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JohnnyTable

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Everything posted by JohnnyTable

  1. JohnnyTable
    Honestly, I think that knowing that they are seeing and sleeping with other people forces one to move on quicker. It did with me at least.
  2. JohnnyTable
    Get out now. However, he will likely come after you (since he can no longer have you) and you must remain strong. Remember how things are right now...
  3. JohnnyTable
    I agree with the others. You must save yourself, your credit, and your sanity. Get your stuff back. DO IT TOMORROW if you can. Get the storage and just pay for it. Most storage places are month to month so there is not a huge risk there. Get the car back and get her name off of it. Take her to court. Do whatever it takes. Spending some money now to save yourself later is always worth it. This woman is bad news. The other guy is crazy too, seeing what she is doing to you, she will likely do to him. I gurantee that after getting all of your stuff back from her, cutting all of your connections, and taking some time, you will see that it was not a good situation. I know that you love her now, but things will fall into place once you gain some clarity. Of course these are just words until you actually see it for yourself. I gained a LOT of clarify after being away from my ex, but it was a different set of circumstances than yours for sure!
  4. JohnnyTable
    Can you move? Not only because she is in your building. I think that moving helps give a fresh start on life in general.
  5. JohnnyTable
    For me knowing that my gf was with somebody else spring boarded me to the path of recovery. Otherwise I would be stuck in hope mode.
  6. JohnnyTable
    Yeah I'm a little shocked that he is asking you to compromise. Perhaps the thing that he needs to change is wanting you to compromise!
  7. JohnnyTable
    My relationship has been over for about 2.5 months. I have not spoken to my ex for 6 weeks (although I called her 3 weeks ago to let her know that I was back in town, by her request, but she never called me back). I think that she has a bf or is at least seeing somebody. As time goes on, and I move forward, I start to realize that the ex calling seems very unlikely. I don't have a reason to call her, why would she call me? When my ex started going out with me, I don't remember her calling any of her ex boyfriends! So I guess I don't understand it when people say that the ex almost always calls but it can take 2-6 months. It seems like after that amount of time, they would feel weird or bad about calling. I have no experience in this, so I'm looking for opinions...
  8. JohnnyTable
    Go to counseling for yourself. It really does help.
  9. JohnnyTable
    Regarding the porn. I don't necessarily think that looking at it is unhealthy, but I sure wouldn't bring it up until you are very close with somebody! There really is no way to tell what girls like at that age. Some like confidence, shy guys, smart guys, etc.
  10. JohnnyTable
    I met an incredible girl last December. We spent about 5 hours together. She is amazing. At the time, I was in a long term relationship thus not available. However show showed her desire for me and asked me out in a way. Since I was practically married, I did not get her phone number or any contact information. I only know her name. I know that she would remember me. However, I also know that she works personally for one of the CEOs that my business does business with. I am not incredibly close to the CEO. So I am trying to figure out how I can get in contact with this girl. All ideas are running through my head: -Look up her address and send her something in the mail. Too creepy? -Give something to the CEO and have him give it to her for me. Perhaps a card asking to call if she likes? Since I am not close to the CEO, not sure what he will think. Perhaps I could sent it to him at the company address and include a note asking him to forward it along to this girl? (The girl does NOT work for the company). Remember that she asked me out! -What if I go over the top? Create a photo book of funny pictures that would remind her of our event (there are plenty of key things that would remind her) and then have my phone number or e-mail at the end? I really liked this girl and have nothing to loose, so I want to try and contact her. I know that I only have one shot at this and want to make it a good one I have a feeling that the CEO would not (nor should he) give her contact information to me if I asked, so I don't think that is a good route.
  11. JohnnyTable
    Yes, I will have a colleague with me. I know it will be hard to see her. I just don't want to be back at square 1, but perhaps this could move me forward if I handle it right?
  12. JohnnyTable
    I own a business that does business with where my ex works. We are both small companies. My ex and I have not spoken in about 6 weeks. There was no closure. She said that she wanted to talk to me in person and then cut me off and got a new bf. So in other words, things are not good. We had been together for 5 years and were going to get married. Anyway, I might have to show up at her company for a meeting. She is the secretary so would obviously know. What is the best way to handle this situation? How should I mentally prepare myself? Personally I do not want to see or talk to her, but I am being put into a potentially uncomfortable situation.
