jabele

Yeah, you definitely gotta watch out with the drinking. I used to NEVER drink, then I started drinking when I turned 21 and loved it. Now I have a really bad problem with alcohol-- constantly think about it and find myself struggling to not drink too much. I've drank so much that I've forgotten 3 hours of one night and done some pretty stupid things. The effects alcohol can have on us are incredible...and not in a good way. Maybe talk to her and see why she drinks so much. I'm starting to learn more about why I relied so much on liquor (through therapy).

Umm - That doesn't seem like a very supportive thing to say. And in response to your last post, "finding someone who knows what they're doing" doesn't make someone not bisexual. Even if her boyfriend does satisfy her sexually, that doesn't preclude her for developing feelings for someone else-- or from not being who she is. I don't see what makes her scatterbrained...there is nothing strange about anything she said. This place is called ENotAlone -- and people come here to be helped, not be derided for their feelings. I'm sure you'd expect the same courtesy. Thanks.

5 million, wow. That's a lot. What do you guys think about this? I think its pretty funny.

Yeah, its definitely a cowardly thing to do to do it in that way, but it also depends on a lot of factors. How long you've known/dated them, how they treated you, how often you see them, etc. I mean, if you only dated someone for a week, is it really necessary to tell them in person? In this case, a simple email would suffice. However, if we're talking 2 years, I'd sure hope you would at least do it over the phone -- and you should then arrange to meet in person to discuss it.

Definitely not a problem

I've tried to figure out what aspect of the porn most men are in to. Is in the action that excites or is it arousal at the female's body? Or maybe a combo of both? I guess, in the men's defense, even women that don't use porn (like a video or picture) many fantacize about about different scenarios which can be considered cheating as much as porn. It wouldn't bother me too much if my boyfriend watched porn. I think I'd be more offended if he imagined himself having sex with other women -- but then again, maybe thats what you're doing with porn

Very, very commendable! There are also places now that can get you the results in 15 minutes now, so you don't have to deal with the waiting..

OMG. He's legitimately threatening suicide now...he used to cut, and he said he wants to buy a gun and keeps saying how everyone is better off without him. I'm freaking out...I have to acll an emergency thing-a-bob

Ok. So...my roommate and her boyfriend have split up and I've come to be his (and he's not my roommate) personal therapist. We talk at least 2 hours every day, and recently he's been so negative I can hardly talk to him. He tells me he's useful, fat, ugly and that no other girl will ever date him. I know that he calls her every single day and still thinks he can make it work -- if he changes things about himself. I can't seem to get through to him that she's basically done with this and he's just making it worse on himself. Also, hes saying he has nothing to live for and he wants to run his car over a bridge. I don't think he'd actually do it, but he's really depressed. Nothing I say works...for example, I'm like: ok, well, instead of focusing on the negatives, tell me some good thinsg about yourself...and hes like "it doesnt matter, I'm worthless." Help??

My roommates doing that right now...its a little complicated for the two of them, but they seem to be working it out quite well. Then again, there seems to be much opportunity for a disaster ending...

Lol! What made you think of this. Were you sitting around and were like: hmmmmmmm....sex with my girlfriend's clone - could be fun! Yeah, I agree with orgasmictofu... Also, think of it this way....while you're having sex with your gf's clone-- what's your gf doing? Do you think she'd want to watch that...naw, she'd probably want to be the girl.

Haha, seems I've started a debate here. In response to someone's question, its wet enough on my face where I need to actually wipe it off (be it with my hand or sleeve or a towel). So yeah....I guess everyone's different...

Would you feel comfortable bringing these issues up to him? Possibly open with: "so hey, I was just wondering....are you not a phone person..." or "do you prefer "spending time" as opposed to chatting on the phone?" Maybe you can gauge his style...it does sound more like a style thing...some guys will call constantly, and others, well, not at all. I guess he's a 'not at all' kind of guy... However, if it's something thats important to you -- and you tell him that it would mean something to you...he'll make the effort to call/write if he cares about you.

Ok, so I've noticed that most times when I kiss someone, I end up with saliva all over my face. Is this normal, or does it mean that he or I am a bad kisser? 'Spanks!

I think it depends on the situation... If there is a girl that seems to be "off to the side" and alone, you could ask her if she knows anyone at the party and ask her if she'd like to talk with you. If she's surrounded by a lot of people it may be more difficult...then you should try to talk to everyone, and then show particular interest in the girl... At this point, you can ask her the basic questions- where she goes to school, what she likes to do...etc.

Ohhhh wow. Ok then. Maybe Lexapro isn't for me. Have you tried any other SSRIs?

Wow, thats really interesting-- I didn't realize that it wasn't dose related. I've fiddled with the dose to see if that would have an effect, but apparently it doesn't have anything to do with that. I was thinking of talking to a doctor and switching to Lexapro. I know that alot of people in my family are on Lexapro, and apparently if it works for someone in your family, its also likely to work for you. I think the sexual side effects are better with that drug, but I'm not 100% sure.

Oh, yeah, I'm actually referring to Antidepressants (like SSRIs). I've been on Zoloft for about 5 years now...but only 100mg

Does anyone know which medications, specifically, are sex-drive killers? Also, what dose usually starts affecting you?

Thanks for the great advice everyone! Ladybugg- thank you! I definitely agree. I actually had a similar situation before- put all my eggs in the basket and then I got upset and accused him of leadnig me on. Granted, the two of us are very close friends now, but nothing romantic ever came of it. Maybe I'll back o ff and see if he writes or contacts me. The thing is -- I don't think he will. But I guess you're right, then he's probably not worth it.

Ok...so here's the deal - and I'd really appreciate peoples opinions. I've been talking to this one guy online for months now. Originally, we were just going back and forth via email because he was home (in another state) for about a month, so that was the only way to talk. Then, he came back, and we met up for coffee about 3-4 weeks ago. We've both been really busy since, and hadn't been able to get together since we got together today. He even said he felt bad he was 'flaky' and couldnt make it when I asked him to hang out on a Tuesday night. So we decided to meet up this morning for breakfast up by me (and it took him 45 minutes to get here). The thing is, I don't know if he is interested in me for a relationship! We talked about how, when he was in college, he was a bit of an 'a-hole' and a "serial monogomist.' He would go through lots of girls and kind of screw them over. However, hes totally different now, and has really grown up since then. I know he wants to be with someone who can make him laugh and he can be interested in them as people -- and not just as a physical thing, I suppose. So he didn't pay for the breakfast - but we got along really, really well. We joked around a lot and sort of fed off of each other. He went home after the breakfast (to go back to sleep) and that was about it. I think he said next time we could do an afternoon or evening thing. In his emails and in his conversations with me, he never implies hes interested in me, or uses language that indicates he wants that with me. I know he did mention me to friends and that he was meeting with me tomorrow and that I contacted him online... I'm not sure how to proceed- I mean, we've been talking online since like January. What do you guys think? Thanks

I don't recommend doing it, but the best way to cure a hang over is actually... ....to drink alcohol. Thats the reason bloody marys and mimosas were created. And I'm being serious. Its still a bad idea, because it can start a whole new set of problems. I've never actually tried it, but its a sure fire way.

How old is he, if you don't mind my asking? He may just be very nervous in expressing how he feels about you, so he talks about other girls...I think this is somewhat of a common phenomena. Men pretend like they're all cool and suave, but deep down, they're just as nervous and self-conscious as we are.

You're probably right. I shouldn't just ignore him. I don't have his email, meaning Ill haev to call him and address it... I'll have to figure out how to phrase it though...

Nice. I like that way..