Aika

ok here's the deal... I met this girl about 2 months ago, she was an aqcuaitance of my best friend...(he knows her cos' she's a friend of his girlfriend) I told him what was on my mind... only her, and then he decided to help me. So I began approaching her and talking to her a lot, began knowing her and all.. but I noticed that my pal was doing sort of the same thing..., which of course was normal at the time, I asked for his help right?... then at a party... It was my chance... so I tried to get close to her but she would only hang out with my friend.. so ok.. I waited... for hours... they were all like over there afar from everyone and I got mad, started drinking and then went to bed to avoid duing crazy stuff that I could regret... the next day we went home, he told me that he had a fight with his girfriend (which I noticed... cos they been like this for a year... fighting, getting together and again and again...) and then I asked what the hell was all that about with MY girl... and he said "ahh right... sorry man she said she likes you but at the same time she likes you not... you get it right..?" and it was like.... what the hel.. so ok, I had to take it.. she liked him, but according to my pal he would never try anything with her cos she's a friend of her girfriend...so I just trusted him... hes my best friend since way back... something happened... me and my pal had a discussion wih another friend of ours.... and sort of got away from her... some time happened... I kept seeing the girl of my dreams getting real close with my best friend all the time but I kept my mind focused..."he's not going to screw you over, he's your friend..." but about 4 days ago, the girl we had a fight with, came to me and we actually spoke... she told me a lot of what was really going on... my friend was doing a lot of talking about her and got her in truble at school... while she complained at me because of my pal's attitude she told me some other thing... shes a friend of the girl i'm crazy about and she knows everything about her... including that she was real heartbroken since she and my friend shared a love sesion...after which he just wouldn't take her seriously because he was back with her girlfriend.... so he DID screw me over... he didn't even told me about it and he kept smiling at me all these days... made a fool of me.... and the truth is, i'm writting here because I just don't know how to react... don't know what to do... anyone please help? what should I do? I see this guy everyday at school, and in almost everything... I mean we go WAY back and now with all of this i'm really confused.... please reply ^^U

ok.. It's been a while since I broke up with my gf, about 3 or 4 months .. not shure, anyways... the story goes somehow like this: we had problems that weren't really that big... however, they were there and eventually things happened and here I am now broken hearted, looking for some help... cause I loved my ex so much, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her... but it was just a dream.. in the process of breaking up she did some really ugly things... she didn't notice I think, the thing is I couldn't take it and broke all contact with her, and to tell you the truth it fell really good... at that time.. now it's been some time since that happened and I just can't stop thinking about her, wondering how she's doing, etc.. just can't take her out of my mind.. very oftenly I feel so anxiuos... it's just that I simply lost everything along with her, even my own reason to go on so... after all this time I gathered enouh courage to send her a Merry chrissmas mail... she didn't reply (she send me one for my birthday after I broke contact with her.. so I did this to check on ho things are still going..) so.. to make it short, I'm really lost sometimes some really weird ideas get to me, scary things, trust me.. O.o and just.... that's it.. can anyone tell me what can I do?... i've trying everything to just let go and forget about it but it doesn't seem to work.. and I don't think it'll ever work ... please .. help?

well.... i thought things could't go worse than they were.... I was wrong yesterday I finally dared to tell her everything (on the phone though coz it's hard to see her in person with enough time) well.. I told her everything... but she still thinks the same way about it... said some things that really got to me and... I couldn't take it anymore.. hanged up and started drinkin.. (a lot) and suddenly, there I was destroying everything on sight teared my whole room down, broke windows .... etc mi mom and brother came to see what was happening and the saw me trying to kill myself with a tie.... they managed to stop me and when I got toghether I noticed my brother calling mi ex and saying all kinds of stuff to her... she hanged up... today I saw her again.. in person... she doesn't know what I did but she's mad about what my brother told her, told me that she doesn't wan to talk with me about getting back together ever again... coz I get mad and want to hear only what I want to hear (it is true... and I explained why is that before in this forum) and there is no reason for her to take all the things my brother told her (my brother was crying on the phone scared as hell while I still had a tie hanging on my neck) well... it sort of means there is no way i'll get her back now... she just doesn't care anymore and well.... now I don't know what the hell to do... I still feel the same way but now in a even worse situation......

