xmrth

It has been just about 48 hours in another hour or two since I last kissed him/saw him. Do you think I'm in the clear? I still feel off but I could be nervous-- it is just so unpleasant and I genuinely do not want it at all. No way. Knowing the incubation definitely calmed my nerves especially now. I almost made myself sick earlier being so nervous that I just had to post and ask. Sooo unpleasant... I think it's worse to feel sick and not know if you'll puke or not. After that you at least know! haha

I don't know if it's me being nervous or what, but I feel off. It might be nerves... for now, because it's not been 48 hours yet until tonight =\ It was the whole shebang Friday night when I saw him. I was a little in his face during the rest of the time, too. He said he's all better today but is tired. I can't tell my nerves apart from how I'm really feeling. If I get it, once it happens I'll be fine, but wondering and knowing how a stomach bug feels is like torture!

Honestly, you should have just asked her out and then told her that. Unless she is taken already, or there was some reason why you found her the ideal girl as a girlfriend but didn't actually ask her out. You could even tell her just like that-- tell her it's something you or anyone would say when you're exclusive with a girl, and that will make it not seem creepy or too strong.... or do you think maybe she wasn't feeling any of those things in return? If it really made you feel better to get it off your chest though, at least now it is and she knows and whatever will come of it is on it's way, whether it's to remain friends or an exclusive relationship.

I am getting so nervous because I saw my boyfriend Friday night until 10, and then he left and was to have work in the morning, but at 2am he woke up with this terrible stomach bug that is going around. So he started throwing up at 2am Saturday, and I last saw him 10pm Friday and was completely involved with him at.... hmm, 7:30 or 8pm, haha. Do you think I'd have it by now if I was going to get it from him? I do noooot want this thing; just figured I'd ask if anyone knew how long the incubation is for a nasty stomach virus. Supposedly it's a 24 hour bug, but last night he sounded miserable still. Martha

Customers at my place of work CONSTANTLY talk about the weather. Almost every person. It's just something to talk about. You can easily start talking about it at any time, and to be honest, most times it does branch off into other things... like the snow, for example. People talk about skiing. Then they talk about this time they were skiing and some aspect of it. Then that leads into some other conversation. You can do that with other topics, but the weather is so easy. I never ever bring up the weather though, because of this! Because I am so sick of talking about it after so many customers all day long especially! But don't worry about it... don't be insulted by it... be happy to know he does want to continue to talk to you. He could absolutely say, "hey got to go," and blame the fact there's nothing to talk about on you. He is trying... definitely worth something there. When I didn't know what else to say to my boyfriend when we first started dating, I chose way more boring topics... ugh.

I think she's still not over you, too. Nobody else would care, male or female. Or at least they would NOT react like that if they didn't still have feelings for you. It's really obvious. And she even had to ask if it was okay to talk and you said yeah your girlfriend is okay with it..

Oh, who cares. We can't get together so why miss out entirely? To me, that doesn't make any sense. Why can't we or any other couple celebrate it on another day if we can't on the designated day? Having it be during the week and it not being a good time is a perfect reason to not get upset over having to wait. Positive out of a negative, hello!

I'm not, AND I have a snow day from school, so today is a whole lot of relaxing and getting things done! I'm seeing my boyfriend on the weekend. I plan to take advantage of all the clearanced silly little Valentine's Day plushies and junk to give to him all in one big bag, just to be cute, and then we're going to go out in particular for V-Day over the weekend. I like Valentine's Day, but I'm realizing how easy it is to just pick your own day to celebrate it. During the week is tough, there's too much to get done with work and college. Although I have a snow day while he's got work so I have more time than him ; ) Soooo, anyone else just waiting for the weekend instead to actually celebrate it and go out? Martha

Oh, no way. She probably knows if she said anything to him about it that he'd get upset or leave her or something. That's ridiculous-- I'm sure she'd survive without flowers from a TAKEN man. The whole thing is crazy. It's not like she's some little old lady... she's apparently a very sexy young woman, and she already thinks her boyfriend is a player. This is what they do. She just knows about it and has been taught or has learned to put up with it, it's terrible. You could try talking to her about it but I would imagine it's something she realizes... unfortunately he'd probably do something eventually that would lead them to break up anyways. I mean it's just bound to happen given what she already suspects without this. There's definitely ways for this to be okay, you could think of so many other reasons, but given the type of person and just the whole situation, this is not okay, I don't think so.

