xmrth

I use Trivora, which is a generic substitute for Triphasil. They don't do much except what they're supposed to do, and I don't have terrible cramps anymore. I'd like to try something that's good for skin but I don't want to push my luck. If it made me break out or made anything worsen then I'd definitely do what you're doing and change to something else because a lot of people have problems with a lot of pills until they get the right one for them.

Well that was definitely all at once-- they just brought the whole mess of themselves over there. I wouldn't worry about it though because it's not your family that has the issues, it's just those two. I don't know what you could do-- them doing coke all night, and your cousin dating someone 20 years younger than her and just everything... have your relatives done anything about it?

I thought he was going to be doing all these other things on Christmas Eve, but it turned out I was wrong and I'm so happy I was. Christmas Eve was okay, but Christmas itself was a lot better-- things were just much better. I feel so bad though because I said something stupid at his house on Christmas Eve, which I didn't think was that bad at first but his mother got a little mad, and I had NO idea until yesterday. I didn't -want- to leave but it was okay, and I wasn't the first one leaving. Actually, after I got up to leave, everyone else started to leave! But my boyfriend was tired, so I said to his parents and to two close people who asked, and I told them "I'm leaving... oh he's tired." But I wasn't mad about it! I just wanted to explain why the girlfriend was leaving, you know? And I didn't mind to leave-- I was there a while... And whatever-- my boyfriend was tired and he SHOWED it, and I don't want to even think about anyone making a connection to him slouching and me, so SO what if I said that he was tired and that's why I had to leave? Is it probably nothing-- like maybe she's not mad at me. My boyfriend said she just didn't know why I had to say it when other people were leaving, too. But I said it just to them and to two people who I know pretty well that were right there because they asked. And nobody else got up until I did.

Thanks so much-- I've been trying to clean and it's been helping a LOT. I feel a great lack of energy and that is getting in the way, though. I guess I just feel like I should have a job... but now I feel more relaxed being home for another couple of weeks. I'm preparing myself to go back, and it's coming along nice-- getting organized and things like that. But I am so so bored, I can't stand it. I have been bored since yesterday (Christmas afternoon). I may go shopping but there's so much traffic and shoppers, and it's raining. But that is another solution I'll use this week probably.

What I was so fearful of did not happen. I had a miserable day worrying over absolutely everything.

wow... I've been with my boyfriend since 1999, 7 years. He was 1 year older than me too, but we were both Freshman. I wanted to go out with other people, too. Pretty much all throughout the relationship (due to being young and things like that) up until I almost lost him over it a few years ago. And I realized no, I want him, he's the one I want. If you're already dating other girls and she's not even flinched, then it's time to move on I would say... of course don't date just to get her to, but do what you really want to do. She's being honest with you telling you not to wait. Even I couldn't do that those years ago. I don't think it's because of you mentioning marriage that she wanted out... because SO many people get freaked out about it, it's hard to narrow that down to the reason why. If she had it in her to want to leave, she was going to no matter what. Martha

That's how I am too with comparing it to the last time seeing him and whatnot. I don't know if he went out last night but I figured his friends HAD to have been home since it had been so long since they were and they were home this time last year. I don't know... there's other things regarding that and I'm upset he may be a total liar about it. I was talking to a guy I go to school with (last week-- prior to all of this and just in regular conversation) and he was telling me some things he lies to his girlfriend about but he loves the girl so much, been with her for a few years now and is so good to her. He's lied for 2 years now about having quit smoking and told me things about how he feels about marriage... and I wonder and see a connection with my boyfriend on some levels, his friends in particular and how I react to them. I don't think this makes it okay, but I feel like this makes it more common? I don't know. I'm upset that it's Christmas time... Christmas Eve... I'm upset. I'm supposedly still going over his house. He actually wanted me there. Usually he'd not care. And now he doesn't want me there but whatever I can still go. I told him I wouldn't go out of frustration but I didn't mean it. I didn't know he cared. I am killing myself wondering how today and tomorrow would have been had we not had this fight last night. I am so upset...

One thing you can do is ask them what they did this week/day/weekend, or what their plans are. Somewhere in there they should mention doing something with the boyfriend, I'd hope. And you could also get into a conversation that is fun and comfortable and just ask, "hey, you got a boyfriend?" And if they do, then you go ahead and follow up with what their plans are for the weekend or something, so you don't seem like you just got shot down or anything. If they say no, of course you would say whatever it is you planned to say if they said "Oh, no I don't have one" to you asking "so why isn't your boyfriend here tonight?"

