the_tiger_striped_cat

homealone this could take a lot longer than a month. If you weren't there it could take her a year or more. But they do say that the only cure for a woman is another woman. So hopefuly it works for the girls too. You need to give her LOTS of time. Are they trying to get back together? Does she want him back? Do they still talk? She has a right to fight for him, and see this through to the bitter end. And you are in dire risk of having a rebound relationship. I think you should give her a lot more than a month. You want her to completely heal and forget about him. She has to be completely over that relationship before she ever truly starts one with you. Now head my warning. Because so many bad things can happen. She can just use you to feel better about herself and dump you because you're a rebound. She will be coming to you because she is lonely, you need to not be the one she comes to because she misses her ex. She needs lots of time alone. She should learn to live alone for awhile. Don't try and help her through this, help her at the end when she is ready. If you help her through this you could easily get burned. Also I think you should have a heart to heart talk with her sometime and tell her: "It shouldn't be any of my business if you talk to your ex, but I think I have a right to know, that's all I ask." Make sure she understands that. Let her know that a friend (me) was hurt really bad becasue of this. Because my girl never told me and 4 months later went back to him. So if he realizes what he did, or he is some comittment-phobic guy or something HE WILL be back. Like I said this relationship needs to die. She needs to be able to live on her own, and then you would EASILY be able to help her forget once and for all about mr whatshisname. Baggage of previous relationships may not seem to be a major factor in contributing to breakups today, but it is serious enough, and frequent enough to earn a place on BETs "Why to relationships fail" poll that I saw yesterday. Good luck.

sorry tiger not a female here. But I'll try and anticipate their responses and give you a guys perspective from the going down on girls standpoint. (Actually I'm cbfan, I started this thread, but forgot my old password to my account.) Now I'm sure that some women here don't like to swallow but they do it because they really want to please they're SO. But you don't. So either: 1) Your revulsion to swallow is much grater than theirs 2) You really are selfish in not overcoming this for him. Now I can understand where you are coming from. At one point I had to really struggle with going down on girls. It just seemed a little disgusting to me. But after realizing that even though I can list off a bunch of reasons why I don't like it (taste, hair, etc.), I can also list many reasons why I do: the look on HER face, the way SHE screams, the way SHE bucks HER hips when she climaxes. HA! Ok I'll stop there. Basically, I realized that I want her to be pleasured so much that I actually started to ENJOY doing it for her sake. I realized that real men go down on their women EVERY TIME, and don't make stupid excuses. Now lets be gender neutral here. The same way I think that their are few excuses not to go down on women, I think there are few excuses why women shouldn't swallow. Now before I get reamed by many here let me get one thing straight IT IS WRONG MAKE/EXPECT SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING THEY DON'T WANT TO. BUT It is also wrong to not do something for someone you love for a stupid reason. Taste, smell, texture are all stupid reasons for guys and girls. The whole "grossing out" this is slightly more acceptable on both sides, but is something that needs to be looked at in a psychological light and not so much as an excuse. Gaging is a different story. We all have our line somewhere. I mean anal is a different story and I bet I would get a difference response entirely. But without making a fallacious appeal to popularity, I can reasonably say that the line for most people SHOULD be drawn past having sex, past bjs, past going down on women, and yes I would EVEN say past swallowing. There is a difference between "not being able to" and making excuses because you really won't get over something to make your partner happy. And I see people complain about their bf/gf all the time because they don't put their partners pleasure first. But if I haven't made you a swallower yet, let me say this last thing. Wouldn't it be nice to be looked at as the greatest lover this guy as ever had. If you don't the guy may always be thinking, "she's good in bed, but my ex swallowed for me." And I bet the girls think the same thing. So when it comes to me, I'm going to act like I live down there . by the way, got a bf to test out your new found curiosity? he he

But it does apply to A LOT of Women. There are stages: 1) Confidence 2) Jerk Any girl will perfer a guy from class1 and some will EVEN perfer some from class2 over class1. It's amazing sometimes. In fact there are guys that use this entire fact to their advantage. Call them players or whatever. I think one of the Mods actually made a sticky to this site somewhere. It's got a lot of good tips BUT the entire base philosophy is horrible: link removed