I can tell you from my perspective, I haven't had my hand be kissed, but my boyfriend's friends have blatantly flirted with me, told me I'm beautiful and all those things right in front of my boyfriend and a small group of people, and the way my boyfriend reacted was ideal. He just smiled, laughed, joked... and then went on-- the night went on, whatever, their friends did whatever they were doing and weren't overstepping boundaries. However, it didn't bother him, but if it DID bother him and if he reacted in a negative way, I would feel so threatened and embarrassed. It would hurt more than just you-- those little stupid things like some drunk guy pecking a kiss on your girlfriend's hand are not worth getting upset over. I don't think it's terribly wrong that you did, but that sort of thing is something you just leave alone... You so did the right thing. If he was like putting his arms around her or kissing her cheek, or just taking it further like that, then that's different.

That makes no sense, though. You're not boyfriend and girlfriend, but everything else is the same. It's so confusing, because other than that it sounded like she really wanted you to, but it's weird that she sounds like she thinks you're -supposed to-. Like you going away to school means you're supposed to propose... and now she's all confused and needs to find herself or whatever that nonsense is about, but now she can be single but have you just the way she's always had you. I mean think about that; you're boyfriend and girlfriend without the title of that, which means you're both single, but still have eachother. So then what's with her wanting marriage if it's so easy to be something without the title of boyfriend and girlfriend? I mean really, if you're not boyfriend and girlfriend then you should tell her you're not going to do boyfriend and girlfriend things. It sounds like games to me... I think she did want you to, but now she's just playing games.

I don't think you're overreacting at all, I mean, what the hell, she's telling some other guy he's attractive on his MySpace for all of the world to see. It's making you look like an idiot, like hey what's his girlfriend doing saying this to this other guy? Get on that, tell her 'hey what's the deal, do you know what that looks like?' And it's beyond just that...

He's done bad things when he was like 14, and got into fights years ago that technically I don't know about, and stupid things like that. Stuff even I know is over with and has been over with since high school has been over with. He was drunk, he was talking about everything under the sun which confused the whole situation. It's easy to go past it because he was venting to me. He feels bad about things, feels bad people he knows die, someone he saw reminded him of some friend he knew that died and he didn't go to the funeral, and then he talked about that, and then it was about that night, and he basically made no sense. I don't even care enough to defend the situation anymore because I'm not worried, and I get worried about things easily. I am not worried about him or us in the least over this, and before I was confused because that call was all I had to go on until this afternoon. Other than that, he and I will obviously talk about it because it bothered him enough to be upset, but I'm not updating, or wait, "making excuses." It would be good to delete this thread because I don't want to answer to it anymore and it turned into an annoyance real quick, but most was helpful and I appreciate that. But there's too much to say and it's not something to keep going on here about, I need to go to him about it. Before I needed to know, but now I've talked to him and have seen him and now it's on us if there's anything.

No. Not at all. I would never want a boyfriend like theirs, ever. They are total wimps, especially that they can never go anywhere without my friends. Their boyfriends are geeks and don't have any friends. Digging that up has nothing to do with this at all. I mean with everything that I said, it's pretty clear that I would never want that. I like being 'allowed' to do things.

I really don't even know anymore. I'm so over this, to be honest. It was so stupid to begin with. He was drunk and was venting about everything under the sun because things were bothering him. Simple as that. I don't know about his friends, they probably aren't immature, just the ones in question do stupid things like start with people. I really don't know and I really don't care because he's got it together; he knows what he's doing. I feel confident in letting him figure it out and if that's hard to believe, it's because you don't know the situation, so yes, it is simple. Simple as that.

He's the most mature guy his age that I know, and he's stuck because he wants to still have his childhood friends... but instead of letting them go completely, he's just not hanging out with them in situations that will turn out bad. It's not that they act like kids, but they think they can beat people up and nobody will mess with them. Still immaturity, but it's not like the typical immaturity with puny guys or anything... I mean, they're tough guys, but they sound stupid as hell. He lied to me by telling me he was leaving to go to sleep, but feels bad because he went out without me and got really drunk and felt guilty that he lied to me and drove home, and a whole bunch of other things. He basically was venting to me on top of it about what's on his mind. He felt bad he called me at 3, he's like "I know you have work, I'm sorry, I just have to get it off my chest, I feel bad that I told you I was going home, I was aggravated at you" and things like that. Basically he realized he shouldn't get aggravated over stupid things-- stupid things, like I can't even describe them. This really is a huge complicated thing. Like he vented about everything that has been bothering him. It answers so many questions. I'm upset, but I feel okay. I've been fine today, but confused. He told me everything was fine so it was easy to relax... he's on his way over now and I talked to him earlier. I will talk to him about the particular friends of his who are trouble. It is hard because those guys are friends with the NORMAL friends of his... an everyone-knows-everyone kind of deal. But I'm going to stress it to him again. He knows on his own... and apparently has gotten grief from staying out of things they get into.

