xmrth

No, we have sex each time we see eachother. I don't know what it was, we were not in a good swing of things and I think he eventually started coming over ready to be aggravated. I think something clicked for him when I talked to him about it, and I just kept everything lighthearted almost like helping him to put down his defenses so to speak. It's been smooth sailing these past 3 months though and I have actually mentioned it to him to. I think that has helped too because all the arguing and aggravation seems so silly now looking back on it.

IT'S BEEN 3 MONTHS AND WE HAVEN'T HAD A FIGHT SINCE!!! It's been amazing. I think the biggest thing is that I feel like he actually WANTS to be here with me. It doesn't feel like there's an absense of him wanting to or not wanting to, like he actually seems like he wants to come over, even when he's exhausted from work. I bet it's because he knows he's not coming here to get aggravated. I think what's awesome though is that he understands to pick his battles, and what is important and not important to get aggravated over. Because the problem was that anything was aggravating him! Like we had clashed a month ago-- some time ago, and I was like "you know what this is soo stupid, this isn't worth getting aggravated over" (I can't even remember what in the world it was but it wasn't important to fight about that's for sure) and it's like... we just laughed and enjoyed ourselves. If things are important to talk about then we would but it's been nice. We really have gotten into that swing and I'm very happy, I figured it was about time for an update on what happened after that. I am so surprised that we didn't have any fall backs, this literally has been going on smoothly since I last posted. I think by talking to him the way I did made him realize we were wasting our time fighting over -nothing- when we could have so much fun together and we have been!

Looks like I'll need a lot of gum then. That's seriously what I'm going to do haha.

I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant. And that is bull-- you can't get used to someone's bad breath. And I don't know where you live, but I don't stand near trash cans to get used to the smell? And yeah, college, 3 hour studio classes. It's so funny that this is like, being defended. People with nasty breath, I'm suddenly overreacting... Why even bother? Obviously it's something that really bothers me and is absolutely disgusting.

And again, today I'm sitting in class next to this girl with morning breath at like 12:30 in the afternoon! I never came accross this until the past few months! It's like all over the place! And it's not just bad breath in general... not to be gross, but you know how it's just distinct... icky. I feel bad but at the same time it's just so uncomfortable and even overwhelming. Over anything though it's so weird that now all of a sudden it's like everywhere I go, someone didn't brush their teeth yet and I have to hold my breath until I can get fresh air. Or bury my nose into my sleeve, like today.

Wow, well I've always since I was a kid brushed at night and then in the morning. As long as you're not bearing down too hard and are using a soft bristle toothbrush your gums are fine.

Even I am more than likely going to be buying a little travel toothbrush and toothpaste for the longer days! Seriously, especially at work when I'm helping a customer for even just a few minutes... I can only hold my breath for so long. And I feel bad for saying that, but... I don't know. My girlfriends though I am so surprised; I just noticed that this semester.

Personally, I brush my teeth in the morning right when I wake up, right after I eat breakfast, and then it depends if I'm home because if I'm leaving the house I will again, but if I'm out at school or work all day I chew Trident whitening sugarless gum, and then of course right before I go to bed. Well at my job, and even at school, even my GIRL friends, so many people don't brush their teeth! Especially in the morning! It is SO disgusting, it makes me gag, I swear it I have gagged. I don't know why all of a sudden I'm running into this all at once; it is not only personal hygiene but... yeah it's hygiene, you stink if you don't brush your teeth ESPECIALLY in the morning... The thought of not brushing your teeth is so foreign to me. There's a number of customers that come in to my job, and even students at my college that have, legitimately, old lady breath. It really is so foreign to me. People not showering every day, which I do shower EVERY day, now that is not so foreign. But the teeth brushing, particularly with the morning breath/old lady breath, no offense, is absolutely so foreign. I don't know who to tell this to, just kind of saying... I'm really surprised! Throughout the day I can understand, but morning breath... I can't understand that. Martha

I find that couples who are like that tend to do things together a LOT but with the friends. It's all personal preference-- I'm sure there's other people who don't mind it as much. And I know plenty of girls who are living with their boyfriends and say how happy they are when their boyfriends go out because then they have their own time. But to have all those things with his friends, it's just the type of person he is. It may not change. Or you may find a better way to work around it. If you haven't been dating very long, honestly, if I were you, I'd be done with it. It's a problem to you, and personally, I'd be upset because I don't like roadblocks-- the untouchable nights for certain things... not something I'm willing to deal with, but more spontaneous nights away are different. Maybe you feel that way too? But that's just my take if I were in that situation.

ugh, now my friend's parents have it. Do you think I could catch it from her? I have class with her for 3 hours and my seat is right next to hers... does this bug ever go away? I haven't heard of it being around since 4 years ago, though I bet it has been. It's just weird everyone's got it, like I can't escape it now or something!