I still haven't sent her the letter or talked to her or anything.... i mean besides this morning when I saw her for about 5 minutes, i've only thought about her and gettin brave enough to tell her everything ... no matter what I HAVE to get her back.. as I said before I can't even think about living in this world without her.. by myself I'm nothing, I need her coz she's the only reason for my to keep going .... so I am still not ready I think... I just don't dare to say what I really want to say to her, and I get scared to think that when I get ready it may be too late.... the letter is still in my pocket and I still think writing the e-mail might be the best way to let her know all this... but i'm just not sure about her feelings, i'm really scared i might get turned down again....

see.. you got in the point... im really desperate, just right now I cried like a little baby cause mi ex said hi.. and then bye like nothing.... just when I was willing and daring to tell her what I feel...... right now i'm a Drunk bastard.. can't help it you know?... i wrote a letter for her for not getting lost myself, everytime i talk to her i give it a read and remember where I am and everything and really... I've thinking about not living anymore... just can't take it... so i was thining about writing an e-mail to her saying what the the letter I wrote says so I can stop this pain once and for all and know what she really feels... im scared though... i's quite normal to feel this way lately so I've got to nothing to lose (exept my own life which really means nothing to me anymore) so what do U say.. should I or should I not write her the e-mail... pls be quick to answer coz i'll be waiting right now..... thanks a lot... cya

Hi there here I am again coz my problem gets deeper and deeper to the point I'm desperate and completely lost so... some advice would really be appreciated ^^ the thing is, I posted before about my GF and no contact stuff... didn't work cause she insist in us being friends now and even when I tried it we use to frecuent the same places so she noticed... I've been trying to let go and forget about it but I discovered it is impossible for me... no matter what I do, there she is back in my head again and I know it sounds the typical case but I know it isn't... cause when I remember whats to come, her eventually meeting someone else and forgetting about the times she said she would love me for ever ..it causes me a horrible stomach ache and even anxiety... in other words... I really cant live this reality, dont wanna live in a wolrd where she is not meant for me, I just can't, so.... I've decided to try one more time to go back to her but whenever I try to speak to her about it I get constrained just to see her happy face with her friends and her nice attitude towards me... i'm really confused cause I'm really suffering because of all this break up stuff which she does not even seem to remember ... I started drinkin.. sometimes I just can't take it, so to shut the pain up I get a little glass (don't need much of that stuff coz it gets to me real fast hehe) and well... sometimes I look at her msn profile and while she changes her picture, she doesn't change the personal data, it still says she's not single (same in my case since I noticed that) I also notice some jealously when I talk to her about other girls or when she sees pictures of me with them ... but her attitude.. I don't know, for me losing her is losing absolutly everything, and she seems the same as always after this whole thing... so please please, advice me coz ím about to explode just to think about all this, can' take it anymore... should I really keep beggin? or is it taking me nowhere but deeper in her memories ... or is she just pretending her smile like I do.... I do all this coz I know there is no one who could ever lover as much as I do, and if I don't get her back I could start thinkin about a good brigde to jump from U_U thanks to all who reply in advance.

