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1a1a

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  1. Could you try treating painting like nanowrimo? Have a week where you have to be painting for x time every day.
  2. Could be overloaded and burning out. Could also need to work on her emotional regulation but no matter how good or poor that skill is, it gets harder to do when you’re depleted in some way.
  3. Could take the speakers back from her room. Could leave them there but sabotage them so they won’t work anymore. Also all for getting your ducks in a row to move out and lose her as a housemate, she kinda sucks.
  4. Combo of blocking and restraining order against the people who show up uninvited at your door? But mostly I guess with this guy you’re going to have to practice grey rock. https://www.kidspot.com.au/lifestyle/sex-relationships/the-psychrecommended-hack-for-dealing-with-the-narcissist-in-your-life/news-story/04c822aa7f810f1fbd566de35b80ed60?utm_source=SEM&utm_medium=PPC_SEM&utm_campaign={campaign}&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA4Y-sBhC6ARIsAGXF1g5w17sTkHCP9-b_dWR5YgYCVtoic0e8ojjHO9aBvFYDojZchMkyCCsaAiGbEALw_wcB
  5. Can you just block this guy everywhere? Maybe direct him to a lawyer of your own and let them handle the crazy.
  6. When my brain gets stuck on a regret like that, lately I’ve been looking up Eckhart Tolle videos with the search prompt ‘stuck on a thought’ or ‘trapped in negative thinking’ or similar to that. Your mileage may vary but I find him good for calling me back into the present and into my body. Written on the whiteboard where I see the midwife (not her writing it’s a shared office, someone else’s) Painful feeling + resistance = suffering Painful feeling + willing = growth
  7. Your needs are so badly unmet in this relationship you’re starting to crush on people outside of it. Speaking from experience if nothing changes this crush will be the first in a long line of them.
  8. You don’t have to formally bow out of Xmas, on the day of you don’t feel like going then text and say you’ve got gastro.
  9. In this instance I’m thinking about tonight’s gig as a sound tech. The band were very finicky, wanted unusual things, singers spent the whole show out the front of the Pa which meant compromises, one of them was pretty deaf which meant he wanted his vocals really loud above the rest of the band. Much louder than I would usually mix them. If this had been my first gig like this I’d have called it harrowing but I’ve done them before, so I braced myself and tried my best to give them everything they asked for. At the end of the night the bazouki player was unhappy because when an extra musician got on stage I took and educated guess and added him to the foldback, too loud it turns out. And one of the singers had gone hoarse. I was hearing the same mix she was and I don’t really understand how she couldn’t hear herself but there must have been something off in the mix that made her feel like she had to strain. That’s bad actually, I don’t want singers coming out the other side of one of my mixes losing their voice because they couldn’t hear themselves above the band. Possibly both these situations could have been mitigated by more regular checking with the band. They played for a little over 4 hours straight with no break and I must admit I hit the wall about half way through. (But obviously going forward even if I’m tired I’d be served well making it a personal policy to check in with the band as the set progresses. Although I Did interact with the bazouki player a couple of times after adding that drum and he never mentioned it, only that I should turn the master down). The above preamble brings me to my point. Tonight was really hard work, and it wasn’t success. That’s frustrating and demoralising. Especially when I’ve been doing this going on 17 years now and surely by now I should have learnt enough to iron out the kinks that happened tonight. No real question I guess, just howling at the moon. Commiserations and pro tips welcomed.
  10. Somehow seeing this written down helped me get my mind unstuck. There’s a lot of wisdom here, thank you all.
  11. I’ve bought him a replacement and told him as much. But I’m still utterly irritated by this insult on top of all that has transpired. Asked vacuum owning friend to ask as a favour to me. It’s the principle of the matter. And I didn’t loan it, I had it in my house with the rest of my things. Grifter helped himself.
  12. Well, you’re not wrong. Had a brainwave today, maybe the friend that leant me the vacuum could contact ex housemate directly asking when he could pick it up. Still trying to influence a different outcome. Futile right? Vacuum owning friend did not reply, ex housemate still hasn’t replied. Just have to chalk this up to experience. I dunno, for the rent thing yeah should have had paper work that’s just business but for letting this person have a key to my house, with still my possessions in it (I didn’t move out very effectively), that I did because I trusted him not to steal from me. And then bam, theft and silence.
  13. Never did I think anything could happen to shift me along the spectrum from landlord unsympathetic to landlord sympathetic ah hah. But here I am commencing the journey and thinking about what fail safes I’d have in place if I did it again (bond, eagle eye watching to see rent is behind, way less grace time). Remain incredibly grateful that at least they’re physically out!!!! That’s it Batya, I was starting to think they were taking me for a ride. Aussie dollars, I can take the hit, and I get a house out of it one day. But the principle of the matter is grating. Nothing on paper bolt, which would have made it really hard to physically move them if they hadn’t left on their own so there’s a small mercy they left, but yeah, all on paper next time for sure! You trust people, they stop paying rent and steal your vacuum.
  14. (in answer to boltnrun) because of a foolish ideological commitment to not messing with people’s housing security. I’ve had so many landlords tell me I’ll need to move at the end of the lease because they need the house in the last 4 years (before that I somehow lucked out with 11 years in one place; that was my home). I just didn’t want to be that landlord. It would appear I do firmly draw the line at being forced to pay their rent for a prolonged period of time with no discussion and no end in sight though. They’ll never knooooow, the arguments I had with my partner when our own lease ended about not kicking these people out just to assure our own housing security. (We found another house, bit more solvent than these losers. But if I’d known how much drama would unfold in the last 4 months I would have made a different call. What do they say, no good deed goes unpunished!) The last housemate is coincidentally moving out as we speak so re occupying the house is looking like a pretty good option! Gahhhh, I’m just stewing about the injustice of it all and I’d like my brain to drop it.
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