jabele
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Everything posted by jabele
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Interesting thoughts. I think its probably easy for gay males to come to terms with their sexuality than it is for women. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
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Drink slowly... If you start out with an alcoholic drink, wait a while and have something non-alcoholic in between (soda/water) and wait at least an hour until your body has metabolized the last liquor drink until you have another. Set your limits in advance and tell your friends your plan and have them stop you if you go over it.
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I was going to say the exact same thing! No worries - sounds perfectly normal
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Since you are his daughter, I feel it might not be the best idea to be his therapist. At the same time, it might be useful to allow him to speak openly about how he feels about his life/work situation and then say ---in a non-threatening and caring way---that there are people he can talk to. In fact, many workplaces provide therapy services and job counseling to their workers... Those are really long days he has and I do think it would be beneficial that he get that sort of support. Also, I'm not sure how old you are, but maybe you could do things around the house - i.e.- help clean, cook, and pick up after yourself (though you may do these things already, I don't really know) Those are my suggestions. Good luck
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Why are you friends with your ex?
jabele replied to Aschleigh's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
My ex doesn't want to be friends although I'd like to because he claims it would be too difficult for him since he still has feeligns for me.. I wish we could be friends though... -
Definitely not weird! It's great to re-connect with old friends-- even if it is from a long time ago. Thats what MySpace is for!
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Alteer, yeah it was the same person. I did question his motives from the get-go because I wanted to go out and do something, not just do a stay in the apartment and drink wine thing which is what he asked to do -- and has in the past but I was busy... I would be interested in him if I didn't think he was just in for sex...which, given certain things about him, I think was all he was looking for. He even told me afterwards he doesn't want a relationship with anyone...big freaking surprise.
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Just to clarify -- I didn't *have sex* with him -- but I did go down on him. Also, I never had depression -- I have anxiety/OCD...however, worrying all the time had the effect of making me depressed. I don't think I'm really depressed anymore, but I'm still somewhat of an anxious person...though not nearly as bad as I used to be...
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I guess I felt bad because I didn't want to leave him with blue balls or whatever... I would have felt bad...which is sort of weird, because I usually am pretty good with saying "no" to sexual things when I feel uncomfortable... When I do these things I fear that I'm setting up a chain reaction - and that in the future I'll be wary of encounters for fear of being put in a position I don't really want to be in..
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How do I really allow myself to love him?
jabele replied to Aschleigh's topic in Trust and Relationships
I think its important to recognize that you are very infatuated with this guy and that you may develop unrealistic expections. Often times, people become so quickly infatuated with someone, that they fill in all the missing gaps with postive qualities when, in fact, its not the person at all! Its those cases where people get married after 6 months and are convinced they really know the person and that they are exactly what they're looking for...then, in time, grow to find that they weren't who they thought and, as they say in "When Harry Met Sally," argue in divorce mediation who will get to keep the ugly wheel coffee table!!! ;-) If you recognize that you may do this now you can slow yourself down and give yourself the opportunity to really grow something w/ him and get to know him. Consider it a good thing you feel this way, but also a reason to be a bit cautious. Good luck! -
I really am. I worry about unreasonable things -- things that are so freaking unlikely, but I get so freaked out. I hooked up with a guy tonight, though I wasn't planning on it...I went down on him not because I really wanted to, but because I know he wanted it...in any event, I was so scared I got a disease or something I couldn't even really talk to him after...luckily I was able to talk to my friend and he told me how unlikely it is I would have gotten something, but without that, I would have dwelled. Before I started on my meds, I dwelled on a similar experience for a full year...day in and day out I worried!!! Enter Antidepressants...I stopped worrying so much about things... But, the thing is, I'm not sure if that affected my interest in being sexual (in any sense, including kissing) with anyone after...because I feel I may have just shut myself off from it all. I'm playing my own therapist here, I really don't know... Am I equating any form of sexual encounter with bad times making me not want to start, or be involved once involved, in any form of sexual-type encounter? I wish I understood myself...
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Whats the likeliness of getting a disease from giving a blow job when there's precum??