I think this sounds dumb but i wanna know exactly what does NO CONTACT mean is it like keep seeing my ex but showing no interest fo her or more like not even seeing her, kinda getting her completely out the system until she's missed me enough?? just wondering cause in my case its kinda hard not seeing her anymore, besides the NC ... I don't know, I get the idea that she does miss me sometimes but when I see her (complete casuality) I feel like she doesn't care at all, and sometimes... ok, very often, I think she tries to make me jealous (like she did when we were together...) and well... the thing is how should I apply the NC technique?? could anybody advice me on this one please?

mm well..yeah sounds reasonable.. but it's just so hard... I love her a lot.. I've never felt this way for someone... so It's not so simple for me to make a choice here well one thing.. pretty often she stays over this guys place, and in parties where shes the only girl, and there are like 7 guys, well.. so long this been going im kinda used, but about the whole thing.. i'd love if it could change.. i'd love it if she could see what I mean... but she just wont give her part to understand this... yet, I don`t wanna lose her ... its a real killer

Hi there, I posted before about mi GF don't know if you remember, anyways now I'm in a big trouble, it started as jealously, but now don't know what it is.. see.. remember the virginity stuff?, I posted before, that i talked to her about the whole thing and the thing got a little ugly.. but well, it got worked out and everything was fine, however.. as something got fixed up, a new problem that wasn't so big n stuff started to bother me, it's her friends, I don't know all of them, but hell, a LOT of friends.. she always hangs around with this guy I know, a cool nice guy and a friend of mine as well who has two little twin brothers, she spends a lot of time with the brothers trio when im not around cause of school and stuff. The thing is i started noticing that when i'm with her she's all normal like, hi, kisses n stuff, but when she gets a phone call from this guys she laughs and talk a lot, like an hour on the phone, and then goes out with them and I see this complete new face all happy laughing alone.. so I wonder, what's that about o__o it happens a lot, I have this weird school schedule and when i gotta go study, she hangs out with them, sometimes she stays over there all night and I get photos of this "parties" in all of them I see her huggin one of peter's (the nice guy i told you about) younger brothers, always very close, laughing, almost kissing sometimes this little guy is 14 and she's 20 so i don't care that much... but it gets me real upset, cause i know this kid like's her and i see pictures of them sleeping together all huggin n stuff .. sort of a kick in the stomach to me y'know ... well i talked to her about this thing and about what it does to me, and she say's it's a lie, cause for her there's nothing else in the world than me, the smile changing when she goes out with them its real... but she won't admit it, i've talked to her friends sometimes and they seem to know very intimate things about her that I don't even knew o.O so i wonder... do I really know her??? after i talked to her about that thing she got real mad, and we didn't see each other for 4 days, i got mad to, i mean.. the one with the real head killing was me and she got all mad cause of that but well, we talked again and got together again, however things wasn't the same... we both have 2 MSN accounts, one for the normal public, friends n stuff, and another private one, for us two alone, now she will only conect the normal one, and put's weird things in her avatar and her nickname. avatar pictures of her hugging that kid, or kissing him (when she used to put photos of us together) and weird confusing nicknames, like strange poems. one was to that kid, saying "hold me, cause this empty world breaks my heart" or.. something like that.. imagine how it was eating my head So again I talked to her.. what the hell is this all about and she told me that for her the only thing she loved was me, I was her wolrd etc.. but after I told her that, everything changed, because while we spent 4 days without knowing anything about each other, her friends were with her cause they missed her (missed her? they spent almost everyday together and it was only them who cared about her those days (it was me who'd toss my friends when she asked me to spent more time with her, and it was me the one who'd only think of her every single day...) so, she decided not to be separate from her friends anymore, cause it was no way to thank them. ok, she was mad, and backing herself up by the very reason i broke my head in the firt place, for her there is her friends an me, while im blind only for her... by the time this was happening she was all mad again and started hurting me with hings she said, like the virginity?? she started that mess again, I was starting to get over it, i didn't care about that anymore, but she told me things, and.. that stuff.... reopened my wound and pretty deep now. She told me she wanted time, so right now we're not together and the reason I post this is because I'm thinking of defintly breaking up with her, I feel I've lost her forever, and that things won't ever be the same... so she wants time... to come back with me after she spents aaaalll day long with her friends, sleeping toghether with that "crazy hands" little ...... while I've missing her like crazy... I don't know, so ... plz advice me... i've never been so lost

