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Rose Mosse

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Everything posted by Rose Mosse

  1. Was the previous man who rejected you also emotionally unavailable? You may be repeating patterns. He hasn't left you much of a choice because you remind him too much of his ex. I think you have to really believe this and take his word for it because it sounds extremely uncomfortable as all heck. You both tried each other for rebounds and the transition period expired. It was temporary. This only ended much sooner than you anticipated and is probably very jolting for you. Meeting him in this country also allowed you to live out an extended vacation of sorts despite working and it cushioned the blow of really processing the previous rejection from the first guy. This man lives here so while you are coming in on a work visa, his life is firmly rooted here and the reality of the rebound situation has hit him a lot faster than it has you. It can't last forever. What's stopping you from settling in this country and learning the local language? You don't need a man for that. Do it on your own terms.
  2. You won't if you continue on this trajectory. Try changing the way you keep framing this one incident. You saw her on a dating app by chance and had some mixed feelings. This is very natural and nothing to fight over or struggle with. It is painful, it is awkward, it is uncomfortable but it is also human. Once you start reframing the way you think and the less importance you start to place on these hiccups the less of a hold your ex will have on you. She doesn't dictate what you can and cannot do going forward. You move forward on your own terms and leave room for awkward situations or unexpected scenarios like this. Think: You may bend but you do not break. Keep your chin up.
  3. I read your post as humbling and inspiring. I think you have a great drive to succeed and your desire to make money can be translated actually to a desire for more security. That is not a shameful thing to want or strive for. You need more organization in your endeavours though. Think through your paths carefully. I'm sensing that you are uncertain about learning or working as an analyst or with risk. Perhaps it's an uncertain area and you are new at it. That is why you're a bit nervous and searching to add HR to the mix. You don't have to stop what you are doing and you might already have a map in your mind of how all of these elements come together eventually for you one day. When you are a bit more organized you will also find focus. When I was tired and feeling burnt out at some points in my career, I thought most about what bought me security and peace of mind, my financial independence and what I hoped for myself or my family. You can plan for those things also and map out what all these tools in your toolbox are meant to be, gain more momentum and continue your pursuits that way. Have a grand plan and move forward with it even if it takes several years or a few extra steps. You are fortunate to have family to help and support you also.
  4. Is it the norm for socials like this to be a place where young couples can potentially meet or for singles to meet each other? At a previous church I went to (pre-Covid) I know there were gatherings for young parishioners to meet other singles and it was ok to talk to different people with the intent to meet to date. If it's acceptable, that should be ok but if it's not the norm, I'd avoid doing this or assuming that others are there with an open mind for romance, so to speak. Good luck either way and have fun.
  5. Do you know if he loves you? If you know, it doesn't matter whether he says it or not. It's a lot of emphasis on words. Move if you want to move, say whatever you need to say but don't expect it in return. You're bogged down by so many idealisms, social norms (why on earth does he have to say it first?) and expectations and it is so terribly heavy and burdensome. Most of all, pay attention to your instincts. If you think he's hung up about the past and still scared or terrified about his ex-issues, dump him! You don't take that on for anyone. I hope you find a solution that works for you but please always trust your instincts.
  6. Please do not tell her your feelings. Ask her out on a date instead as mentioned above. I hope the meeting goes well and have fun.
  7. He sounds more interested in himself than the either of you, to be honest. Ie. How far he can get with two women who are friends. An ego boost and possibly even a turn on.
  8. Let's say he returned your snaps and messages and he was more intimate with you, while with his girlfriend. Would this turn you on.. or off? There's not much you can do about a crush or your feelings to make it go away but you do have a choice in how you wish to act or behave so be kind to yourself and acknowledge the way you feel (stop fighting it so much) and let it be. Don't act on it either because nothing good will come of it. He appears happy in his relationship and it's doubtful he has anything against you so brush yourself off. Consider him off limits and reconsider if anyone were to act differently. You should have your alarm bells going off if he started getting closer to you while in a relationship with someone else. You already know about boundaries so put them into practice but do be a lot kinder to yourself and don't beat yourself up over this.
  9. I didn't mean to stop posting on your blog. That's your hobby and your interest. You shouldn't have to give that up for anyone if that's what you like to do. But definitely resist the urge to respond to her, check up on her or reply to anything rude that she has for you on her page or wherever she's going off like a loose cannon. Avoid individuals who have this many issues in the first place online, offline, wherever. It's not worth the headache. You're in med school so wishing you the best of luck with this long journey. It's well worth it, I hear. There's so much else going for you.
  10. Honestly - so what about her trauma. Everyone has challenges and issues they need to work with. It doesn't give a person a license to be rude and damaging to others. She's a drag and you need to move on, get away from the PC and don't give in to the bs with the blogs. Blogging should be fun, inspiring, all the good things that got you in it to start with - not all this complete drivel and mindless waste of time insulting each other indirectly. If she keeps insulting your person and calling you negative things, shut down any communication. You are very attached to someone you hardly know in reality. Give yourself time to adjust and get back to your own swing of things and routine and shrug this off.
  11. Respond neutrally and professionally. If you see some nugget of wisdom in there in the diatribe, only respond to the work-related issue at hand. Ie. "Yes, I'll correct that. Thank you." is sufficient. Ignore everything else and document the behaviour.
