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About Me

Found 9 results

  1. So this a long a story but the background behind is the reason I am so unsure. so around 2 and half years ago I met this man let’s call him b, I was his manager at the time. I valued my job but in out line of work we would end up doing 12 hours shifts together just the two of us. Over time we grew close. And couldn’t deny that it was more than a professional relationship and we were both developing feelings. B is a widow and quite a bit older than I am. However before anything developed between him and I. I fell pregnant with my long term ex after one lonely night. I explained this to b and he accepted it and said he still wanted to give us a chance but to keep it a secret until I went on may leave so neither of us had to stop working. he told me he had been in a long distance relationship with a lady let’s from German but that was over. b lives and hour away from me. my due date was 7 days away and b phoned me and said he was going to Portugal. when he got back baby was born and we made arrangements for me to go see him and meet baby. When I got there his flight info was on the kitchen side it said hr had flown to Germany. I immediately showed him and said I thought you went to Portugal. He turned things to me saying I shouldn’t have looked. Said it was all to much with the baby and decided he didn’t want the relationship anymore. We got back together after 6 weeks and everything was good. I was still questioning if he had told the truth but had no reason to doubt he had been to both. He said he was still in contact with the lady from Germany occasionally like at Christmas and birthdays. However I have a gut feeling this is again half the truth. The reason for this feeling is in more than one occasion when I have been to visit him I have come across letters from her telling him how much she loves him and misses him. Everytime he has said something along the lines of he can’t control what she said and then get angry I saw this. Even tho they are just sitting on the kitchen side. If her name comes up on his phone which he keeps very secretive he will quickly try to ensure I don’t see it. We don’t have a lot of time together with him being an hour away and me having three children. My older children are 7 and 9 and he wants to start coming to my house after nearly two years it would seem like the most logical next step. However I still have a gut feeling he is lying to me about the woman from Germany and perhaps there is more to it. I know she is in a different country but it to me if he is still having a long distance relationship whatever that may entail this is a deception. I have callled him out on this and explained my doubts about him getting to know my children whilst I have these doubts. He says I’m paranoid because of my past and I need to trust him. I found a letter less than a week ago and it has her contact details on. I have considered contacting her. If he is lying to us both then she should know. And if I am being paranoid I can put this all to bed and let him be part of my family and maybe get myself some help from my past. I really don’t know whether I should contact her. I don’t think if he found out regardless of what she says he would forgive me for contacting her. But I also don’t feel I can let him get to know my children if I have any doubt. any advice would be welcome as I’m going round in circles in my head
  2. The issues in my marriage stem from my husband was married to a horrific hideous obese woman before me and it made me feel like I lowered my standards being with him. Yes I know it is a mentally messed up issue all on me but it is what it is. In return the issue caused me to welcome attention from other men to boost my ego , even though it never went further than just flirting. That caused a sick cycle. My husband would get mad resulting in fights where he would scream, cuss & call me every name possible to hurt me for hours on end even though I would ball up in a corner begging him to stop. This became a constant cycle for years. Even though my flirting stopped and I purposely do not have friends, because I don't want to expose anyone to his fights they have progressively gotten worse to physical abuse. Now to make matters worse when one of his fights happens and he goes outta control, he will go and broadcast everything bad about me to anyone he can find to listen, even posting publicly on social media how awful I am. He has said he will stop and has gotten a lil better but the fact is he did it in the 1st place. When his fights happen, they ignite from anything and it's like he is another outta control person that I don't recognize. What do I do stay and try to help him or run like hell cause someone like this can't change!?!
  3. I met this girl online two years ago. We became really close and said we would be a couple if we lived in the same country. We would text video and call daily and share a lot of things. I was planning on flying over to meet her once corona died down. my situation is i was off work for eighteen months due to medical reasons. I ended up talking to another girl with a better timezone and got semi close to her. Each time i did i knew i was doing the wrong thing and i shouldnt be messaging this other girl. i have no stopped messaging this other girl but after six months, the girl i want and was really close with has been hurt and no longer feels the same as me towards her. She says she just wants me to be her friend and to be honest with her. How can i regain her trust and faith to win her back and show her i am not the same guy who hurt her?
