QTpie87

mk so my bf got out of a almost 3 year relationship like a few months ago, he went through a faze where he would say he was over her and he wasn't and I could see right through that but now he really is over her and I believe it. he hardly ever talks about her unless it's something negitive and when he ever does bring it up he always says that he is now glad they aren't still dating cause of how un healthy it was (she was sort of abusive). Well today would have been their three year anniversary and he was really just mad all day, I don't think he is mad cause he wants to be with her, i really think he's happy with dating me, but just like an hour ago he was like I'm gonna go hang out with so and so and I was like ok what's up what did I do. and he's all nothing just being around you today is reminding me too much of my ex and I just need to get away. so I was ok with that and said night. He later comes back over to my dorm room says sorry, gives me a hug and kiss and says he'll be ok tomorrow. so I know we're ok, i hope at least, but is this normal, if he was really happy with me would he still be going through this? thanks all.

yeah kinda I mean he does things to stimulate it first. He does go a little fast for me I mean not horribly fast but it's been a while sense he's had sex like a few months, and in a way it's the 2nd first time for me to willingly do it with a man. so that might be a problem too I don't know. I haven't ever been able to orgasm with a guy, only by myself. He thinks I have a block cause I was rapped, but I don't think I do because I really like him a lot and he doesn't worry me like that and I don't think about that so I don't see why I can't orgasm. I feel like Im going to and then It either just keeps that feeling and doens't climaz any more then that or he goes and I dont' know what would have happened. about those exersises i would love to know about them. thanks all.

Mk so my bf and I have been having sex but I can't seem to orgasm. It's not bad at all, I really enjoy it only I wont orgasm and I know im capable of doing it. I can do it when Im alone so why can't I do it when Im with him????

How do you start to do that? Like if you are basically already outgoing with a few people you are close too, and you can stand up for yourself then but you still have trouble with certin people, and you worry about what people think, and weither what you are doing/saying is going to get you looked at in a funny way or not how do you fix that. most of the time im ok, im just me, but it really depends on who im with. I need to learn how to keep my nervs under control and not worry about what others think, but it does matter to me, it matters a lot, i want people to like me for some odd reason. does any one here know what im talking about?

My new bf has been doing this thing where he will say something really mean to me to try and get me to stand up for myself, but a lot of the time the things that he says cuts a little too deep and hurts a lot. I talked to him about this last night and he said he was sorry and he would try not to do it anymore but he just wants me to be able to stick up for myself and not be such a push over. Well today at lunch we were sitting down and a friend looks at me and's all like yeah I think kayla would go down in one punch, everyone starts agreeing and was like what the f do you know about me and how much I can take, and why would you even think that? and they are all like please we could poke you and you'd go down you have really love self esteem and it wouldn't take much. so that upset me and I was like why do you sit there and try to make me feel worse about myself when I already know I have low self esteem what pleasure do you get out of hurting me a little more. and they're all like we aren't tring to hurt you we're telling you as friends how we see you. so I was like f this and got up to leave. I go back to my dorm and in comes my bf, what the f is your problem, well what do you think why do you like to make me feel worse about myself, well this is what i've been telling you the whole time you've been comeing here that you need to be able to stand up for yourself, and he storms out all mad and doesn't even care that im sitting here feeling like s and crying. what's with that?

I hope so, I just wish I could get him to see how sorry I am, I'm not the type of person that goes behind backs and talks loads. If I think something I'm usually even a little shy to tell that person, so I wish he would just forgive me but it doesn't look like that will be happening. .

So I finally find someone here who likes me for who I am, and then I go and mess it all up. We were at a party and I got really drunk (im not using that for an excuse at all, I had no place doing what I did) and I went around and talked a load of you know what on my bf. We went home and he was really angry, he said he wasn't but he was. the last 2 days it's been so different, I said how sorry I was, I swore never to drink again, and I forgave him for some stuff he did that im really not ok with. so just now we are sitting out on the bench and im like why are you being so odd, and he just starts swearing and all that great fun stuff. So I backed off, shut up and just sat there, and he's all you know I just don't want a relationship anymore. so I was mad and like ok you could have told me that yesterday when you started acting like this, I was like i told you how sorry I was, I can't make up for that and im sorry, and i turned around and started to walk away so I would't cry in front of him. and he's like so what you're gonna walk off like a little baby? What was I suppost to do, I stood there and tried to talk to him. Now I haven't like become really emotionally attatched to him yet but I do really like him so far and I feel sad that because of one night he wants to break it off. any opionions would be nice.