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Umm, now I freaked out...I wasnt planning on doing anything with him, but I did... I gave him a BJ and now the right side of my mouth feels numb...is that normal? I'm freaking out
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Help!! So this guy I went on two dates with a while back all of a sudden comes back out of the wood work and wants to see me...he asked me to go to his place and drink wine to celebrate my first day on an internship. I told him I definitely couldn't do that because I have to get up early for it again tomorrow-- this is true, but the main reason is because I don't trust that. Instead, I invited him to my apartment to drink the wine (bc I have two roommates who will be here). The thing is I question his intentions and what it is he wants from me. How should I go about this?
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I would talk to her sober, definitely. She could be interested you or she may not be. I flirt with people I wouldnt give the time of day to sober...then again, if I do like someone, alcohol eases the transaction. Again, best bet is to talk to her sober
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Don't come on too strong... Confident, but not cocky. Willing to makes jokes at his own expense (I like to do it myself). Honestly, just be yourself...and if the girl in question doesn't like it, then shes probably not for you...
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Interesting thoughts...I could definitely see how it would be more difficult for a woman to come to terms with sexual orientation, as opposed to a man...for men its much harder to deny. If they are aroused by members of the same sex, its easier to identify as a gay or bisexual. With women, its not always so easy because its also linked to emotions. I'm sure even lesbians can fall in love with men which may complicate matters further. Or, on the flip side, many straight women may develop crushes on close female friends. So where, for women, does one draw the line? I guess its up to each person to decide- because I'm not really sure myself.
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I totally hear you - and yeah, I've definitely experienced that. It does sound like you are legitimately depressed...which is probably why you have no appetite. So you've started on the medication? I hope it helps you... I'm on medication for anxiety/OCD and its helped a great deal. Granted, I'm not perfect, but my life doesn't revolve around my constant fears the way it used to...and I feel a lot better. These medications do take time though...at least a week, I'd say. Also, some work better than others...I'm planning to switch my medication because I don't think its working as well as it should be. Plus, the person that prescribed it was just a general MD so he basically was like: 'Here, try this one.' Let us know how you're doing
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Sex first time and boyfriend couldnt get erect!
jabele replied to gal1989's topic in Sex and Romance
As Mr. Mackey would say: condoms are GOOD, Mmmmmmmmkay? Wow, I need a life. -
Do they have water rides? You might want to wear a bathing suit underneath. I know that when I go to "Six Flags," I like to stand on the bridge when its really, really hot out. Plus, can't forget the log flume...lol!
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I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling down in the dumps... While I'm no doctor, I do know that some medications -- and particularly some given for depression -- can stifle your appetite. It's also possible that you aren't as hungry anymore because you are, indeed, depressed. Have you asked your doctor if s/he thinks your appetite is because of the medication s/he prescribed?
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How many people on here have met their S/O's online?
jabele replied to jabele's topic in Dating Advice
Faceparty? Hmm...never heard of that one- I'll have to look into it. Is it more like a MySpace or like a Match? -
I'm just wondering how many people have met their significant others via the internet? Be it: MySpace, Match, Jdate, or whatever. Just interested! If not, how did you meet your S.O.? Through a friend, at a concert? Share your story, why not!
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still waiting on hiv test results
jabele replied to catgirl82's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
Good for you for doing that! It's natural to get freaked out- especially when you're just sitting around waiting, but I'm sure you'll be just fine. Distractions...hmm. Do anything that makes you completely zone out. Maybe its drawing, reading, or watching a favorite movie or TV show. For me, it would be watching South Park, because I'm addicted ;-) Watch something that will make you laugh. Good luck and I'm sure everything will turn out great! -
Aww, cute! Thats exciting that you found someone who piques your interest. How would you feel asking him to a movie? That way, he can interpret it however he likes-- plus you can gauge his reaction. If he gets a big silly grin on his face, you might have your answer Or you could always do one of those: do you like me? Circle: yes, no, or maybe.Totally kidding But remember those back in the day? Oh I'm reminiscing now...