  4. So basically I've been dating this guy for almost four months. Yesterday he drove to another state to go and hangout with a girl he met on tinder before we met, but who he considers to be a close friend (although they have never met each other before this). He called me on his way down to talk about stuff he wanted to do if we ever went to the mountains together, but once he got there I barely heard from him. He said they got food and then they went to an arcade and then I found out he was at her house until 10pm. I drove down to my friends place to celebrate their birthday and he called me worried because he thought something happened to me. That's when I found out he was at her house and I almost broke down. I don't think he'd cheat on me, but that also sounded like a date. He asked me if I didn't want him to do that again and I said no and then he said "fine then." When I expressed to him that I was hurt and uncomfortable he was unapologetic and eventually he mocked my feelings. I was drunk by this point, and had told him to talk to me tomorrow when I was sober, but he kept pushing the conversation and I stupidly kept responding. After he mocked me I got angry and said something I shouldn't have. Then his car broke down. I woke up and texted him an apology and everything and throughout the day I've been checking on him and he only responded to me a few minutes ago. He said "I'm fine. What do you want to talk about?" I apologized again for lashing out at him but he isn't expressing how he feels or felt at all. He doesn't even seem interested in how I felt nor why. Once I got him to explain to me his relationship with the girl I started explaining why I felt the way I did and he has stopped talking to me again. The only reason he started talking to me was because I snapped his friend and asked if he was okay. Someone please tell me what to do. I don't understand why he's acting like this. He once again doesn't understand why he hurt me and doesn't seem like he cares to. If you love someone, aren't those the kinds of things that matter the most? I don't know what to say to him and I'm so frustrated that he's acting like this is all my fault.
  5. So, I (19F) started dating my boyfriend (19M) in January of this year. This is my first relationship and this is his third. He broke up with his most recent high school girlfriend due to distance and going in different directions for college, etc. (college stuff) in September 2020. Him and his girlfriend dated for a little over a year. I can’t stop thinking about his ex and I’m trying to stop. He’s even reassured me and I trust him, but it doesn’t help that they still kinda stay in contact and have the same friends lol :/. However, whenever I was stalking his Instagram (which I know we all have done before!), I noticed a picture where she was wearing his chain when they were dating. This made me uncomfortable because it made me feel like it was a hand-me-down and kind of not as special. I expressed this to him and told him I appreciated it, but it made me feel weird. Am I overreacting or is that completely rational and normal? I feel naked without it now and I liked having something to help me remind of him since we are now long distance for summer. Also, since i’m planning on giving it back to him when I go visit in a couple weeks (unless someone on here tells me i should keep it), I want to put a charm or something on it with my name on it to remind him of me, but again, the ex have him something to put on his chain when they were together... is that me just being silly? Please help!!!
  6. We met three months ago, we dated, and it was going very well, he is a Capricorn and I'm a Taurus, both male. we were so connected, and we planned so much for the future, even getting in a serious relationship and maybe marriage. but last week we had a fight that he wants to live the night-life (Nightclubs and partying) I wasn't welcomed because of his friends. I was looking after him from snapchat feeds on my friend's phone and I called him saying I hope you enjoy it. when he came back, I welcomed him with all love. next day, he started changing, he said I have to enjoy my life, don't look after me, you have to trust me. and he brought subjects of infidelity as if I will cheat, he stopped texting me or calling from work (he used to call me and chat with me) I'm confused, why he is being so cold? he seems out of place and disconnected, it’s a long-distance relationship but we are always on a video call, suddenly he sits there without any words, opens the camera and gets busy with other things than me. help me please. what do you think?
