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Coily

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  1. More Gaslighting than Victorian London! Run as fast as you can from this, then jump into a sports car and go faster!
  2. Honestly this sounds like a neighbor in my neighborhood. It has to do with being lonely and needing some human interactions, nothing to do with dating or even really being friends. This guy sounds isolated, so yeah he is doing odd things like looking at people outside; since maybe he can't himself. OP you seem to be looking for motivations that just don't seem to match up with the what we've been told. If you don't enjoy conversing then don't invite him or out on a date by any means, but also don't ascribe motivations that aren't evident.
  3. Clearly you need to rent a giant penis costume and follow Viv around asking "if this is okay?" Seriously though, if in your shoes I was still considering the hen party and you're willing to drop a a little for straws etc, just send a list to R and to hades with Viv. Viv sounds like she's a control freak who either wants to be the hero of the moment or some puritanical weirdo. As to Ceremony vs reception, I have been to two that were that way. They had a limited budget for food, so only invited a small handful of people for the reception, and it was really just a meal not a big shindig. But either way it's up to you if you want to spend your time on any of this.
  4. Ah good ol' Museum drama, had my fill of it once upon a time, the gears always turn slower. It sounds like this <your favorite insult> is digging her own grave with a steam shovel. I would not be surprised if the Executive Director has been noticing a trend from work place performances, and observations. If my previous experiences with that sort of data collection bear on this, he and the rest of the higher ups want her gone with cause. In order to make it improbable for her to sue the museum, which she seems vindictive ans shortsighted enough to try. Keep Pressing on!
  5. Here for the saucy comments, was not disappointed. (Pun intended.)
  6. Echoing other sentiments here, block this woman from all social media, block her phone, remove any temptation on your part for contact, and print a copy of your above statement just in case she goes full weird. This woman is in a toxic state and could wreck your life if you continue contact in any form.
  7. In short absolutely not normal. Many have touched on possibly whys of how you keep finding these guys, and putting up with abhorrent behavior. I want to ask, do you tend to find self value in being in a relationship? Do you have a tendency to not want to be on your own? Women I know who hate being single, to the point they make poor choices in who they date, often end up with the same type of guy with different window dressing. Only when they take time off dating, and look at the freindzoned guys (though rarely date those guys) do they shuffle the deck. I'm curious as to what attracts you to these guys?
  8. I think the real question you have to ask yourself is what do you think will change about who you are and who you want to be as you get older? If it is having kids then age is a consideration. But for everything else, that's really a state of mind. People age physically and emotionally different, I have friends in their 50s who are fit active and look to be in their late 30s. So don't get hung up on a number defining you and your interests.
  9. Clearly her BF has "envy issues." Ha This is really on them for showing up in the backyard unannounced, she knew that you were in the buff. Kind of the old knock before you enter a room protocols. So let her take the steps to make amends; and if this is the moment that breaks a friendship of that long, then that's on her.
  10. I once was in his position, about 29 when I lost my virginity soo here's my two cents. I felt really awkward about being a late bloomer, so we decided to take a day together to hang out. Prior to the big date (un planned conclusion) we chatted a lot, and she asked a few questions about things that turned me on. We started out and slowly escalated, we had other things to do through out the day. I was beginning to feel my oats and took a bit of charge, when I wasn't sure she guided me. It was an amazing night. So I would say ask a few leading flirty questions from time to time. Ask if him about his turn ons, see if that's something you like too. When you two are ready be reassuring, take charge when he isn't sure. Down play if you have a bland experience, boost his confidence a bit. But most importantly work on the relationship, that for me was the best part. This will be his first time getting hit with those bonding hormones, so consider that in post fun times. Sounds like you are onto someone good, best of luck!
  11. I say stage a "daring commando raid" by visiting your sister at an inopportune time, say at 3AM without your mother. Maybe not a great idea, but maybe you should just bail on the whole trip? Work suddenly called you in, or your boyfriend decided to take up underwater basket weaving and the week of vacation is the only time he can practice. Or more simply put, if the sudden change in timing is upsetting your apple cart then you may want to wriggle out of it, even if the wriggling is blatant.
  12. You were an asset he could use for his self image. So that meant you were arm candy for him, a tool for his use. His actions prove the relationship was about use, so like a car or hammer you meant something to him. But you as a person, just as interchangeable as the next. Sorry if that's a little harsh, but I have seen people like a few times too often. The target of their affection affliction would try to make sense of it; when the reality seems to be that to a narcissist, people are just tools.
  13. Yikes. This guy has no interest in having a family. He is basically living without consequence of his actions, and never getting told no. He needs to grow up or get out.
  14. Sorry you didn't get in, but this could be an opportunity to challenge yourself in other ways. You could embrace a less than perfect University environment as the world past education is more about you thriving for yourself. You could consider the "less" glamorous community college route, stay closer to home, and knock out the required courses faster and cheaper. Possibly work for a semester and apply for admission in the winter. The feeling of being left behind or left out really sucks, but you may have been given a golden opportunity to carve your own path and bring more to the table for your education.
  15. The only thing I can imagine IF your BF is capable of thinking in his pathetic state is that this fight might get him in hot water with HR. But that's a terrible excuse to allow encourage continuing dirty dancing on his part. He needs a wake up call that this behavior and lack of boundaries is destroying his existing relationship. And will get him what exactly? Fired most likely. This woman <insert insult of your liking> is doing this for power and control in the workplace. You are also feeding her self inflated ego by "hugging it out" with that kitchen incident. All in all if you want to keep a relationship with your BF, he needs to set boundaries. You both probably should stop the hanging out with colleagues as a crutch for social outlets.
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