cbfan

sirhcorg, I don't think many people you're age understand all the facets of love. Don't get me wrong, you can have you're heart broken, you can really care for someone. But it MAYBE that what you're feeling really isn't the love that a 32 year old would have for example. Yours MAYBE an immature still growing notion of love. Hell! The love I have may not even be the love someone in their 30s would have. The reason all you're friends wen't from love to sex relationships is because it was never really love in the first place. The guys all wanted the sex and the girls wanted some to have a deep emotional attachment with. Let me tell you that at least among my friends, we don't worry about having sex-only relationships. It becomes more and more about love as you grow older. People stop caring about trying to get sex and they concentrate on finding a genuine love-bond. So in a couple of years, id say you won't be worrying about having a sex-only relationship. Actually I can't think of anyone that I know who is having a sex-only relationship. But it's good you see that love is not sex. But if you don't want to lose her then why have sex at all? I know. Easier said than done. Good luck.

No it wont! 1-2 inches inside doesn't mean anything. you're fingers would of been there anyways. And her clit isn't even inside. 13!!! My gosh. What's going on with kids these days. I used to play super Nintendo, not play doctor! Army it's good your getting "lucky" and all, but there are a million reasons why you shouldn't make sex a regular occurrence at your age.

The ideal case would be that your brain is so saturated by you're love for your SO that you learn to love it--like an aquired taste. I think women best in bed are the ones so turned on by pleasing their men that they learn to love whatever it is he wants. They take something they really didn't like--like swallowing--and turn it into something they love simply because they're SO loves it. That's the kind of man I want to be: A real man, who learns to enjoy what their lover wants, simply becasue they want to make them happy. Yes you are lucky that you two are compatable in this way. But don't make it sound like you've solved this problem. You've just described your situation which was lucky, that's all. Well it depends on the reason. But if you want it real bad and he just "doesn't like the taste" I would say he really doesn't care for you like he should. I'm sure there are stupider reasons. Is there ANY reason that he can give which makes him seem just a tad on the selfish side? Are all reasons completely acceptable? Such excuses such as, "I don't like the taste" are comical to me. You're saying, in effect, "I know that I can give you a lot of pleasure by doing this because you enjoy it so much (not you particullarly maggie), but I don't care for the taste so I'm not going to do it" Sounds a little selfish doesn't it? And if I correctly quote a quote in the book "Why we Love," "Selfishness is the anti-love". Love is about sacrifice. And sacrificing one's taste buds for you're lover's pleasure doesn't seem much of a sacrifice at all. But maybe you should answer the question. If your bf REALLY REALLY loved this, and he got soooo much plasure out of it. I mean he really likes it, that's why he keeps asking if you would do it. Would you do it for him? Couldn't you get over this being "grossed out" feeling for him? After all you can give him A WHOLE LOT of pleasure. AS always it depends on the circumstance. I really don't know what "grossed out" means for you. But you know a lot of girls do it anyways for the same reason. But if you couldn't do this, do you really think you still love him to the same degree? But while you're thinking about that, think about this too: No one will ever master the art of being you're lover's best lover until you learn to fulfill their desires. If your bf broke up with you and met another girl exactly like you in every way but she swallowed (and assume that he really liked it--but you can use any other example besides swallowing) suddenly she is the better lover. I would venture to say that the more limitations a man/woman puts up in bed, generally the more selfish they are in real life.

