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Thread: Caught bf on tinder/dating apps

  1. #1

    Caught bf on tinder/dating apps

    Hello all, so basically today i was on my bf 's (m22) mac helping him with something and i noticed his photo album on there, and i clicked it, and he had screenshots of girls from tinder. he specifically screenshot their ig/sc usernames. he never followed any of them (and no he doesn't have a fake acc, i snooped already lol).
    Backstory:
    When quarantine started in late March, I felt something "off" about him. He was very unavailable. I would text him, and recevie a one-word responde 10 hours later. I called him to talk, he never picked up or bothered to call back. This depressed me. I felt like I was losing my head, because nothing was wrong, yet everything was wrong. There came a point when I got tired of checking my phone for his response. I got tired of the sleepless nights wondering why he was ghosting me so casually.
    I didn't speak to him for 6 days. I didn't text him, nor did I reply to his "what's up". He never followed up. I knew the moment I replied to "what's up" it would be another 10 hours before his response.
    So I didn't speak to him for 6 days.
    The screenshots he had of tinder ranged from March 22-April 7. This was right around when I stopped talking to him. We talked again April 15.
    I can only assume the reason he stopped his emotional cheating was because I stopped talking to him for so long.
    He can be so perfect sometimes. But then he does crap like this.
    In the past, he's used tinder and apps like bumble, etc to make friends, but I asked him nicely to stop doing that. He promised he deleted the apps.
    I haven't seen anything from this month.
    It looks as if he had a 2-3 week excursion.
    Idk what to do, i've been crying a lot.

    What bugs me most, is when I caught him I confronted him about it. And he was so casual.. he denied doing anything... he continued playing his video games like nothing major had just happened. He didn't care.. he was a little quiet too. I know he knows he's guilty. Does he even care??
    I went home early after catching him and he hasn't texted me since. He said that we'll talk tomorrow.I haven't contacted him either.

    What should I do? How should I go about this?

    TL;DR - boyfriend caught on tinder. he stopped about a month ago. idk what to do. when I caught him I confronted him about it, he was so casual.. he denied doing anything... he continued playing his video games like nothing major had just happened. He didn't care.. he was a little quiet too. I know he knows he's guilty. Does he even care??
    I went home early after catching him and he hasn't texted me since. He said that we'll talk tomorrow.I haven't contacted him either.What should I do? How should I go about this?

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Just be done . Donít give the time of day to cheaters.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Unless you want to play Detective along with putting him on a leash, what's there to talk about? I'd tell him you're moving on, wish him the best and block him from all means of communication. Keep in mind that the best indicator of future behaviour, is past behaviour.

    He's demonstrated what he's all about, therefore it looks like a matter of what you see is what you get. Hopefully you'll make the right choice.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    Unless you want to play Detective along with putting him on a leash, what's there to talk about? I'd tell him you're moving on, wish him the best and block him from all means of communication.
    This, in a nutshell.

    That said, can I ask how long you've been together? You referred to this coming up "in the past," and I'm wondering at what juncture of your romance that past occurred in, I supposed.

    But all in all: you know, clear as day, who you are dating. Is this really what you want?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Without trust and communication there can be no healthy relationship. Your relationship is dead. Imo, you need to think long and hard why you are staying with someone who ignores you and cheats on you. Why aren't these deal breakers for you and what does this say about your relationship values and self-esteem?

  7. #6
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    Time to break up! He sounds like a total jerk. He's a cheater and he doesn't even feel bad about it! This is who he really is. And he just blatantly ignores you even though you're meant to be a couple! I think he's completely checked out of this relationship and he's looking for other girls.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    No, he doesn't care. Treat yourself with more respect. This person doesn't know how to treat others. It's a bit disturbing. Can you think of yourself in the future with a person who makes you cry all the time?

    You can start with taking a couple of steps back, being kind to yourself, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself this just one man out of many and one drop in an ocean. All the things he means to you is one moment in time and there are many, many moments in your lifetime to come.

    Take that step back and look big picture. He's not the biggest thing that will ever happen to you. One day you will look back and laugh at how small of an impact he's made on your life because you'll see him for what he really is in your rearview mirror - hardly anything at all.

  9. #8
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    How many times does he have to do this before you are gone. He does not care!

    I cannot fathom why you continue with this cheating crerp!

  10. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I cannot fathom why you continue with this cheating crerp!
    Hahah! I love this. It's really that simple. Don't date 'crerps'!

    Whenever someone shows you that he is a crerp, that becomes something that you can never UNknow, and you can do nothing to UNmake him a crerp.

    So? Leave him alone, raise your bar, and only date people who are not crerps.

  11. #10
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    Well, you nailed it, OP - he doesn't care.

    There's nothing to work with here anymore. Your relationship is already over in all but name.

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