Jump to content


Platinum Member
  • Content Count

  • Joined

Everything posted by 1a1a

  1. I probably would have had this emotional reaction to the lack of one on one contact too. (And then also been reluctant to go that far out of my way to pick someone up. You need to have a well established friendship built on give and take to weather a crisis I think and it sounds like this one was already skewed to her taking). Not saying this reaction is the right one, but plenty sympathetic to it. A cue for both of us to be bigger next time we encounter a friend in crisis I think. (I add, you could be free of the bruised ego component and still decline to give her a lift if that’s time you c
  2. You are, but so is he. If he gets what he wants, to go home, you suffer, yet selfishly he wants you to suffer so he can get what he wants. It’s true that good relationships feature give and take and working together to compromise and accomodate both partners needs. I don’t see him lifting a finger to accomodate yours, and ultimately, if your needs can’t be met in relationship, it is both your freedom and your responsibility to seek your own happiness. Since you both want to live in different countries I’d say this relationship has evolved to a point where you are both fund
  3. If you laid down ‘not returning to your home country’ as an absolutely iron clad non negotiable concrete boundary, would he still want to date you? He sounds like a stone around your neck.
  4. Batya you’re right, but you’re not understanding this company’s particular fixation on it. The focus on speed with no acknowledgement or assessment of the pace already set is unique to here, industry wide the average pace of work is slower. And when I say slower I don’t mean people work slowly, I mean people work at a comfortable quick pace and no one is asking them to sprint through the tasks! What this company is asking for is out of the ordinary. Rose Mosse, financially I am already completely independent so that’s a good something. For my heart? I could let go of the dream of fes
  5. Very good question, the actual mixing part of the work tends to be small cultural festivals. It’s been both an opportunity to hone my skill mixing outdoors and a chance to meet some cool people and hear some different music. ... And somewhere along the way I think I got emotionally invested in that company. Time to disinvest. At first I thought high turn over was because of the inconsistency of work. They have high turnover in labour crew as well, everyone is casual so those who need more consistent income end up in more consistent jobs. The company has really improved and streamline
  6. I like that framing a lot. (I dooooo 😄 )
  7. My old housemate dated someone for almost a year who he didn’t really find sexy. He liked a lot of other things about her a lot and he liked having sex with her but it wasn’t a flaming hot attraction for him. And while flaming hot attractions don’t necessarily make viable foundation for a long term relationship, I think it’s still important. You should think your partner is hot. I digress. Even if he wasn’t a person of poor character who was just stringing you along by now, it’s absolutely possible that he was hitting you up for sexual kicks without really thinking you’re hot, he wouldn’t be t
  8. Writing it out here today the thought occurred that a second routine scheduled time of when to start getting ready would probably increase the success rate of punctuality in a good way. That’s definitely more helpful to unpack the hasty errors that way. Funny story, tonight I received a shift offer from a crewing company and I think their client was this company that doesn’t employ me anymore. That would have been funny if I’d showed up supplied by the crewing company. And great if I’d been able to show up and give the pack down 110% and maybe win back their graces. Alas
  9. The errors only come when trying to work faster. Trying to work fast, according to this company (because my own steady rate is unacceptable to them) yields haste not speed 😞 (The good feedback was from another work place where on the balance I’m probably a better fit. Having said that, I was thinking of when This work place gave me constructive critique and I was honest about not thinking I’d be able to do what they asked and boom, no more work. Lesson learned, only say yes I’ll improve the thing and then try and improve the thing! At least good work place isn’t asking me to do things that mig
  10. Having de ja vu tonight. True enough my suspicions about my having fallen off the roster were founded. Although I have other places to work that appreciate me somewhere between ‘you’re fine’ and ‘you’re the best please do every show’, and I continue to think that trying to hang in somewhere you’ve lost rapport is a fools errand. But it’s still a downer. And then I remembered I’d already posted about this and dug up this thread and went over it. During the shelter in place times I started working out, thought if I get stronger and more energetic I can work quicker, it was fo
  11. Seconding don’t go places where this bully is. That’s not being troublesome, that’s keeping you safe, especially if you can hold it together and keep your departure or absence light and cheery ‘can’t come to dinner today, I need to reorganise my widget collection, I’ll see you next time).
  12. Interested in bonking you but not in dating. If you want to date rather than just bonk this will be an endlessly painful and disappointing interaction for you
  13. Trying to get blood out of a stone. You can keep doing this, you’ll get hurt every time.
  14. You’ve told her you need space, let that space go on foreverrrr. If she chases you, tell her your feelings haven’t changed.
  15. Co signing do you both have the income to spare that hiring a cleaner could be a resolution to this problem?
  16. I feel a certain aversion to planning social things in advance but I know some of the people I like prefer too and are unlikely to be receptive to spontaneous invites. But I really like their company. So I make plans in advance and follow through on them. I reckon you can dial back the work you’re doing on maintaining that friendship to zero.
  17. My high school sweet heart was someone I loved immensely. We had pretty different politics though. When we broke up I did not miss the kind of disagreements we had because of those conflicting beliefs though.
  18. “He literally controls the girl's choice of gender (she is part of the LGBTQ fam) and her speech ” This is what is jumping out at me. Why do you want to get back someone who would do this, to anyone?
  19. You deserve so much more and you’ll be able to see this for yourself if you can get some distance from him. Co signing speak to a lawyer.
  20. Reasons are for reasonable people. He isn’t, so use no as a complete sentence, hang up on him if he won’t drop it, remove yourself from the situation and deny him your company if he’s going to harangue you
  21. The emotional without the sexual does not a sustainable relationship make. I think this has run its course. It would be ok to let it go, not every relationship lasts forever.
  22. Some of us are pretty darn rare creatures, which means that our viable matches are very thin on the ground indeed and we have to meet a looot of people to find them. I think it might be helpful to sandwich dating with activities, the company of people who love you and application of yourself to long term goals. I’ve found the dating misses feel like less of a drag when I do this. Also, be super careful about the stories you tell yourself. If another person declines to romance you and you tell yourself ‘I will never find someone’ that is going to fuel that despair and make y
  23. I agree with the thought that the goal posts of ‘you don’t make me feel like a priority’ can and are being moved. This is an internal problem, only she can fix it. Meanwhile what is she doing to meet you half way? It doesn’t sound like she’s lifting a finger to close the emotional distance between you. And you won’t be able to if she doesn’t participate. Getting upset at you for having feelings. She needs a reality check!
  24. Telling you to kill your self should be a deal breaker. I co sign get away from this woman
  25. I like hhousewife’s idea. Definitely, don’t keep cheating. If you think your husband would leave if he knew then you’re being incredibly selfish and you should end it!
  • Create New...