Hey Birdie. What if the guy you were with thought it was gross that you swallowed, and wouldn't let you? How would that make you feel? I know you're going to say, "I love him, so I wouldn't do it for him." But you also LOVE swallowing too right? Maybe you can understand where I'm coming from, if you haven't already. Some women are frustrated when men don't go down on them. (I love it, and would hate to have that taken away from me.) Maybe these women can understand where a guy is coming from and not say something like, "What's the big deal with swallowing?" In the SAME way that it would be disappointing if a guy didn't let you swallow, it is disappointing TO SOME GUYS when girls don't swallow. I hope you understand this. And the stronger the desire the worse the disappointment. What if someone banned oral sex all together? What if they really didn't care for sex so much (maybe after time has passed) that they would only allow it once a week? once a month? How would that make you feel? Should you respect their desires and not force them to have sex with you? I don't know if I even have answers to that one. Let's see if I can make this analysis more rigorous. I'd like to say that these are prescriptive (SHOULD do) rather than descriptive (what happens) rules, but I don't know. 1) The more unusual the desire the less the person should accommodate their lover. Expecting your SO to let you have sex with them once in a while isn't wrong. Expecting them to let you engage in necrophilia is wrong. Expecting oral isn't wrong (or is it?). Expecting swallowing is pushing it. 2) The more the desire the more one should accommodate. If he RATIONALLY has an EXTREME PENCHANT for her to swallow, and she's just worried about the taste then she should accommodate. If she UTTERLY DESPISES swallowing and it makes her gag and he only has a thing for it, he should accommodate her. And one last thing to note. People say things like, "It doesn't mean he/she loves you any less." But at the moment I want to say that--DEPENDING ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES/REASONS--it really does. Men and women who make up stupid excuses "I don't like the taste" (for men going down on girls too!) and don't bite the bullet once in a while for their SOs really don't love them as much. AT THE MOMENT this seems blatantly obvious to me. I would say that if you don't want to go down on you're girl because of the taste or it grosses (you may have other reasons) you out your not a true man (you're overly selfish) and you really don't really care for her at the highest of levels. And I would ALMOST say the same thing to women who don't swallow, but there's a difference between licking down there and swallowing someone elses bodily fluid. Just thinking that the world would be a better place if all the women swallowed and all the men wen't down on their girls 4 times a day . cbfan

Oh by the way. For those that are interested (like the the 1000 odd that took this poll The answer is here(as accurate internet polls can be): link removed 22.) How often do you swallow when giving head? Always, Love the taste (32%) Soemtimes, depending on my mood (32%) Never, don't like the taste (14%) Always, I love turning hom on that way (11%) Never, I would rather spit. (8%) here link removed If yes to the previous question, do you allow him to ejackulate in your mouth Yes I love the way he taste and like to savor the flavor for a few minutes befor (33%) No I think it's discusting (27%) Yes but swallow quickly to avoid a lingering taste in my mouth (26%) Yes but I spit it out ASAP (12%) 562 total votes link removed 10c.) When giving oral, do you? swallow (34%) depends on my mood (22%) Spit (15%) swallow sometimes (13%) spit sometimes (6%) depends on the taste (6%) 86 total votes link removed yes, she loves it. 39 41.05% no, she hates it. 37 38.95% yes, but she still hates it. 19 20.00% link removed Do you swallow your partner's ejaculate/vaginal excretions? a) Yes, every time 32.2% (677 Votes) b) Yes, but not all the time 23.6% (498 Votes) e) No, I don't let my partner ejaculate into my mouth 17.7% (373 Votes) c) Yes, but I try to avoid it 11.9% (252 Votes) d) No, I spit it out 8% (169 Votes) f) No, I never give my partner oral sex 6.3% (133 Votes) Total Votes: 2102 link removedentry489623 What do you do with semen after oral sex? Spit it out quick to get rid of the nasty stuff [ 3 ] [4.55%] Spit it out and play with it in some way [ 3 ] [4.55%] Swallow as quickly as possible [ 21 ] [31.82%] Swallow after playing with it in some way [ 12 ] [18.18%] Give it back to my partner by kissing [ 4 ] [6.06%] I don't let my partner come in my mouth [ 7 ] [10.61%] It all depends on how I feel at the time [ 16 ] [24.24%] Total Votes: 66

Hi CBFan You need to check the meaning of disngenuous. Well if we are both talking about DisIngenuous then why? To prove that I was correct . Maybe we're thinking differently somehow?

maggie18, It would ONLY be a deal breaker if she had other problems giving too. I've always said they're are two types of views when it comes to sex. 1) You both respect each others limits. 2) You both would do things that you might not like to please the other person. Both people can be type 1, or both can be type 2. But it seems a little unfair to have a type 1 and type 2 together. Some would say that it doesn't mean you don't love them any less if you don't go down on them/swallow for them. But to me it really seems like you don't. True love is loving someone more than you love yourself. You see I used to have the problem going down on a girl. I didn't like the taste. I'm not talking about inability, but not trying something just because it grosses you out--espically when you love that person--smacks of callowness. But then I realized this the hard way. Two type 2 relationships are more loving, and lead happier lives. But to answer your question again. I would be ok with that. I mean love is the ultimate deal breaker--you can do anything for true love. But at the same time I will do anything for my true love--whether or not I like it--becasue her happiness is what matters to me most at the end of the day. Yes even if it means no swallowing. Now doesn't that selflessness sound like the truest of loves?

LOL Stop Stop!!! Males shut the **** up! LOL You're right I wanted a females perspective. I'm going to try this again someday and I want the guys to shutup.