Ah the risks of not following NC. If you would of stuck with NC at least you would know his true feelings--if he tried to find his way back to you. Now do you think you are just stuck in "friend zone"? Are you "just a friend" to him now? Can there be anything left for you? If there is you should have a talk with him. But your options are: 1) Keep going with this and see if he ends up falling for you again. 2) Have a talk with him and tell him that you still care for him, and it hurts to much to see him around other girls. Tell him you need to move on with your life. 3) Cut all ties unexpectedly. Be careful with this one! He may assume you're playing games, or you suddenly hate him. But I commend you on bearing the pain. It's something I couldn't do AT ALL! Don't worry sexy! you'll get the guy in the end

I know that anything, be it 5 hours or 5 days away, can qualify as a long distance relationship. Any relationship without regular contact (guess I need to define regular here ) can qualify as a long-distance. BUT long is one of those qualifiers that mean different things to different people. Six hours for me would definitely be doable. I mean I could make the drive a couple of times a week if my true love was wating for me. Now a lot of people wouldn't be able to do this, and some could bear more. So I know that long distance can mean different things to different people. But... What does long distance mean to you? How long would it have to be before you wouldn't be able to make regular contact. Let's make two definitions of regular contact: once a week and twice a week. For me (if it's for true love): Once a week: 9 hours Twice a week: 6 hours Opinions?

By the way. I do want to apologize. This isn't the first time that someone has accused me of attacking them. I think I really need to find a better way to be more descriptive or write without CAPS for emphasis. or stop asking rhetorical questions or something.

No it's not obvious at all. There are magnitudes of pain. And people who say we all go through the same amount of pain haven't really thought things through. Some people kill themselves over things like this, and some people who are with the other person for 10 years (or are married) probably go through a lot more pain than I will. And people who say things like "You need to understand that a good number of women would rather you die lonely, alone, and loving her then actually moving on with your life." Seems to be to have gone through a lot more pain than me. It's just an observation. That's all. Actually, I never said I rejected any of your advice yet, I was just disagreeing with some of the things you said. I told everyone here that I will NOT be contacting her anytime soon, and the plan still stands. But I did think about why some seem to make my ex out worse than I do. I think I did a horrible job at explaining. It's not like I was on a bench sad an she came by and laughed at me lol. What happened was I found out she went to see her bf, I went somewhere, she joined me later and asked, "are you ok" and she seemed to be smiling when she did that. Also when I first started heavy NC when she did see me she was very happy. She would comment on how I had to leave right after seeing her. She associated this aloofness with trying to get her out of my head, with still loving her--which she adores(for bad or worse). Later when she saw that I wasn't just playing any games, this happiness turned into bitterness. She resented me for not contacting her anymore (and she stopped calling me). She associated my aloofness with either "falling out of love" or actively hating her, giving up on a friendship, so she defended against that. Now most of this is conjecture, but I know something that isn't. She really desires to hear from me. Independent of ever seeing me she wants to hear from me. Now I'm not saying this would ever be enough to get her back. There is something about ex that will keep her there unless it fails one day. But wanting to hear from (and see) your ex to this degree a year after breaking up and months after even seeing him is better than the cases where someone is "moving on." All I wanted is an opinion (hopefully female) that would tell me the difference between missing someone and wanting them back. I realize that by trying to be terse I sorta left out all the important stuff. thanks for the luck... I'LL NEED IT!

Woah wait a sec. I'm sorry if I cant communicate properly but I didn't think I was attacking you, I said: "But you're right. I do think you hit on a lot of points why she's acting the way she's acting" How is that attacking you? Reread my post in a calm voice. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I'm going "into attack mode". And as for our situations, yes you did agree they were similar, you also told me to "stay out of her life" and didn't mention to "[talk] to my EX about her and our issues" as you have done. That's the ONLY reason I disagreed with you said you weren't practicing what you preach. Listen. I may be bad at communicating my point, and I'm sorry. Don't confuse my rhetorical style with anger. I reread it, and if I don't assume anything it doesn't really seem bad. But I'm sure I don't have the most disinterested of viewpoints. But just tell me what made you think that I was "in attack mode" and I'll apologize for it. take care.

