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Bibora

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Everything posted by Bibora

  1. Bibora
    Im going to the same stage as you are, maybe a little more intense cause my brake is more recent (2 month). Sometimes i feel like im better, but then suddenly it's like the end of the world... During a full day, except when im sleeping if i don't think on her for like 10 minutes total that is too much... Well she was my 1st real relation, and i saw in her the woman of my life, so now that is over im taking this very hard. But i'm trying so hard to just let it go and it just doesn't happen...
  2. Bibora
    These feelings are really driving me mad... Sometimes i think im going into some depression... Can't seem to focus my mind. It's all full of what if, what will i do if, what will happen if... I even argue with myself when i enter on this state of mind... It's like im carrying a sense of guilt. I know that im to blame with what happen, but then i also feel anger because of the things she made to me, and it's like i want to explode it over her...
  3. Bibora
    Well, im in the same boat as you. Should i mail her? Well my head says no, my heart says go ahead. My head says my heart will always hurt if i keep on contacting her, trying to be her friend. My heart wants it... So i need to analyse it. That's the 1st step. Will it be better or worse to be friends. Maybe in time, that is what i think right now. ok step one is done. Now the most important one. Does she wants to be friends with me? That's step 2, and one that i cannot do anything to it. It's her call. If she doesn't want to be friends i have to accept it. And its the same with yours. Ok you wanna try to be friends. Are you sure of it? Is it what you really want? But even if you are sure, what she wants its what she wants. So no matter how much emails you send or not. Its her call... If you wanna do it, be ready for everything.
  4. Bibora
    Hey everyone. After my breakup in finals of November I passed the month of December hurting, so i decided to myself, that its time to put it behind and start 2005 anew. Well it start nicely, feeling less hurt and enjoying a little, so i thinked to myself (even posted here that i was making better). Well, i guess im wrong, really wrong... You see, im having this feelings again, but now its different. Its like i'm missing something. Something i must do, or say. I feel in myself and im sure of it, that i did lots of wrong things to her, that i wish i could change (actually i told her i was really sorry for what i did - she didn't care much about it), and now i'm just looking for a way to make it up (don't get me wrong, nothing to do with get back). I dunno, but everytime i socialize with ppl, or go out alone, hell, everytime i still think of her. And the worst is that i imagine what would i do or say if she would ever appear in front of me again. I try to make sense to myself and tell me that it is stupid, that i'm waiting for something that wont happen and that in some part of me i don't want it to happen. It's like 2 persons inside of me. One trying to be mercyfull and to go there and say to her im sorry, to know that she forgives me and the other one tell me to stop thinking on it, just let it go and move on with my life... I know i want to move on with my life but at this moment, again, im in a crossroad. I know that no matter what i do, i'll end up loosing something. If i tell her, i will risk not receiving a reply and just be ignored (well to some extend its well deserved) or i should just move on, confront this feeling and just let her go permanently (wish she also deserves it to some extend). Hope this doesn't sound too confusing to you all... I feel like my head is a mess...
  5. Bibora
    It seems all too nice that stuff. Well i'm a non-believer in God and in all that involves him... So i guess when we die we just shut our eyes and that is it. Sorry sounding too harsh but that's what i think.
  6. Bibora
    I'd like to have an input on the needy term too.. Does it makes you needy to be always with one you love? I mean, when i was with my ex, nothing would give me more pleasure then to be with her, in her company. Is that being needy? If so, if i get in another relation, i would be in a very different position, i mean being more cold/distant in a the relation... And i don't think that is smart...
  7. Bibora
    In my case with my ex something in this context had happened. When we were with her friends she would always ignore me and would always talk to the them. Damn she would pass a full day with them and only see me in the evening and yet she would have more time to them than to me... And for 3 times with one dude she did things that i cannot tolerate and for it seems pretty normal... 1st time i ever saw this guy was in a meeting of students (she invited me), so after she found him she left me alone and stayed all evening talking with this guy... 2nd time she went alone with this guy again to dance in a disco (i dont know about you, but i really hated this move). And the 3rd again with this guy, she went with him to a concert (ok she did invited me but i couldnt afford a ticket). So if that was pretty normal for her, for me was the worse thing she could have done to me... I wouldn't do this to her... But hey, talk to your girl, see what she has to say about it. Don't do as me shutting up and taking all this crap...