I just talked to him on the phone, and asked him about all that I typed up. He said he called me at 3 because he felt bad that he went out, not that he's been doing it extensively, but that it was the first time he ever lied to me about going home. But I remember him saying something about going out last weekend, specifically. And how he went on to say he felt bad about lying which made me feel like it's been going on for a while. But I could have sworn he told me he went out with one of his friends last weekend. He left my house after 11pm though, and his town is 25 minutes away... and said destination was even further, so maybe he really didn't? Because he was fine the Sunday, the next day, which I saw him. He was up and about early and everything. I asked him about his friends, and asked straight out if it was that his friends want to be 16 forever, and he said "pretty much." 16, as in getting into fights and not working. And I just told him, you're beyond them. I don't think he's done this extensively, and maybe last night was the only time because he felt bad about it, but I don't know. A lot of times he spends the night, basically. Is over my house until 2-3am, and then wakes up and goes home because HE can sleep, but I can't when he's here because I have a one person bed and I wake him up when I'm ready to go to sleep while I get homework done or something. He says he doesn't remember telling me that his friends have said things to him about dating one girl for a while-- which I think someone probably has, and he's just telling me they didn't now because he doesn't want me to know. I don't think that's a huge problem because a lot of his friends are obsessed with their girlfriends and seem so happy for us. He says nobody says that, and it's so confusing. Because he was drunk and not making sense and talking about something recent with something old, in which the incidents were from years back that he feels bad about. Something happened last night but he just blew up with all these things that have been bothering him making it seem like this was all recent (to me). Like seeing someone that reminded him of a close friend that passed away... and then going into detail about how bad he feels about missing people's funerals or not going and how it tears him apart. Everything blew up. I still think he went out last weekend, because he said he did. He didn't sound like he was lying but just the fact that he said he did I'm going to remember it like that. The time doesn't make sense and the fact that he was up early and fine the next morning... maybe he really wasn't, but I don't know.

I don't think you understand this situation... You think he's a drunk, you think he's got bad values... you don't understand. You have your biased opinion already and you're sticking to it. I'm not an idiot and for you to be talking to me like you know my boyfriend in response to everything is definitely a way of calling me an idiot. Because I'm the one who has been dating him for 7 years, I'm not an idiot, and I'm telling you, you've got the wrong idea. Thank you for your help and everything, but you have the wrong idea.

But that is what he told me, that is what's bothering him is he stuck up for someone and it caused a big problem. I can't describe him any better but that's the wrong idea of him... he's not troubled. I don't talk to people who are troubled. He has grown out of his friends. I still have to talk to him.

It's more that he does know what he wants, but his friends are stuck in this world where work doesn't matter and nothing matters and give him so much grief for having a job and being busy with work, when they work like part time. And dating me for so long he said he has to listen to it a lot... and how it doesn't change how he feels, and that he simply wants people to stop bothering him about it-- I never knew anyone bothered him about it, as if they know me? I don't know the full story with him... but he said he goes out after because of me; we've been butting heads every other weekend for the past two months. I don't even know why. He gets tired from work and then I get upset.. and then he goes out to forget about it and get over it. He was like, I'd never do you wrong, but you aggravate the hell out of me and last night I just had to go out and it was a mistake. I don't understand what happened but I guess he stands up for people but it backfires... it was like he was talking to me as if I knew the full story but he doesn't tell me these things and said he's kept it in for so long, just things that bother him like that. And he's devastated because he sees people that remind him of things like not going to people's funerals and things like that, and friends being in iraq but get mad when he has to work and can't go out partying on a TUESDAY night and things like that. I still have to talk to him. I don't know if he went to work or if he stayed home since he isn't required to go today. But I see him Saturday nights... I will be talking to him about it tonight.

The thing is he doesn't drink, he's not an alcoholic. He drinks when he goes out. Everyone I know drinks when they go out. Even I drink every time I go out. People get drunk every weekend. He's not a wild guy, It's hard to describe him without knowing him because all I have is this to really say. And no he hasn't been with anyone else but me. It's just things with his buddies, and has been telling me he's gone to sleep but has gone out. he did last night and he told me he did last weekend, but I don't know exactly when else. But he said he's been doing it.

It's weird because we've been together for 7 years... and it's such a long time for him to finally open up to me like that. Like it's not him using being drunk as a means to communicate... because he was saying things like he's realized it. I'm sure it influenced him a lot to call me, I know he wasn't completely in this straight state of mind or anything. I don't know what to say to him about any of it. His friends, the driving... any of it. I like his friends, and there's some I don't know particularly because they're in Iraq, but from what he told me, it's like they think he's stupid for working in a career, making good money, and having a long term girlfriend. Like he's stupid for not calling out of work every week or something. And it goes back to me and how I don't even know about this.