  12. Yes, I agree with the above. Please don't worry about this unless it's affecting your relationship with your partner. You're struggling too much. Let it be and let it pass. I'm glad you're happy.
  13. I'm sorry to hear this. I love the bold part. Stick to these uplifting and inspiring things in your life and avoid the online drama with the blogging. This is where you start to realize that venting about your emotions is no longer healthy, especially where you're passive aggressively attacking someone publicly or on an online platform. Both of you can avoid that. You can't control what she does however but you have every control over what you do, what you write, what you review, what you look at and what kinds of influences you bring in and the kinds of support you use. She overreacted, imo, about the detail and your past ex. You both sound very insecure about yourselves as people, your pasts and past hurts. I don't know how old you are but give yourself more time to grow, know that feeling insecure now is part and parcel of everything and give everything a pinch of salt. If someone hurts you it is not the end of the world. You only have to make sure that you don't stick around for more nonsense and pain. Learn from any mistakes and brush yourself off. It doesn't matter what she's checking or not. Never ever let someone else's negative reactions stop you from being who you are. If you choose to censor or eliminate private matters from your posts, let that be a decision you make because of who you are. I hope this gives you some faith and you find your confidence and voice again.
  14. Fabulous! I'm so happy for you. Enjoy the movies.
  15. It looks painful. I hope you find some relief soon.
  16. I do not ask questions and expect honesty from someone I suspect of being dishonest. You will be shooting yourself in the foot, wondering if you asked it right or if there's something wrong with you instead. The only game you are playing is with yourself in the end. Trust your instincts. If he's shady, dump him. It's only two/three months. Also, see your doctor to get checked for STDs after you end this. I would not continue seeing this person. This early, if you're getting all kinds of red flags like this, do not even hesitate to move on.
  17. You're posting in the Breaking Up Advice section with a title that says "I Need Closure". Others are offering their thoughts because you "need closure". If you don't need closure anymore and are happy enjoying your life with this person, by all means. Wishing you the best with this.
  18. It sounds like you two have an arrangement then and the original question was answered. In some languages there are different ways of saying I love you. It may not be as deep as you think but go with it if you enjoy each others' company. You said you were not local to this area. It's only a month so take your time and have fun.
  19. I'm sorry this lost package dredged up all this hurt and family issue. You didn't intend for all this to come up and are hurt but you're busy with your father. The package isn't really an issue so no one is holding anything hostage. You can talk with Amazon about the lost package, have them reimburse you and reorder it to your address. Be more careful and delete your daughter's address in your settings/list of addresses if you don't want this to happen again. Record the address somewhere else in an email to yourself or save it somewhere else but not on your Amazon account. She's probably bitter, resentful, busy and frustrated over her own situation. Thinking people are out to get you is the most draining and useless waste of time and life ever. Try not to go that way. Shake yourself off and go for a walk or think of something else to do. Don't send anyone else any more texts about the missing package. It's your problem, not anyone else's. You're making it worse turning this into yourself or the package. People have other worries on their mind. I hope things get sorted and both of you repair the relationship eventually. It definitely won't come from texting or having others fix your lost package issue.
  20. A lot of people are feeling like you so it's not out of the ordinary. Have you gotten vaccinated or do you plan to? It didn't stop me from meeting friends (outdoors) or enjoying other activities outside with others. It depends where you are and how well the restrictions are lifting. I enjoyed a lot of the time on my own and also had interactions with friends and family.
  21. Send out your resume to more than one competitor or organization in your industry. Good luck!
  22. I can't relate to your anxiety that seems to persist. I have had anxious periods, very stressful periods in my life, but never a pervasive anxiousness that persists like this. I don't think there's any shame at all in seeking professional opinion and speaking with your doctor or seeking therapy. When I read about the way the both of you are dating, it seems stifling and too much too soon. This may be age talking because I far more prefer the comforts of my own home than spending it any anyone else's place. Also, quality of quantity. That means quality of time spent together rather than quantity of hours. I've never been sentimental about sleeping with another person. It gets in the way of my mornings and I like to be up and about. My ex knew that about me so he'd often wake up to an empty bed and house and I would come back later in the day and we'd enjoy the days together if he had a day off. Sometimes I'd stay but it was rare. This probably didn't work for him in the long run although I was totally fine being on my own for half the day. I think eventually both of you will come to a compromise that works and leaves room for your other interests and hobbies, seeing a professional about how to quell those thoughts or find the right tools as others have said. I'm really happy for you that you've found someone special also. That's something to be positive about.
  23. She shouldn't be sleeping over at your place each time. It's the same routine and it becomes stale. Give yourself more room to breathe. This is so new and early and yet seems stifling so fast.
  24. I wouldn't respond. Just keep blocking all the random numbers. There's some mental health issue there if someone has to exert his or herself to these lengths. Don't give that person any reason to contact you again. This isn't a form of endearment and it doesn't mean he misses you. It's manipulative and controlling and he likely wants the attention from you because that's what he needs to feel good about himself. If you are strong and assertive, he can't get what he needs from you (your dependency on him and validation). He seeks it elsewhere. If he feels he has lost you permanently, he also feels lost because he is dependent on you to validate him. Leave him alone.
  25. Yes, of course. Send out your resume and start searching now. I hope that things work out with the new job search.
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