Tonight I decided to try something else... and it did seem to work because he has just left and we had a really good night. If his work has a lot to do with it, today he actually got out early and was rested. So I don't know if that helped his mood or shows it is definitely the stress of his 6th work day of the week or not. I know it's absolutely him, it definitely is. So what I said to him when he got here after we settled down was that "tonight I want it to be a nice night and that I know when we go out, you're going to get aggravated over something I'm not even going to understand, and you're going to come back here with me after dinner and you'll curl up into a ball and die"-- not that he does that, he just lays down and wants to sleep or shut me out or we argue because I'm trying to talk to him about it, but I said things like that just to make light of it and get it entirely out in the open. We were able to joke about it, and he wasn't aggravated with me making it more of a joke with a serious side to it... and that I was genuinely upset that I knew it was going to happen as it happens every weekend. It's not over us going out, but it always tends to happen when we're out and driving or something like that. So that really did help, and I haven't tried doing that yet but have just said it sincerely or have said nothing on that particular night hoping it will just be okay. I decided to point it out when we got back to my house that we had a nice night... I wanted to just point it out and then get off that subject again. I don't know if what I said actually helped it or if he was just more rested from getting out of work so much earlier and being able to take a nap before coming over here. He told me that he really is burnt out and that it impacts our time together because he gets aggravated but it's hard to understand that because I am not like that when I am tired... but I also do not work the hours he works or do that work. I am wondering it maybe I should finally try doing this and pointing it out when he is here and doing that for a while trying to get us into a different routine or something... every other way it's been handled has just been digging us into a hole.

He's all of those things when I see him, and it is genuine that he is overworked and tired. What I don't get though is when we are having this wonderful perfect night, it can go sour over anything in the world. It can be over the most stupid thing and he will get aggravated at me for the REST of the night. Any stupid little thing and then there's a wave that changes everything and there really is no turning back. I have had him tell me that he doesn't know why I go out with him sometimes, but he doesn't say it to be "aww sweet," but just kind of says it seriously. He really felt bad about it a few weeks ago and told me exactly how he felt, that I annoy him so much sometimes but he doesn't know what it is, that he really loves me but I have to leave him alone. He said he just wants to spend the time with me and for me to stop bothering him... but I didn't really see that I was bothering him so much. I thought it was maybe because sometimes I'd get upset that he doesn't want to do things because he is tired as he works the days I see him (Fridays and Saturdays, but Sundays he doesn't work and I do see him that day too) So I started to leave him alone about that... but at the same time, it doesn't answer the part where he just gets so aggravated over stupid things. It's like walking on eggshells, and if I say something that aggravates him then there goes the WHOLE ENTIRE night... forever... gone, and no turning back. I'm not afraid of him or anything like that, I mean if he's going to get aggravated then whatever-- I'll do my part and I try my hardest to fix it, and I do care. But it sucks. It just sucks. Because I really feel like I am at fault and it is so annoying... it breaks my heart.

We only see eachother on the weekends, and last weekend I only saw him Friday night for 2 hours as he got a stomach bug and so it's been since then. It feels long and like it's enough after not seeing eachother but as we only see eachother on the weekends, it is so so hard to do unless there's nothing that can be done about it. I feel like if we weren't to see eachother for a long time, not breaking up but for whatever the reason, than that might help but I feel like it would go right back into it. I feel that way because we have such wonderful nights that can go sour so easily and I can't figure it out. And that it may eventually go back like that. We've been together 7 years... I can't remember so far back but I know we've always had times we clash, but average times and not at all like this. But then for the past several years it didn't happen at all in this way until recently, maybe the past year to two years. It started back up over stupid things and all the time. But now that it's over nothing that deserves so much aggravation, I wonder if he only sees it in black and white... and allows everything to ruin our time together.

aw I'm so sorry you got it, I never ended up getting it but I'm still so paranoid I could get it at any time. Anyone who I mentioned it to has gotten it, and I get so paranoid other people are going to give it to me. I'd so much rather have a cold or something like it, and not be puking uncontrollably! Now some flu thing is going around. I see people day in and day out licking their fingers when they count their money at the bank, and never washing their hands before eating something... ugghhh... I hate this whole season, haha.