  8. Bibora
    Hmmm stalker alert? I think he still wants you back in his life, and the friends stuff is to get close to you. No one would be desperate to get friendship with someone else, if the other person wouldn't want. Did you broke up with him? I know, sort of, how this stalker stuff works, cause my ex when she broke up with her other BF received lots of emails and message over msn and he was really annoying. She was so paranoid over it, that any guy with resemblance to him, would be him. But that happened in the first month after they break up, then he sort of stopped. She actually called him ghost... So i guess you have yourself a ghost too...
  9. Bibora
    I agree with Sdw, sometimes people can cut someone off their life even it was a really special person. It's weird but it happens. Sometimes i still say to myself that someday my ex will try to contact me, but if i keep waiting for that i won't move on. I refuse myself to send her any email or anything else, like i did before, because it just a waste of time and a torture to myself waiting for a reply that won't happen. Whatever you do, don't contact her. Enough is enough. If she wants to be friends let her look for you, cause that is what you want. Do your life first cause she is out of it. But i still don't know why in most cases the dumpee wants to be friend with the dumper... They dumped you, hurt your feelings and still you want to be friends? It's just too much for me to take. I would never see my ex as true friend or anything like that. Just someone who destroyed my dreams and hopes. But that is just me...
  10. Bibora
    Bingo! Exactly what i feel... Like she took me for granted and i wasn't more of challenge... So it's like, ok this one is too easy. Not much here anymore. And then she comes with crap like she cares, she wants me to be happy, bla bla bla... Well actually i do think as you. It is better to blow off now then later on when things would be depper. I was considering moving to her country to live with her. At least i didn't do that. I don't know what would happened if we broke up there... Now im going on living in day to day, but yes thinking on her, but differently then before. Ok still hurts sometimes but its different. And maybe, just maybe, one day i will thank her to leave me. It was for the best. At least im sure it was for me. Good luck for you too Alphonsefa! Hope everything goes great for you!
  11. Bibora
    Hmmm yeah... been there. Meet this once wonderfull girl over internet (yeah, it all started over the internet), who was suffering in a rather cumbersome relation. He wasn't sure if he wanted her or not, and this feeling of unsure made her feel really bad. Actually before this guy she already had broken up with her 4 years BF in the beginning of the year. So she was down having failed in 2 relations in such a short time. Then i entered the scene, and instead of going slow and support her and see where it could go we fall in love really quickly. Well i felt for the 1st time in my life really in love with someone and the same coming from that person, or at least that's what i thought. Well 3 month into the relation (short but intense), she start feeling out of love from me, like the spark was gone and from then on it just went down fall... I feel like i was used to help her heal up and then thrown away... Now after we broke up, everything is gone. The trust, the love, the care... The magic... And if she would come and knock at my door, begged me to come back, i wouldn't go... Simply because it wouldn't be never the same (and the fact that she made things to me that are way too much hurtfull)
  12. Bibora
    It goes from person to person... That's what i think. But wait, until you meet a person who can't lie.... Then i don't know what is worst...
  13. Bibora
    I don't know if i should wait or not for it. Wasn't a long relationship but was intense... But at the same time, something tells me she will. May be wrong. But whatever comes won't affect me. The way she reacts to my birthday will be exactly the same way ill react to hers. Simply as that.
  14. Bibora
    Basically everything i have that reminds me of her is gone. Either i gave it back or simply deleted (nothing was thrown away). Except for a blouse and a sweater (not sure how it is write). That actually i don't use it at all. The things i have is stuff from her and she requested it. So i decided that i'm gonna send it by mail (i'll pay the ports, but won't mind) but won't put any letter or anything at all. I'm pretty hurt with the way she acted the last time we meet, and i promised myself i wouldn't throw myself on her again. So no letters. Would be stupid of my part to do so, as i don't seek friendship with someone who doesn't trust me. Only after she realises what she did, i might consider something...
  15. Bibora
    This post might sound a bit silly but i still would like to know what would be the smarter thing to do... Well it goes like this. After my last meeting with my ex, i told her that there were still some things from her in the house, and she asked me to sent it to her. I agreed to send it and will do so. My question is, would i send a letter together with it, or just let things go? I mean, to be polite and kind, nothing else. I don't want her back after what happened, and i'm alot better now, after almost 2 month of break and i don't want to go the same road i was before again. Just a small letter wishing her well and happiness... I must add that in our last meeting she hurted me, and worse she didn't trust me (she had friends there, acting like bodyguards... and i didn't do anything that bad to have such behaviours...). So is she worth the effort, or shall i just send the stuff and forget about it once and for all?
