playfull06

Thanks Relationship coach for the advice but I checked this to late. I broke up with my girlfriend today because I couldn't handle all the fights and everything else that was going on. I feel horrible for it but I know it is what I had to do. I did not do it because of the guys so do not think that.

My girlfriend and I have been going out for 9 months now and it hasn't been the happy go lucky 9 months. Like every other relationship we have had tough times. I love her so much and am trying hard to make this work. Why this confusion then if I love her? Well I also happen to look at guys and find them very attractive and really like them. I have this friend on the internet from where I used to live who I have liked since 4 years ago. There is also this guy at my work place who is 20 and extremely cute and interesting. I want to be able to go out and have fun with them and flirt and all that good stuff but I feel horrible even thinking about it since I am dating my girl. When I am with my girlfriend I focus on her but not all the time. Sometimes I will drift off and think of what it would be like with a guy. I do love my girlfriend but what do I do about these feelings towards being with a guy? I have never had a relationship with a guy because some stuff ( that I would rather not get into) has happened and I just find them distrusting but now I am really looking. Has anyone felt like this or does anyone have any suggestions or advice? I would really like to know how to control myself....

Given the chance right now I would love to have that pill. Hopefully I will accept myself and others will too ( ok a dream I know) but still would be nice.

I hate that I can't just be attracted to guys, to be able to just go out on a date without lieing or being uncomfortable. It sucks. This year has been.... beyond words. Finally the truth about my girlfriend and I came out and my depression and everything and now I am " unhealthy" for any relationship( as of what my parents say) Beth and I are supposed to go to Amarillo on saturday and I don't know what I am going to do. We have planned this since like August. I just hate that I can't be me. My parents still don't like her one bit and I just can't handle it. College scares me too because my parents are going to help me and if I am with her and they find out they will flip out. My mind and heart are just tired of lieing to myself and to them. I just wish I could have been a guy or not have fallen in love. Things would be so much more... less... hurtfull.

I do want her point of view. I just don't want this to become an argue.....

Thats where I am lost. She says that whatever I want she is fine with.

This year has been a piece of work. Not a whole lot of good has happened, but what has seemed to have gotten ruined. My girlfriend and I have been going out for seven months. My parents and I are working on trying to figure this out through counciling( I'm in it now for my eating disorder and some other stuff). It is going slowly, especially now that I am going to change councelors. I have decided to go to a different school, it's called CHamps, and it will get me into college faster and out of my parents house. Though now my girlfriend and I are really limited to seeing each other now. She wants to see me as much as she can and I want the same but it is not always possible. Sometimes she gets really mad at the fact that I can't and it hurts. I have no choice right now. I am trying to get back my relationship with my parents and am trying to mend this whole ordeal with my girlfriend and parents. I don't know how to handle all this. I love my girlfriend so much but I love my parents. Part of me wants to break it off with my girlfriend until I can get this all sorted out and hopefully get back together when things are calmer. I don't want to hurt her though and I'm not really sure if I want to do it. Part of me also thinks that maybe we should just put limits to what we do, like no more lieing to get out but somehow arrange things to where we can see each other. I need help with this. Someone please offer suggestions, anything that could help me.

I feel the same way. I still check out guys and think they are hott and stuff, but I love my girlfriend and also check out girls. I am scared to actually label myself a lesbian because I don't want to do that to my parents or anybody else. I have thought I am bi but... who knows. I know where you are coming from though. It's tough. I guess it all just comes down to the person as everyone else has said.

I can relate about the mom and girlfriend situation, though mine is with both parents. All I can say is.... You gotta choose, to talk to your mom ( which is best) or to lie and go on. For me the lieing sucked and I ended up telling. Now things aren't good but it's better than before. In all honesty... no one here can really tell you what to do. We can just give you advice, it is all up to what YOU think is best.

If he is pressuring you to Have sex or to do sexual activities or anything that isn't the best boyfriend for you. You have a better respect for yourself and you demonstrated that by saying you didn't like it and for him to back off. Leave him, if he talks stuff then let him. Nothing you can change about that, but YOU will know the truth and anyone close to you will know it too. Be strong and just kick his sorry butt off to the side of the road. Good luck...