Ok so I was born with no sense of smell and don't know why. when people ask me about it it's odd cause I can't really explain why, or how things are to me. like tasting, yes I have a sense of taste only it's not taste it's feeling. like when you plug your nose you can still tell what is sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and spicey, because those are feelings not tasting. I don't know really what my point is other then is there anyone else here like that, no sense of smell? is it fixable? would you fix it if you could, why or why not? How did it happen to you, sickness, injury, born with it? mk i'll shut up now, just using up some free time to ask a question. thanks guys. Qtpie87

I've always wondered what it would be like to step out of that house and live on my own. I have to admitt I didn't do it all on my own, but I am now here at dixie college living in the dorms. I'm getting my degree in nursing to work with babies and in they phsyc ward. My new friends are great. I've managed to make my first college embarasing drama with a boy who I thought I liked, in less then a week of attending, but that's all worked out. Now I have 4 really good friends, Megan, Alex, Dan, and college guy (bryan). meg and I are room mates and that's a lot of fun. And in the last 2 or more weeks I've noticed myself starting to really like Dan, and I'm happy about that cause he told me the other day that he's starting to like me a lot , not just like friends. I think we'll end up dating soon, cause we're already cuddly and kissy. Classes aren't exactally the bright of my day but they aren't too hard unless you start not going and falling behind like i've sadly done but im catching up soon. Meg and I went out and looked for jobs today. so yeah. just thought I would let everyone here who knows me what's going on and why I haven't been here for so long. mk, well peace out people. Qtpie87

Yeah I know that I do, but the last time I tried to go to anger managment It only made things worse. I don't know what to do. I took it for a long time I did, I didn't react as fast as I usually would have I just sat there and took it but then I just lost it and then I woke up in the river. I don't knwo why it's like this or what's happening, i don't want to be so angry. I love my sister, what if I would have hurt her?

well I am now to the point where I dont' want to even be around anyone. at all. I'm scared I will hurt someone. so scared! i wont go into too much detail, but my sister and I got into a fight earlier today and after like literally 5 min of just sitting there ignoring the rocks being thrown at me and the name calling and swearing, I lost it. I got up and all I can remember is coming out of my black out holding my sister by her hair under the water in the river. I don't know how long I was out but It coudln't have been too long cause my cousin alex was running at us into the river screaming for me to let her go and I was going to kill her. when I realized what was going on I let her go right away and just started holding her back so we would stop fighting, she continued which is understandable and alex came and separated us apart. I don't know what to do with myself. I get so angry and I am now starting to black out and not remember what I did, I don't remember anything but going at her, and then waking up. I don't want to be around anyone now, im so afraid i'll hurt them. please help. Qtpie87

what's Fibromyalgia Syndrome ??? and what's a G.P. ? so that's why you were really angry, cause im getting really bad like that to the point where I could literally hurt someoen badly and not know until it has already happened.

I understand the maturity thing. I dont' think it's always a bad thing though, my first bf was two years older then me and at times he was way more mature and other times it was like I was taking care of a 2 year old boy who haden't been potty trianed yet. I think if you like this guy that giving him some more time would be a good thing, no one needs to grow up to fast it takes all the pleasure out of being a teen, trust me I did it and you know what I have to let go and just be my age some times cause it sucks being mature all the time, it is good to be mature for certin things though of corse. If you don't like this guy then I would agree with the other posters and have to say gently let him go and save the both of you some heart ache. I hope it all works out for you. Qtpie87

I have a problem controling how fast I react to things. Bad things in general. If I get mad or something isn't right at the moment I react to it before I even give myself time to think about it. and then when I have gotten away by myself from the problem I realize how dumb it was. I have tried working on this a lot, I used to go to anger managment but it didn't really help much cause I couldn't stand my dr and he just pissed me off even more then I already was (mainly cause he wouldn't listen to what I had to say ). I realize how dumb and childish it is and really can't stand it. I've also been thinking about one of my more recent posts here and how I wanted to change myself, I don't want to anymore, I realize that there is no one on this earth who is exactally like me and that's why we are all so specail, I think my main problem is wanting to chang little things like my anger problem. When I am by myself I am a very peacful person and don't intend on hurting anyone physically or mentally, but then when something happens that I'm not prepaired for I jump too soon too defend myself and mess everything up. I honestly don't know how to start controling this. It's like I dont' even think, I'll think to myself ok next time just stop and think about how irrational you are being and how you could have solved that in a non hurtful way to the others involved. I tend to do this with other things like suicide and cutting too, and really don't want to. I've pretty much got my depression under control so it's easy to bring myself out of that state and realize im being dumb, but this other anger problem is way bigger then my depression ever was or probably ever will be. It's kinda scarign me, im worried im going to really end up hurting someone. Has anyone had this problem, what did you do? should I go back to anger managment. I dont' know if that would be the best idea, cause I feel like that person can't fix my problem that I have to do it, I just don't know where to start.