  16. Bibora
    The same here. I am fortunate enough to found such a great community that helps other dealing with this problems. When i was with my ex, i told her, if she would left me i wouldn't know what to do with my life. Well she did left me, and guess what? I'm still here, feeling alot better with each passing day. Ok there are things that i still need to change in myself (like being less of a loner), but since we broke up (less than 2 month) now im actually feeling better 8) And with a great help from this foruns. I wont be over her 100% but at least i've realised that i moved out of a relation that wouldn't make me as happy as i would like. This foruns are a great help, thanks alot. PS: If any want to pass some nice vacations in Portugal, i can get you a room for free in Lisboa.
  17. Bibora
    Indeed a very good post. Its been almost 2 month since we break up and im following those advices (sort off - meet her once since we broke up). Well made a promise to myself at the beginning of 2005 not to look for her, not to know what she is doing and even asked my friends that if i start talking about her, to shout a me to be quiet and let it go. And it seems its working. Yeah, i still think on her, but less and with less sorrow than before. And i think we are going the same way as you went, Steve, becoming total strangers to each other. And i don't feel sorry about it. Afterall is her loss, not mine. I keep myself to someone else who deserves all the good i can give. And i can give alot...
  18. Bibora
    I think its easier to forgive than forget... Although sometimes its hard to forgive... But check my signature
  19. Bibora
    In the beginning i thought the same. NC as being childish. My ex wouldn't contact me or anything while i was sending her mails, sms... Then finally after 5 weeks she contact me cause she wanted to say something. I did went to see her, and it made me feel really worse. I wish she continued NC. So now, i think NC is for the best. If you really want to forget (or at least not think much) then this is the best. I don't see it to be childish, it's just a selfesteem mechanism. I always say, me first then i will see what to do about her (if i ever want her in my life again in some way).
  20. Bibora
    Zab dude, told you already to go for NC at least for now. Its better for you. it helps out, i know. Im there and going better. Being friends with someone you really love will be hard. Imagine, you hanging around with her, and she fooling around with another guy? Not for me thx. Happy new year for you too. Chat with you over msn whenever you want
  21. Bibora
    I'm affraid mine ended like that. But for the moment i think its for the best.
  22. Bibora
    Well my ex broke up with me 5 weeks or something but im starting to find a way to move her out of my mind. It may sound cheap or not the best solution but for me it helps. Simply i start to feel that she had also guilt in what happen and although i feel sorry for what i did to her (which i am trully) i cannot pass my life feeling sorry for someone who obviously didn't love me enough to fix the problems. And another event help me to move on. This week she said she would give me an opportunity to meet her (maybe one last time, which i hope so). For a moment there i thought, ok this might be just to understand each part and at least try friendship. Well it wasn't. Was just to make me feel more guilty and to bother me. She is really a problematic person, and im starting to feel glad im not with her anymore. What happened with us would eventually happen sooner or later. So what can i say? Start thinking only on yourself, what went wrong in the relation, was it only your fault or not, if so say to her you are sorry and if she doesn't accept it, its her problem. Move on with your life, get hobbies, go to a gym, meet new ppl. You are young and you have a life ahead of you. Don't waste it for one person that obviously doesn't love enough.
  23. Bibora
    What if the injured part doesn't accept that you are trully sorry and that you wished that what you have done didn't ever happened? What are you suppose to? Just move on or be there beating yourself because of it?
  24. Bibora
    Carefull with that. Do as Princess and Prosper said. Get some hobbies or something to be busy when you aren't with him. I passed the same you are through, i missed her much, annoyed (yes jealous sometimes ) when she was with others as she was surrounded with guys, and sometimes possessive. I didn't had any hobbies, nor friends in this new city, so i was more attached to her as she was my only company. And what did i get? She breaked up with me cause she couldn't continue.
  25. Bibora
    This is really a tragedy The stories i heard about this makes my situation seem like insignificant. My deepest sympathies to those who lost their loved ones. As one last request, i would like to ask everyone who used msn or similar programs to do the following (i think most of you know this): Please put a X before you name in memory of the thousands how have died and missing in the Asia quakes which killed more than 37,000 people. Thank u
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