  13. JohnnyTable
    Just curious, why do you plan on talking to her again? Do you want to get her back or are you trying to move forward? I just want to know what your current situation is.
  14. JohnnyTable
    Personally I would not block her. I would simply stop adding stuff to the journal. Of course this may screw your other friends (can you start a new one for them?) but I don't know much about your journal, how many people read it, etc. Otherwise I would not want her reading it if I were you.
  15. JohnnyTable
    Spanglish, Although it may not feel like it, you are such a good position to become a better and stronger person. I have gone through what you are going through twice in my life now. Each time I pop out at the other end (still popping on the second one!) much better. The ex on the other hand is likely the same person or worse. At least your ex told you that she has somebody else. Mine just cut me off and then I found out through a roundabout way. Eventually you will realize that you don't want her back. Then you will begin to move forward.
  16. JohnnyTable
    For some time before my ex left me, I was having doubts about the relationship myself. We had been together for about 5 years. I think that my ex would pick up on this. She would always accuse me of wanting to be single and that I was just staying in the relationship because it was comfortable. In some ways I guess she was right, but then again I would have worked on things, gone to counceling, etc. to try and salvage what we had. She was like family. After being out of the relationship for awhile, I have realized that on many fronts I am much better off. I don't have to deal with: -Huge age difference -Unhealthy Insecurity -Her not being happy -Alcholism -Feeling "trapped" in a relationship -Her other various personal problems - including dealing with a death in the family And I also have: -More friends than before -I can see whoever I want -I feel free -I think that I will find somebody better Don't get me wrong, I still feel the negative stuff (loneliness, etc) but won't go into that here. The interesting point is this. Feeling "lucky" or "better off without them" often makes me move forward. But when I do this, I also feel guilty. It's as if I have mentally broken up with *her* and am dealing with the pain of doing that. I feel bad for thinking "now I don't have to deal with problem [x] of hers" when I know that I also love this person. I feel as if I have abandoned her... but the rational side of me knows WHO CARES BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONE WHO LEFT ME. As we all know, the rational side rarely wins out during these stages... I then feel as if she did me a favor even though I fought the breakup. So I feel bad for fighting for it, even though I needed to in order to prove to myself what I really wanted. Is this normal? Am I making sense?
  17. JohnnyTable
    Common enough... same for me!
  18. JohnnyTable
    She did not contact me in any way for my birthday. On one hand it hurt because there is the possibility that she just didn't care enough to even send an e-mail. On the other hand it is a relief because I don't have to decide what to do in response or how to handle her birthday which comes up in a few months.
  19. JohnnyTable
    Maria, We share the same birthday! So happy birthday from me at least
  20. JohnnyTable
    Just to be clear. Are you saying that contact IS to be expected or IS NOT to be expected out of respect? I'd almost say that not contacting me is the most respectful.
  21. JohnnyTable
    Just curious. I have been broken up with my ex for about 2 months now with about 5 weeks of NC from her (I called once but did not get a call back). However my birthday is coming up. This will be an interesting turning point as she will have to make a decision. Call or not call? e-card or no e-card? Of course this assumes that she actually remembers. Either way it will send a signal: -She does not care about me -She cares about me -She is trying to manipulate me and has an excuse to Of course in knowing which of the above is going on-there is no way to tell. So I just can't care! If she doesn't contact me, I am free to never contact her on a future holiday or birthday since this is the first one to come up since our split thus setting the precedent. Right? Is it common to get contact on a b-day?
  22. JohnnyTable
    If you think about your ex in bed with somebody else, then think about *yourself* in bed with somebody else. That seems to help some
  23. JohnnyTable
    Fantasia how long has it been? It took me at least 4 weeks to even start feeling better, but I gradually am.
  24. JohnnyTable
    I think that avoiding where she might be is not a bad idea. You don't want to run into her or see her right now. However I would not avoid places that remind you of her. Visit those places and create new memories. I know this is not on your exact topic, but I'm bringing it up anyway
  25. JohnnyTable
    Just an observation from when I started to date my ex. Her previous ex kept in contact with her. He invited us to parties, bar-b-q, shows that he was putting on, etc. I did not really know at the time that he did not want the relationship to end with her. I have a feeling that he still wanted her perhaps. Anyway, she was with me. I think that him doing this just made her feel better. She did not want him back. Her other exes that completely went out of the picture caused her to think about them and wonder about them, but she never contacted them either.
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