Ok Gilgamesh now calm down. I want you to reread my post. I wasn't atacking you at all. Seriously. Or maybe they just like it I didn't say this. Where did I say this? Relax man. I do accept these reasons. I argree and believe EVERYTHING you just wrote (except for the alien thing . Alright Gilgamesh. Let me apoligize. I think we got off on the wrong foot here. Right before this post I was about to post how I respect your opinion and that you have a lot of smart things to say. Actually let me read it for you: I was being scharchastic. How do you know? That's that the little means. But even if you didn't catch that then: Why would I be defending what you just said (blold) or complementing your position (bold italics) if I was atacking you. Listen, I don't know how this happened. I apoligize to you Gilgamesh. I don't know why you think I'm atacking you.

Personally, because I'm curious. But how about: -It's a fetish of mine. -Because some guys like to know (It is discussed in the first chapter of "How to give your woman" absolute pleasure.) -Sociological Study. -Because in general people are curious about it (It's way above average post/reply based on post age.) Need I go on? Disingenuous? I don't see how. I've been nothing but honest and frank the entire time.

See I think you're trying to sugar coat it. I agree completely with what you just said. But you're not simplifing anything. The problem is: Any determinism means that there's no free will and you can't be guilty for "sinning". You just admited that "you have no choice but to follow it", i.e. there is no free will. You're not "simplifying" anything. You're accepting the fact that there is no free will and living life anyways. That's COMPLETELY ok, but don't make it sound like your video game analogy removes the above problem, just say: "There is no free will, but I'm still going to live my life."

just my opinion.... but I do. I think humans are innately selfish--hence why it's important to me. But these selfish desires can be trumped by other considerations such as true love. I've seen your posts Gilgamesh, and I question such unflinching altruism. I think based on all these--what psychologists call--"reaction responses" that you've been hurt pretty bad in the past. But hey I could be wrong, but I'll just read any defence as denial . But you do make me feel very guilty (I know it's not your intention). Is it wrong for me to want something in a relationship (not that you're saying this exactly)? Shouldn't I just want to love my wife with all I am for the rest of my life? Isn't that the strongest of loves? You've got me thinking though. But I'd appreciate it if someone want's to talk about this, to start a new thread. I'm still wondering about the swallowing thing from WOMEN not MEN (looking at you Gilgamesh .

Situation: In love, married, guy in perfect health, doesn't smoke and he goes down on you EVERYTIME and loves making you happy. Question: Would you swallow at least 33% of the time (like Sex 3 times a week for example, swallow once) I'm being specific so I don't get any. "It all depends" type posts. I want yes/no answers and maybe the reason if "no" (taste, etc.) Thanks ladies!

But don't you see that these list of decisions mean nothing. People want choice. Having a choice means having both options are possible. Not having a choice means that in no way would you have chosen one of the options. So I don't deny you have decisions. But it doesn't matter much does it? So you gave the OPTIONS of chocolate or strawberry under the semblance of free will. But your sister HAD to choose strawberry, for the reasons I gave (god's foreknowledge/physical determinism). So we have different notions of choice. But clearly a choice that is predetermined is not much of a choice at all

spun maybe right but there's a good chance he's wrong. You know that she doesn't love you if she leaves you for this reason, but that doesn't mean she wont "find herself". Search the forums. you have NO IDEA how often this happens. Did she date a lot before you? Did she have a lot of long term relationshiops. One that comes to mind is an older man and a younger woman. He started dating her when she was really young. She left the older guy because she wanted to experience other things. The guy let her go and said, you'll be back, it's really not all that great out there. Sure enough she was the one in these forums saying. "He was right. I left him because I wanted to enjoy my college life, but the grass wasn't greener on the other side." The point is that as long as you acknowldege that she doesn't really love you all the way. This may be very good for her when she meets all the other jerks. But I do suggest NC. Don't be her friend when she's doing this. Be nice, but let her realize that the cruel dating world is full of losers and then shell come running back. So i stress again: you MUST earn respect from her, distance yourself You can date now too. Do you konw what the dating world is like? Maybe you need to grow some too. Work on yourself and who knows you may not even want her back in the end. I don't know. You should keep what spun said in mind but don't worry too much. I take all "I know it sounds harsh" posts with a grain of salt. When you read them enough you see that the posters usually don't see the other side in the same way that those blinded by hope don't see the other side. Don't delude yourself make sure you understand that she may be playing you. But just because she wanted to make sure she's making the right choice with you doesn't mean that she's playing you.