You may have A explination (one I'm willing to accept), but maybe not THE explanation. Let me tell you another one. She is showing the symptoms of a girl that wants to go back to her ex that she hasn't seen in months, but is too afraid to at the moment because of all the commitment and because it seems like (in her eyes) he hates her. Now doesn't that explain every single symptom? Doesn't it? Actually I don't really believe this. Things w/ bf can't be that bad or she would have left him. (Well at least I hope so.) I'm just showing you that if I'm guilty of infering feelings from her actions as you put it (or did i?), then you're guilty of the exact same thing . We are both wondering "how she might be feeling" and we both have evidence to work with. There is little difference. But what you might have missed your analysis: I haven't seen her in months. So why would she come on strong? I haven't seen her in months, so why would she try and get a reaction out of me. I know that shes acting like this even when I'm not around. Listen, like I said before. She wants me to contact her and she doesnt even know that I know that. It's not like she's trying to get a reaction out of me to feed her insecurities anymore. But one last thing. How is your case with your ex different than mine? Can't I act the EXACT same way as your acting. Do I HAVE to "get out of her life" as you put it? It just seems a little hipocrytical to me. And about that last line. I didn't say I was going back to her because she was a little girl did I? I said that to defend her from everyone's pesimistic view of her. But you're right. I do think you hit on a lot of points why she's acting the way she's acting. My friends have mentioned things similar to what you're saying. But they recognize the fact that I shouldn't hate her, as some seem to imply, and that mabye I should at least be her friend if she ever asks this of me, as you seem to be doing with your ex. I mean what's the difference between our two situations? Because I'm going to go back to her? Reread the thread again. I have explictly said that I will NOT contact her. I hope you didn't mean this. But hell. I'm probably wrong about all this anyways take care.

Everyone in right here. People DO MAKE MISTAKES. I feel sorry for the people who say things like. You need to look out for #1. I hate her for what she did for me. I can't believe the bitterness sometimes. But you need to make sure she doen't have a cheating personality. Make sure that this is an isolated incident and will never happen again. Married couples are known to go through the same thing. 80% of married couples at least TRY again after infedility. Because someone does forgive. But you should remember. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. If she EVER does this again, kick her curbside. She should wallow in her pain for a little while, not because you're masochistic, but because it's good for her to associate pain with what she did. She can't think that you're some doormat that will take her back everytime. And you should tell her that flat you. You tell her, "I will never forgive you again, if you EVER do this again. I can see you're sorry for what you've done. But you need to understand that this one of the worst things you can do to someone. And I will never put up with it again." good luck my friend.

Boy BZ sounds like you've been hurt pretty bad in the past. Denial? Maybe, maybe not. Only time will tell. But I'm sure that someone who knows her, and has dealt with her actions for over the year is better to judge her actions than someone who got a half a page synopsis on my situation. I gave you like 5 other "actions", as you call them, and you didn't even touch them. But I can see where you're coming from: anything less than a "I made a mistake, I love you" speech will mean she has no feelings whatsoever in your eyes . She hasn't been possessive. I hope I didn't say that. Maybe that's why you're taking such a pessimistic slant. Is there no benign reasons why she might show happiness to my pain. Any AT ALL? Dumped me. You're giving me evidence from the simple fact that she dumped me. Ok now this is the worst of all. Have you EVER heard the phrases "My feelings have changed.", "I've thought about you every day." or "I made a big mistake." Can anyone EVER make a mistake when it comes to a relationship. Can they EVER have psychological issues? Is EVERY choice to breakup, or leave someone ALWAYS CORRECT? And the same goes for dating new bf. And btw I haven't seen her in months. I am only analyzing her actions from a distance. Reread my posts where I keep saying, "Don't ask me how I know" . Bz I think your applying your situation to mine or something like that. I know what you think though. You see one thing about her smiling when I'm in pain and you immediately think she's evil. Don't get me wrong, she has some problems to deal with. But I have a better view of people then you do I guess. Looking our for number one? Sometimes love means loving someone more than you love yourself. Sorry your wrong on this one. Like I said. I'll admit that it's possible that I'm in denial. Can you admit that maybe you're wrong in your analysis? Isn't it even POSSIBLE??? take care. --------- The hardest thing is to not hate your ex for what happened. People are largely a product of a million factors beyond their control. The one's that can realize this and forgive despite the pain are surely gods among men.

