Hatsuri

My parents think that he’s a “dub” meaning they don’t like him, but don’t hate him either. My father never was around him because of the state difference and only seen him in picture and heard his voice. My mother knows him a bit better, but doesn’t like him because she doesn’t like how he leaves without telling me anything and doesn’t give me attention. In my view, I know the reason why he disappears (which I find no offense to) and he’s not very verbal like me nor expressive so it takes a bit to figure out his true intentions sometimes.

My mother had bought my phone and my father added me onto his mother’s phone line. I originally had my Uncle’s old phone and was added onto my dad’s mother’s line.

I’m a freshman in high school. They don’t particularly like him for a few things, but my mother told me before she wants me to live my own life without her making the decision for me. I’ve been with him for 1 year.

I know I seriously messed up, but I’m conflicted. My parents recently put me on punishment for about a month because of my conversation with my boyfriend. To sum it all up, I had mentioned how I was a burden to my mother, mentioned she should’ve aborted me to make her life easier, said that children are used to get money (both parents had to pay child support to my Grandma when I lived with her), and some dark stuff I will not mention here. They decided to take away my electronics, put me on punishment, told me my summer will be spent in therapy and nothing else, and that I have to break up with my boyfriend. Here’s where I need help: I don’t know what to do. I don’t know whether or not to follow my head and break up with him because I know I messed up or follow my heart and keep him hidden. I don’t want to leave him, but I don’t want to get in more trouble. I’m so conflicted