If I told them everything they wanted to hear and yet did what I wanted.. I would be lieing... Not a good choice for this situation but thanks. You said that if they tell me to do something and I dont like it to nicely talk about it and if i can't pursuade them to just go with it? Won't that be giving them the impression that they can control me without me fighting? That isn't what I am trying to accomplish here. I may have read that wrong and I'm sorry if I did.

I can relate to a tee. My home is full of tension because my parents always want to know what is going on... Mostly my mom though. By now though I have learned to keep my mouth shut and just say nothing 'cause they lost my trust as well as I have lost theirs. Anyways rambling... My time alone is when I am in my room but usually then it's never alone. My mom will walk in and bother me right when I am relaxing or just for sure curiosity. I ABSOLUTELY understand about acting a certain way or trying to pretend to be interested ect. I do that just about all the time with other people, with exceptions, anyways. I understand being fed up and having that anger. I have never done stuff when I have been fed up except get and attitude but that is how I was brought up. I don't let stuff out like others do. I'm glad you could kick that person you did to let it out, though maybe not the best but still CONGRATS!!! Feel free to chat with me anytime if you want...

The problem with just talking to them about it is... I can't. Not only would that be suicide for me but all it would do is cause and argument. So talking it out in my family is just not an option unless there is a neutral party and in my family that is no one... None of my family lives close to me... and I can't abide by their rules.... Their rules are driving me nuts.... I won't just stand by and let them do this... but I don't want to lie and go behind their backs again.... I'm at a lost...

I have asked several times for help on my parents.... Their haven't been many replies.. This time I am begging... If you want the whole story just read my other blogs... Because I can't exactly type them all up here. Pretty much right now... My parents are trying to control every choice I HAVE!!!! I had to drop a class because my dad wanted me too... now I might not get a choice in being a manager of a team because a friend of mine who they absolutely hate will be on there. I have so much anger in me right now. And I can't even start to say they are being unfair. I lied to them recently and now they will just throw that in my face. I turn 18 in October and more and more each day I am thinking that I should just move out if I want to be in control of my own life. Yet, thinking that they would hate me and be utterly pissed at me holds me back. How in the world do I get over this? How do I tell them that I want to control my life without them making decisions for me? How do I get them to back of and leave me alone.

Straight to the point: I don't know how to talk to my parents about what is going on. Situation: Ok well.. lets see this week has been a living ( oposite of Heaven). My parents found out that I have been seeing my girlfriend, who to them is just my friend, behind their backs. They only know of one instance of me actually seeing her, though I have been sneeking around this whole summer. They pretty much HATE my girlfriend now and they told me that after I have done my " thinking" if I wanted her in my life I had to talk to them about it. Which is bull to me since I will be turning 18 in October, but how do I tell them that I want them to leave me and who my friends are alone? To stop protecting me and let me live MY life without them trying to sheild me from everything? They want to know why I lied to them and I told them why but they wont believe it 'cause it is not what they want to hear. It's the truth though? What am I supposed to do? Just make up an answere that they will accept because if that is it I can't. There is no right answere. This isn't the first time I have lied to them.. but this is the first time I did it and they both found out. What I don't get though is that I see her once and talked to her a few times( ok or so I said) and they flip out, but when I snuck a guy... A GUY ... into their home my mom didn't get this angry or anything. Does that make sense? Could they really be that big of hipocrits and do that just because they are " uncomfortable" around her? My parents do know that my girlfriend and I have kissed and well earlier before we had gotten together my mom..." heard" us. Bad.. Yes... In the past.. Yes.. Do I regret telling her and doing that? Yes because if I had known all this crap would have happened then I would never have told her and never would have let my girlfriend finger me. Yes I know I have screwed this all up for me. My girlfriend though has done nothing to them. Just because I told them earlier before I knew her that she cut and what they have heard around our town they dont like her. They are so judgmental and think that she is physically abusive? Yeah ok.... We ruffhoused and yeah I came home with some bruises but those were my fault.. we are just messing. I just don't know how to tell them to leave me alone and let me grow up. To let me live my life without them. If I knew I wouldn't hurt them I would leave. I would move out and leave. Yet they would get sooo mad at me and hurt that idk. Anytime I think of doing something for me all I think is them. What is wrong with me? Can anyone help? Please anyone if you have anything to say just tell me. If there is more you want to know just let me know. Pm me or whatever.. Thanks... Playfull06