one word: his ego. ok sorry that's two words. But when my ex would say things like, "you shoudl see all the guys talking about you, 'he's learning Japanese'" it make me feel so good. And this goes both ways too. Whenever I talked about how my ex made the best hamburgers in the world, it really made her happy. Now this will be hard to integrate into a flirt session, but if you can it will make im feel really good about himself. And when people feel good they will associate their surroundings (you) with what makes them feel good. Everyone else gave great adivce on how to make him be turned on to you. But this one will help him associate happiness with you. Good luck. By the way. You can practice on close friends. I have so many friends (who are girls) who I pracitce with. I'm getting pretty good at it to. i know how a properly placed, "hey sexy" will really make a girl feel good, esp when her bf isn't noticing her .

I agree with EVERYONE HERE. But am I missing something. She's on the pill and they are each others first. No one even acknowledged either. I know that that's not an absolute for disease or preganancy, but you're all acting like he's doing a pull and pray and has had 15 partners in his life.

fantasia, It's great because the girl can do what makes her feel good. I had a ex that would move just like she liked, and came every time. What kind of guys are you seeing? talking to? I don't know about other guys, but I'll let you do that to me anytime you want.

first- sex second-3some third-4some home-5some inpark home run-sex in her parents house grand slam-total of 4 orgasms betwen the two of you anyothers?