I don't know why this is, or what I can even do. There is no way to predict whether or not my boyfriend will get aggravated at something. Okay, I can tell for a lot of things, obviously. But there are so many things that leave me scratching my head. Tonight for example, a great night, always starts out great... then something happens, he gets aggravated and shuts out, and I'm the bad guy-- it is always ME who has done something. Every weekend, not -always- Friday, but -always- Saturday this happens. I don't know what that thing is, though. He just gets aggravated and sometimes I fuel the fire but like I said, there's times where I am just clueless. Over the course of 20 minutes we were playing around and joking around and deciding where we should go out for dinner. He really wanted to go to this place I hate and refuse to go back to. And eventually I said okay, fine let's go. I figured why not, I know it's not going to kill me and I just really didn't prefer it but he always likes to go where I like to go and I guess he really likes it there. So we go and he's aggravated at me for some reason. The ride there we are joking around, laughing, having such a great time! Then we sit down, he comments on what I'm eating? I got pasta because I hate meat, not that I'm a vegetarian, but the place was more for meat people I suppose. And let me clarify, he absolutely 100% is not controlling or jealous type (while on that subject) or any of that. I don't know why that would aggravate him, and I asked him and he just got aggravated. It's so hard to describe him like that. Why would that aggravate him? And like I said, this is just an example. When he came in to my house after we got back, he said I fought with him the whole time before about going and aggravated him the whole time there. I really didn't-- things were perfectly fine both ways. I am so confused and putting this down makes no sense, but it's far from the first time this has happened. I just want to know what his problem is. He's like a ticking time bomb-- not that he blows up, but at any time he can be aggravated at something. And when I say that... no, he's not a mean person. I aggravate him, he has told me he doesn't know what it is but I aggravate him. He doesn't like to talk about it and I get no answers. I wanted to know if anyone understands this... I really don't. It's the same thing every weekend it seems. Or even something understandable aggravates him, like I said something I know I shouldn't have said, like a smart comment-- the biggest problem, and for the REST of the night, it is a problem and he's aggravated. Like he can't put anything behind him and if something goes sour we can't go past it-- it consumes the rest of the night. I am worn out from it, I really am. If we ever have a terrible fight, the next day he's over it, he's fine, and we start fresh. Does it really need to take until the next day? Martha

I used to mind, and then I didn't mind when he actually went to one. But yeah, they aren't like on TV where they are ugly-- I don't think I've ever seen strippers portrayed as good looking anywhere, like TV or in I don't even know what. A lot are young and pretty. My friend's boyfriend when they had broken up, her boyfriend seriously thought this stripper he saw frequently actually liked him. They had a website and she showed it to me, and since I've never been to one, it was like a window into what these girls are like and how they look, and they really weren't all that bad looking. They were younger than me, my age, they weren't perfect, but they weren't ugly, and that's what I don't like. They can be gross and no I won't care, but to be so close to home and be my age, and actually look decent, that's threatening. Not that my boyfriend would do anything or want to, but no I don't think I like it. But to be honest, as long as I don't know and as long as he remains trustworthy which I don't see why he wouldn't, then it won't kill me to not know. Its really that kind of thing.

A house is what I had wanted, and I had always thought I would be able to live at home and save up over a couple of years after college. I would get an apartment, but without roommates. A few months ago I picked up one of those free guides for apartments in my area, and they were all over $1,000 a month... and I feel like that would be such a waste because a mortgage payment is under $2,000 a month for the average house from what I understand. Sometimes it's not terrible, but 9 out of 10 times/days/whatever it is, and I am just so tired of living in this house and am ready to be on my own. I still feel like it would be a mistake but I can't do anything about it until a year or more from now anyway and I hate feeling like there's no end in sight...

Yeah but so what, it has nothing to do with me needing to clean when I get home. The point is you say anything to her and she tells you to clean something. I could understand if the house was a mess but it's clean. I don't understand the need to get hung up on that because it's the least annoying thing going on here anyways. I'll figure it out somehow and get out of here as soon as I can. It would be nice to come home and not be annoyed. I just really am ready to move out and deal with myself and not everyone else I guess but it's going to be a while and I'm already losing my mind. I'll figure it out hopefully. I wanted to move out because I was engaged or something like it, not because my family drives me crazy. That's how I always wanted it. I wanted that to be the reason. I wanted everything next to happen in a positive way.

wow YOU got it!?? You just got it?? wow out of any of us you'd think I would have gotten it!! I'm sorry you got it, do you know who you might have caught it from? I hope you get well soon!

I refuse to have roommates, like I said, it would be the same thing. I already have talked to the counselor on campus and she just said buy more of my own things if the dirtyness bothers me, which I did. It started bothering me in recent years but it's not a "problem." I started putting things away myself but don't always do it in time. And for doing my part around the house, I do, but my mother hasn't been on me to do it every single day. I am in art college so I don't get to just read or take notes (which I know can still be hard because I still have academic courses) but where all 6 of my classes are 3 hours long and I commute to college and am getting home so late, this semester I really only have time for homework. I'm a senior now and have always always helped out. My sister and I switch off weeks. As of right now I help out mostly on the weekends, but during the week I'm sorry I just can't do it. I'm getting home after 8pm and then after 6 around 7pm after being there all day long, and I've got projects to do. Like I said, all my years all throughout high school until my senior year of college right now I have done my part but this semester is different. I'm ready to have my own things and be responsible for my own things. And the music, the music is the biggest problem and I'm the only one who can hear it because it's right accross from my bedroom. 45 minutes blasting every single solitary night. Earplugs. The yelling, the screaming at me over everything. They even tell me to move out, but its been a while since they have ganged up on me mostly because I'm always at school or work. What kills me is I can't even do anything about it until over a year from now. College tuition has to be paid off and I need money saved. So until then it's like I have to figure out how to survive.