I want to do that so badly-- just let things happen, just let everything go and happen and stop controlling everything. Or even trying to control everything does the same damage. Now I know they are home and obviously I won't say anything to him except ask. But he won't come over today, nice day out, long day ahead before Christmas Eve family gatherings and whatnot so he will undoubtedly go and have more fun with other people than he has with me probably in a long time. Every weekend we've been having has been terrible. Fridays are okay, Saturdays are far less than perfect, and Sundays are how the whole weekend should have been except by then it's too late. I'm just so upset because we already exchanged gifts and we should have happy times around now and instead we're not. I told him to forget all about last night along with me and I know he can't; he's still aggravated. But I can because it's easy for me to just forget it all when it's THAT stupid. All because he was going to leave at 10:30... all because I asked him for some strange unknown reason-- no idea why. I felt like that was too early-- 11 would have been fine which he probably would have left at that time anyway but I did want him to sleep over for just a little bit until 1 or 2 like always instead. And then I felt like the clock was ticking away and all the nice things I wanted to do with him I had to fit them all in. We spent over an hour fighting and then went out for dinner like we should have about 2 hours before that, and happier. I told him it was my fault and it was, it was all so stupid and it ruined this entire weekend. I am so upset and I hate myself so much over it. I really wonder if I'd be seeing him this afternoon if last night didn't happen like it did. I don't know what I can do about it because I keep preparing myself for each weekend when we see eachother and plan to have nice evenings and do nice things but some way, some how, it gets ruined.

I do think so... I keep him from his friends... and he'd never keep me from mine. I feel so guilty right now. And so sick and so scared. He said everything's fine but he's MAD just about everything. I'm scared because of this being kept and from the argument.

He said I wasn't welcome for xmas eve AFTER I was just so frustrated I said I wouldn't go but I would. He said yeah everything's fine but he's mad. Won't pick up his phone at this point but earlier said you know where I live. I will be there but still... everything else... I will have to update about later. I have to come back.

I don't remember what I said to him. I don't do that but I just felt like it tonight. He will no longer pick up. He wanted to leave at 10:30 and I didn't know why. I got upset because I felt like if I didn't ask he'd still be here now sleeping next to me. He said if people were home he'd leave at 9. I don't care now. I snooped now and his friends ARE home... it only makes sense nothing's changed but I can only blame myself. I'd be upset if he snooped on me too... I don't care tonight. I will care later. I know its bad... Any other night I'd never snoop but tonight.

Something isn't right. I don't want to be a cool kid and I wont pretend to type stupid. But I feel really sick and my boyfriend won't answer. I snooped his voicemail and his friends are home from Iraq. I asked him tonight if that was why he wanted to leave at 10:30 so badly. Now I know why. I drank more than I can handle and I wanted to explain why I am having a hard time. I'm really scared he's ,mad at me enough to cheat on me. I just said things I don't mean and he's so mad at me. As soon as he leaves he's on the phone and it beeps when he's on the other line on a cell like an cell. Says he's not on the other line but he was.... now I know why. He lied to me. I'm so upset. What is wrong. I would be the first one to enjoy pointing out someone trying to be cool while drunk and typing on the internet. But I will be up for a while and need advice. I don't have proof he went out but I id ask him if people were home and he said no. And they are. I snooped.

I'm on here so much now. My boyfriend and I exchanged xmas gifts tonight. It was a nice night up until I don't even know when. I feel like I ruin everything and in fact, I do ruin everything. I'm not stupid and I know that I have spellcheck on so I won't talk like I don't know what I'm saying, but we went out for drinks right now and I feel okay. But I know when I wake up I will feel terrible again. He didn't for the reason I did. I like to come here because when I tell my girlfriends anything they say, oh, you have gone out for 7 years... everything will be okay. I was sad because he was going to leave at 10:30 because I wanted him to come over and sleep over like he usually does on Saturday nights. I don't know why I even asked him when he was going to leave but it came up. A lot of weekends we have are ruined... not because of incompatibility but because I feel like I can get upset over nothing and complain for nothing. I push buttons and go as far as I can go. I feel so bad... he said he was looking at rings, and he was going to buy me a $1,000 ring just as a regular gift but it was too much for right now for him. And I feel like he was completely hinting towards Valentine's day because he mentioned it a few times. He said he was happy he didn't get it for me after a night like tonight and I'm so upset. I am so filled to the brim with guilt. Later on he said he was happy he didn't get it for me and other things I can't remember. I blame myself. He wanted me over for Christmas Eve but now I don't know how he feels. And I can't think straight, we finally did go out for dinner and he is okay and fine. But I drank so much and want to keep calling him and saying sorry. He only left 30 minutes from when he was going to leave.. It wasn't worth me getting upset. He's just home now it wasn't for any reason. I am embarrassed. I want to wake up and feel better in the morning. We had a bad night and Exchanged x-mas gifts. I feel like I don't deserve a thing from him. Martha