SAME THING HERE! My ex went back to her ex. We'll get to my similar analysis, since I'm a year ahead of where you are. But first... First of all buddy, you're preaching to the choir here. You have no idea how many times I ask myself: Surely no one knows pain like this? Do they scream out to god, do they cry like I until they pass out, do they lose 15 lbs in 3 weeks, do they drink 7 beers, 4 shots and almost have to go to hospital for alcohol poisoning? Do they email ex 5 times a day for a month? Do they seclude themselves for 6 months from all friends and family? Do they dance around the room pretending it's with their's and ex's future daughter only to fall to the ground clawing at their chest to remove their heart to escape the pain? And the answer is: they really do. Sure you're pain maybe worse than mine, but I can almost guarantee that someone has it worse than you. Not everyone has to go through this though. Life is really unfair at times. Sometimes I think that we should of died a very long time ago, you and I. Before we knew of this level of pain. It's the closest we'll ever get to what a mother feels when she loses her daughter to cancer, or what the Jews felt at Auschwitz, or those that jumped from the twin towers on 9/11 felt because they would rather fall 100 stores then burn to death. Now understand that you have a right to fight for her. You have a right to beg and plead. It's debatable whether one shouldn't do this at all. Because at least then she would know how much she really loves you, and a year from now she might remember how you fought for her. But don't push her away. You have a right to hope for her. No matter how hopeless the situation, PEOPLE'S FEELINGS CHANGE! It's amazing how many times I've heard someone say, "She told me she never wanted to see me again, and then 7 months later we were married," or something similar. But after enough time you should hope for the best while you prepare for the worst. No Contact (NC) helps you heal and help come to their true feelings because you're not pressuring them all the time. During this time you need to realize that you will become a better person because of this. You will get over this one way or another. I know it's hard to see that where you're now. And believe me I blew off that last sentence when people told it to me too. But read it again: YOU WILL BECOME A BETTER PERSON BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU WILL GET PAST THIS. Read it again! I'm serious. Even after saying this like 4 times, you probably wont understand the FULL implications of what it means for years to come. But so be it. You need to concentrate on yourself. I'm going to play devils advocate for a second. I KNOW you're not a perfect person. I know you weren't perfect for her in every way. Sure, the entire reason she left maybe do to something besides you, even if you were perfect. But you're not perfect. Since my breakup: -I've realized that I was immature during the relationship, and I know how better to deal with love and relationships. I read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, several books on sex, more relationship books, and books on psychology, I buy books on 10,000 ways to say "I love you." -I'm more self reflective, and improving myself more and more. -I learned more about etiquette, fashion, health. -I've jumped out of a plane twice -I've volunteered EXTENSIVELY -I went to Costa Rica ALONE and met so many girls there. I've traveled to D.C. I enjoy the great outdoors now. -I read a lot more, shut off the stupid TV, and research things more -I've added 10bls of muscle and dropped 3% body fat, eat better. I train in several different Martial Arts. -I'm learning Japanese -I'm more outgoing then ever before. Realize that you personally have within yourself to make this the biggest mistake of her life. You need to turn this into a positive moment. Now for my analysis on why your ex did what she did. I have a unique perspective considering that I went through the same thing. People have told me: SOME WOMEN: "Women are swayed by time spent together and feelings of 'love'." "They can profess love and not know what love is." "They can be attached to a past." "They can not be sure what they're doing, but do it anyways." "They can convince themselves with ideas of "meant to be", "the one", and "happens for a reason" philosophy" "If she was still emotionally attached to her ex then she will go back to him. She has to break completely with him before she can ever really start a relationship with you." "She wasn't ready for any relationship except with the one with your ex." I really don't know your situation, but if she had any emotional attachment to him she can go back to him even if it's a destructive relationship. -Was he her first love? -Did he know her longer than you? -Did he come before you did? -Did he leave her? -Was he suddenly rededicated? -Did he say things like, "I've realized I love you, and I could never say that before." or things that make it seem like he's changed. -Did they know this was coming before you did? -Did she put you through any tests that you wern't ready for but he was ready for -Did she lie to herself on any occasion -Does she have any childhood (or otherwise?) derived issues of fear of rejection or insecurities. Any of these factors will work against you for the moment, but for you in the long run if she ever gets over the thing that made her go back to him--which may never happen. Realize that you probably did something wrong, because you're not perfect, so make sure you're better for the next relationship (her or not). But anything you did wrong probably didn't contribute to the breakup at all. Search google, this site, or google groups for "back to her ex" (with quotes) to see how common this is. People go back to their exs all the time. It usually doesn't work though. So probably wont work for him, and there's a good chance it wont work for you either. But good luck. You may get her back, but sometimes it takes a long time. PM me if you need anything further.

I think we have different definitions of the word "friend." My definition EXCLUDES any romantic feelings whatsoever. Maybe I'm wrong. But I think that's how the world views friendship. When people say, "Oh no, he's JUST a friend." I know that that person believes that there are no romantic feelings. Once you have romantic feelings, you're beyond the "friendship" stage. Maybe you wont make it to "lover" stage, but you're beyond friendship. And the only way getting back to friendship proper is if you dont have those feeligns anymore. For this same reason I don't believe pepople know what they're talking about when they say, "My bf is my best friend." By that they mean they can share anything with them. They can confide and have fun with them like they would a best friend AND be lovers. But they are simply not, "Best friends." They are more than "Best friends." It's not like you take friendship and add something to it. You become more than JUST friends. That's why we have the phrases "just friends" and "more than friends" I don't go around saying, my ex was my friend and my lover. (Yeah I guess some do, but I think they're just as confused.) I mean you're probably doing the right thing. If my ex didn't go back to her ex I might do the same as you. Although, personally, after enought time I would probably let her go too--the pain woudl be too great. You're doing fine I'm sure. But all I'm saying is be honest with yourself. You want her back REALLY REALLY BAD, because you love her romantically SO MUCH. And if I'm wrong, then how much do you want her back? Just a little bit? Because if that were the case it sure doesn't sound like you love her romantically all that much. So you can be "friends" and want her back REALLY REALLY BAD. And all I'm saying is reread that sentence again. It seems a little contradictory if you think of friendship in the traditional manner. good luck

