LotusFlower

they think the way we think is weird... women use both sides of their brains when they comunicate and a man only uses one--generaly-- so I've read. They'd rather shut us up quickly and not listen to our long explenations, it is a lazy response, sometimes a lying tactic, and also habitual. Its rather annoying.

Never- never.

find your gifts and your strengths and look at it as if you are interviewing the job, not that the job is interviewing you. Interview at the jobs that are less interesting first for practice...and challenge yourself, make a game out of it. try to ask as many questions as possible and speak slowly, loud and clear. And practice telling people what is good about you, like..."I would be an asset because not only I'm reliable, a self starter, and blah blah blah... =) Good luck

we all need closure and if you don't have that then go get it... its your right to atleast try to feel closure. However, if you get the husbands response or no response, dont' be upset, know that it truly is not meant to be...no fairy tale there for you. If you get a response...take it calmly and slowly and don't jump the gun with all your years of love's frustration. I sometimes wish my exes would contact me to let me know how they are.

He could also have been burned by the ex...and is trying to approach it properly with caution. Let him be, be his friend if you can but don't chase after him. Otherwise move on completely if beeing his friend is too hard...and express how you feel if need be.

Oh, boy well when I was a teenager...haha.... I've had well over 10 sexual relationships, 1 ONS, and no STDs...ever. I think it depends at what stage they where overly sexualy active if they where...if they are having sex left and right with whoever, then there is a confidence or ego issue. I personaly feel weird if my partner has been with over 30 and under 4. I dont' worry about STds with my partners because i pick them carefully and use protection. I ask questions...like when did you get checked, and who have u slept with since then... etc. If they have dated more then 2 at once, more then once... then I am weary. If you love and trust someone...their past shouldn't matter though.

Cut the bull and when you do talk to him, tell him that when he logs off like that its rude and that your cool if he just says he doesn't want talk right now. Men like women who stick up for themselves...TACTFULLY. Also... you cant change people... you said you keep trying to find angles to change him...while your doing that, mr. perfect could be walking right on by. I'd move past the love-interest, or keep it to yourself if he is not responding to you that way. He may have found someone else that is distancing him, or he feels you are too needy and not listening to his stance. Discipline...when he is online, don't say anything unless he starts the conversation, and if he does, get off shortly after. Men like the chase. If he doesn't start the conversations after awhile...then move on completley, he has lost interest.

I was kidding on the title. I am single, which is new to me. I have an older man, about 13 years older then me, attractive, smart, etc. that lives down the street. I live in a small town and work allot...not much meat around here. He is super nice, maybe too nice... we are starting to do things together, take workshops, hike etc. I think he likes me in a more then friend way, but because he is older...I cannot read him. He doesn't make quarky flirts at me...just kind and generous gestures that could also be taken as friendship. I know that I starve for geographicaly close friends, men and women... and maybe he does too? I dont' want to ask him, cuz I am unsure how I feel about him...age beeing an issue to me, as I want kids etc...but I want to know. We are running about 2-3 days or nights we hang out a week right now, for mm... about a month. And how do you know if someone is a good candidate to be just a sex-friend? I may not be ready for commitment, or want to be sure not to have emotional attatchment right now

say hi when u can.. compliment her... talk to her when the opportunity arises...but don't act like ur in love w/ her or stalking her. Smile from a distance, but not like a luv struck nerd. who cares about popularity...dont' think that because people are popular they are out of yoru league...instead...think about it like this..."well... i like her but damnit she is popular and popular chicks are high maintenance and stuck on themselves". Reverse thinking...think that you are better then any clique...and dont' rule out the nerdy, odd, smart girls...they usually grow up beeign better looking and more successful =)

going to the doctor is a good answer...and i think you'll find it usefull all around. In my opinion, a break from tampons is good anyways...we have a natural process that happens. I have noticed that women who do not use tampons, have easier periods, and less yeast infections, and are also more intune with their bodies sometimes...that is just my own observance with friends etc.

Hey...want to thank you guys, I've enjoyed reading the responses. Yes, yes... once a cheater always a cheater...that one is not true, lets just get that out of the way. We would be doing the world such a dis-service if we thought people couldn't change. Hes not married, just want to clear that up...i would never be involved w/ a married man... i don't think...I'm surprising myself with this one! Haha! Also want to clear up that i don't think cheating is 'normal', there was sarcasm in that sentence...but actually it is more prominent these days. I think the not wanting to committ on my part is a good suggestion. I appreciate those of you who saw that...using the online thing as an assured distance and safety. Also the alls fair in love and war... good call, maybe I am subconsciously trying to even out the cosmos. What I would be interested in is a man's perspective that has done this...or been in this situation. I am going to stand up for our connection however, and our deep friendship that we have developed. Again...you guys are helping me lean towards just friendship with this man...but I do like and enjoy his company. We both felt as if God has brought us together...his mother was dying when we met, and did shortly after. We have actually learned alot together...even alot about cheating in a sense. I just wish that I could help him to be happy as he is actually a very genuine (regardless of the situation), and very talented individual.

i agree with helo...chicks like mind games.. unfortunately. She was bored, lonely, or missing you.