I think it's really beautiful. always have and always will love your writing. I miss you btw, hope to talk to you soon . remember to always smile. Qtpie87

wahahhaha the only time I've ever heard the term gold digger was when someone was talking about another person and the pickign of their nose or buttalks lol. What do you mean by gold digger cause wearing nice clothes certinly wouldn't make you a butt picker.

Well I wouldn't normaly use roses for anything, but Michael liked them so I think that's what I should use this year. thanks for your replys guys.

Today is one of my best friends 2nd death anniversary. I want to get some nice roses. Last year I got him this really pretty purple flowers but want to do somethign different this year. I know roses mean remembering. but there are white, red, and black roses (not naming the other colors cause I don't care for them as much.) what does each color of rose represent???? I need a fast reply if possible, i have to leave in an hour to get them. the reason I want to get him roses is because right before he died he wrote a really nice poem about rememberign the roses. and I feel like it would be apropriate. thanks you all so much. Qtpie87

actually sadley enough I am being forced to hang out with her. she is my cousins cousin from indiana and she will be here for around a mounth maybe longer, and I told my aunt no I don't want to hang out with her I don't like her she's mean, she tells lies, yadda yadda and she's all what are you talkign about hallie is so sweet, f that no she isn't lol. O well i'll just have to come up with my own plan I guess lol. I haven't ever been one to take revenge on anyone, ever, but this girl has gone too far and she's gonna pay big.

she's going to be here for a whole month and my cousin isn't the only one getting the rotten end of it, I am too, she's done things I dont' even want to talk about they are so messed up and humiliating. I don't want to hurt her, I want to mess with her and put her in her place.

link removed also a good site,they have an advice colum like this it's called lucid lounge, and they have a million other colums, it's mainly about what dreams mean and how to control them in ld's( ld stands for lucid dreaming) if you want to learn some about it before you go to the main fourm then just go to link removed and don't include the /fourm.

this is the closest thing I could put it under (relationship conflicts, more like hate or revenge, that would have been better but wasn't offered so this will have to do) the title says it all...ok I feel rather evil for doing this, i'll probably go to hell for it but it's worth it (jk jk jk!!!) I feel aweful, but I can't stand this girl, she is going around saying things about my cousin who I love more then anyone on the face of this earth. and saying thigs about me, and tryign to take my friend whom I also love and like a bit more then a friend, and she's flirtign with my other cousin and being nasty with him and he doesn't like it and well no one can stand her. She has lied and lied and lied, and done nasty cheap things around my friends and family, she has publicly humiliated me when I took her out and tried to be friends with her. then I try again figuring everyone has bad days but this girl has nothing but bad intentions coming out of everything she does. I want to continue to act nice as possible just for the heck of being nice to her, but I also want to get back in unobvious ways. Ways that no one would know that it was me, and ways that wounldn't hurt her ( def don't wanna hurt her at all) just embarris her a bit and make her start getting the idea of how I and my family work. I dont' want her to know right away it's me, but start to figure it out, we'll have some what of a game going on, and i'll have to put her in her place, but I don't want her to be able to prove it was me, just odd things that could happen to anyone you know, so it will just be between us and maybe she will stop. I already talked to her and was upfront about how I feel about her, my cousin also got mad but didn't exactaly deal with it by communtication, she punched hallie in the head lol. I felt bad, cause I dont wanna hurt her, just mess with her a bit. any ideas?

I think you may have taken it bad, maybe she just doesn't wanna go for a drink, maybe she isn't an alcho person or trying to stop you know?

it's really sad to read, but good at the same time. What is on your mind that is bothing you so much though, im really sorry you feel like this. awesome poetry though, like always. Qtpie87

Well Ok maybe im not veagen all the wayyet but im working my way there I should say. I'm almost all the way there too,cause I don't cheat a lot at all. and when I do It makes me sick so Im not doing it anymore and haven't for a while.