Goodfun88

Sounds like he is trying to control you and wants you to beg and plead for him to believe you. This is a toxic relationship, get out as soon as you can.

Where did you hear that? Just curious.

If the relationship with your boyfriend is no good, you may need to end it. As long as you feel like you've exhausted every avenue and tried your best to make it work, and nothing has changed it may be over. As far as guy 2 I wouldn't worry about that now, its never good to jump from one relationship to another without taking time to heal and become whole again. Good luck with your situation!

Sometimes people really do get busy, and sometimes people do avoid you. In either case there is nothing you can do about it. Invite friends along as often as you like, but after a certain point if they keep turning you down, it may be time to move on and if they want to hang out with you they will have to invite you to do something. If you haven't been friends for to long I wouldn't bring up them avoiding you because that just makes it awkward and they might infact start avoiding you after that.

Sometimes you fall for someone you never thought you would. Sometimes its infatuation, sometimes its love. Only you truly know what you are feeling. You must be having some sort of conflicting feelings about the situation because you find yourself caring about this woman. Sometimes you think you know what you want, but what you actually need turns out to be something different.

I understand, but gosh if he can afford to go on holiday, it seems he would be able to go and see you for a weekend. I've never been in a LDR so I'm not sure how the whole thing works, but I would think he would rather come and see you than go see some online friends. It just seems inconsiderate to plan for something like that without any mention of coming to see you before that time.

Wow I would have been pissed if that was me. He won't come see you and hasn't in 4 months, but is going to go on a holiday to meet up with some online friends? That would be totally unacceptable to me. Just my opinion though.

Or maybe she thought that you thought you guys were spending way to much time together so she wanted to say it first and see what you would say? I have no idea. Did she just say it out of nowhere or was it part of a conversation?

What kind of tone did she use when she said it, was she maybe joking? Maybe she likes that she spends way to much time with you, seeing as right after, she suggested spending even more time with you.

Thank you everyone for your responses. This is just a tough situation for me. I don't know if I want to get involved with the police and everything because I was not there and do not know what happened, this all stuff that she's told me. I will check some of the resources NJRon and Hope provided and maybe pass them on to her. She knows the situation is messed up but I think she feels helpless and trapped. She recently had to move out of her sisters place and get her own place and she gave him keys, and thats what scares me the most. She has nowhere to go, which to me would seem the only option for her would be to call the police but I guess she loves him and would feel bad for sending him to jail, which seems messed up to me. I hope she comes to her senses before its to late.

I have a fear of people that are dressed up in costumes, like Disney characters. I don't freak out and run, but I get really anxious when they come near me.

One of my very good friends is in a really bad relationship and I want to be able to help her, but I've never had any experience with abusive relationships. She just found out recently that she is pregnant and told the guy. Needless to say the guy is not happy. Last night he got drunk and bash her head into the wall and told her he was going to kill her so that she wouldn't have the baby. This totally freaked me out. I have no idea how to deal with this. I've tried telling her in the past to leave him that she deserves so much better, but she says that she loves him. I asked her why she didn't call the police and she said that he would be a 3rd time offender so that means he would go to jail for years. I said good, but she told me she would be scared of what he would do to her after he got out. What can I say or do to help her through this time, because she doesn't deserve this.

I met my boyfriend in a bar. I never in a million years thought I would meet anyone worth dating in a bar, but I did. Actually his uncle tried to pick me up first and I was just being nice and talking to him a little bit. Then his friend came on to me and actually kissed me (totally surprised me, I pulled away, cause I'm not in the habit of randomly kissing people in bars). Then his friend actually ended up having sex in the bathroom with my friend. So I sat and talked with the other two guys and at the end of the night, one of the guys asked me for my number and gave me his. He never called but did see me out at the same bar a couple days later. Orignally we decided to just be friends and sleep together (stupid I know) but then like 4 months later I was like are you going to be my boyfriend or what? And he was like yeah. And we've been together as bf and gf for about 3 months and couldn't be happier. We always joke that the story of us meeting would be great to tell the grandchildren someday! Even though the whole thing went against my idea of how a relationship should start, it all still worked out!

I'm sorry that you are going through such a tough time, my prayers are with you.

It seems to me as though you are punishing yourself for this mistake you've made so long ago. Although you have hurt someone in the past you know that it was wrong and you shouldn't feel so guilty anymore. You deserve happiness, remember that.

Well its better to know now what kind of friends she is and she isn't really worth your time anyways. Maybe after you heard her say that you subconsciously pushed her away because of what you heard her say. Maybe she could tell that you were different after that and she didn't know why so she just stopped talking to you. Who knows though, people can be weird sometimes. Whatever the reason was, you know she couldn't have been a true friend who could be there for you.

