MrMikeWikowski

@ Runesoul Yah, sometimes my ears ring afterwords. Loss of blood to the brain I guess about five or six times a week. Not bad for over 30 grin

I am at such a loss. I just can't keep my ex out of my head. It has been a very difficult last year and a half. She cheated on me. She got back together with me and broke up with me several times. In Feb she found someone else. And even though we had been broken up for 6 months, that is when she finally said it is over. I had been replaced. I did NC for months. I got a lot better. It was still hard, but better. However, just weeks ago I went for coffee with her. Now I am back nearly at sqare one. I miss her so much. Even though I know she has moved on and is living with her new boyfriend, I still wish she was back in my life. I miss her. She asked if we could be friends. I told her no. I just can't seem to move on. I am so confused as to why she contacted me again. It sounded like she really wanted to see me. I am wondering if it might be a good idea to see if she would want to go to counseling with me. If she really wants to be my friend.... I don't know. I just need peace. I have looked everywhere for it, and maybe I need some help to find it. I just want to be at peace with her. Not to be longing for somthing I can't have. Anyone have experience with this? Anyone think it is a good idea. Terrible idea? I don't think she will even go for it, but I was wondering if I should ask. I have been strong lately. Besides an email asking if she was thinking about me, I haven't contacted her and told her how bad I have been feeling. comments welcome Thanks

Man, That is rough. I know the feeling all to well. The carpet has been yanked from out underneath you. I know that this will seem like small consolation, but at least he didn't cheat on you like my ex did. So, my so called advice: Hold on. It is going to be a hard ride. But you will be OK. Almost everyone here has felt the overwhelming feelings , pain, and "why did this happen" It is really hard. But right now you have no choice. Either you accept it. Or you don't accept it, but the reality is the same. First get out the same house like icme has said. That will help you, and make him possibly miss you. But right now, I would forget trying to win him back. You need to take care of yourself. I did a lot of stupid things in my desperation. It cost me dearly in so many ways.. Move out, and do No Contact. It is very, very hard. My ex was my best friend, lover, and confidant. It is a lot to loose. But, it is better to find yourself, and even though you feel like poo, to pretend to be strong. In doing so you will be stronger. Hang in there. You will come of this. It is hard. But you will make it. Try to take each day one at a time. Try to take each hour one at a time. When I was really hurting, I just couldn't imagine my life without her. But if I broke things into little pieces I could handle it. Use your friends and family for support. They help. Do fun things. Talk to people. These activities help push the pain away. It does come back, but each time a little less. Be strong. You will make it. PM anytime if you need Mike

Well, I have given up on getting back together with my ex. She has someone new she is living with. She led me on until she found someone new, and then once she did, she let me go. She never had to feel really alone. I imagine that her current relationship will fail, but I can't even bother hurting myself thinking about if any longer Now, that I know it is hopeless, I was wondering if I should let me ex know how I am feeling sometimes. I don't mean to beg for her back, I just feel like I need to say some things. Is this a good idea? Will this be good for me, or will it make it worse? Any experience with this? Also, I am very close to her mother still. I was wondering if I should tell her mother anything about how I am feeling. Or should I just leave her out of it. Thanks for the suggestions Mike

What if your ex is living with someone else?

You gave me some really good support a few days ago. Now it is mine turn to offer a hand if you want it. I am reluctant to offer any advice. Especially since this is about divorce - in which I have no experience. But after my encounter with my ex, I would suggest that you not meet him in person. I was devestated after seeing my ex. It brought out way too many emotions, and although I thought I was prepared for the bad news, it was worse than I thought. You need to protect yourself. Don't let him hurt you again. I would at very least wait till later as shcked&dsimayed suggests. If you don't protect yourself, it will hurt worse than it does now. Trust me. Sometimes it is just better to move forward. Keep your focus fixed ahead Take care. Be strong. PM anytime if you need Mike

