Jump to content


Gold Member
  • Posts

  • Joined

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Coily's Achievements

Rising Star

Rising Star (9/14)

  • Dedicated Rare
  • Reacting Well Rare
  • Very Popular Rare
  • First Post
  • Collaborator

Recent Badges



  1. Something to take into account with his overly complimentary behavior is how many long term relationships has he had? Some guys who aren't very experienced, and I speak from having done this accidentally, will over compliment as they want to make sure you know they are really into you. Unless you communicate your discomfort with compliments being laid on so thick they won't know how off putting it is. If he won't ease off then you know he's up to more than just compliments. Focus on communication first, and go from there.
  2. This woman is horrific for your life/esteem/dignity, the quicker you cut her grasping controlling ways out of your life the better you will be for it. Especially since you have a child with an ex, and she gets affronted by you getting information about your child!
  3. @Bz77 Your good friends will still listen, they may steer you towards other topics, but they'll always listen. It's good you are seeing the fractures in the longevity of the relationship; don't rush it, just process a chunk at a time. As for the items he still has, unless they are of particular personal value or cost probably best to let them go; also any gifts are just that. You could ask for them back, but do the exchange with a friend doing a bulk of it.* I would block him and remove him from all social media, close every path of communication, since as you said he will be doing it for selfish reasons. Unless you have a fiscal, familial, or contractual obligation to someone, you owe them nothing. People like that have to want to change, and that usually takes a shock to their system.
  4. Some women are very open. That said if you are interested in her just be up front as to your intentions and see where things go!
  5. She is definitely friendly, so that could be all. However on the lighter side, if the two of you haven't spent a lot one on one time and are practically strangers ( I presume) her guy friend may just be there as a just in case. All in all I would take her up on the offer of a meal, and also express your intent as soon as you are comfortable. I wish you the best outcome!
  6. It's natural to second guess/play what IF with yourself after a break up, we've all done it. I went on a wild hare vacation after a break up, so I think you need to find an outlet that is healthy for you. Some people have written and then shredded letters to an ex, some go on internal reflection tours about what they value, and some just go to trusted friends vent about everything. In short it will take some effort and some time to heal from this, but you don't have to ball it up inside. One thing I do when I start getting lonely over an Ex, is rather than focus on who I'm missing I focus on lessons learned from that failure; it is really hard when it's a fresh break up. Wishing you well!
  7. OP, with all the mess that this relationship has been, it seems that you should take some time for yourself and focus on the world right in front of you. Sadly this guy doesn't see the value in you that you saw in him, it happens far too often. You mentioned taking on more responsibilities with work now would be a good time to us that as an outlet while you care for yourself. Hopefully you can find someone who values you and your efforts in a relationship.
  8. On one hand I can understand his desire to have a kid so he can be young enough to raise them, BUT this level of pressure and manipulation leads me to believe he would be happy with any womb he can control. You are just a vessel for his offspring, no a partner who he loves. Him expressing interest in moving you away from family in such a capricious way is troubling, sounds like he wants to isolate you from your support system intentionally. Nothing good comes from that mentality. Run from this baby crazy guy.
  9. That's been bugging me too. New user, all posts on the one thread, and every post is either a defense of the abusive girlfriend or demeaning the OP in some way. Also a lot of gaslighting towards everyone, just very suspicious or a bad troll.
  10. Wanting to change someone this early is a bad sign. Best to let them be comfortable with who they are, and you move on to someone who isn't a project.
  11. While his actions are pretty immature and dishonest, the more troubling question is why are you policing his online activity? When that level of trust is breached the relationship is over. If your main motivation to spy and intrude is your insecurity, please address that for future relationships.
  12. I agree with others, avoid the dorm and the bed! Do you have bowling, or pool, or some semi competitive activity you both can enjoy? Take her for a walk afterwards, get to know her interests. If you are thinking of her beyond a romp, figure out what you two enjoy and build some memories.
  13. Have you considered looking into other cuts of pants? If my brief research is anywhere close to correct (ha), it looks like most modern pants are cut to ride on that sacral pad. Oddly enough it might be worth looking into some early 20th century pants, they rise higher in the back and wear differently.
  14. Next she'll tell you she's never hit an ex with a car. Or swung at them with a pointy object. You need to ask yourself, where will she draw the abuse line? Realistic answer, nowhere.
  15. The way I'm seeing it is that you , OP, broke the initial trust in the relationship and kept on doing it. She escalated it with the Apps and surveillance. Then she decided to top it off rather than leave, she would become physically abusive. This is textbook domestic violence, and if you don't get out now things will escalate. I think she chose porn as an easy way to get to this level of abuse as it's addictive and easy for her to justify her violence with others. You need to get out, maybe get some help for your porn habits.
  • Create New...