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Everything posted by smackie9

  1. Must be nice to write off property taxes...that don't happen in Canada.
  2. Oh yes I can see that. Claiming to be single can bring a better tax break for sure.
  3. Elderly or not, he's a man with options. I know that even in those senior places, they get around. One of the highest rates of sexually transmitted diseases. I feel the age difference has him not taking this too seriously. It's possible you gave him the confidence to try for someone new. Have the talk if you wish more than casual.
  4. Just goes to show you, every situation is different. To note, some well educated married people stay together because it's cheaper to stay married than get divorced. Out of the mouth of a few coworkers of mine who's marriages are pretty much mute.
  5. I see a flaw in that because, most of those people were just dating, move in together sometimes almost immediately and the pregnancy was most likely an accident, not planned. And they stick together for the child's sake, not because they want to plan a future together. I think the OP is better than that. If he's already established, can afford to buy a home on his own, responsible, he won't be a part of those statistics. For my situation, it was heavily discussed very early in our relationship. And we were careful as to when we would live together. We made sure we were mentally and financially ready, sorted out expenses ahead of time. We prepared.
  6. What if the condom breaks or slips off and you don't have another one? Dude there are plenty of college girls that are looking for extra cash. Checkout Craigslist.
  7. Dude the writing is on the wall...you are the other guy. Ditch the $%^&* You being played.
  8. I think that comes from low self esteem/no self worth. Picking bad over good. They need that overbearing attention to feel desired.
  9. Stable and comfortable yes, boring no. Ring or not, that's what matters...being with the right person for the long haul.
  10. Female here: I never got married myself, but we have been together for over 30 years. In the eyes of the Canadian government we are common-law and are subject to the same laws as being married.. BUT to a lot of women, marriage/wedding is very symbolic. I never understood the desire but some women NEED that. They need that special day because they dream of it. They won't feel complete without it. She hung in there hoping you would change your mind this I know. Now it's niggling at her. She wants this. You better stop everything if this is a dealbreaker for the both of you. TBH I don't think she's gonna stick this out with you. The getting the mortgage is the catalyst....it's making her teeter on the fence.
  11. This is the time you bust out of your shell and throw yourself into everything. Fill up ever inch of your day with dinner with friends, watch a movie, go to the gym, go for a power walk with a friend, head out for a coffee, see an art exhibit, go for a bike ride with a buddy, take up a new hobby, etc. Take a journal and write something positive in it everyday, like what you like about yourself, a dream, what inspires you, what moment was best for you that day, etc. This is all about feeling good 🙂 IMO you don't need those meds, you can do this if you put your mind to it!
  12. Easy....this is how relationships play out. You like each other, it gets intense, you both say you will be together forever, the novelty wears off, then you have to figure out how to say goodbye so you can move on. It's perfectly normal. Yes it takes a lot of feelings and emotions, but it is necessary. Those feeling will go away as you carry on adjusting to a life without them. It's to make room for someone new. That's how the process continues. I agree you should seek out therapy, or at least try some self help books or seek out a life coach. Things are not that bad for you right now. I feel you can work through all this anxiety if you work hard at it. BUT if you do nothing you will end up in the darkest blackest of your mental issues restricting you from enjoying life. Be inspired to have all those wonderful things you wish to have.....
  13. You have gotten some good advice. There are plenty of ways to stop this, and it's called hanging up, changing your number, shut down your social media or go under a different name, set your settings to private, etc. As for the calls let it go to voice mail or have your therapist text or email you. I agree he's trying to hoover you back with bait. Letting you borrow something, or invites, or a promise of having your money, etc. You can sure as hell shut that down. I can tell it's got you almost there going back to him and it scares you. I myself have been there. It's not unusual to go back to your abuser several times. I hope you can stay strong, and resist all temptation.
  14. Old guy just wanted to talk to someone because he's lonely...maybe estranged from his family, etc. Old people just do that...they talk your ear off. My next door neighbor always stuck his head over the fence like MR. Wilson as I pulled up in the driveway . Then one day his wife finally gave him crap.."For Christ sake, she just got home from work! leave her alone Bob! He did the same thing to my husband too lol. Now it's a wave, how ya doin and that's it. IMO no matter what, it's always good to know your neighbors. They will keep a watchful eye on your place while you are away, etc.
  15. Who cares if things shut down at 9pm. You can still grab an ice cream and go for a walk, or go for a drive.
  16. Is this a cyber type relationship?
  17. can't take these things so personally...ya I know it's hard but, put yourself in their shoes. If you weren't interested in someone but they kept messaging you etc, how does that make you feel? When I feel a blow to the old self esteem I just think about people who have problems way worse than mine and feel blessed with what I have.
  18. 8pm too late? What is with you young people? I used to go out til 11 or 12, then start work at 8am. Have a nap before you go out.
  19. You turned into a crazy person, and it sucked all the air out of "what we have." If you would have been the kool laid back chick with lots going on in her life, you may have been more appealing to him....by not concerning yourself how much attention you should be getting from him, etc. We can't say if he was into you or not. Only he can say, but being obsessed definitely contributed to him scampering away. here's a tip: to be desirable is to be less available. People desire most what they can't have. That's how it works. But unfortunately you were the one chasing with your desire on over charge.
  20. All I can say is, this is not normal. This is debilitating. It's stopping her from doing things, enjoying things, enjoying life. She needs to get a medical assessment/treatment. This is no way to live.
  21. That sounds bi-polar. Just giving you the heads up, most of us have dealt with mental illness more ways than one.
  22. well then just tell her, if she is moody, she can tell you to give her some space. You leave her alone and go do something else with your time until she snaps out of it.
  23. Obviously he has met someone, so that part he's just moving on. Your agreement was casual, and it was. He did the decent thing and broke it off instead of ghosting or whatever. I think you have an expectation issue...you will take anything, and hope it will turn into something. You invested when you shouldn't have. Was it unfair? Only to yourself. Casual mean no obligation or promise of a future. Next time stay away from "casual" or any guy that says "I'm not ready for anything serious"
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