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JohnnyTable

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Everything posted by JohnnyTable

  1. JohnnyTable
    In my experience, most women shave or do something down there... so her excuse is bunk!
  2. JohnnyTable
    Two words came to mind when reading this... "dump him" hehe sorry. Sex will become boring if you have too much? Based on this logic you must be having some amazing sex since it is not boring. Is it amazing?
  3. JohnnyTable
    I would not take that as a compliment because everybody knows that there aren't any good girls in Boston. j/k of course, I'm sure there are a couple.
  4. JohnnyTable
    What is it that you want exactly? Do you want to be friends? Do you want to move on? Do you want her back?
  5. JohnnyTable
    Who cares if she feels like you abandoned her? She left you remember? The bottom line it doesn't matter what she thinks. It matters what YOU think. If you truly want to be in NC, which you probably should, then you need to make sure that she cannot contact you. How is she contacting you?
  6. JohnnyTable
    I would not go. I think that you are being used. Notice why she called you? You said it yourself, she lost her job. I fell into the same trap myself. My ex's Dad got really sick a few weeks after we broke up. She would call me and use the excuse that she knew that I would be concerned. Anyway I was there offering support for her. In the end I was being used. At the time she had nobody else to turn to. Now she does and she is gone (for good reason, she is an EX). I think it is rude for her to invite you as well. For one you still have feelings for her otherwise you would not be posting this. Spending time with her will definitely delay your healing. I'm not sure how you can feel otherwise to be honest. How could seeing her possibly help your mental health? My advice is to spend time with somebody other than an EX girlfriend over the holidays... especially during the holidays. Then next year will roll around. You will think of last year (this year) and memories will not be of you WITH YOUR EX but rather somebody else. This is valuable IMHO.
  7. JohnnyTable
    Oh, sorry about that. In your situation, meeting her in person accross the street to return stuff of hers, it was fine to give her the sweatshirt IMHO. This does not look like manipulation and more like, "you can have it if you want it, I don't wear it." Nice job. My point before was about making a specific effort to give her the shirt. I don't think that I would call her for awhile, not even at x-mas to be honest. Things take a LONG LONG time to process in my opinion and a few days or weeks is literally nothing. Her response sounded normal and thereforeee I would not read anything into it. You guys were close, of course she does not want that to go away completely and she still likes getting a hug from you. The good news is that you are moving on by getting rid of her stuff. I think that people undervalue how important this is. I am hardcore about it-delete all e-mails, voice mails, phone numbers, anything with her name, etc. You don't have to be doing it out of hate, just out of common sense desire to get your sanity back.
  8. JohnnyTable
    At the risk of sounding negative- Throw the sweatshirt away. You guys broke up and you don't need it anymore. Either: a) send nothing b) send a card. no flowers Look at it from her point of view. Anything you do could appear as confusing or manipulation. It is unlikely that she will just "think" that you don't care anymore. It is more likely that she will "wonder" if you care anymore. If you send her stuff, she does not have to wonder because she will know that you care.
  9. JohnnyTable
    Do not send this letter. The others have given very good reasons. For one there is little to nothing you can do to get your ex back especially when they are with somebody else. You will realize this once you are with somebody else and notice that going back to your ex would be crazy. But bottom line is, do not send that letter!
  10. JohnnyTable
    Ya its better when they leave you for somebody else because then you can hate their guts for awhile and get over them much quicker (plus no hopes of them coming back). Your desire for them fades more rapidly that way I think too. If they leave you in a good way without treating you like garbage, then I can see that as a more difficult situation. Funny how that works.
  11. JohnnyTable
    I did not move on myself until I found out that my ex was seeing somebody new, so I think it helps in that regard.
  12. JohnnyTable
    Write a list of people in your life that you would like to contact on Christmas or any other holiday. This includes family members that you have not seen in a long time, friends, teachers that touched your life, neighbors, old people that you worked with, anybody significant in your life that you would want to share your holiday with. Make sure to include people that make you laugh and people that understand you. Put your ex at the bottom of this list. On the holiday, start at the top of the list and work your way down. I have a feeling that you won't reach the bottom... I guess it makes the saying, "My ex is the last person that I would call" and puts it into reality.
  13. JohnnyTable
    I find that it is best to show him that it is really over rather than to tell him that it is really over. People do not listen to words too often (for example, my friend keeps telling her ex that she does not love him anymore yet keeps sleeping with him. He sees the action, not the words). My advice would be to not see him when he comes out. You don't need to give a reason or excuse. However since you already agree to meet up with him... not sure how to handle that.