thanks a lot for replying, see... I talked to her about the virginity problem, the thing went a little complicated in the beggining, cause I messed it up a bit by gettin a little mad and stuff, she got sad.. and told me it was all a mistake, that she has been trying to forget about all that, then, the next day I saw her and apologized for everything .. we're all good again, but... the truth is im still trying to let it go.. I don't feel any good about it.. and it gets even worst by the guy coming to her place... the thing is, that I told her that it a real %=&$# for me the fact that this guy is staying in her house for a week... and well, she told me that she'll try to not let it happen.. like, stoping the whole thing... however, it's been like almost a month since that, and all she does about it is talk with him (as always) on the msn, all nice and stuff, talk about everything, and nothing to stop him from coming.. and we're on august already so... don't really know what the hell.... I supusse i just won't mention anything and let this happen to see how it goes.. and what she does..and about staying around her... I think I'll stay a little away.. firts cause I don't wanna see the guy, and not more when she's with him o.O and second... I trust her and I now she won't do anything, but sort of to show her i`m not happy about it, cause I told her about all this before and it seems she didn't listen, maybe she'll understand this way.. well, as before, thanks to everyone for your replys, and hope you can help again to see what I can do

see, I posted about this some time ago it's about my GF ... i'm a virgin but she is not, she's 20 and has had 2 BF's before me, she told me she slept with the first one, she was with him for 3 years, so it wasn't necesary to tell me that, it was ovious as I said it in the other post, this has been killing me for the 7 months we have been together and talked about it a lot of time ago, we couldn't get to the bottom of it cause I got scared...scared to lose her for something like this... it's hard to talk about this, for me it is embarrasing, because I love her a lot and she loves me, so i should let this go but I cant.... every time I feel a little down, this comes into my head and get's everything worst and now I've decided to try and forget it... yet there is something I need todo before that, I want to talk to her about it, but I lack the courage... there've been many times that I had really felt like telling this to her... but I can't, then I get all depressed and she notices it, and thinks i`m angry at her or something like that... ok now, that's the thing...and this is what I need advice at, I've decided to talk to her about it one last time, get to the very bottom of it before i can let this go, however... might sound clumsy, but there I am.... lacking the courage... it's so hard to tell her about this...cause i get embarrased to be troubled by something like this and because I get scared by many reasons.... if you could advice me on what to do... id appreciate it a lot, really want to tell her but don`t know how.

well i guess you're right, i do love her a lot, so I'll try to let it go... though it'll be pretty hard... i really appreciate your help.... but now i have another problem... could sound exagerated again, it's about her ex again... see they're still good friends and talk a lot, I don't like that much, but well.. i respect her, however... i know for sure that the guy still want's her, told me himself.... on january she went ans stayed in his house for a week, and he lives 1800 miles away ... and now, i found out not by her, that he is coming to her place for a week now on August.... well... don't know what to think.. first the virginity issue and now the guy is coming back on the picture.... im kinda losing it.. O.o.. so.. again, tell what do you think of it, and advice me cause i don't know what to do.... [/i]

see... this could sound dumb..but for me it is a big problem T____T i've had a girlfriend for 7 months now, im 17 and she's 20 and we really love each other, the more the time goes by, the more I love her... but, 6 months ago I discovered something about her, she had a boyfriend for 3 years, before another ex-boyfriend that i know.... I've had no other girlfriends before her, and i really feel like she's the one... she really makes me feel she loves me... but im a virgin, and she's not.. i can`t get that out of my head... i talked to her about it, but we didn't get to the bottom of it, because i didn't want to... im scared to loose her for something like that... yet, as time passes by, that thought comes back to my head... and now it is really hurting me.... don't know if I can take it anymore, in a beggining it wasn't so bad, but now I can't take it... i'm giving her something that she didn't save for me that's how I feel about it.... Now.. if anyone could tell me what you think about it plz tell me what should I do, i'd appreciate it .