Yeah you're all very right. And I'm not going to contact her. I just wanted some opinions. I think this actually happens less when women are more secure. The problem is though that she's not very secure when it comes to relationships. She's just wanting what she cant have, or realizing that the grass isn't greener on the other side. So you're all so right. But I hope you don't mind if I take a little more optimistic slant to this situation. Sure she may be doing all this because she's insecure, but I think there's a little more for me there actually. If it was just insecurity/wanting to be loved issue then she wouldn't: Be so unhappy with her bf (they argue all the time, and pretty bad sometimes) Come on as strong as she is with me.. Have so many doubts about future with bf. Want me to fight for her. End a phone conversation with bf so that she could talk to me. Say things like, "My feelings may change in the future." Although this was a few months ago. AND Actually RISK (on several occasions) spending time with bf (sometimes up to a week) for the CHANCE that I might want to spend time with her (this happened on several occasions almost a year later). Again please don't ask me how I know these things. So why not come back to me? Well obviously something is working for the moment (fear of rejection, so much history, he's dedicated, could be a number of reasons, but it doesn't have to be because they're madly in love, or because he's the better man). But I'm sure, like me, you've heard stories about breakers calling up breakees months/years later. I'm actually doing hardcore NC (I could see her every day if I wanted to) based on a couple of other stories I got form this board. Basically the girl was with someone else, and she so badly wanted to contact her ex but it took a long time (7 months in one case, and over a year in another case). She was basically in denial for this time. But every day they would almost pick up the phone to call ex. I'm not saying I'm in the exact situation. But just to defend my ex here. What kind of person would enjoy seeing someone they once loved in pain? Why would I want someone like that in my life? She's a confused little girl inside, living with insecurities, and fear of rejection from her manipulative bf. She's a little girl inside. She doesn't know what she wants. And her feelings can change, or she can realize that she's "loved me all along" (i hope). (You've heard that phrase before right?) I'm not going to fault her for wanting a love that her bf can't provide. She's made many mistakes, and maybe she'll never realize any these feelings. They'll probably fade one day. But that doesn't mean that I don't have a piece of her heart. Sorry I'm going to hold out for a more optimistic view of my ex (who none of you know BTW .

Ex went back to her ex bf almost a year ago. I started initiating more and more NC about 6 months ago. We're now to the point that I don't see her much anymore. Now for whatever reason--maybe her bf doesn't show this kind of love to her--but she has always adored the fact that I love her so much. When I would send her romantic emails (after the breakup) she would be completely moved. She wanted also so badly to spend more time with me. Even 9 months after the breakup she would be HAPPY, utterly HAPPY that I still loved her to that degree. She would bask in my pain (the proof that I loved her). She would see that I was sad that she goes to see him (he's LD) and she would actually come to see me, and ask if I was ok, and SMILE at my pain! She would smile at my pain, not because she's sadistic, but because she loves the fact that I love her so much. She so badly wants that love from me, but she hasn't left bf. (It also seemed that she wanted me to fight for her 6 months ago, and I'm also fairly sure about this, but not certain.) So the process was this: -She would see me once in a while and was sooo happy--my aloofness was proof that I was hurting, so she would be so happy when she saw me. She knew that I was avoiding her because I was in a lot of pain. She apologized to me for not understanding that I "need time alone." -Time passed and now she's mad at me. Either she's worried that I really have moved on, that I'm playing games, or shes mad that I don't love her like I used to and it bothers her. Now to the question. I haven't seen her in a month. And before that another month. We are almost to our one year anniversary of our breakup and she badly wants me to email her and AT LEAST to say hi, and maybe to tell her I love her (based on how she always needed constant validation of my love). This desire is fairly strong, I won't tell you how I know, but trust me, I know. And if you're thinking that it's because of the anniversary, well it's not. The last time I saw her she also wanted fairly badly for me to contact her. Now a part of me feels really bad. She is CONSTANTLY disappointed by not seeing me (yes she also tries to see me too) and not hearing from me. I know this level of NC could be seen as avoidance and could be detrimental. But she is moving to be with bf in about 2 months and I'm not going to set myself up for more pain. She has to break down and want me back. She'll probably leave, but I'm not going to coax her back into my life. She has a personality that puts up a strong facade, but deep down she's a little insecure girl that is afraid of rejection by her first love, but still doesn't want to lose me (I think). If she doesn't break down and call me then this desire really isn't all that strong. Right? Opinions?