I am currently going through a similar thing. My bf's friend is having a serious problem with him spending most of his time with me instead of hanging out with him. Its driving this friend of his crazy that I am actually a priority in his life. I've also heard that his brother might have a problem with me too. I know I haven't done anything wrong. I don't force my bf to spend time with me, he chooses to. If they have a problem with that, too bad. I asked my bf about it and he said it doesn't matter, its just about me and him and no one else matters. I do encourage him to go out with his friends though and make sure when we go out on Friday we all hang out as a group, but still, guys seem to have a hard time dealing with there friends getting a steady gf.

I almost started laughing when I read this, and only because I had a similar thing happen to me just about two weeks ago. Me and my bf had gone on an awesome trip for his birthday, he told me he loved me for the first time, but then when we got back he got sick. He was sick for almost a week and I only talked to him a total of maybe 3 times. I was freaking out just like you. I kept wondering to myself, is he trying to get rid of me or something? He was extremely short on the phone when we did talk so I was seriously concerned. When he got better I told him how I thought maybe he didn't want to be with me, he thought I was absolutely crazy, he said he was just sick. So my thinking is when a guy is sick he is sick and thats really all he's thinking about. And he's hoping that his wonderful loving girlfriend will understand that he's sick and won't be pissed that he can't remember to call. I wouldn't worry if I was you.

If you go and talk to him again bring a small tape recorder and record your conversation and if he continues to be ridiculous you have some concrete proof.

Thanks for responding RayKay! Oh and my boyfriend knows how to act but sometimes forgets that he has someone elses feelings to consider, he is getting much better at that though. Also I have no problem hanging with the guys and joking around and I can tell when its all in fun. I get a kick out of it then and of course have come backs for them, but this was just so negative and mean spirited and so untrue, I couldn't help but become offended. And I doubt my boyfriend would ever have the nerve to let a situation get out of hand like that with me around ever again, which is why I'm glad to be with him.

I definitely agree Scout, thanks for all of your advice!

Yeah, he knows he was way wrong! And I know its hard for him since I am his first serious relationship since high school (he is twenty-eight). He's not exactly sure what he's supposed to do and I'm patient with him in that regard.

Care to elaborate?

I don't think it started out that they were trying to irritate me, it was just a conversation, but none of them had any consideration for me being there. And unfortunately I cannot bite my tongue to save my life. Also I don't know that my boyfriend realized that I was so upset till I told him I was going to leave. He just made that comment without thinking and it hurt me and he did apologize and we did leave together after that. I was pissed at my boyfriend, but its hard when guys are in a group together, he probably didn't want to seem like he was whipped and wanted to be one of the guys. But I still can't believe those guys truly believe what they were saying (my boyfriend was quiet for the most part), but it wasn't a joke, which is why it bothered me the most.

The other day I was at my boyfriend's uncle's house and things got a little bit out of hand. They were drinking and carrying on like men do and one guy started talking about how if he ever died he wouldn't leave his wife anything cause he knew she would just end up meeting some other guy and that guy would get everything that he had worked so hard for. I was in shock. But I kept my mouth shut, just listening to see if there was any way I had misunderstood what he had said, but he just kept going and going. My boyfriend looked at me and said what do you think about that? I just went off, I couldn't believe anyone would say that about there wife of 37 years. Finally I got him to admit that he was just talking a big game and he doesn't actually think that way. So I was feeling good. Then this guy says to me, "All men cheat and you need to know this if you and him (my boyfriend) ever get married." I said so your telling me all men cheat? I was livid. Not only can you not make that assumption, but to say it to a lady in the way that he did, like he expected me to accept it and be ok with it. I was so mad, all the while my boyfriend says NOTHING! So I got up, went to the bathroom. While I was in the bathroom I just kept getting madder and madder. So I get out of the bathroom, grab my purse and walk out the door. I got in my car and I was just trying to compose myself so I could drive home when my boyfriend comes out to the car. He tells me, oh don't worry about him, he's old school, he doesn't know what he's talking about, he's just drunk. I was like thats fine, and he knows I can handle talking and hanging with the guys, but this just pushed me to the limit. He asks me to go back inside, so I do. Not more than 5 minutes later, they start talking about how women are the ones that are supposed to cook and clean (I agree, but they were taking it to the extreme like women belong on there knees scrubbing the floor). Then my boyfriend says he'd like to find a girl like that. That was it for me. I asked him if he could get a ride home with his friend and that I had to leave now. He was like ok. So he insists on walking me out and asks what's wrong. I told him that maybe we shouldn't see each other if he's looking for the kind of girl that belongs scrubbing floors, cause that was not me (I'm kinda messy). He said no no no, I was just being one of the guys and thought that would sound good. I asked him if he forgot that I was there and he said no. Anyways we worked things out but I felt bad for storming out but I just couldn't take it anymore. I hate being dramatic, but I just couldn't sit there anymore. Did I overreact?