in the end she knows what she's saying and I agree that they are perhaps inappropriate. I guess I was just curious if anyone thought whether it was just harmless flirting or if there was something behind it. Maybe its just the way our personalities are and the fact that we get along the way we do (and perhaps a bit about the way I feel about her) that makes me think there's something more there. If only she was less....married. lol. Anyway, thanks for all the input.

Something thats been on my mind for a bit and may be long winded.... This woman I work with (19 years old) is married. We're friends and get along very well. I'm just wondering if it isn't a little TOO well sometimes. Here's my question. Assuming you're happily married, when do certain comments to a male friend go beyond 'playful' and might mean something more? Today, she came and visited me at my desk, and dropped a whiteboard brush on my desk leaving some residue on it. Well she blows it off, and I said "Well now you're just blowing it all over the place", and she says "Yeah I like blowing". She didn't say it provacatively or anything, but I looked at her with an exaggerated look of shock, she gave me a smirk and walked away. As I was leaving, I stopped by her desk to chat a bit, and was checking out some files on my boss' desk, she mentioned that she thought I was leaving I said (without thinking and not meaning what I said) "I'm looking at my thing". She mumbled something, so I asked her to repeat it and she said "Did you need some help?" Once again.... Then I said between that and your comment earlier, I think I'd better go home. She said, "Yeah, or you might get me in trouble" Now its not like I mind, I just assume its all in fun and doesn't make me uncomfortable, but could it be possible that there's something there? Or are these just the comments of someone who likes to joke around? I feel a certain "vibe" when she says those things that makes me feel there's more behind them then just being playful. This sorta stuff goes on between us pretty often. PS. I am pretty attracted to her, but I'm not about to get involved with a) a married woman, and b) a co-worker