Its all lessons...some are short lived others long...take what you can and move on.

You know, its true...the not so cool end up being better lookign and more successfull alot of the time... don't close off opportunity because your worried about what your narrow minded friends think. Its the one who goes out and takes risks and who knows themselve that is admired. So shes pretty...she also didnt' want to feel like an object of display...she is also smart...made you think about her alot didn't she!!!...

I think financialy ties in more then physicaly...Ive seen them around eachother, in person. We met because we felt we owed it to ourselves to see if it was love. I guess the best thing is just to emotional withdrawl myself down to a level of friendship.

If she is down right flirting in front of you and it is more then her natural careless kindness (i'm like that and its not flirting--and it includes hugs)...but if you know that she is going beyond her natural social tendencies, then its a sign that you are not meeting her needs and she is looking beyond you. Move fast...throw her a curve ball then. you have to keep your mates attention, thats life...go places where u dont' feel shy and crack a funny joke that is not to harsh about and infront of this guy...let him know you think hes a punk in front of her...but subtle so he doesn't kick ur * * *...

how about..."right...my ex didn't think i was so nice when i burried her in the backyard"...or..."and I see your a horrible judge of character" or for the nice guy who is really a nice guy... "well, when you want to have a family and your stranded on teh street in your leathers when some long haired manly A-hole left you, you'll remember how nice I am" or..."Yeah, my mother raised me right, didn't yours?"

i believe in the 6 month window of passion in the beginning, or after the 2 year mark when you know eachothers patterns through highs and lows...

Its possible that she is not physicaly attracted to you, but she still loves you. She may also want to feel available. The best thing is to just be her friend, and not treat her any differently then you would other friends. Actualy respect her for creating the space that she needs, but don't be at her beck and call... Backing off, often makes things seem more clear...if she wants you that way again, she'll let you know. And if she does want you sexualy again, let her know that it isn't fair to you to be used when its convenient.--- is my sponteneous suggestion. =)

Atleast you are aware that it consumes your energy. I believe that is all it is, is redirecting where you decide to put your thoughts---easier said then done. All i have to offer is the things that make me feel good about myself, and those are things that find my inner beauty...like writing or yoga, or something that i know i am good @ or can learn. I dont' wear meakup, and alot of men,good looking ones like me for it...i'm not thin either..but i learned how to accept myself out of much trial and error. Its true..confidence is beauty and you have to love yourself before you can be loved. I also believe that all men...want sex...but they respect u more if you respect who you appear to yourself, not who you appear to others.

I recently left a 7 year relationship due to several natural and what seems to be 'normal' things anymore; amongst them, cheating. I have always been faithfull my entire life, even to him and he was not. However now I am unfaithful in the opposit roll now. While living together during a 6 mo. breakup, I got online. Met someone, he has a g/f and is in a similiar situation as I was. The difference beeing, I was done with my relationship and had started the process of closure. He stands where I did 2 years ago...I assume. My ex left. And I met my friend online, and his g/f in a tangle of lies, as the 'friend'. And he came here to meet my life. There is love and friendship both between us. Due to force of distance and the nature of our entanglement, we are more so forced to be friends then lovers, naturaly. Our daily ritual of phone calls and extended hours of online chatting has been going on for a year now. He is still w/ her, but he hates her like I did my ex, and I get it. I'm tired however, of beeing second, even though the situation is honestly convenient for me. I mean, i did just leave someone I thought I was going to marry...and I do feel slightly selfish. He is a consistent campanion in my loneliness, and even when I try... I can't break it off, I dont' really want to. I feel selfish...and patient... I dont' regret my ex cheating, actually its a blessing in disguise. Its too ironic that I am here in this position though, doing what i feel is wrong if done to me. But I would never deny my friends the feelings of this--love in any form if it is natural--do u know what i mean?. I feel bad her, but I feel for him more. I would have moved to him had it happened faster, obviously that is what love does...but do i let it go even if I love him, for principal...even though i am closing myself to the small 5% chance of affairs that work out. But what of that 5%... ](*,)