You know what you could use too is the spray booths. They spray you with really good sunless tanner, and they supposedly won't make you look orange. I'm thinking of my New Years resolution to be stop (sun) tanning for good and maybe use those since my commitment is up in January. You should try those and maybe only use those.

You can get them at a tanning salon, maybe the one you go to, and also online... but I would try to stop, or like I said if you have to go and you can't get yourself to say no to it then go seldomly and use sunless tanners in between. I want to try to stop going but it's hard. I was reading the other day about the different kinds of skin cancers and how they develop. I never knew the skin cancer could get into your bones and then you're done for. It's beyond watching out for changes in the skin and it's really scary.

You absolutely HAVE to wear goggles-- the UV rays go through your eyelids, and I wouldn't try putting anything else on. If you're afraid of lines or "raccoon eyes," use Wink-Ease because they stick on and eliminate that look. Not wearing goggles will permanently damage your eyes and you WILL get cataracts and you CAN go blind. You HAVE to wear goggles or Wink-ease, it's absolutely crucial. A lot of guys go tanning and I was really surprised to see this when I started going. It's really not good for you, though. If you are that self conscious, go once a week and in between use Dove Energy Glow. If you have more money to spend and try, then go for higher end sunless tanners. But as soon as you can, stop going. You could get "addicted," and it would be hard to stop going so you really need to take that into consideration. Or you could also do what I do-- I have trouble getting sunless tanner to stay on parts of me so I have actually resorted to wearing sunscreen on my hips, thighs, chest and back because those areas tan extra easily. But my shoulders and lower legs and feet don't. You could try doing that method and wear sunless tanners in between if you can see which parts of you tan the easiest. It's really not good for you and it's hard to not go once you get into it.

I just posted but now I can post again... I feel like I'm abusing this by asking advice so soon but this is different too. I don't know what to do anymore. Any time one of my bratty siblings (both younger) yells, I get the blame for it. I had one of my siblings take a receipt to where they work to adjust something because I forgot my card. All I did was ask if I got it back in cash, or back on my card. They scream at me. "OBVIOUSLY IT'S CASH, WHY WOULD IT BE BACK ON YOUR CARD?!" Like... what? I shop a LOT, and I know that even with a debit card, a lot of places won't give you back cash! So she THREW my cash down the hallway at me (and this was NOT a difficult thing to ask for an adjustment, at all. And I have never needed one before) So then we start going back and forth like why are you throwing that, obviously places put it back, well you're not understanding how would they know your card number? (and places often just need the receipt to pull up the transaction and they have the card number even if only the last 4 print on a receipt.) Sounds completely utterly stupid. But then my entire family is in on this. Screaming at ME. Saying to me "SHE DOES SOMETHING FOR YOU AND YOU HAVE TO TREAT HER LIKE THIS?!" And I didn't do anything-- honestly, nothing. Nothing. They just heard what I said we bickered about and it was just in a loud yelling voice that's all. They get this because my siblings are just brats. And I'm 21 so why am I at home? Well I am in college and believe me, I've gone over my options! And they're going on and on about how my sister did this for me-- I don't get it. I don't get it. What did she do, what favor, how did she go out of her way? She went psycho on me and I didn't do anything-- she's just like that. Ever since she was little, she snaps and is a brat (18 years old now). I was so upset. My parents BOTH ganged up on me, yelling at me. I didn't do anything. I was so frustrated I had no voice, I couldn't yell any louder. I know I couldn't have possibly have physically hurt my dad but I just slapped at him because I was so frustrated they would not listen to me. M ydad pushed me so hard I went off the floor and my head almost hit a marble corner table that comes up in front of a mirror by a foot. My head would have cracked right open and I'm not exaggerating. I am so upset. This isn't like us. I don't know who I'm supposed to tell this to; this has never happened. Typing it up can't express how I'm feeling... or how critical this actually was. For real... my head was right at that sharp corner and my hip is hurting so bad from landing on it. I was so close to hitting it, I can't believe this night has happened out of nowhere. I don't think my dad understands and he won't listen. He's not violent and he's never hit me. My brother who is 13 was in his doorway in front of this and said "WHOA" and sounded so scared like he saw the whole thing and how far I flew and how close my head was. I'm so scared I never thought something could go that far, granted I shouldn't have slapped at my father. But I just slapped at him because nobody would listen to me and I'm so sick of being ganged up on because one of them has to whine and I am in the room. We're not this dysfunctional family and I'm not some tough girl either that can handle herself. I'm so upset... and they're so mad at me. This is what happened. If I want the right advice obviously I'm going to tell the truth.. and I didn't do anything. I just want someone to talk to I'm sorry I'm on here so much with one thing after the other. This sounds so stupid and I can only imagine what I sound like. But I am not some immature little girl. And I am so afraid of what just happened. Things with my parents and them screaming at me for every little thing have died down a lot and things have been better... and then this. I don't get it at all. I don't think I'm a 'victim,' but anyone I've ever known who was a 'victim' has stretched things and not understood things themselves. I just want to know who else has gone through this-- things getting crazy in a home that is not crazy... if that makes sense, I don't know. Martha