I don't even know where to begin; this has never happened before. I don't know if it was because I was half asleep that it still feels like it didn't happen or what, but my boyfriend just completely broke down. He left my house last night at 10:00 and everything was the usual-- same as any Friday night. We both have work Saturday mornings, but he doesn't -have- to go, he just chooses to go because obviously it's money and all of that. Well anyway, he calls me up at 3am drunk and crying his eyes out to me, which he has never ever done... and I was half asleep, completely confused. He's saying "don't worry, everything is okay, I'm just sick of everything." And saying how he's drunk, he's an idiot and drove home? What? I thought he was sleeping because he has work, and he's calling me at 3am drunk. It was a 45 minute one-way conversation with him venting to me about all kinds of things, which he has never done before. I guess things with his longterm friends are weird-- I still don't know the full story because it was like he didn't want to get into it, but he did. And he's like I love you to death, I love you to death, a million times and that he's sorry but he's been lying to me and going to all these places with his friends after he sees me, and that he's not this nice person, and that there's so much I don't even know about him. He never says these things, and I know he was drunk but I am confused. I mean, he's leaving my house at like 11:00 pm Saturday nights in particular, and I had no idea he was going out places and things like that. He always told me he had to go home because he was tired. But that's not all. And he's like, it took this (no idea what he's talking about, just that everything exploded that's on his mind) to realize how much you mean to me and that you're the only one who has always been there for me even though I'm not always nice. He's drunk, he's rambling, and these are things he never says to me. He's not this type of a person... He doesn't break down, he doesn't say these things. And we've been together for a long time, not just a few years or anything. I'm not worried about it, I just don't see why he had to keep it all to himself as if I can read his mind? With his friends, he told me they say, hey you're only going to stay with one girl? And things like that because we've been together for so long and he's saying how he can't stand that his friends say that, and he defends us telling them to shut up, expletives, and that "I love the girl, I don't give a" whatever, and he's like "I love you to death and yeah I'll probably marry you." I don't know the full story on that. Is that a huge thing that goes on? I don't know yet. But his friends seemed to be pretty happy for us any time it's been mentioned, and it could absolutely be people I don't know. And he told me his friends get mad that he's with me because they are stupid and get into fights and get hurt badly and are mad because my boyfriend isn't there to be retarded, too? And my boyfriend was like "They do things like fight with random people, which was fine when we were 15 but I'm 22 now" And it's like with his friends and their jobs; they apparently have jobs a 16 year old would have and are always around and give him a hard time. He sounded so upset and angry because he works so hard and makes good money, but he works so hard and it seems to him like everyone just sits around and does nothing. And he basically runs himself into the ground. It's so hard to sum up 45 minutes of just him talking. But it seems like things are kind of intertwined: work, friends, and me. And then he's going on and on about how he's so sorry and he's so terrible to me because he's been lying about going out without me and leaving my house saying he's going to bed but then going out, drinking so much which I don't care except he told me he drives some of the time, and that he gets himself into things. I don't think he does as much as he is thinking he does. Because he is not some immature loser. So I am really confused. I feel like I should be mad and put him in his place, but should I just be honest? Because I thought it was weird he was seeing me all weekend long for so many months... but he has lied. And I don't know how often he has lied. And I don't know what to do about it. I haven't really let it set in and it just feels like it didn't happen, but it did =\ He never ever says these things, like telling me he loves me to death and that he's sorry and that I'm so good to him and he just treats me the opposite... ever. He doesn't apologize and give me the "whole sad story." I do believe he's sincere but I am really confused as to what to do or say or what. Because he's not this terrible person to me but he's making it out to be like he is, as if he's been a menace to me. Martha

To be honest, what you have described happens in basically every other place. Favoritism is like a universal thing, whether in the work place or outside of it. And managers telling you one thing and then something different the next is just how it goes. It's aggravating depending on what it's about but that happens in so many places. If you can't afford to not have a job, which not many people can over the age of 17, then you do need it... you've got to do what you've got to do. If you can afford to get another job and are able to switch some things around for it like the schedule and maybe even the pay, then maybe you could start looking for another job... but you could absolutely run into the same problems. Those things are frustrating but it's just how it is. Some people get lucky, though. You have to weigh the circumstances... the pay, the convenience, this that... You can look for a job while having a job any way you want. You shouldn't bring the help wanted ads to work or talk about it at work of course. But it's pretty basic; post your resume online, or search want ads, or ask around outside of work to see what is available and then apply... things like that.

And Skippy, you do know that their relationships are far from unique, right? How many couples do you know? Are you at all aware that this is basically the situation everyone is in with their friends and them bringing their boyfriends everywhere they go? Because if you don't get what everyone is saying here then that's fine for you, but this isn't something you can just say oh, then don't be friends with them, because I would feel safe to say that 3 out of 5 couples are like they are, and that is a lot. And if you were keeping up with the thread you'd know I'm done with one of them because it goes beyond her boyfriend always being there, et cetera.