MikeB12

Thanks again all, much appreciated! I did read one post suggesting maybe trying to reconnect with her over coffee or something. Not to "explain myself" because I truly didn't do anything wrong. But maybe just as a low key type thing to try and reconnect? I suppose at this point it's probably worth a shot. My goal was not to have anything physical happen heading into the date and all that did was a few kisses.

Thanks for the feedback all! Haven't had a chance to respond to each post yet but I appreciate all feedback, good and bad. Just an update. I got a text from her late last night (I was sleeping). The text read: "Good evening. Unfortunately I can't seem to get past it. Best of luck in love" ("It" being the kiss) I have not responded at this point and may not at all. While I appreciate that she did give me some closure (I guess), I still feel it's a raw deal and I don't know why she is taking zero accountability for the kiss

@Wiseman2 thank you! It's been difficult because it was a really awesome date (I know she would agree) and we tentatively had made plans during the date to see each other again now I feel like it may be ruined over a kiss. So we'll see but yes just awaiting a reply for now

@LootieTootie we both leaned in. On the lips, not "pecks" but not like a make out session or anything. Just 4-5 solid kisses. But she was part of it of course but I feel like I'm taking the "blame" for kissing her when it goes two ways

Hello all, just looking for some friendly advice/feedback and just to vent on a recent/ongoing situation. I connected with a girl on a dating app about 2.5 weeks ago. Had some good conversation on there. We were supposed to get together the Saturday before last but she had some work commitment come up and had to reschedule. She felt really bad and passed along her number on the app. I told her no problem at all and we continued to regularly text. We finally met up Sunday (3 days ago). I am not exaggerating when I say it may have been the best first date I've had post-divorce (I've been divorced for about 6.5 years, she has been for about 4.5 years). Just really fluid conversation, lots of laughs and just kind of talked about our past and what we were looking for etc. Just a great day overall. As we got to our cars before we split off for the evening, we hugged and shared a few kisses, which I didn't think much of. It just felt right considering the great date we had. I texted her about an hour later when I got home. She thanked me for a lovely day. We didn't talk much Monday as I had a busy day and she had the day off. I did notice that evening that she had a new profile on a different dating app, which I thought the timing of that seemed kind of odd, one day after a great date. I texted her good morning yesterday (Tuesday). She said good morning back but that was about it. She texted me yesterday evening (I was asleep) saying that the kiss caught her off guard and that she usually doesn't kiss on the first date and it threw her off. I responded this morning apologizing, but said that I did have a great time and would love to hang out again (still awaiting reply). So the weird thing first off is I typically don't kiss on first dates the majority of the time either. But this was not like me making an awkward move to pull her in and kiss her or anything like that. We both were part of it. Yes, maybe I initiated it but we kissed 4-5 times and she did not pull away or anything so I didn't think much of it. Barring a positive response from her, I'm pretty bummed out now because I feel like this may be a dealbreaker. Is it unreasonable for me to be kind of irritated that I feel like I have to apologize for really doing nothing wrong? While I respect that she doesn't typically kiss on the first date, she went along with it and also it was never discussed during the date and just kind of happened. And I'm only saying this part for context, but I drove an hour to see her (accommodating her work schedule), paid for everything and bought her flowers AND the date itself was amazing (minus, apparently, the kiss lol). So I am just playing the waiting game now. Hoping for the best but bracing for the worst. I don't know. I feel like all things considered this would be a raw deal if she doesn't give me a second chance and again I didn't really do anything "wrong". Thoughts? Thanks! Mike

@Wiseman2 thank you for the feedback! Yeah it just seems weird. It's not so much that I haven't heard in a few days, it's that she unmatched me on the app so now I'm wondering if that means she's not interested. Or maybe someone else messaged her on the app and she was just "clearing out the queue" so to speak.

Hello, wondering if anyone has any advice or thoughts on this. Connected with a woman on a dating app about a month ago. Have had steady daily communication since, seen to have a lot in common etc. We have tried to meet up several times (we have not yet in person) but it has not worked out yet, mostly to her having work issues and whatnot, which is fine. Each time she has had to cancel she has been very apologetic and wants to reschedule. I told her to not be sorry at all as I know she has a lot going on with work and family visiting etc (and she even mentioned that we matched at kind of a bad time because she's so busy) We have been talking every day but at this point I have not heard from her since Wednesday morning (appx 53 hours). We were going to get together yesterday afternoon before she had a big work dinner event. Last we spoke she had to cancel because the event was apparently bigger than she thought and she'd be busy with it etc. Totally fine. So here's where I'm a bit uneasy. Like I said, we have talked basically every day for about a month via text. I noticed on the app earlier this morning that she unmatched me. Which normally wouldn't be a big deal, however, I'm a bit worried because this unmatching is in the midst of the longest communication drought we've had (albeit only a little over two days). We've had some conversations about how communication is important and how ghosting sucks, etc. The ball is kind of in her court now. I don't want to message her and overwhelm her or anything. I know she had the big work event yesterday and she has family from out of state coming in at some point today so I know she's probably really busy. I'm just feeling a little uneasy that this communication lapse comes right during the time she unmatched me on the app. Again, we haven't talked on the app since we first connected about a month ago. The timing of it just seems a little odd. Am I worried about nothing? Should I message her and try and get some clarity or let it play out because she is really busy? Thank you.

@MissCanuck. Thank you. I'm sure I won't but it's tempting. It's just insanely frustrating. SHE broke plans second date (which is totally fine, I know she was swamped with work), SHE suggested tentative plans for a makeup second date. I followed up, no response. I asked how her weekend (last weekend) was going, no response. And now I haven't heard from her for 2 weeks. AND she told me she was interested, so when I am also interested and a girl tells me that, I take her at her word. The lack of common courtesy these days is astounding

I don't think it would necessarily prompt a response (though the first time she was silent for about a week she opened up and was super apologetic for not responding.) but if nothing else would maybe get this off my chest a bit and least kind of put it in her head a bit that she's kind of in the wrong. if she's no longer interested for whatever reason, thats totally fine. But don't tell me you ARE interested and then not talk to me for two weeks because now either she either lied to me about being interested/meeting up (aka leading me on), or she's just totally blown me off. Or some combination of the two

Thanks all. It's really eating at me still, to be honest. I did unfollow her on instagram (the only social media outlet which we were connected). Part of me wants to just let it go but another part of me wants to kind of call her out a bit. And I don't mean it in like a rude or a disrespectful way. More like a "hey, haven't heard from you in a few weeks. Hope all is well. I know you're super busy and I understand that but last we talked you told me you were interested in hanging out but now it's been 2 weeks with zero communication". Etc

Also, if anything, I think she's the one that looks kinda bad because if she doesn't reply again, she left two questions unanswered so I think I've done all I can do.

@shouldhavelearned thank you! That's probably what I'll do. It's just weird because she seemed super apologetic the first time she went silent and even admitted she should have replied. That's why I'm confused that she's gone silent again but this time seems fine with it

@kehratha thank you! Yeah it's just weird and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. This day and age, every one has their phone on them at basically all times.

Yes, "the decency". Why should someone just flat out stop talking to someone without any rhyme or reason? And no, I'm not "enraged". Just irritated. And I think I have every right to be. But I appreciate your feedback.