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Napoleon Bonaparte

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  1. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Dance no I don't think you are insane. But I think you will be soon if you don't get this out in the open. If she is just a friend that perhaps the above poster is right. Ask hubby to invite her and her husband over for dinner.
  2. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Dance I think your suspicions are probably justified. He probably is cheating or is pushing torwards it. But the real mystery is why did you really think he was gonna change?
  3. Napoleon Bonaparte
    If he cheated and lied about it once why do you think he has changed? Answer that and you will have a good indicator whether or not you are currently being irrational or not.
  4. Napoleon Bonaparte
    This is precisely what I had hoped to stir up. Debate. Discussion. Disagreement with my own views. It is how the enlightened mind learns. Chai I disagree by the way. And I think false perceptions destroy a lot of relationships.
  5. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Dark send me some information and titles of books about him. I am always interested in intellectual leaders including ones outside of my own country.
  6. Napoleon Bonaparte
    When you say unfaithful, do you mean to suggest he has actually had sexual relations with any women while with you in the past?
  7. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Dance has he ever cheated before that you know of?
  8. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Soul Mate... A mate for your soul? Someone you were meant to be with? The One? I personally don't believe in the soul. But I'm not writing this to quibble about metaphysics and spirituality. This ain't about religion and marriage either. But soul mate ... along with the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus, is a figment of the imagination, the mechanics of early infatuation, and the propaganda of a commercialized marketplace that specializes in fantasies of making your dreams come true. You see a romantic partner is supposed to compliment your life -- not complete it. They're your friend (snooze) Your confident. (snore) And a regular supply of sex (hey-hey). The evolution of romance is a a good thing. Ovid, Petrarch, Shakespeare -- and even the hedonistic libertines Byron, Shelly, and Cassonova -- entrenched firm ideas of the importance of liasons between lovers. Eventually, (I reckon around the time Hollywood/TV was fully entrenched in our minds and trashy novels and Valentine's Day had become big business) some of us got the notion that evolution is a farce and there is only one perfect person out there for all of us. Perfection doesn't have any meaning. It's somatic garbage. It's my least favorite word. Perhaps the most destructive word in the English language. I consider soul mate one of its many offspring. And of all of perfection's children, soul mate disturbs me the worst. It's suggested meaning is symbiotic. Codependent. And discourages us from catching the real potential in people we encounter everyday. If you still haven't found your better half perhaps it isn't a soul mate you need but instead more self-esteem. The western world craves the needy. It indulges on our insecurities. It likes it when we become imprisoned by our own fantasies. Why? Because there's always a market for it. And by becoming estranged you limit yourself from the possibility of more permanent, realistic, and positive experiences. You don't need to find yourself a soul mate. Flexibility, compromise, communication, a developed personality, self-esteem and strong dedication. Learn these things. Or if you already have them then make them stronger in yourself. Then find a partner who feels the same way with these same values and together you can build yourself a more powerful relationship. Finally, appreciate the presense of someone who is an honest and dedicated lover. Those egregious habits might day to day grate on your nerves but if you can appreciate them as a part of the whole, even if they aren't always endearing, you might actually find them a blessing. After all, look around you. Life isn't about what you deserve. It's about chance. Once you learn that you might just learn to love what you already have or can have -- and then congratulations, you're all grown up now.
  9. Napoleon Bonaparte
    I have two up coming essays I plan on writing about. 1. Manic depressive. 2. Narcasistic personality labels. stay tuned.
  10. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Icant at last you are telling me what happened. Do you still keep in touch with him? What was he like?
  11. Napoleon Bonaparte
    I didn't say you are too clingy. I said you were too clingy. I could be wrong, but your reasons for ending a perfectly good relationship seem a little odd
  12. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Icant basically you ruined a good relationship because you were too clingy
  13. Napoleon Bonaparte
    I cant why did you break up with your ex bf?
  14. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Drunk makes you impulsive, not another person. How long have you known each other?