That is certainly profound advice. And I think I will do a myself a huge favour and take it. I have been miserable the last few days because the shred of hope I was hanging on had been cut. But, really, what meeting my ex showed me (yet again, sigh!) was that I was not ready. Not ready to see her, not ready to be her friend, and definitely not ready to be with her. Like many people here, I have been broken. My faith in myself has been shaken. I have been horribly hurt. And the thing is that is that I let myself be hurt. My love was so strong for my ex, that forgot about myself. And so, I really, really need to let go. Yes I will still love her. Yes I will still have hope. BUT, the critical part is I need to love me again first. I need to learn that I am a great person before there is any chance of anything happening. I need to focus on myself. Do what I want and meet lots of new women The funny thing is that as much as I want me ex back, I have always known I was not ready. The choice of being truly alone was just to painful. It still is, but I am going to do this. It is hard when sometimes you feel like you wish you were dead, but I do believe that best things really happen when you are not looking for them I suggest everyone take the advice in this thread. Forget all the plans of getting back with your ex. Yes you can have hope, BUT don't make it the focus of your happiness. Because you won't be happy. I hope that one day my ex and will reunite. I don't know if it is possible, but it certainly isn't now. Good luck everyone. You can pm if you need. I know how very painful this really can be. Smile Mike

Yes it might be a good reason, BUT I would still stay away from him I think it will be better for you

Man, I hear you. I just saw my ex last week. What a terrible idea. She wanted to go for coffe and I went. There she told me she was living with someone. I was crushed. I knew it was a possibility that she was seeing someone, but living with them. ARrrrg. I feel so bad. I feel like this is a huge setback. I can't think straigt at all. I am depressed again, and my work is suffering. I feel like such a love sick fool. I wish I didn't still love her so much. I haven't found anyone in the year since we broke up that was as cool as she was.

Man, I agree with most everyone on here. Things do get better. But it has been almost a year and a half for me. I got a lot better after march. When she finally told me it was over. But I just saw her again, and now I am a total mess. How do I get over this? How much longer will I ache? I have done a lot to try and move on. To try and do things for myself. I really have. But at the end of the day, I feel so alone, and I miss her so much,. It seems so easy for her, yet so hard for me.

@j33 Yes, sometimes I want revenge. Most of all I want her to know how I feel. I think if she could walk an hour in my shoes she wouldn't have hurt me so very bad. I think about doing something mean to her, but my heart just really isn't into it,and it probably would just feel worse. The problem is I love her. And so deep down, I don't want to hurt her, I want to care for her. It is totally messed up. But I care too much. And it seems no matter what I do, I still care. And normally that is a great thing, but she just treats me like dirt. why do I still love her, when she no longer loves me? I hate being like this. It really sucks. It has been almost a year and a half, and I am still messed up. grrr,

Wow, What inspiring words I really wish I could do what you have done. However, it is nearly a year since we broke up, and nearly six months since she told me it is "over", and I still feel like I'm a mess. Well, I was doing pretty good, but I had saw her last week, and that was really, really hard. I'm back to a sad, crying, heap of a man When is this gonna end? I still love her. Why do I? Mike

@ k33 I know exactly how you feel. Well, I think I know how you feel. I have never been suicidal either, but like you I get thoughts about dying. Luckily I have a large amount of self preservation so I don't think I could ever do it. I don't understand how I have become so weak. I used to be the strongest, most independent, confident person I know. Well, maybe not quite, but I was strong. Now I am weak, sad, and lonely. And i have felt this way for over a year. How could I have lost so much. How could i have trusted someone so much, loved someone so much, that i would let them take everything from me. That I would allow myself to be broken down time and time again. I can tell you though that life is worth it. I know that. I just don't know how I ended up here. Don't give up. You realize where you are, now realize where you want to go. pm anytime if u need to talk Mike

That sucks. You need to let go of this guy. Trust me I know how hard it is. I am having such a hard time letting go of my ex, and don't even know if I can do it. But at the very least you need to do No Contact. Do not contact him. It is very, very hard, but you need to. One day at at time. You can do it. good luck Mike You can PM if you need

I know how you feel. Take it one minute, one steop at a time PM if you need