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JohnnyTable

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Everything posted by JohnnyTable

  1. JohnnyTable
    You shouldn't be ignoring her emails. You should be BLOCKING the emails from the cheater so that you don't have to think about them anymore. Trust me on this one.
  2. JohnnyTable
    Nice work. It will be easier next time if there is one.
  3. JohnnyTable
    Keep in mind that you can forgive somebody without telling the other person.
  4. JohnnyTable
    You are obsessing. You are trying to figure out the impossible. This will drive you crazy. You are addicted to this person. Breaking an addiction is not easy, nobody said that it was. But unless you break your addiction, it will take you down. This world is filled with women EVERYWHERE. Your goal should be to heal such that you can snag a good one that also wants to be with you. Every second you waste on your ex is a second wasted on a future beauty. How much time do you really have?
  5. JohnnyTable
    Perhaps, perhaps not. But sooner or later you realize that you just don't care.
  6. JohnnyTable
    If you are in NC with your ex, why are you IMing with her? Why is she not blocked? You aren't in NC. You are simply in "I will not contact her mode" which is not the same thing. You are allowing contact from her.
  7. JohnnyTable
    Man I hate to see people posting emails like these. They are so selfish. She admits in her first line that she is breaking your wishes and crossing your boundary. I would block her.
  8. JohnnyTable
    Sometimes I think that these forums hurt my recovery. I think that coming here is like maintaining a connection to the ex. On the other hand, I have received some incredible advice to help me move on, so all in all its worth it. I am toying with the idea of dropping the forums for a few months and then returning so that I can keep helping people without being here as a connection to my ex.
  9. JohnnyTable
    Contact somebody else. Call another friend.
  10. JohnnyTable
    There are no gurantees. I did NC with an ex (5 year relationship) and never heard anything from her and it has been two years. Sometimes people just move on, which really is the best thing to do.
  11. JohnnyTable
    If your stuff is petty and can be replaced, then don't worry about it. Return her items to her. I would mail it with delivery receipt so that you know that she received it okay. This is weighing on you and you need to get rid of it.
  12. JohnnyTable
    They can get mad, but that is their problem. It is not your problem. You aleady have a reason to do NC and that is because you broke up.
  13. JohnnyTable
    I think it has something to do with how they were feeling. For example I could tell that my ex was mad at me because I went NC. So when I did respond to her, she took it as me being angry. If she had been happy at the time then perhaps she would not have read it this way. And ya I was angry, but my words weren't showing it. She read a lot into what I said in a few sentences
  14. JohnnyTable
    Look, you are killing yourself with this. Knowing this information will not help you in any way. TAKE HER OFF YOU IM LIST. You should not know when she is or is not online. You should not know what she is doing or be asking her to dinner. It is time for you to heal, and as you can probably guess, this is essentially impossible when you have this contact. You are right that you can't stick around.
  15. JohnnyTable
    In some sense I think that you already know your answer. She is confused, not sure if she wants to be with you, although perhaps she made a mistake. You know that this is not good to have in a gf, yet you have a connection to this one so you are willing to make an exception. So my question is really, what has happened besides her just missing you? What keeps her from doing this again?
  16. JohnnyTable
    Or even better, actually lose interest. You cannot go back to the way things were. This is total denial. You also know that being friends will not work. How could this be possible? You were together 4.5 years. Don't worry about your possessions. Your mental health and wellbeing is what needs to be focused on now.
  17. JohnnyTable
    I'm affraid that almost anything you say at this point will be taken in a way that you don't intend and that the ex may react angrily to it. With past exes I have sent incredibly heartfelt letters only to have them rejected as "cold".
  18. JohnnyTable
    Well, I don't see anything in that email that really justifies a response, or at least a response that I can come up with. It sounds like she is fishing for how you are doing (asking if you could still love her). Of course she is hurt, you two broke up! However it is her job to grieve on her own. She knows that she is crossing your boundary by contacting you in this way, yet she is doing it anyway by tip toeing around. I'm also sure that most dumpers regret their decision from time to time, but you two broke up for a reason (whatever that is). I'm not sure if one should take the other back just because they miss you due to NC. Things will just go back to the way that they were and then you will end up in the same spot again.
  19. JohnnyTable
    If my ex emailed me over something like this, after a long period of NC, I would see it as an excuse to contact me.
  20. JohnnyTable
    I agree. Use NC to heal. You dumped him for a reason and it doesn't sound like you have a good reason to go back.
  21. JohnnyTable
    Don't worry about it. It is a petty reason to contact your ex IMHO.
  22. JohnnyTable
    I'm at the same spot time wise and have very similiar feelings as you do.
  23. JohnnyTable
    How long have you been broken up for?
  24. JohnnyTable
    Curious, how long were you NC before you started feeling better?
  25. JohnnyTable
    Good call. It removes your pain without removing the memory. The memory is importand so that you can avoid the same pain in the future
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