Yeah other sources have a verb form too. Dictionaries are descriptive not prescriptive. Some like MW don't recognize the plural form yet, but but many have and MW probably will soon. You know what's funnier Ever wondrer what the plural form of penis is? link removed and click on the audio for pronouncation

Ok guys do love breasts. But everyone has their own tastes. Guys like breasts for sexual appeal. They would probably never let small size get in a way of a relationship. But you're probably asking about personal preference. Most guys wouldn't like a girl that was completely flat. Many guys wouldn't like a girl who is over a certain range either. If a girls breasts ever "get in the way" under any circumstance (running or whatever) then I think her breasts are too big. Personally I've never been with a girl with breasts over a B cup (maybe C). I personally like smaller girls. But I'm not like everyone Small breasts are more sensitive. Big breasts are more noticeable. Big breasts are more fun to look at during sex, small breasts are more fun to suck on during sex . Be careful. But girls who are insecure with their breasts size will actually develop insecurity issues. I hope you're not one of them.

muneca, What was the mistake you made? Help us all to make sure we don't make the same mistake. btw LOVE YOUR QUOTE. I memorized it and saved it!

gti is right this does seem like game playing. I really don't know where I stand with playing games but I'll tell you this. I told myself I was above playing games. When my ex found out I was hanging out with other girls I actually made sure to tell her that I wasn't having sex with them (I met so many girls down in Costa Rica). Now that was probably stupid. But I have NEVER tried to make her jealous or anything. I told myself that I'm above games and she is going to come back to me because I love her, not because I coaxed her back and used human psychology in my favor. But that's for you to decide. We'll see if this ends up working for me in the end, because I didn't do the things that exs do. But at the same time some say you have to play games. I don't know, tough one. But I advise you, if you do play games, GO ALL OUT! Only because I want to know what happens when someone plays games TO THE EXTREME! good luck

You're right maybe we are in different situations. But... Your past friendship is irrelevant as is your agreement and current dedication. An ultimate deep, passionate romantic love is incompatible with true friendship. A friend is someone you have a certain emotional attachment to. I have lots of female friends who are great friends. I don't have romantic love for them though. I have deep unwavering romantic love for my ex. I recognize the fact that a big part of me loves her so much that I want to be with her every second of the day for the rest of my life. This desire is spectacular. In fact, it's been a whole year and it's still this bad. I could be "friends" with her. I mean she is so unbelievably important to me. And although I may call it "friends", I would know that independent of me caring for her deeply, I want something of her, namely a romantic relationship. Like I said, for me this desire is spectacular. But you shouldn't desire something from a friend, you are their friend for friendship's sake. The stronger this desire, the less of a true friend you really are. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that getting back with her is all that matters with you. I'm sure she's a very important person and you're a good guy I'm sure. But I am saying that either you love her like crazy (want to spend your entire life with her and anything less than that kills you) OR you really don't love her romantically to that degree and can actually endure friendship. When this "friendship" with her actually hurts you then I'll believe that you really love her romantically to that degree. You can call it "friendship" if you want. But even you have to admit that there is SOMETHING different between the guy and girl who just want to be friends, and the guy and girl who are friends and one has the desire to get back together. Don't get me wrong. You can be friends with an ex. But you need a long time (usually years) before the old feelings die away. You feel I'm being immature because I'm attacking what you believe. It's totally natural, and I understand. But I think we can both be mature enough to put our emotions aside and talk about this important issue. Because MANY people on here believe that you CAN'T be friends with an ex. If you do become friends then you don't really love her romantically all that much, or your in the friendship for some other reason and are not truly friends. Good luck though!

Sorry, I didn't know you were 6 ft. You're probably not fat. But a 36 in waist probably isn't ideal either. If you dont have a six pack then you're probably not to ideal anyways. And treadmills can go up to 15mph sometimes. But if 30 minutes at a slow pace is easy for you, then do it. Up the speed/distance until you can just barly complete 2-4 miles. Good luck!