Call the first one, definitely. I had a lot of contact with different people at my current job because I really wanted it and there were waiting periods. It won't bother them, and if it does, it's not going to affect you getting the position... it's not like you've been calling them every day. Just call the first guy and let him know the situation, that you didn't get in touch but left a message and just wanted to be sure since SHE told YOU to call her today, and now she isn't available.

You should just take 2 Ibuprofen on the day that you know or think you're getting it, and continue to take 2 every 6 hours. The key is to keep the pain down as soon as you possibly can, and not to wait until you feel pain at all. And get a heating pad to put on your stomach. There's also the portable heating things you can stick to the inside of your underwear for when you're out and about. Those were my tricks. Also, birth control pills absolutely work wonders. Years of suffering came to a halt as soon as I started taking them! The mood though, I think that is hard to control... although there are oils that work and aroma therapy kind of things. Having no cramps does wonders though.

I don't think I've gotten it from him since tonight will be 72 hours later, but now what you've said is making me wonder about next weekend. Too much information but maybe my boyfriend should wear a condom if he could still have the virus in him! This is like the plague to me, I don't want it! haha

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I just think it's so so unfair that I have to think about moving out because of how my family is. It is SO unfair. I should be able to move out when I feel I'm ready and when I can afford it-- afford a HOUSE not an apartment. And not because they are so unbearably aggravating and ruin my life. They aren't making me, but they are absolutely making me WANT to, and NEED to. It is so unfair. And I can't even move out for so long-- I can't take it anymore. I refuse to live on campus, because for one thing it is so much more expensive than having an apartment to yourself and you have to share it. No way am I sharing an apartment with anyone else-- it will be like this, I know it for a fact. I don't want to have to think about these things. I wanted to be able to live at home, get engaged or plan to move out WITH my boyfriend... not move out by myself and waste money on an apartment. He is so happy with living at home and I am so miserable. I call him so many times a month crying "GET ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE." I hate it. I know people are way worse which makes me wonder if I'm overreacting. I HATE LIVING HERE. It makes my life miserable. I actually have to wear earplugs to block out the music my sister blasts in the shower for 45 minutes. No joke. There's no place to go. My mother is out of her mind with things needing to be cleaned. You say something to her unrelated to cleaning, and she says "uuuuhh, clean this, clean that, this needs to be vacuumed, this that..." and I am fulltime student, 18 credits, I get home at 6-8pm after being there at 8:30am, and I have a job on the weekends. When I get home I HAVE to do homework, not clean up after everyone else's mess. They refuse to rinse off their own dishes and put them in the sink or dishwasher and instead leave them where they ate or pile them in. My mother only within the past 2 weeks stopped going crazy on me to clean up because I had a breakdown with how much homework I have and how I don't even have time to do THAT, let alone clean up after everyone else when I clean up after myself. I've thought about "payment to live here," but guess what, I can't be cleaning up after everyone. Then my dad smokes in the garage in which my room is right above it. Every single solitary night, and I breathe it in-- I am afraid I'll get lung cancer, he just says "OKAY I'LL MOVE OUT," or "MOVE OUT," and he won't stop. Nobody washes their hands when they touch silverware or dishes to put them away so I have to like, wash everything before I use it. And food, like bread and things like that. No way. I can't afford to buy all my own food but I do anyway and get little things that nobody can get their gross hands on. And any time my immature nutjob of a sister screams, I get yelled at. They don't even know or care what it's about, they just yell at me and tell me to mind my own business. I ask her, oh what's that? "NOTHING!!!!" "LEAVE HER ALONE! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" It's out of control. Get me out of here. I read this over and they sound like such little things, but believe me, they are not the only things going on in this house, and it's been going on for a looong time. I love how I'm wearing earplugs right now. I wear them to bed, too. I have little privacy, I just want everyone to leave me alone. Leave me alone. I'm going crazy. Do I really have to move out? I know I want to but I didn't want to like this. It is so unfair. Am I really someone who has to move out because of home life being crazy? I never would have imagined that would be me. I wanted to do this with my boyfriend. I wanted it to just "happen," not have to ask him to live with me or make him feel like he should. I feel like this will change so many things. And on top of that I don't know what to do to not continue to lose my mind. Martha