  14. JohnnyTable
    Cell phones are bad too. My ex used to argue with me over her phone, but half of the time I couldn't even hear what she was saying which just pissed me off and made things worse.
  15. JohnnyTable
    Recently and in the past, I have had to deal with relationship type issues through e-mail. I guess the other person just felt comfortable doing it this way instead of talking in person. The problems that I have are: -E-mails can be misunderstood unless they are written with careful precision. Even then you can read into words. You are not able to say "what do you mean" WHILE the person is saying something to you. You are not able to read their body language. When they receive your e-mail, you have no idea what state of mind they are in, if their friends are there, etc. It just feels hollow sometimes. -E-mails of the required precision take forever to write properly. Am I the only one who feels this way? Of course, they do have their place. Like if two people are so mad at each other that they cannot talk to each other. Or if they really need to put something into writting, or take time with their response. (I'm not talking about normal correspondence through e-mail which is fine. I'm only talking about dealing with relationship issues).
  16. JohnnyTable
    My advice is to write the letter but DO NOT SEND IT. I don't see how it could do anything positive. Look at it from her point of view. If she is with another guy, she doesn't want to hear about your love for her.
  17. JohnnyTable
    ...or with people who are wishy washy. ========== a) I had a few really good dates with a girl. We planned lunch for last weekend but she had to cancel because she was sick. So then on Monday we planned on having dinner the Friday of the same week. She said that she would call if she ended up having to work. On Wednesday I sent her a friendly e-mail (not about the date, just other stuff). She did not respond. On Friday I called her before noon to setup the time/place for us to meet for dinner. She did not return my call and I have not heard from her. b) I started talking to a girl recently but we have not yet met. We setup plans to have breakfast on Saturday. She did not arrive and did not call. ========== As far as b goes, there isn't a whole lot I see to do since we haven't even met before. I'll just see if she calls. But what about A? This one is frustrating because I don't like being treated that way. Should I just see if she calls? Part of me wants to find out what is going on, but I don't know how to do that. Maybe sending a simple text message?
  18. JohnnyTable
    Yes, I am the one with the cable box story. Good memory!!! I am actually doing very well. In fact I had pursued a girl for a few weeks. We had several great dates but then she got skittish and I haven't seen her since (she was out of a relationship too). But during that time, I never thought about my ex. She just didn't come into my mind. It made me realize how an ex feels when they go to somebody else. ...it also made me realize how they might feel if things fail with that person and they hadn't dealt with the breakup on their own. Being with somebody else is a distraction but not necessarily a cure!
  19. JohnnyTable
    It's been almost 3 months of NC. Besides an e-mail from her asking for something back, and me responding that I didn't have it anymore, there hasn't been any contact. It seems like the thoughts/feelings are starting to come back, just in a different light. Everything is clearer and more understandable. At times it feels as though it has been ages since I have seen her (especially compared to friends that I have not seen in 3 months-that does not seem like a long time) and at other times it feels like she is still there. Is this normal? With the holidays coming, I get this anxiety that she might try to contact me. I know that she won't (and I hope that she doesn't) but I still think about it.
  20. JohnnyTable
    I really feel for you as I was in a similiar, although not as bad situation. You must go into NC and stay that way. It is your only possible choice right now. On the bright side, this guy has serious problems and is not worth your time or energy. You will discover this in the future after enough NC has passed.
  21. JohnnyTable
    I know that every situation is different. I'm just curious as to if you just meet somebody and have a few intial dates, how often do you call or go out with this person? It seems like it could be risky to do too much too soon as it would be overwhelming, even though you might want to spend all of your time with them
  22. JohnnyTable
    I think that if a guy says that he needs space, it really means that he is interested in finding somebody else. It sounds like he might be using you as a safety net and that is why he keeps coming back once he realizes that it can be hard out there.
  23. JohnnyTable
    Why did you break up?
  24. JohnnyTable
    Thanks acts12. She knows nothing about my previous ex or relationship (we have not talked about it) other than the fact that I had one and it was long term. This came out after she offered the same information to me. I agree that not talking about exes is a good idea. For me, recent in that things ended in the June/July timeframe. I don't know when things ended for her, but I think it was at least that long ago.
  25. JohnnyTable
    Good point. Perhaps I can just ask her?
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