  7. Hello all, Background: I have a 5 year old son who is my adopted son. When he was born I thought he was mine and I coparented for 3 years. During that 3rd year I got a DNA test done out of curiosity. He was not mine, but I love him too much to abandon him. Hes my son and I want to be in his life. 19 days ago my ex dumped me out of the blue with her reasoning being because "she doesnt want to be a step mom to a child thats not mine." We dated for 10 months, its not that long but for me I was ready to marry her. I was going to propose to her in May before my graduation. I have a ring and everything and this is blowing my mind right now. I cry everyday on the thought of her. My ex, has known about my son from day 1. We have had mulitple conversations about how my son would fit in our life. We discussed if he might live with us if I wanted a better life for him. We even dicussed how she felt and what she didnt like it but respected I was still in his life. Thats why this doesnt make sense to me. A week before she dumped me, she meet my son for first time which she says caused her to rethink the situation and what she wants. First, my ex deserves whatever she wants in life. its her life. I will not self impose my beliefs or wants for her. Her happiness is her own. If she doesnt want to be with a man with a child. Thats her right but my issue with this is how can these issue pop up 10 months LATER. We spoke everyday. We talked everyday. We spent so much time together. She old me she'd never leave me a week before she dumped me. She said I was her best friend all the time. She told me I was her soul mate and that our souls will always find each other in past lives. She told me all the time how I was the sweetest caring man in the world and how she was so lucky to have me and that I was everything she ever wanted in a man. How could someone who I trusted and loved abandon me so quickly. If she never wanted to date a man with a child why let it go 10 months with me thinking I was going to spend my life with her. We had talked of marriage. We talked about kids. We talked about moving in together this summer and start our life together. The day before this all started she kissed me and told me she loved me and was all over me. I am just thrown in a maze of emotions right now. Why tell me shes going to have my children and were going to raise them to be amazing kids but leave? Why subject me with all the love and support and encouragement I ever recieved in a relationship and then be gone like nothing happened? I know I should move on. I know its the best thing for me but this is the first connection I ever had with a woman. The first time I ever wanted to marry a woman. I told her I wanted to go to the court house in August 2020 and she said she was ready but we didnt because I decided she deserved a bigger wedding. It was my fault we didnt get married ove summer. She was ready to marry me in August. How can she just leave me like this right now? The day before she broke up with me she sends a text first thing in morning stating "I cringe every time you mention your son." She goes on to say how she would be mean to my son. She would get into fights with her his mom. She even said "I dont know if I'll ever be able to love your son". Last thing she said "that day was shes just letting me know how she feels. Shes not breaking up with me". She states shes has abandoment issues because her dad left her before she was born and she doesnt want me to abandon her or make her feel unimportant because of my son. I would have never dont that to her. I would do anything to be with her! I would never put my son over her. I know in marriage wife comes first. I would give my last dollar or cut off my leg for her. I didnt get my son plenty of times bcause I was spending time with her bc I was focused on creating a connection and bond for marriage. I dont understand why she didnt even want to work on this issue. We could grown and worked thru these issues she had. She even stated before that shes broken up with dudes for no reason. That she always causes the break up. That she leaves bc shes scared in relationships bc she doesnt feel worthy enough. But We could have gone to therapy about her feelings and these issues, but she just left me with the coldest and meanest face I have ever seen her give to me. I was so hurt. When she dumped me she said "If I asked you choose *blank* or me who do you pick? " I said Im not picking anyone over anyone. But Im not abandoning him. Hes my son. I love him. I still pick you bc I love you. You are always be first to me though. "Well you made your choice. Its over. I deserve better then to be a step mom..." when she said that I started to cry. Last thing she said to me was, "Dont block me just yet, my period still hasnt came." I lost it then. I hung up the facetime call. I started to crying more and instantly went to facebook to unfriend her. She had already unfriended me. She had planned on breaking up with me before I even got on facetime with her. I feel betrayed. All my trust and love I had in her is gone. I wanted a life with her and she didnt with me. I just feel so worthless right now. Any advice...Please. Thank you