I did fail it; I just got my report card today. I will take it again but this is seriously happening at the worst time. I need the requirement and now I understand it more for next time at least. This creates such a huge mess of issues. I don't even know where to begin with the problems this causes, it's terrible. I will have to figure it out on campus with someone. I will probably get the instructor's contact info and ask where I went wrong so I know for next time... that will at least get me some answers and I can take it from there hopefully. What a waste. All those hours... and the whole semester that this class interfered with my productivity and learning in my other courses. A compete waste. It was a waste. It will help me for next time but that's all it will do. I failed and I wasted so much.

I failed a class... I'll be a senior in college in another month. I've never failed a class ever. I don't know by how far I failed. I don't know what grade I deserve because we only had 1 midterm, 1 final, and 1 paper. And the last two I don't know what I got on them but I didn't think I'd have failed them entirely... So do I call up my school and get my teacher's contact information and ask her about it? She said she'd e-mail people their grades and results if they wanted but I didn't think I'd have failed and just wanted to see what I got when I got my report card. I mean really, can anything be done? I don't personally know anyone that's failed but people who have told me have just let it go. Martha

It will probably be things like, how do you handle a customer who is not happy-- you do what you can for them and if there is a problem, you will let them know you will have your manager assist them, and that shows you know when to ask a manager for help. And other things like that, but they're probably really general... I'd think about how Starbucks is like when you're a customer and how you'd like to be treated and whatnot.

For one thing, it's good that you have good spending habits. And that's what you should look at this as-- good spending habits that NOT many people have. When getting things that you need, take into consideration how much time you're wasting trying to get the lowest price possible when you don't 'have' to. It's good to take some time out to look, but don't turn it into a second job and waste valuable time searching. Another thing too is how you said you wanted to go away but it would be too expensive-- but you have the money. I haven't spent $2,000 but I've spent over $1,000 on a vacation and it was one of the best times of my life. I would just be worried you'd miss out on things like that because you won't spend the money... not because you can't afford it. But that is completely 100% up to you and your decision. I don't think you should spend money like the average person with such good skills at holding back. It is really hard to do what you're doing. I don't feel good about telling you to spend money, but if you're coming here asking how to, we'll tell you how to. Surround yourself with the girlfriends of yours who go shopping a lot and things like that. Maybe take out a small amount from your paycheck at first and "allow" yourself to spend that money on whatever you'd like. Girly magazines too... just anything that involves materialism and having possessions.

hmmm, a portable LCD TV like the little DVD players? Unless he travels a -lot- and he's the passenger, then that would be good otherwise I'd think of something else he'd get more practical use out of. But the printer: does he need a printer? Does he already have one, did he mention he wanted a new one or does it seem like he needs a new one? It's probably where you got the idea, and that I think is a good one out of the two options. The lighter sounds sweet with the initials, but if you're able to get something else too, the printer sounds nice.

I wish I knew what to suggest you say... if I were in your situation, say whatever you feel is right. You know all the finer details as to what's going on. But at this point, it sounds like she's starting to not feel so sturdy with her emotions like she was.

What did you do that you're wanting her forgiveness? I don't think you mentioned why... I'm curious.