  15. Napoleon Bonaparte
    (For males) BOY EATS GIRL Kissing in the modern age. I hear a lot these days about kissing and what it means to girls. Esp white girls. Do they have chemistry? Are they sexually compatible? Now I want to make it clear, I think deciding whether or not to accept a partner based on a first kiss is a terribly flawed and perhaps shallow method of determining whether or not he gets dibbs on your britches. But what I think is irrelevant. What the dames think is what is important. Remember Hitch? According to Will Smith's character 8/10 girls believe chemistry is based on how they feel after the first kiss. Now for those of you who wanna dismiss that as just a movie I must confess that, that movie isn't just making these numbers up for a plot device. According to several (okay a lot) of people I interviewed a high number (esp younger and most esp white) women believed the first kiss was a very important way to figuring out if there was chemistry or not. British commentator and relationship writer Tracy Cox believes that if you aren't careful when giving your prospective squeeze their first kiss you won't likely get another chance. So here's a few thoughts for you. I think nice guys take longer to learn how to be good kissers because (since they are sensitive) they go too fast too quickly. One of the reasons why men dive in on their first kiss (and try to suck the lips off the terrified vixon underneath them) suggests something about where he is at psychologically. In an effort to communicate passion/affection torwards the female they mistakenly believe that more means better. 'Most' people can learn how to kiss. Ever watched Cassablanca? Zeperelli's Romeo and Juliet? Just about any modern movie? It ain't hard. Take a few tips and learn patience and unless you are sure she wants it right then and there, let her meet you a portion of the way. Don't rush. Don't start sucking on her lips. And don't shove your tongue down her mouth (no french kissing on the first time). Finally, feel what is right. Sometimes this means taking non verbal cues about whether she is ready and 1. Eye contact before your first kiss. Not during. 2. Shorter is often better. Avoid being long, drawn out, and overeager. Don't kiss forever. Leave her wanting more. Not thinking how gross it was wiping off all the saliva from her mouth afterwards.
  16. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Isle I am an agnostic and am praying for so if there is a god and that don't impress him, nothing will. Good luck
  17. Napoleon Bonaparte
    What makes you presume she has moved on? If she had moved on totally she would be utterly ambivalent to you and not at all angry opr bitter. She is looking for a rebound. That being said, I disagree. The Dumpers often regret their choices as well.
  18. Napoleon Bonaparte
    confused I limit my responses these days cuz I ain't gonna be around much longer. But your topic caught my attention. I suggest you continue to date guys in order to impress other people, seriously. The public has that much power over you, people have that much power over you, I think it would be the wisest thing you could do right now to continue with this pattern of behavior. Is it shallow? Yes. Is it immature? Maybe. But since adults are supposed to be mature and yet most adults aren't much more evolved, I would call it something else. And evolution (emotional evolution that comes from introspective, retrospective, and basic wisdom) is what I am getting at, You aren't ready for a serious lasting relationship based on love and romantic attraction. So stick with the physical until you are and give this poor guy a break.
  19. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Son nobody is insulting her. Perhaps a little tolerance of other people's opinions regarding the situation is in order. Esp since everybody here is on her side. But she does have a responsibility to leave. Just like in every other facet of life. The fact that people haven't lived in her shoes isn't important. She needs to get cold, get angry (including at herself), and realize that if she stays with him purely out of love any longer she is doing it to herself. I am confident she will make the correct decision.
  20. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Hope I think you are taking a great deal of my argument out of context. Regardless orange, get away from the monster. etc etc
  21. Napoleon Bonaparte
    By the way if you want my (Non observational, experience) sources you can either check out january 2003 of the New Yorker or perhaps even google it. Some women do not want to face the reality of their decisions once they really know what is going on and stay out of a pure need to be loved by the partner. However abuse translates over to both genders apparently when it comes to emotional abuse and it can be just as contemptable a decision to remain with someone who emotionally abuses you constantly in the worst ways possible.
  22. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Dn very familair with that syndrome. Everybody is, I think. Now. Here is one for you. Ever heard of DSM 3? I bet you have. It is where these definitions come from. Every heard of Dr. Spitzer? he is probably the most influential psychiatrist in the world right now (I have met him and was briefly treated by him and his students). He is probably the most responsible of all the doctors for what goes into the DSM 3 and what does not. He is the guy who chiefly got homosexuality taken off the books in the early seventies. Ever heard of masochistic personality disorder? probably not. he invented that term and tried to include it but it didn't happen because the womens right groups cried out that it suggested that the victim is at least partially to blame. So the psychiatric community bowed down and took it out. Now here is the difference between your definition and mine. In your definition you have a gun held to your face twenty-four seven. It deals with kidnapping and hostages. In mine, the victim is at least unwatched part of the time which gives her (or him) an opportunity to slip away.
  23. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Hope at the point in which you gained the resources necessary (the knowledge that others would help you out of it once you informed them) and were empowered with the knowledge you needed to make that decision THEN it became your responsibility to leave (esp if you had kids). Staying because of "love" is itself not commendable once you know you are the victim and others have heard and are willing to help you out. I am going to presume you eventually made that decision if you are here discussing it with us today. If however you remained with him purely out of love after he was abusing you because you thought you could change him, after you were told to leave, after you were informed it was abuse, after you had the physical means to leave, then it became in part your fault until you left.
  24. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Annie well if the law forces somebody to remain with the husband they have my fully sympathy but after the fiftieth time somebody has told them to leave in an other wise situation esp if they have a kid there is some responsibility on their part which makes them at fault if they do not
  25. Napoleon Bonaparte
    Annie if that was ever challenged I remain dubious esp in an abused victim situation that it would hold much water. They had a law in Boston until a month ago that said native american indians couldnt enter the city but nobody ever enforced it.
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