  8. Hello, I’m not sure who will see this as it’s my first time using this website (hope I’m posting this right), but I feel like I need an outside perspective on this. This may be long as I want to minimize the amount of unknown information to make this non one sided or biased. The main issue: my online boyfriend (age20) gets very moody when I (21) am not in the mood to do any sexual activity. context: we have been together for about a year now and since 2021 started I’ve noticed this issue coming up a lot. When he’s in the mood for sex (this is an online relationship so I’m talking about phone sex) and I’m not it’s like a switch goes off; he’ll become quiet and give me “yeah” “ok” type answers, gives me attitude, we’ll sit there for an hour saying nothing to each other, he used to even just leave the call saying he has something else to do. I’ve addressed this to him a few times and each time it’s a different answer: “when you say you’re not in the mood I think you mean you’re not in the mood for anything” “it’s an issue with the way I interpret things that I’m trying to work on” and something about how he used to behave in the past. Now I accept these answers but I’m seeing no improvement. I’ve also noticed that sometimes when he’s in the mood, it’s the only thing he’ll bring up; he’ll be distracted by something else (Netflix/video games) and every few minutes say “what you saying?” (That’s basically our way of asking if the other wants to have sex), he’ll ignore my comments, won’t make any conversation, just go back to his show then randomly ask again until I say yes or until he realizes he can’t convince me. Just tonight he did this all again. Gave me attitude and everything, I left the facetime only for him to call back later, still being quiet and giving “yeah” “ok” answers to me. It’s like this every single time, to the point where sometimes I just go along with it to save myself the headache. There will be times where we won’t have sex for max 2 weeks, and during those days he’s constantly moody. background information: we started off with a “friends with benefits” type of relationship. We would have sex everyday (no exaggeration) even once we started getting more serious, it was still an everyday thing. We were very rocky however during that point in our relationship; he was emotionally unavailable for a while and I was coming on to him very strong. So reading this it’s understandable to think “maybe I’m the one who’s changed and he’s not used to this.” My sex drive hasn’t necessarily changed, I’m just less infatuated and more in love, I enjoy a different type of intimacy now, the emotional kind. Before I would be ok with doing that everyday because my infatuation for him was strong and I would be fine doing anything so long as it was with him. Another thing I should mention is that I suffer from diagnosed Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder, so my mood and energy levels are never consistent. There’s times where I am in The mood to do that everyday and times where I don’t want to for weeks. Before he knew me he was a player; his relationship with women didn’t go past having sex (in person not online). He wasn’t serious about finding someone, and still strung up on his ex. He told me when he met me however, he was trying to move on from that lifestyle and settle down. Thank you to whoever took the time to read all of this. I think that’s everything (hoping I didn’t miss anything). Actually while writing that I thought maybe I should mention: we’re pretty serious, we talk about our future, we plan to visit each other once COVID isn’t a thing, I’ve met his friends/mom and he’s met mine. Despite all of this though, I don’t know what to do. In all honesty it makes me feel like ***. Like when I don’t want to have sex then there’s no point in conversation or anything anymore.. it hurts me a lot and he knows this, which makes it worse. I’m hoping that someone can at least help me understand more about his mindset or why he does this. Maybe I’m not seeing something..
  9. So that you understand what is going on, I need to explain the story behind my situation. I met a girl on a platform we used to write. We wrote short stories together, and it was quite fun. After a few months, we began to speak more outside of the story itself and somehow we developed feelings for each other. We are in different countries so, even though I had never been in a LDR before, our relationship was doomed to stay that way for a long while. I'm a very physical person and most of my relationships were heavily based on appearances, and physical bond. Though, with her it was different. I didn't feel that attracted to her looks, she was probably the least attractive person I had ever been with, yet somehow I enjoyed her company a lot and we couldn't help but text all day and sometimes call each other to watch series, movies etc. It went on for a couple of months, yet something was missing. Probably the lack of touch, and the fact that our schedules were quite hard manage and match. Two days ago I talked to her about it and she said she felt the same way. We decided to get back to where we were before since it wasn't really working out, and I thought we were doing the right thing. The next morning she sent me a good morning text, saying that it had became part of her morning routine hence we she still did it. We talked for a while that day trying to get back to the "friends" stage, but something feels off. I feel like I miss her even though we keep talking (just in a different way). I can't help but feel sad and sometimes regret being upfront about it with her. Should I try to get her back? Should I try to explain how I am feeling to her? Should I suck it up and wait for covid to disappear and go get some rebound sex? I would appreciate any income on the matter, Thank you for reading.
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